As The Snow Falls

By Seniya

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The ghosts of my past paint a sorrowful lullaby upon the canvas of my memories. I call to them, begging for them to stay with me. To let me hold them in my frail hands, to please just let me remember—but they mock me; and then they slip away.

When they leave I know what they take from me. They take him--his voice, his smell; his kisses. They're all gone. I can never touch them, never to remember.

Never again.

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The snow falls upon the hardened ground, and across my face a cold wind blows. The weather mirrors the sensations within this castle; within him.

His absence doesn't frighten me, for I know that he is coming.

And so I wait. I wait while watching the flakes make their everlasting journey towards their fallen siblings, and then join them in their perfected demise.

Why am I here?

Here, cold within the darkness of the night and the palace. I should be home; with my friends, my family. But no, instead, I stand, waiting.

Because he had asked me to.

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He joins me soon after, interrupting my train of thought. Although, he still doesn't persuade my eyes to leave the sight of the snow before me.

Because I'm afraid of what his eyes would do to me. They can, and will melt my resolve into nothingness.

"You came" he whispers, but still I hear it, and I can feel its meaning grasp my chest.

I don't respond. I can't, and I'm glad he knows not to expect an answer. We have an understanding, unspoken of course; he knows why I'm here.

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His hands glide across my frozen flesh, igniting warmth inside my soul. They stir a feeling that I am not used to, but it is one that I crave. It slowly makes its way throughout my nerves, thrilling me to my core.

It's too late. I didn't even have to look this time, I'm already gone, and he has won.

And I'm too far gone to give a damn.

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His lips lure mine into a kiss and I willingly respond to his hunger. Only wishing to satisfy my only selfish desires now, I moan when he smiles against my mouth, and then shamelessly try to pull him closer. I can't let this end.

He seems surprised by my zeal tonight. I am not usually so submissive.

I should…stop.

Something reminds me, and I know its right…but now…his fingers trail the curves of my face so tenderly, and his name cascades over the mountains of my lips.

I manage to pull away; breathlessly, I search his face, and fall into the soulless pits that are his eyes, and it is there that I stay, entranced by all that he allows me to see.

He calls my name; and brushes a lock of fire away from my eyes. Again I edge closer, desperate to be near his warmth.

He notices my impatience, and again, he smiles at me. Even that, isn't what I'm used to; his smiles chill me to the bone, although they do nothing to quell the longing raging inside of me.

"What will you do little girl?" he says in a husky tone. "What will you say when they ask you"

"They won't ask me" my eyelids flutter shut, and I submit myself to him. "They won't care"

"You're right" he drifts closer, complying with my request. 'That is why you're here…isn't it"

"No" I murmur, "I'm here because you asked me to come"

"Yes, I did, little one" his own voice has become breathless; it is now scarcely a rumble over the cold winds.

I trail a hand lazily along his chest. Slowly I reach on my tiptoes to kiss his jaw line.

I can return his smile now; because I too share in his victory. He needs me just as much as I need him, he called me; and I answered.

He needs this as well.

I can feel him tense up at seeing my change in expression. It is so rare that anyone sees anything past my stoic façade. It bothers him, my new found arrogance; and he makes a move to respond. But I silence him with yet another kiss.

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Phobos kisses back, as I knew he would, those kisses are deep and demanding and I feel myself crumble at the pressure.

My hands grasp behind his neck. I relish in these sensations, as intense as they are, I still crave for more, so much more.

His entire body is hard, and still I inch closer to his heady embrace, there is only one thing will satisfy me now, only one final dance can.

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My back is pressed against the wall now, I feel him dragging me against the stones; pulling me closer to him, and I can feel his heart, thudding erratically inside of him. It mimics my own. And for a moment I suspect that we are not so different after all.

I groan once more, urging him to hurry; I will soon have to leave, and I won't know when I'll be able to savor him again.

He seems oblivious to my impending departure. Perhaps he simply doesn't see the need to be bothered; he wouldn't be the first to share these sentiments…he won't be the last.

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My lust for him has somehow increased now, the thought of him, laughing, disgusts me. My kisses intensify, and he matches me stroke for stroke.

Now, now we are even.

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Somehow I find myself, lying on his sheets, undressed. Still wanting more, as he comes closer he licks my neck, pausing at my collarbone; the snow comes into the room.

The window is still open.

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All clarity has gone to hell; I suspect that I shall be joining it there soon enough. When he looms over me, for once I can't read the expression in his eyes.

They too are different.

So utterly unguarded, it's the first time that I can see myself swimming there in those icy blue depths.

Emotions run untamed there, although all of them; unimaginably seem directed towards me.

I don't understand.

He has given this to me-- all of him.

He's mine.

………………………………………………

I've won.

But…this isn't about victories anymore is it? No, it's about something more…much, much more.

………………………………………………

He touches me, my nakedness, and I lean towards his embraces. I feel my own guard slipping, peeling from my face. His eyes change again, witness to my sweet surrender.

Nothing is spoken; nothing needs to be.

I understand it all now…hope.

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I have lost myself within his body, we are one now. Two lost souls; indifferent to the cold around us, only concentrating on the pleasure we can offer one another.

I see myself within him, and I pray he can see me.

Slowly, the sensations leave me, and we are left separated, once again.

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"Nothing will change my child" he says to me. I nod, showing him that I understand.

"I should go back…home" I reply ineptly. Again he reaches across to touch my freezing skin, he hold another stray piece of the crimson colored hair.

He smiles again, though now, it doesn't disturb me as much.

He speaks to me, this time in Latin…a spell.

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I feel tonight's events slip away. I know that I'll forget, somehow I always do. Tomorrow I shall awaken, ignorant to my knowledge. And then I'll wait, for someway I always know that I am meant to; for him to call me to his chambers.

And of course, I shall go.

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As outside; the snow will fall.

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FIN

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Author: Happy Holidays to all. Deck the halls and all of that. Here's a Will/Phobos ficcy to keep you warm over the season. I know what you're saying—MORE sex. But the way I see it, Will/Phobos is like Draco/Hermione. No good unless they have sex. They are good fics without the sex…but I am untalented in that region.

Dedicated: To all the faithful reviewers of Tears I Cry; which it doesn't look like I'll get to update until New Years (Chinese or otherwise) so I hope that this will do.

Disclaimer: I disclaim.