Mind Games: Redux
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible.
Author's note: This story is based around the episode "Mind Games." Make sure you are familiar with that episode before reading, or this story will likely not make much sense to you. Thank you.
Special thanks to TheSteelAngel for inspiring much of this fic.
"Hey, cheer up, KP, it's really not that bad!"
"How is this NOT the biggest disaster to hit my life since…since ever?.!"
Ron shrugged Kim's shoulders. "So we got mind-swapped. Big deal."
Rufus chattered enthusiastically from atop Ron's head, which was actually Kim's head.
Kim buried her face in her hands – or rather, Ron's face and Ron's hands. "Regional Cheer Finals is going to crash and burn if I'm not there to do the routine!"
"You will be!" Ron said, pointing at himself.
Kim stared at her best friend…which was now like looking in a mirror. "Ron, Regionals is tomorrow. You don't seriously think you can learn my ENTIRE routine in less than a day, do you?
"Pfft…how hard could it be? Besides…" Ron added, grinning ear to ear, "I'll finally be able to explore the final frontier! The glorious holy land that even the greatest of men could only DREAM of exploring!"
"You're not going into the girl's locker room, Ron."
Ron deflated, a mass of red hair obscuring his face. "Aww…spoil my fun, whydoncha…"
It was just after the mission that had changed everything. The two lifelong friends were walking back to the Possible house, and every step of the way Ron was annoyingly optimistic about the whole scenario. Thanks to Doctor Drakken's machine, they'd switched brains, and Kim shuddered to think about how long they'd be stuck that way. Ron, however, seemed to enjoy the prospect of finally being as popular as Kim was.
"Okay, Ron, let's get a few things straight," Kim began. "I'd like to keep as few people in the loop on this as possible. You, me, Wade, and MAYBE my parents, if they can figure out a way to help us. NO ONE ELSE. Got it?"
"You forgot Rufus," Ron said, pointing at the animal on his head.
"WHATEVER!" Kim shouted. "Second, we do NOT act differently in any way. That means you don't do ANYTHING that I wouldn't do."
"Okay. Does that about cover the important stuff?"
Ron thought about that for a moment. "What's the policy on pounding the twins?"
Kim rolled her eyes. "You've got free reign on that one. The tweebs are annoying enough that anything you do as me can be written off as a short temper day." Kim stopped in front of her house. "I'll meet you back here in an hour after I grab a change of clothes."
Ron started to nod along and she turned to leave, but he froze in horror a second later. "KP, WAIT! WAIT WAIT WAIT!"
Kim spun around. "What now?" she sighed.
"D-Did you say change of c-clothes?" he stammered, his face slowly losing color.
"Yeah, so? You probably should too. These mission outfits aren't exactly fashion friendly."
Ron's face paled further. "Ch-change…c-clothes."
Kim raised an eyebrow.
"As in…taking THESE clothes OFF."
And then Kim finally got it. Her eyes bulged like saucers, and quite the opposite of Ron, her cheeks filled with a rush of pink. "Uh-oh…"
"BIG UH-OH!" Ron wailed.
"Okay, strike that, no clothing changes!" Kim said in a rush.
"But Kim, we might be stuck like this for a while! What about Regionals?.! I can't….I mean, YOU can't go out there dressed like this!"
Kim slapped a hand over her – Ron's – face. "Ohhh…you're right…"
"Oh man, and what about showering?.!" Ron blurted out, almost hysterical.
Kim was now beet red. "Okay, okay, Ron, we have to calm down and…a-and figure out a way to be civil and mature about this!"
Ron took a few deep breaths. "Okay…okay…calm…civil…mature…" he said between breaths.
"All right," Kim started. "Obviously, some…nakedness…can't be avoided. So how do we deal with it?"
"Yes, Ron, because trying to get dressed blind is so much fun," Kim growled sarcastically. "Look, as much as I don't like it, we can't really avoid…seeing things. Especially if we're stuck like this for a while."
Ron thought about that for a moment. "Okay, okay, how about this? We go with the museum policy. 'Look, don't touch.'"
"Somehow I get the feeling I'm more likely to follow that policy than you."
"What, you don't trust me?"
"I don't trust ANY teenage male who suddenly finds himself in a female body."
"How many males like that have you actually met?"
"I was being rhetorical!" Kim snapped. She pulled at her hair – or Ron's hair, she corrected herself. "All right, we'll have to deal with seeing, but just…don't…touch anything, okay?"
"All right. I can do this…" Ron murmured. He turned and walked into Kim's house, gave his friend a nervous wave, and shut the door behind him.
Kim sighed. Great, she thought to herself. This is NOT how I pictured seeing each other naked for the first time.
…Wait…when was I EVER picturing seeing each other naked?
Kim shook her head. "I think having a guy's body is starting to get to me…"
Ron stared at his enemy. It was just lying there, motionless, but Ron knew it was just plotting its evil.
Taunting him with its lacey frills and elastic straps and faint pink color.
It was the most frightening adversary he'd ever faced.
"I SO cannot do this," Ron said aloud.
Rufus gave an encouraging chatter from atop Kim's dresser.
"Rufus, you don't understand! This thing, here, this…garment…is the most HATED enemy of males across the country! So deceptively simple…and yet so horribly complex!"
Rufus raised an eyebrow at him and squeaked a question.
"You're right, Rufus! I can't give up! Have at you, villain!"
Ron snatched the garment and struggled valiantly with it for a handful of moments, but for the life of him he couldn't hook it in the back. A second later the straps slipped from his grasp and smacked against his bare skin.
"AH! It bit me!" Ron cried, hurling the bra across the room. "It's evil! EVIL!"
Rufus chattered again.
"No, Rufus, I am NOT overreacting!" Ron growled. "Man…how does Kim DO this?"
He glanced aside and saw his reflection in the mirror…which was really Kim's reflection. For a brief moment, he couldn't help but admire her figure…
Dutifully he turned away a split second later. "We're not staring at Kim naked, we're not staring at Kim naked," he chanted to himself. He snatched the bra from the floor again. "Okay…round two, you sorry excuse for underwear! HAH!"
Ron has it WAY too easy.
Kim checked herself in front of Ron's mirror, dressed in her friend's usual outfit of red shirt and beige slacks. And it had taken her all of two minutes to do it.
No bras to fiddle with, no mass of hair to comb to perfection…he doesn't even have to sit down to go to the bathroom half the time. Maybe this won't be so bad, she thought.
A pause. She glanced down.
I wonder if Ron always looks like that……
……nah, it's probably just cold.
Kim snatched Ron's phone from the desk with one hand and a can of soda sitting there with the other. "Hello?"
"Hey Kim, I have a question," Ron's forced-calm voice came over the phone.
"What's that?" she said, taking a sip.
"HOW CAN YOU STAND HAVING BREASTS?.!"
Kim gagged, almost choking on the mouthful of soda and spraying it all across Ron's desk and pants. "EXCUSE ME?.!"
"They HURT when they move! And this…bra thing is trying to kill me, I swear!"
Kim rolled her eyes as she dug through Ron's drawers for a new pair of pants. "That would require the bra to be a sentient creature, Ron."
"Why do girls' wardrobes have to be so complicated? Guys are like, 'tuck, zip, you're done.'"
"Believe me, I noticed."
"C'mon, even you have to admit it's a pain! Wouldn't you rather only have to take like two minutes to get ready in the morning?"
"If I didn't care what I looked like, maybe," Kim shot back sarcastically.
"And then you don't even have to sit down to use the--HEY! For your information I've spent YEARS carefully perfecting my 'look!'"
Kim sighed and muttered to herself, "I know this is all a dream. Any second now, I'm going to wake up, and I'm going to be me."
"Aww, cheer up, KP, it's not that bad. At least I finally got this bra figured out…"
"Not that bad?.! I had to look at you naked!"
"What, am I that ugly? Gee, thanks Kim, that makes me feel so much better about myself."
"Ron, that-" Kim started, then stopped herself and sighed again, fumbling with the fresh pair of pants. "I'm sorry, Ron, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant it's…I don't know…WEIRD."
"C'mon, KP, we've been best buds since pre-K, remember? It was gonna happen sooner or later. Murphy's Law. Unless you planned on not showering or something the whole time we were like this. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, actually."
"That's not the point, Ron, I just don't--wait…"
"…how long have you thinking about me naked?.!"
Ron's eyes bugged out. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, I SWEAR!" he wailed, waving his free arm frantically.
"It better not be!"
"I'm just saying, y'know, with how long we've known each other, it was gonna happen sooner or later. We might as well just deal with it."
Ron heard Kim make a sound somewhere between a growl and a sigh of frustration, and Ron couldn't help but feel bad for her. Maybe this was bothering her worse than he realized.
He turned to the mirror again and caught his friend's image reflected there once more. He'd managed to at last the get the bra on and throw a shirt on over it, so he no longer shied away from looking. There was something about her…maybe it was her hair, or her eyes, or her perfect smile, or some combination of all of the above…but he couldn't help but admire her.
"What, Ron?" she growled back.
Oh, yeah. This was bothering her more than he thought.
"I…um…you…that is…" Ron stammered slowly, trying to find the right words. "…You really…look nice."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Then, "Please…PLEASE tell me I'm dressed, Ron."
"I'm being serious, KP!" Ron said back. "I never just...sat at looked at you...until I started looking in the mirror and seeing...well, YOU. And, well…you really are…y'know…pretty."
Another pause, longer this time.
Ron couldn't stop the blush that crept into his cheeks, but he was distracted a second later when Kim shrieked in pain. "KP?.! What happened?.! Are you okay?.!"
"Z…ip…per…" she murmured into the phone.
Ron scrunched up in sympathy. "Ooooohh…that's gonna sting when I get back in there…"
Ron shrugged his shoulders and tugged at the straps of the bra, trying to shift them into a more comfortable position. "Yeah, well, if you'll remember, KP, your chick clothes aren't exactly ideal, either--"
"Oh, now what?" Kim demanded.
"Elastic snapback," Ron muttered.
"Ron, will you stop stretching out my underwear?"
"Oh what's the big deal?" Ron said. "You had like a dozen of them in your drawer. Oh, and by the way, PLEASE tell me you never wore the teeny pink one."
"UURGH! All right, that's it, I'm coming over, and you BETTER be dressed by the time I get there!"
There was a slamming sound, and the line went dead.
As promised, hardly five minutes later Ron heard the front door open and shut, and impatient footsteps on the stairs. Ron turned to the door and saw…himself. Kim, in his body, was glaring at him.
Ron shrunk away from her. "I did something wrong again, didn't I?"
"Do you know ANYTHING about matching?" Kim demanded.
"Uh, hello! Male, here! No fashion sense!"
Kim jerked a thumb toward him. "Off."
"…Are you coming on to me?"
"…Yes, Ron, I'm coming on to my own body."
"That exactly what you--wait, what…?"
"Just take the clothes off, Ron. Like I care if I see myself naked."
"The point stands that I, Ron, would be standing here naked in front of you, Kim, which is VERY AWKWARD FOR RON!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, just…close your eyes or something."
Ron sighed, but closed his eyes and began to shed the outfit, while Kim removed a plain black bra and panties from her dresser. She thrust them into Ron's hands. "Let's start with these."
Ron peeked one eye open. "Eww, black? So not you."
Kim glared again.
"I'm just saying!" Ron defended himself. "You always go for…I dunno, brighter colors!"
"Reality check, Ron!" she said, gesturing at her mostly black mission outfit he had removed in the first place.
"That's different!" Ron said dismissively. "This is normal life we're talking about, KP! You wouldn't be caught dead in that thing at school if you could help it!" Ron froze, shocked at himself. "Whoa…maybe I DO have some fashion sense…"
"Funny thing about underwear, Ron," Kim said sarcastically. "It goes UNDER the clothes. As in NOT VISIBLE."
"Well, maybe if you wear dark colors over it! Black would show straight through anything light!"
"Will you stop being difficult?.!" she snapped. She yanked Ron down into her lap, took the bra from his hands, and started to put it on him.
"What does this bra thing DO, anyway?" Ron muttered.
"Lifts, supports, and separates."
Ron stared blankly for a moment. "……Yeeeeeeeaaaaahh, I was better off not knowing that."
Suddenly his eyes bugged out when he heard footsteps approaching, and the sound of someone knocking on Kim's door. He sprang up, leaving Kim holding the bra still, and leapt topless into the closet.
"I'm not here!" he hissed, shutting the door.
"Ron, what-" Kim started to whisper back, but the door opened before she could finish, and her father was standing in the doorway.
Act like Ron, act like Ron, Kim thought to herself. "Uhh…hey there, Doctor P!" she said, forcing her voice lower.
"Oh, hi there, Ronald. I thought I heard Kimmykins in here with you…?"
"O-oh, Kim? She, ah…she just…uh…stepped out of the bath! She'll be out any second!"
Doctor Possible suddenly glared at her. "Ronald…that better not be what I think it is!"
Kim glanced down and saw he was still clutching "Kim's" bra.
Her face flushed. "O-oh, th-this? No! No, of c-course not! It's a…a…a science project?"
Doctor Possible kept glaring.
Kim sighed. Now was as good a time as any, she supposed. "Okay, okay," she said, letting her voice go back to normal. "Daddy, it's me, Kim."
Doctor Possible raised an eyebrow. "Kimmie?"
"Yeah, daddy. Long story short, Drakken has a mind-swap machine, and Ron and I got caught in it. So…I'm here in Ron's body, and he's in mine."
Right on cue Ron climbed out of the closet again – and amazingly had the sense of mind to put a shirt on while he was in there. "Um…heh…hey there, Doctor P…"
Doctor Possible stopped glaring, but the look that came to his face was no less confused. "Okay," he said, "And I suppose you can also explain why your friend Drakken showed up at our door speaking with a southern accent?"
"He did?.!" Kim said, surprised but pleased. "Great, Dobbs made it! He can help us figure out how to find Drakken!"
"Don't worry, dad, I'll explain everything at dinner, just set an extra place for Dra-- er, Dobbs."
And before her father could protest she ushered him out the door and shut it.
"Y'know, the whole bare midriff look isn't half bad," Ron commented, looking at the shirt he'd chosen, Kim's usual green tank top.
"Not the time, Ron," Kim muttered. She hastened to help Ron finish dressing – challenge of the bra and all – and before long Kim had gotten him into her usual clothes.
"Okay. I think we're ready," Kim said. "Dinner's in about ten minutes. Now once we get down there, I don't want to hear you complaining about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that could even begin to be considered embarrassing for me, got it?"
"C'mon, KP, you know me-"
"Exactly," Kim cut him off. "And you are a habitual whiner."
"I am not!" he whined.
"SEE?.!" Kim said. "Now promise me! No whining! No complaining! And NO EMBARRASING ME!"
"Okay, okay! I promise!"
"Good! Now let's go eat dinner in peace, okay?"
So the two headed out of the room and downstairs toward the dining room. And Ron kept his promise.
For about two minutes.
Then his period started.