Disclaimer: Not mine.

Because dude, no matter how much I adore HG, that Monster thing in HBP was beyond corny.


Ginny plopped down next to Harry on the Common Room sofa, still not quite able to believe she was dating him. It was…well, sudden and unexpected, to say the least.

Harry grinned at her, and she smiled back a little hesitantly. "So why'd you kiss me, anyway?" she blurted out, finally asking what she'd been wondering for about a week, now. "After the Quidditch match, I mean. I had no idea you liked me like that."

Harry looked mildly embarrassed. "Erm. Well, see, it felt like there was a monster clawing away right here," he said, touching his chest.

Ginny blinked, brow furrowing. "You got heartburn and decided you wanted to snog me?" she demanded, rather put-out.

"What? No! I mean, the monster, it was when I saw you and Dean kissing."

"That's called jealousy, Harry. It's not a monster," Ginny said, lips twitching.

Harry looked honestly befuddled, to Ginny's alarm. "But…I always heard people talking about a green-eyed monster – you mean there wasn't a beast in my chest cavity waiting to claw its way out and eviscerate Dean?"

She gaped at him, and then saw it – a certain curl of her own green-eyed monster's lips.

"You," she announced, "are an absolute arse."

He just grinned.