-1Chapter 6 - Agrabah ( Desert Sluts)
AC: Due to lack of muse to write, I haven't been keeping up with my writing, so I am pulling an all nighter till this chapter is up. I am skipping a few minor worlds because I couldn't brainstorm enough ideas to put a nice chapter for them… so here is the next chapter. Oh, by the way, It wouldn't be a "True" version if I didn't make fun of EVERYTHING!
DC: Kingdom Hearts is not owned by me and is respectively owned by Square Enix and Disney.
It has seemed like an eternity since the last world that the trio of unlikely heroes had visited. Thanks to some new technology that Cid had installed during their last visit to Traverse Town, the ship was able to surpass a formal force hindering unable to pass till now. Though, as confused as Sora was, more than ever, he still sat back and relaxed as the simple Gummi ship swayed through space.
"There sure are a lot of pieces of crap in space. I mean… honestly… how many loops, squares, and gummi pieces can be in space?" Sora was astonished by the load of useless pieces they had collected along the way to their next stop. Donald only gave a low shrug and continued to navigate to the next world.
"Hyuck, that there circle is really brown. Looks like a cookie. Donald… do uh cookies and beer mix well?"
"How should I know, you drunken buffoon!" Donald slapped Goofy away from the wheel as they were about to embark on another journey.
"Jasmine, hang on!"
"I don't know if I can anymore!"
"I'm coming, Jasmine, just hang on!"
"And cut! Beautiful guys, excellent." A rather large, bearded man got up from his chair as he yelled out for the cameras to stop rolling. He approached the nude couple just after the dark toned actor's climatic finish. The very curved actress quickly grabbed her clothes and walked in to the nearest room. He raises his hand and points to a door on one of the upper levels.
"Ok, Aladdin, this is when the, quote; end quote, bad guy steps out. You're gonna yell out, 'Jafar!' Then he'll nab the princess and you'll have to chase after her!
"I've seen this movie." Sora walked in front of the director as he was giving orders. "I've seen this movie! it's the Desert Slut series!" Donald quickly tugged at Sora's legs and brought him down.
"Care to explain how a 13 year old boy with a key blade has the knowledge of this series?" Donald crossed his wings and looked up at Sora very carefully.
"Kairi is a big fan of this series, she makes me watch." Sora nervously chuckled as he explained.
"I can assure you all, this is no movie anymore!" A tall, dark, and hideously ugly man appeared holding a golden lamp. "I finally found the lamp! And now I shall be taking the 'princess!' GENIE!" As the tall, and ugly man raised his arms, he rubbed the lamp furiously as pink and purple smoke began to escape the stout of the lamp.
"Jafar! What are you doing!" The actor planning Aladdin stepped up from his post and yelled out.
"No-no-no, Aladdin, if I told you all my plans, I wouldn't be very good at my job!" Finally, the smoke cleared out and a blue genie appeared, wearing short shorts, and an open button collar shirt.
"So, you summoned me, Master?" The Genie began to speak in a very loose and high pitched voice. His hand stuck out in front of him, and the other was placed firmly against his hip. He wore a earring on his left ear, and had clean plucked eyebrows. "I have a lot of stuff to do today, so let's make this quick."
"… He's gay?" Donald beak nearly dropped to his knees, as Sora's did when he heard the Genie speak out again. Goofy… well Goofy's passed out drunk again.
"Genie, grant me my first wish, I wish that I was lead actor of the Desert Slut series!" Aladdin began to run towards Jafar.
"Jafar, no! That's my lead!" Jafar began to laugh maniacally.
"You got it boss!" With two snaps of his fingers, sparks began to fly and spread out.
"Princess Jasmine, I don't know why you try to give hope to that poor Street Rat, when you have me all to yourself."
"Oh Jafar, you make it sound so good, but the Street Rat has a bigger dick than you do."
"Not for long."
The doors swing wide open, Aladdin, Donald, Goofy, and Sora burst through the doors and start running towards Jafar and his lamp.
"Hand it over, Jafar." Aladdin jumped, followed by the trio of heroes.
"I don't think so, Street RAT! Genie, I wish to be an all powerful Sorcerer!"
"You got it, boss!" With two shakes of his ass, and a snap to the left and to the right, sparks fill the room. Aladdin and the others remained airborne as Jafar used his magic to hold them up. He grabs Jasmine by the arm and brings her to him.
"Jasmine, what do you want me to do with the trash?"
"Take it out!"
Jafar waved his hand slowly, causing the heroes to disappear from the room and appear in a large pile of trash.
"That Jafar! He has my woman!" Aladdin tried to get up, but the trash underneath him kept shifting, causing him to fall over and over again.
Sora struggled to get up, as well as Donald and Goofy.
"What are you going to do, Aladdin?" Sora looked over to the worn-out porn star as he lifted himself from off the ground.
"I'm going to go back and set things right!" Aladdin stood up with a clear and confident pose.
"I just hope Jafar doesn't get to Jasmine's 'keyhole' before you do…" Donald stood there in speculation of the innuendo….
A/N: Yes - another two parter. Stay tuned for chapter seven, "Desert Sluts - the Return of the Trash."