The Teen Titans Go To The Doctor

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything else I might make references to.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Reviewers, I got your reviews and appreciate them. Purple Wolf Girl, thanks for the suggestions. I won't be changing anything that tiny, though. (One thing I think I did use too many times is 'OK!') Southern-Rebels, I disagree with what you said about Robin. I mean, it's not like he can't feel pain. I also didn't know how to continue with Starfire's predicament without making the story too long. OddIsMyHomeboy, in the comics (the actual ones, not the ones that are based on the TV show) Beast Boy said "I hate needles," and is afraid of doctors. Also, in 'Haunted,' he said "Man, and I thought I didn't like going to the doctor."

"Mail call!" said Cyborg, one day at Titans Tower.

"Not more puppets, I hope," groaned Raven, referring of course to the unbearable night she and Starfire switched bodies.

"Nope," said Cyborg, going through the envelopes. "Fan mail, Jury Duty, your-subscription-has-expired…doctor's appointment?"

"Let me see," said Robin. He took the envelope from Cyborg and opened it. "Um…OK, we all have to get physicals," he said.

"Physicals?" inquired Starfire.

"A check-up," Robin explained. "The doctor just needs to look in your mouth, shine a light in your eyes…just examine you to make sure you're healthy." Starfire smiled contentedly at the explanation.

"When is it?" asked Beast Boy, a little nervous.

"Tomorrow," said Robin. "I guess we're all supposed to go together."

"What about Cyborg?" asked Beast Boy, trying to act more like himself again. "I mean, does he even go to a doctor or a mechanic?"

"Very funny," said Cyborg. "I don't need a check-up. I can run a virus scan on myself right here."

That night, four of the Titans slept well. Beast Boy was scared.

The next day, the Teen Titans went to the doctor.

"Hi," said Robin to the receptionist. "We're here for our physicals."

"Ah yes, the Teen Titans. You've saved our city so many times, it's the least we can do to give you free healthcare," said the receptionist.

"We're not the ones who need it…" muttered Robin under his breath. So many people out there needed free healthcare before they did.

"OK, fill out these forms and then just wait over there," said the receptionist, pointing to the chairs not too far off in the same room.

"Thanks," said Robin. The teens each settled into chairs in the waiting room, and filled out his or her individual form. When they finished, they each found some way to pass the time. Robin opened a newspaper that was on the table next to the row of chairs, Raven meditated, and Starfire was indulged in the PBS children's show that the TV in the room was tuned to.

Beast Boy kept fidgeting. He couldn't get comfortable in his seat. First he crossed his legs. Then he switched and crossed his legs the other way. Then he pulled his knees up to his chest. Then he slouched. He just couldn't sit still.

"Robin, Dr. Shaa will see you now," called the receptionist.

"OK, see you, guys." Robin went into the examination room and sat down on the table (whatever that thing's

called…the cushioned thing with paper on it!).

"How are you today, Robin?" asked the doctor, in her Indian voice.

"Fine, how are you?" Robin reciprocated out of politeness.

"I'm good. Let's check your blood pressure…" Robin relaxed as Dr. Shaa went through with her exam.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" Raven mumbled, sitting cross-legged in mid-air.

"Eh-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!" giggled Starfire, clapping her hands at the sight of Elmo singing to his goldfish

Dorthy, to the tune of Jingle Bells.

"Starfire," said Raven, opening one eye to look at her delusional friend. "That show is for three-year-olds."

"It is wonderful!" declared Starfire.

Meanwhile, back in the examination room, Robin was about to receive a shot.

"I should have known," he said, half-smiling. He winced as the cold antiseptic was rubbed onto his arm.

"…Ow…ow…ow!" he cried. Soon it was over, and Dr. Shaa put a band-aid over the tiny red dot on his arm.

"Tell your friend Starfire I'm ready for her."

"OK," said Robin, rubbing his arm.

I hope I'm not next. Beast Boy thought when he heard Robin's steel-clad shoes thumping across the carpeted floor and back to the waiting room.

"Starfire, you're next,"

"Oh, but this television program was just becoming interesting," she complained. "The Street of Sesame is fascinating!" But she reluctantly got up and left.

"Good morning, Starfire," said Dr. Shaa.

"Greetings to you as well!" said Starfire, cheerfully. And they began to examination.

Back in the waiting room, Beast Boy watched Between the Lions, desperate for SOMETHING to get his mind off being at the doctor.

"Beast Boy, how can you watch this stuff?" groaned Robin. "Here, why don't you read this Nintendo Power magazine?" Robin handed his green friend a magazine from the stack.

"No, that's OK…" sighed Beast Boy.

"Take a deep breath…exhale," said Dr. Shaa, listening to Starfire's heart with a stethoscope. "OK, good so far. Though I've never encountered anyone with a purple tongue."

"Er…it is the Zorka berries!" said Starfire. When Dr. Shaa held up the hypodermic needle, Starfire freaked out. "EEEP!" She accidentally shot star-bolts from her eyes. She missed the doctor, but ended up destroying a glaucoma poster on the wall. Dr. Shaa glanced at the smoking hole in the wall, then back at her patient. "Forgive me, I was merely frightened. What is that sharp-looking Earth tool?"

"It's for your flu shot," explained Dr. Shaa. That wasn't in the description Robin had given her.

"Flu shot! You are going to inject me with this…flu!"

"No Starfire," explained the doctor. "This will protect you from the flu. Starfire blushed awkwardly, and held out her arm.

Robin was getting sick of the remedial lessons the TV was spewing out; there weren't even any little kids in the room, but there was a note on the TV that said 'Please do not change the channel.' He sighed, whishing he could just trance out like Raven.

Soon Starfire came back. "You did not inform me that Earth doctors had such painful ways of preventing diseases!" she said.

"Well, I figured if I told you you'd have been scared," said Robin.

Well at least then I'd have someone to sympathize with me! Beast Boy thought irritably.

"Are you OK?" asked Robin.

"To be honest," said Starfire. "I feel a bit strange…perhaps I have the flu after all," She dizzily fell back into her chair.

"Nonsense," said Robin. "Don't be a hypochondriac."

"Uh…who's next?" asked Beast Boy.

"I do not know…I suppose it does not matter," said Starfire. "Ooh, I am having an ache in my head…"

"I'll go," said Raven, desperate to get away from the TV.

Raven quietly and calmly cooperated with Dr. Shaa. The exam went quickly. Too quickly for Beast Boy's liking. Raven came back almost as quickly as she'd gone!

"Your turn, Beast Boy," she said.

"Aw man," whined Beast Boy. He almost looked like he was about to cry. "Raven…would you…come with me?" he asked.

"Um…O…K?" said Raven. "Is it alright if I'm here?" asked Raven when she and Beast Boy got to the examination room.

"Sure," said Dr. Shaa. "OK Beast Boy, open up." Beast Boy opened his big, pointy-toothed mouth. "Good, good." She looked in his eyes, his ears, tested his reflex-- the same check-up the rest of the Titans had received.

"Now wait here and I'll be right back with your shot." She left. Beast Boy turned into a turtle and pulled into his shell.

"Beast Boy, come on. Shots aren't that bad," said Raven. When Beast Boy didn't come out, she used her telekinetic powers to pull his head and limbs out of his shell.

Beast Boy turned into a sparrow and tried to fly out the door, but Raven quickly used her powers to shut it.

Beast Boy then turned into a mouse, and tried to scurry under the door. This time Raven used her hands to grab him.

"Beast Boy, you can't run away from this! We're not leaving until you get your shot!"

Beast Boy turned back into himself. "B-but I hate needles!" he whined. "I can't help it! I'm just afraid!"

"Well, then just don't look at it while it's happening," suggested Raven.

"That doesn't work…" Beast Boy said, his voice cracking. His eyes started to glaze over.

Raven took his hand in hers. "It's OK," she said. "I'm here with you." She crossed her legs and began levitating, still holding Beast Boy's hand. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" she said quietly.

Soon, Beast Boy began to calm down and repeated the mantra with her. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" they said together.

Momentarily, Dr, Shaa came back. Beast Boy barely noticed as she dabbed his arm with alcohol and gave him his shot. He felt the prick of the needle and the sting of pain entering his flesh…but he handled it. Because Raven was by his side, helping him through it.

"OK, you're all done," said Dr. Shaa.


"Guys, we've got to get home," said Robin when the four all reunited with one another in the waiting room. "Starfire's having some allergic reaction to the flu shot. She's got a headache and a fever!"

"Bummer," said Beast Boy. Although he felt sorry for his friend, he was in a good mood. Robin called Cyborg on his communicator and told him to pick them up in the T-car. Soon Cyborg drove up to the doctor's office and they all got in.

"Raven," said Beast Boy. "Thanks. For helping me."

"Don't mention it," said Raven, dry as ever. She sped up her pace as she walked out to the car. Beast Boy lagged behind, grinning to himself.