I didn't mean to like him.
Who would've ever thought I could like...a child. And a male child to be exact. I didn't even know I was a homosexual, nonetheless a fucking pedophile. But am I really a pedophile if the boy likes me too? Who am I to judge such decisions. I can't figure out my own screwed up life and feelings, how the hell am I supposed to know where everything else stands.
I'm a mercenary. A god-damned to hell assassin, and I want a boy. A young boy, whose soul is promised to heaven, while mine is condemned to the darkest corners of hell. Who am I to want him? Who am I in general? You'd think I would know this. I don't. I don't have the faintest clue. I can use 90 percent of my brain capacity, and I am smarter than any average human, and still have no idea. But I am far from any human. That's for certain. That I know.
Who am I?
I'm Slade. Slade Wilson. The incredibly selfish bastard who steals so much, and always gets what he wants. But desires the one thing he can't have. Go fucking figure. And what of this desire? You really want to know? Robin. That's his name. At least his little masquerade superhero name. I know his real name. Little Richard Grayson, who lost his parents before his eyes when he was younger. Who runs around a hero, stopping villains. But what potential he could have as a villain. As the potential I would have as a hero. Pfft.
No, but really. I've tried to take the boy under my wing and train him as my own. As you see, I've had children. As cold and shallow my old, worn heart is, it has loved. And I've had a wife, as hard as that is to believe. A wife who had beared my three children. But later, took my eye with a bullet to my head. Surprising? None to say the least. That's how love is in it's vile, despicable ways. Teasing young hearts only for a short moment, only to disappear completely when you least expect it. Leaving only yourself to blame in the aftermath. The cruel demon of love, I sometimes believe to be even more harsh than me. And that's a statement.
I don't blame my wife though. Not only did she almost kill me, but she was the love of my life. The biggest mistake of my life. My children are dead. And I find only myself to blame. See, what did I tell you about love? A horrible mind game is all it is. Twisting your emotions to its whims. My kids, trying to fall in the big footsteps of daddy, signing their own death sentence. It's sad really. And don't take me untruthfully, I have regrets, so many, that I can drown in the sorrow and the numbers of them all. That's why I try not to think about this. My sins...my life.
It was my fault. All my fault they died. And after them, my ex-wife. Of a broken heart. My fault. And when they died, so did my heart, and my love. Or so I thought. But then again, no one cares about my life. This world is just a heartless animal kingdom anyway. I'm just a masked vigilante like all the others.
But like I stated before, there is more than one reason I am confused. I know society. Society does not confuse me,...I confuse me.
I hadn't even known I still beared a heart, or that the accursed organ was still beating, nonetheless, I didn't even know I still had these...affections. Yes, affections. Even I own these unwanted feelings. Such a strange thing indeed. I haven't felt like this since my wife, although this is much different. The person who's pulling the strings of my heart is even unknowing.
The leader of the Teen Titans. What a silly name. Stupid disposition. Why do I like him again? I know this. Sort of. The brave, noble Robin, perched on his own 'T' in the middle of an island. That doesn't mean he's out of my reach. No, I've tried to teach him my ways, to make him my apprentice. But being the bold, stubborn child that he is, he refused on a dime. Stupid move. Very stupid indeed. The boy would make an excellent villain, and he likes the thrill of it, but he would never let himself admit it. He often claims that he hates me. I know better.
Maybe it's because I used his friends to make him my apprentice. Their lives were almost taken, and his problem would've been solved. But then the boy was smart enough to outsmart me. Which was pretty surprising. I wasn't expecting that. He used his own life in counter balance, as if almost playing his cards, making an unsecured bet. A very good move actually. I don't know if he planned to make it out of there alive or not, but he knew I didn't want him dead. I want the boy as my own, I wouldn't want to hurt him.
I just said I wanted him, didn't I? Well, I do. Not only do I appear to like the boy, but I want him too. Yes, I want him. I want a child. Is it wrong? Am I sick? Perhaps. That's not going to change these feelings though. I think I believe this because I feel things toward this boy that are so familiar, that I've never felt this before. I'm feeling new things toward him, things that have been boarded up in my heart. I'm feeling fucking fatherly instincts toward him for god's sake. Maybe it's because I've had young ones, but they've been gone for many years. Leaving that space empty in my heart. That he...might be filling? You may not think I am wrong, but at this point, I think I'm getting there fast. I don't know what's happening to me.
Robin, Robin. I love his alias name. So much beautiful symbolism. Like a little bird, waiting to be caged and tamed by me. Beautiful. Why do I want this boy? Sometimes I find it a mystery. Maybe it's because he's young, perfect, strong, pretty, devilishly handsome? Maybe. And even if the word 'pretty' is a feminine thing, I think it very much suits him. He is a very pretty boy. And I'm not afraid to say that...to myself. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone else. I'm a very lonely person. But I've trained myself so well that I handle loneliness as if it wasn't there. So I'm used to being alone. As any trained martial artist would be.
Another thing about Robin is that he is a match for me. There is rarely a person who can last more than three minutes in a fight with me. And Robin is one of them. He is so good, he can almost match me. Almost. In a blink of an eye, I could give it my all and he would be down for the count. But I wouldn't want to do that. Fighting with him,...is quite entertaining. I like to see his fighting styles and secret moves. His battle cries during fights, and his grunts as he is hit.
Robin's not used to losing. And neither am I. But even though I make sure to come out on top every time, I give him the satisfaction of getting some hits and some promise of winning. Even though he never does, and frankfully never will. He is good, but not that good.
But his persistence is amusing. I like that in him. His strong spirit that never gives up. No matter how hopeless a situation can seem. He always has hope. He's very inspiring. But for me to say that is kind of weird. Not to mention contradicting. The boy has spirit. I have to give him that.
And in his never ending journey to be the perfect superhero, he is also very fit. Adding to his handsomeness. He is very sleek, yet very strong. His toned muscles hidden by his smaller thin frame. He really should eat more. Always locking himself in his room researching, eating like the frail bird he is, trying to be perfect and getting nowhere. But not to me. We really are a lot alike.
What a beautiful body though. What I would do to run my hands over every inch of his lithe, little body. Feeling every little part of him down to every...um, well that's just me. I have my own secret desires for this boy as well. Sick? Probably.
And the cameras all around the Titans Tower don't really help either. Yes, I have cameras, all throughout their little house. Especially in all the places Robin would be in. You name a place, I got a freaking camera in there. Kitchen, living room, training room,...Robin's room,...bathroom... Technology is a wonderful thing. And me having all the latest gadgets. You don't kill for nothing you know.
I'm starting to think I'm losing my edge because of this boy. I won't say 'I'm falling head over heels...' Slade doesn't do that. But I really might actually...love him. And I don't really know love to well thanks to my...experiences. But this just as well might be it. I've always had an odd obsession over him that I couldn't quite put my finger on until now.
I love him.
And I've lost myself in this mere boy. In the desire and want for him. And I could tell he wants me too. All the subtle hints and clues that he wants me to pick up on, and all of the ones I leave for him to unravel. He's smart enough to figure it out. It's just a matter of time until he's mine.
As a matter of fact, I'm watching him right now. Through one of my cameras of course, but I can see everything as if I was there. All broadcasted to me as clear as a television show. My favorite show; The Robin Network. This way, I can really see what my little bird does in his spare time, when he's not playing the hero. And see how he goes with his life and be able to watch him all the time. It is very amusing.
Right now he's brushing his teeth right before bed. I know his routines by now from watching him for so long. Pretty little hygienic birdie. Always fighting crime, but never forgets his hygiene. Cute. I'm sure. I watch him as always as his exits the bathroom and enters his own plain room. And gets changed into his pajamas. A surprise. The boy sleeps in his uniform so much it's surprising he changes. Maybe it's because tomorrow is Sunday, and there's not as much crime on Sundays? ...Who cares anyway?
I continue watching throughly as he changes. Damn, he didn't remove his boxers, but I still caught a glimpse of the pale muscled skin on his chest and arms. Very pretty boy indeed. Robin pulled on a loose pair of plaid pajama pants and a pajama top to match. Always orderly, Robin. Surprisingly, he's not doing research to the wee hours of the morning tonight before bed. Usually he stays on his little logo laptop and does who knows what on there until about 3:00 in the morning. And then, he gets up very early anyway. Sometimes I think the boy is an insomniac just like me. I often see him pacing his room, and waking up startled and sweating in the middle of the night and not going back to sleep. Sometimes not sleeping at all. I do believe he often has nightmares. Same with me, that's one of the reasons I don't like to sleep. I think Robin feels the same.
I watch as he throws himself on the normal, rectangular bed with red sheets. Only Robin. He doesn't even bother to move the blankets. He just flops down face up on the bed, his head resting on the pillow. He must be thinking about something. Otherwise, he would be working. Small hands find their way behind his head, raven black hair somewhat messy and scattered from fighting his days' work. Not as neat as it usually looks. Some of it falling over the sides of his face. He continued to stare intently at the ceiling. Still wearing that accused mask. He never took it off. I've never seen the boys eyes. Although I really want to. Sure, I could easily look up his real name on the internet and surely I would find a certain ID picture or something to see his eyes. But no. I'd much rather wait until the little bird takes it off for me. In front of me.
Submission. That's what I want Robin to do, submit to me. I do so love being the dominant one. All he has to do is admit it, and let the dominant male tame him. Pretty bird.
Watching the boy continue to stare upwards, I see the faintest flutter of eyes behind the mask. Robin emits a very small noise that I almost didn't hear. Even that is beautiful. I smile behind my mask. I do wonder what he is thinking about.
I smile widely as the boy moans ever so softly. Then says something that only someone with my hearing could hear. It actually sent shivers down my spine.
Robin said quietly, half whispering, half sighing. I shudder silently, hearing my name on the boy's beautiful lips is enough to make me shiver. So the little bird is thinking of me, very amusing, very amusing indeed. I get chills as I see something else, yes the boy can actually do this to me, there is a slight bulge growing in the youth's pants. Not as clear compared to when he is still wearing his spandex, but I noticed it with much delight. It appears my little bird is going to put on another show for me tonight. I smirk devilishly. I love this part. I've seen the boy relieve himself with my name on his lips a few times. Which is one of the reasons I know he wants me like I want him.
I lean in closer for a better look of the wide screen. I lean my chin on my closed hands. Then I hear my bird chirp again, in a low moan, seeing as his right hand drifts across his chest lightly, almost subconsciously. It wavers along his strong chest for a few seconds, weaving light patterns across his front. Then, his small hand headed southward, ever so slowly, too slowly for my liking, leaving small brushes and touches everywhere in its wake. could see the skin on his arms prick with goose bumps. He headed lower, reaching the hem of his pajama pants, where his shirt was slightly pushed upward, so you could also see the top of his black boxers under his pants. And some of that chiseled stomach, but that was it. I want to see more.
Robin runs his soft fingertips knowingly across his lower navel, right above the hem, knowing it would make him shudder with sensation. And it did. Beautiful shivers tremor throughout the boy. Very pretty.
I lick my lips as I see him touch his growing self through the light material of his plaid pajama bottoms. Making the youngling moan softly again. Actually making me emit a small noise, half strangled trying to silence myself in failed attempts. Even though there is never anyone around, I still have more dignity than that. Even knowing I was bound to lose myself in the boy.
The young male's feet, were heeled at the bed, leaning, knees slightly bent, hips at the ready. His arousal, already turned on by his previous actions, now poking deviously at his pants. The more he touched the source of the fire, the more it fed the burning flames. He teased it with his fingers making it grow slightly harder and longer. I watch the seducing scene with eagerness. I myself am getting turned on by this. I feel myself growing uncomfortable in the nether regions by the tightness of my uniform. Watching my little boy like this just make me want him even more. And it makes me want release, as well as he does,...badly.
Getting bored with not feeling his own flesh, the boy goes down and gently cups himself, being careful with his sensitive area. Eyes are closed behind his mask, and he opens his delegate mouth and gasps slightly, letting out a groan afterwards. One of his frail hands slips back up to then travel beneath his pants and boxers, feeling himself fully. Sorrowfully, I don't get view of the encounter, which annoys the hell out of me, but I am too turned on to care.
The younger tilts his head back and a squeak escapes subtle lips. I feel my hand start to move seemingly on its own downward to tease at my own growing erection from beneath my garments. This is too much to bare without. What I can make out from under the boys pants, is that he is now stroking himself slowly. Letting out these little whimpers that are literally breaking my sanity in two. I moan out loud at this. Hearing my bird whimper is enough to drive me to madness.
The bird obviously didn't have enough room between himself and his pants, because he stopped his pleasuring, frustratingly and began to pull down his pants vigorously. Trying to continue his...quest at hand. I look intensely at the scene before me. Before fully disgarding his pants, the boy shrugged off his shirt. Anxiously undoing the annoying buttons and tossing the piece of clothing to the floor. I guess he really likes to get into it...wonderful. Then, the boy made quick due of his pants, viciously pulling them off eagerly down to the bottoms of his knees. Unable to proceed any farther without relieving his engorged problem...
I watch him with very much interest as the whole body of the boy was revealed. He is beautiful. With almost sparkling eyes, even for me, I observed my bird. His proud length stood fully upright in a still boyish looking erection. I smile devilishly and let out a territorial moan, while looking at my precious bird, and started to stroke my own length through my pants as I felt it grow ridged.
Robin stroked slowly, still moaning while his left hand played across his chest. Teasing his quivering body into even more arousal. Steady hips trying hard to prevent themselves from moving. I let out another guttural moan and gripped myself as I see the boy do the same, grasping himself tightly to the point where it almost hurt, and Robin cried out. Liking the slight pain mixed with the pleasure, the boy did the same thing to his sensitive balls. Crying out again, I hear part of my name in that cry. He knows that this is what I would do to him. I watch the boy's masochistic action and grinned widely. He was a little kinky, I like that.
As he closed a fist around his eager boyhood, my hand dips low and undoes my belt, I reach in and grasp myself. Making another noise I really shouldn't make. My bird chirps again as he moves his small hand painfully slowly up and down his smaller length. Still just a child in Slade's mind, but he was so goddamn pretty.
Teasingly slowly, Robin continues to pump himself, making these small mewls and whines. It is truly a beautiful sight. I stroke myself a bit faster. It's getting a bit hot in here. The boy pants heavily as he increases his speed, eager to satisfy his growing desire. He tries to hold in sounds he's destined to make eventually. He cries out my name again as he strokes the underside of his length. He traces the head and continues to fist himself, spreading his legs even wider. It's like a fucking invitation I swear. It's like he's screaming 'fuck me, Slade!' Goddam it, I told you this was going to drive me insane.
A few moans and whimpers escape him. Damn I want to have my bird. My very interesting and very pretty birdie. I want to take him so badly that my self-control is reducing itself to nothing here before me. And I could do nothing to stop it. Jesus, Robin. How the fuck are you doing this to me! And you're not even trying!
The boy cries out again, hips unable to control themselves as they buck up and down. Male instincts to the young boy take over as he thrusts willingly into his hand. He grits his teeth and pulls back his lips in almost a snarl. I almost give into a chuckle. Watching the boy grow and develop in sexual awareness and maturity was very interesting indeed. He increases his pace, I could tell he's coming close. Just by his noises and is fast pace. I continue at my own arousal faster, matching Robin's pumps.
But as soon as it's begun, it's over. As the little bird has little experience and little sexual endurance. He whimpers unconherently and bucks hard one last time and comes all over his fist and stomach. My name screamed by those pretty lips. Luckily the Titans' rooms could be sound-proofed. I hear something else escape my mouth as I watch my bird come. Almost against my own will.
Mine. My bird . My boy. My Robin. Mine.
I'm a little possessive. But I'm only claiming what's mine. And one day I will have my little one. I will take him and complete his little boyish world, with overwhelming pleasure. But I must wait. I must have patience. I will have him. Very soon. But until then, I'll continue to watch him. But I will have him very soon. I know, possessive.
I watch as he settles down a bit panting vigorously. Whimpering his last woes as the pleasure washes over him. Such a beautiful state he is in. Dizzy, pleasure-filled. A work of art. His hand lets go of his now limp boyhood and absent-mindedly weaves a finger through the puddle of his own seed on
his chest. And then decides to taste himself. I just barely held back a moan of my own accord.
He soon falls out of his state of peace and sits up. Not wanting to leave his pleasure-filled realm. But he has work to do outside of those walls. So he gets up, and starts cleaning up after himself, trying to hide the evidence as if none of this ever happened. But I know better. I know a side of him that no one else knows.
I decide to retire early tonight, leaving my screen and getting up to retreat to my quarters. I still have a little...something that I have to take care of. Something Robin caused. Yes, I'm still hard, and I'm going to relieve myself, in thoughts of my prize. I shut the door behind me in my bedroom.
I love him. No matter how wrong that is. I love the boy, and nothing is going to stop me from getting my bird.
I hope everyone enjoyed this. I'm a major Slade/Robin fan. Please review if you liked! See ya all real soon. Later.