Disclaimer: I don't own MASH, its characters or concepts... If I did, there'd have been another wedding in GFA.
Author's notes: While the two are not mutually exclusive stories, "Dear Son" ties into my other MASH story "Maggie-Beth" to explain how Margaret knows about Hawkeye's parents' wedding rings. As for a time-reference, this would take place after "Dear Dad".
By J.T. Magnus, "Turbo"
Corporal 'Radar' O'Reilly knocked on the door of the Swamp before entering.
Across the tent, Trapper John MacIntyre muttered, "Unless it's an Un-draft notice, lay it on my footlocker."
Near the door, Hawkeye Pierce stirred, then stretched out a hand for his before sitting up to begin reading.
Before I say anything else, after reading your last letter I enclosed mine and your mother's wedding rings in this one. You may not realize that you'll need them yet, but that way when you do and you want them, they're already there.
Three days is a long time, but it's better to spend three days fixing kids than three minutes taking them apart, Ben.
'Lipstick and earrings and trying for a discharge', you mean your own Section 8? You and a thousand other men over there. Speaking of men bucking for a Section 8, how's your Corporal Klinger doing on trying for his own? Has he come up with anything new lately?
Believe me, Ben; jokes in an operating room are no more sacrilegous than jokes on a battlefield. It's sometimes the only way to keep from losing your mind. ...Not that you have a mind to lose, Ben. I hope you're thinking about something a nurse told you about her hometown, because last time I checked, Crabapple Cove was in Maine, not Vermont.
How far had he gotten? I think you had said something about seats. If there's ever a chance, I want to meet him... and see that jeep...
About that cup of coffee, if it's anything like I remember, I'll pass. I'm thirsty, son, not hungry, and I don't feel like chewing it.
Your CO's lectures can't be as bad as you claim. I'm sure of that since if they were, I have no doubt you'd take over... probably using yourself and a nurse to demonstrate. Yes, I know, you inherited your dirty mind from me. But like I've said before, 'dirty mind, warm heart.'
If you ever figure out how to salute your head nurse and make a move on her at the same time, I expect a letter as soon as possible is, if you can succeed after whatever you did to her. Don't deny it, you are my son, after all.
Merry Christmas, Ben. Life isn't as interesting without you here to keep things from being dull. If that sounds strange, it's because it isn't as cold when everyone's laughing - usually because of something you've done.
Take care, Captain Son-Of-Mine, that's a order from your father and a ranking officer.
Colonel Daniel Webster Pierce,
U.S. Army, Rtd.
Gingerly placing his hand in the envelope, Hawkeye withdrew a small box from inside and opened it.
"Gee, sir, are those wedding rings?"
Hawkeye nodded, "They were my parents'. It seems my dad thinks I'm going to find some lady over here that I want to settle down with."
Trapper, who had been listening commented, "He doesn't know you that well, does he?"
"He probably just wants grandkids," Hawkeye replied.
Radar laid Frank's mail on his footlocker and opened the door, "Oh, sorry Sir, I mean Ma'am, Sir."
Radar gave a hasty salute and quickly walked away.
"You don't need to be so hard on him all the time, Margaret," Hawkeye told her.
"I was LOOKING for Major Burns, Captains, but I see he isn't here," with that, she turned and marched off.
"You're lovely when you're mad!" Hawkeye called out after her, causing the Major to turn and stomp her foot before continuing.
That's when Hawkeye looked back down at the letter and raised his eyes to the sky...
P.S. I do not just want grandkids.