ponies and lamps and PANTRIES i do not own


Sirius: Being confined in this one place for so long is driving me insaner than usual. -laughs manically- I CHALLENGE YOU TO A RACE AROUN THE WORLD! Remus is on my team.

James: I get Lily! -Grabs her possesively-

Lily: I'm only going to see Zimbabwe. And to make sure you don't kill the Zimbabweans.

Remus: Okay, here are the rules; No chocolate after bed time,

Everyone: AWWW!

Remus: No apperating, only brooms. And you must bring a souveneir back from every country you go to.

Sirius: ANYTHING!?

Remus: No, you can't bring back the magic elevator from Micheal Jackson's chocolate factory. The oompaloompa's will decapitate you in your sleep. Trust me, that's how my mom died.

Lily: Who would be stupid enough to try to and steal the elevator anyway?

Remus: MY MOTHER! bursts into flames

James: OOOH! BURRRRRN!

Katie: He's almost as hot as you Sirius!

Sirius: NEVERZZZ

Katie: I'm on your team

Sirius: YOU CAN'T BE! NO WOMEN!

Lily: EXCUSE ME?

Katie: WHY NOT?

Sirius: Lily counts as a man!

Lily: Thanks...

Sirius: You're just so macho and you scare me...I respect you, man

Lily: Don't call me man. Call me mama.

Sirius: THat word has been forbidden to me. Please try again.

Lily: Call me...LALiQUA!

Sirius: That'll do.

Remus: covered in ash CAN WE GO YET?

THIS RACE AROUND THE WORLD IS SPONSORED IN PART BY: MCDONAGALL'S;WE KNOW YOU'RE LOVING IT

Lily: hops on James back GO PONY GO! he falls over YOU ARE WEAK!

James: gets on broom HOP ON! COME WITH ME IF YOU WISH TO LIVE!

Lily: You better have a map.

James: I have a keen sense of direction. And the map is in my (dora music) BACPACK BACKPACK!

Dora the explorer: QUIT USING MUH WORDS OR I'M A YOUR

Lily: GOOOOO! james goes

---------

Remus: Alright we should probably start moving now!

Sirius: turns into a half snail I'm comin...I'm a comin...

Remus: GET ON!

Sirius: It? Um...if youyo insists...

Remus: Alright...

Sirius: I'm planning on getting some garters and panties from every country...what do you think?

Remus: That those eskimos are prudes and you're going to have your work cut out for you.

---

Lily: James, I don't think he wants to come with us.

James: Aw, but I love this old mexican guy! Look at his ass! points at donkey

Lily: James, for the last time, we're in Morocco, and that guy wants to kill you. Just like the easter bunny...

James: heaves a great sigh FINE! steals the guy's sombrero and hops back on broom, gives donkey the carrot

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Sirius: I met a cortesan in Japan who had connections with a scientist and he enlarged my sperm! Now I have a pet SPERMY to ride! Come, Semus, let's go! sperm flies

Remus: That is disgusting.

Sirius: You're hurting Semus's feelings! It's ok, Remus doesn't mean it, it's his time of the month!

Remus: I'm feeling fragile...

Katie: out of nowhere I THOUGHT YOU SAID NO WOMEN! What's with the sperm?

Sirius: Remus is a hermaphrodite, thank you very much!

Semus: eats REmus

SIrius: Oh, dang!

----------------------------

Lily and James in Zimbabwe

Lily: HELP ME GET THE click click GIRAFFE into the click click CAR!

James: eats a sandwich, made of people, but he doesn't know it I CAN"T DOclickity click clack EVERYTHING AT ONCE LILY! I CAN'T MAKE YOUR BABIES AND GET THE click GIRAFFE in the click click CAR AT THE SAME Time!

Lily: WHO SAYS YOU'RE MAKING MY BABIES!

Jaine and Jess: AHEM clears throat GOD.

Lily: Oh...WAIT A MINUTE! GET THAT TURKEY BASTER AWAY FROM ME!

Random Zimbabwean: CLICK CLICK chokes on something.

------------------

Sirius: My partner is dead..can I have HERPES one of those awesome hats?

Russian: YOu'll have to kill me for it!

Sirius: Okay...Semussss!

Semus: eats russian

Sirius: picks up hat YAY! puts it on Semus RIDE SPERMY RIDE!

----

BOTH TEAMS ARRIVE AT JAINE's house in WE'LL NEVER TELL WHERE! New Jersey.

Sirius: I get the asian one!

James: I'll take the blonde!

Lily: What is with you and BLONDES?

Jess: You have red hair. STOP CRUSHING MY DREAMS!

Sirius: Okay get on the SEMUS!

Jaine: You mean the GIANT SPERM?

Sirius: If we're going to get technical, yes.

Jaine: ALRIGHT! gets on Semus

James: You get on the click giraffe now!

Jess: hops on giraffe I DEMAND A COOKIE!

Lily: hands cookie HAPPY BLONDIE?!

James: Why do you have those at all times?

Lily: Are you questioning my diet?

Jess: LET"S GOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jaine: plays with Semus Fetch the hat Semus, fetch!

Semus: rolls over and giggles...can sperm do that? Well..they can now...

Sirius: To Jaine: Can I have some of your panties?

Jaine: If that means will I come with you...sure...

James: WHATEVER...FIRST ONE HOME WINS!

Sirius: RUN LIKE THE WIND SEMUS! Or um, fly.

----

It was a tie. But in all fairness, Semus was the most awesome thing they got. Jaine and Jess demanded hugs and email addresses before leaving, even though Lily was the only one that had one. They abandoned her to explain what an email address was, and soon returned to Russia to fetch Remus's body, which Sirius left on the glacier. Jaine hugged Semus goodbye, and promised to bring him more treats. Jess branded James on the shoulder, and said "YOU ARE MINE NOW!"Lily just laughed.

THE END...of this chapter...

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