You know the drill: I own nothing and no one in this story. They all belong to Snee-osh and Craig B. I just borrow then for a bit and use them.

This was one of my two Halloween story ideas I got...on Halloween. Sorry. And apologies to all, but I'm trying a more...riske approach with Helga and Arnold. Last but not least, I want to thank the three Overlords: Darth, Lord, and King for letting us all know guys can write great HA stories. Thanks guys.

Without further ado...

Tricks...and Treats

So, you know I don't write in this thing very often, just when I have absolutely nobody to tell my secrets too…come to think of it, why don't I write in this more? God knows I could use the therapy.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I mean, I'd heard about the party from random guys at school, I'd even gotten an invite. But only the most interesting girls were being invited. Stupid me thought it was one of those "exclusive parties", like Rhonda usually had.

He looked at the post card sized paper in his hand, then back at the bearer of the card.

"So, I'm invited to a Halloween party?"

"Yep, you can bring two guys. No girls, we'll be supplying those." The bearer leaned down, as if divulging a secret. "Trust me, it's going to be fun."

"Um…I'll try to make it."

"Great, see you tomorrow."

He looked at the invite again, and then threw it into his locker, promptly forgetting about it.

"Did you hear who they got to come?"

"I heard Rhonda RSVPed."

"They got Lila and Helga Pataki to agree to come to!"

"Helga Pataki? This could be the best party yet!"

Arnold looked up from his book, watching the two guys who were whispering furiously in the back of the class. He wasn't sure what they were talking about, but any party where Rhonda, Lila, and Helga were attending together was a recipe for disaster. It was true that they were the three most beautiful women in the school, but they all hated each other furiously. Rhonda, the rich highhanded ice queen bitch; Lila, the innocent looking, Lolita, manipulative bitch; and Helga, the goth wannabe, in your face, truthful bitch. All of which he got along with…relatively. All of which had told him vicious thing about the other two. This just resolved his plan not to go that that party. He was not about to get in the middle of an all out catfight.

Damn, my overextended sense of duty, because that's exactly where I went once I found out what type of party it was. Out of the three girls, the only one I know well is Helga. And I have no idea why. But I know what she's comfortable with and what she isn't. I also know she doesn't do well around other women, preferring to be in the company of guys. There are only two girls in the school she in comfortable with: Patty Smith, and Phoebe Heydrenal, her best friend since pre-school. So I had to thank Patty's ability to be unobservable and hear all the gossip, and Phoebe for being so worried abut her friend and dragging me into it.

Arnold was walking down the hall to his last class, trying to figure out what he was going to do for the weekend, when suddenly he was hit by a hundred and two pounds of hysterical Asian female.

"Arnold!" Phoebe screeched, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into a classroom. He looked around dazed; hadn't he just been in the hall minding his own business? He spotted Patty standing next to Phoebe; the calm in the storm.

"Afternoon Arnold." She said quietly. "I believe we have a problem."

"Problem?" He asked, still rubbing his chest where Phoebe had run into him. Beside him, the same teen was still clutching onto his arm, looking like someone had died.

"What kind of problem?"

"You've heard of the Halloween party that is taking place tomorrow night, right?" Patty inquired. Arnold nodded.

"You have to tell Helga not to go!" Phoebe exclaimed. Arnold looked over at her, still perplexed.

"Me? Tell Helga Pataki not to do something? Do I look suicidal? Besides Rhonda and Lila are going to be there also. I've already decided I'm not going."

"Wait? You got an invite?" Phoebe asked, stunned. Arnold nodded.

"Yeah. Got it earlier today. Already decided I wasn't going."

"Arnold, you do realize what kind of party this is, don't you?" Patty asked.

"Yeah, a Halloween party in which three girl who can't stand to be within twenty feet of each other are all going to be at. I'm not going to be a witness for that catfight. Now I hate to be rude, but I really have to get to class."

He began to walk to the door until Patty's next words stopped him dead.

"It's a pimp party, Arnold."

Now I've only heard of these kinds of parties in urban legends and a friend of a friend who stumbled upon it on accident. Guys invite hot girls to a party by promising them something. A group of selected guys are there and they girls are drugged with meth and a variation of Spanish fly. Once the drugs do their work, the guys get drugged out girls who are too strung out to realize they're being used for sex. The only difference between these drugs and roofies are the girls aren't unconscious and manage to retain all memory of what happened the night before. For a high school girl, it's enough to drive her insane. Now granted, I like all these girls…within reason. Enough that I wouldn't want to see any of them suffer this type of humiliation.

I don't know what happened. The moment Patty told me what kind of party it was; my blood ran cold and visions of Helga being an unwilling participant in that type of thing ran through my head. Without thinking, I agreed to help. But I knew I could dissuade any of them from going; they were all bull headed and even if they knew the other two were going to be there, they would show on principle. I had to wait until the night of the party, which meant I had to go. And I had to bring friends who were willing to help me.

"Wait, you received an invitation to the Halloween party?" Lorenzo asked, stunned. Arnold nodded. Beside the Latino teen, Sid looked just as impressed.

"Wow. I didn't know you'd hit the big time Arnold."

"That isn't the point." Arnold glanced around the crowded restaurant. He'd called both teens after school that day and begged them both to show up at the restaurant.

"Look. We all know only certain people get invited to these things and what goes on there is kept in high secret."

"So?" Sid asked.

" I'm allowed to invite two guys. I'm inviting you two."

Both teens sat there flabbergasted.

"Are you serious?"

"Wow, Arnold. I…thanks!"

Sid was the first to catch on. "Wait. Why didn't you invite Gerald? He's your bro."

"Because Gerald has no love for any of these three and I can't trust him to help me."

Lorenzo frowned. "Help you what?"

"Get Lila, Rhonda, and Helga out of that party."

"And why are we doing that?" Sid asked.

Arnold glanced around again, and then leaned in closer to the other two. "I have it on good authority that the annual Halloween party is a pimp party."

Lorenzo was the first to speak. "No. Those don't really happen. That's just an urban legend."

Sid agreed. "Why would guys risk their entire school career to host one of those? It doesn't make sense."

"Think about it. Out of all the girls that are invited every year, there's usually a group that makes everyone wonder. And have we ever seen many of those girls after that night?"

"But really Arnold, those kind of parties are dangerous. One of the girls can always go to the police."

"Would you really go to the cops after something like that? It's your word against not only all the guys at the party but some of the girls, because you know there are some that are in on this."

Sid thought about it. "Okay. But what if we go and you're wrong?"

"Then you guys get into the hottest party in the school and nothing happens. But seriously, with everyone in the entire school knowing how Rhonda, Lila and Helga are; who in their right mind would invite all three of them to the same party at the same time?"

"You have a point there." Lorenzo conceded.

"Look, the reason I'm inviting you guys is because you both have some sort of special bond with one of the girls. Sid, you're one of the very few guys Rhonda lets her guard down with. Lorenzo, you and Lila have this thing even I don't know about. Around you she isn't the same person everyone else at school sees."

"That leaves you with Helga." Sid said.

Arnold nodded. "Trust me. We have a history."

We all agreed to meet on the corner of Pine and 54th at eight the next night. The invite did state it was costume, so I ended up wearing a knight's costume. Minus the armor. Trust me, it felt like I was about to go into battle.

When we got there, I was fully expecting a full-blown catfight with guys taking bets on who would win, complete with chocolate pudding or Jell-O. I was definitely not expecting what we did find…

The door opened the loud music blaring out into the night. The blond who'd given Arnold the invite beamed when he saw the teen.

"Dude, you came! Did you bring the invite?"

Arnold quietly handed over the white cardboard invitation. The blond nodded, then eyed the other two.

"These your guests?"

"Yep."

"Cool. Come on in."

The three walked in, immediately assaulted by all types of music blaring from all room. A hot senior clad in a French maid costume sauntered towards them.

"Welcome to the annual Halloween party, gentlemen." She said. The blond grinned, grabbing her butt.

"This is Karen. She'll be able to show you around, and get you anything you need."

The girl smiled provocatively, and then wagged her finger. "Follow me. I'll get you something to drink."

She supplied them with drinks then pointed out all the different rooms. As soon as she left, Arnold grabbed the other two.

"Okay, how do we do this? I don't think they're going to let us take the girls out the front door."

"I'll check out the area and meet you back in the living room." Sid said. Lorenzo nodded.

"We'll see if we can at least find the girls."

Arnold and Lorenzo wandered around the room, each room almost as adult as the next. Some of the darkened rooms, they didn't even walk into. The moaning and cheers were enough to make them keep their distance. They walked into the family room where were a group of guys cheering. And froze.

Right in the middle of the group of guys were Rhonda and Lila. Rhonda was clad in an outfit that looked like it was from Tarzan, and Lila was dressed as an adult little Red Riding Hood. Both women were dancing, grinding against the other like one of the soft-core lesbian porn movies Arnold had caught Ernie and Mr. Kokashka watching one evening.

"I can't help it." Lorenzo whispered. "I'm going to have fantasies about this scene for weeks to come."

"I may have to agree with you there." Arnold said.

"Guys!" Sid called over the noise, rushing towards them. " I found a way out and I found something else…HOLYOHMYGOD!"

Rhonda had grabbed Lila's hips and pressed the other girl closer to her, grinding their hips.

The three stood there staring for a moment, lost in the scene.

"Um," Arnold started, still unable to tear his eyes from the two girls. "You said you found something?"

"I found a way out. A back door just off the kitchen. No one's guarding it and its easy access to the alley and out of here. Oh, and I found Helga."

That broke Arnold concentration. He looked over at Sid. "You did? Where?"

"In the trophy room of all places. And I thought what she was doing was sinful."

"Okay, I'm going to get her. You guys able to get the other two out of here?"

At that moment, Lila glanced around the room, her eyes settling on Lorenzo. She pulled from Rhonda's embrace and climbed over a couple of guys, giving them more than just a good view.

"Lorenzo! " She cried, barely audible about the music. "You came!"

Lorenzo glanced over at Arnold. "Not a problem."

Rhonda had spotted Sid and much to the groans of disappointment of the other guys in the room was unsteadily walking towards him.

"We'll call when we get out," Sid said. "Go get Helga before she ends up doing something she really regrets."

I tell you journal, even seeing Rhonda and Lila like that did not prepare me for what I was about to experience next. Looking back I understand why Sid would think what he did, because when I saw Helga, what she was doing was sinful.

Arnold picked up a drink from of the French maid walking around, swallowed it in one, and then walked into the trophy room. And promptly froze.

The lights were down and the music had a hard beat to it. In the middle of a circle of guys was Helga dancing like all she needed was a pole. Dressed as a gothic fairy, she danced around the room with such raw savage heat he wasn't even sure he would be able to move. He finally managed to flop into a chair, not taking his eyes off of her form gracefully moving around the room. Sid was right. This was sinful and he was so going to hell if he didn't get her out of here and soon.

She climbed off the lap of one of the guys and danced back to the middle of the room. She spun once and their eyes met. She smiled predatorily and sauntered towards him.

He couldn't move even if he had wanted to. Gracefully flinging a leg over, she dropped into his lap, grinding against him. He gritted his teeth against a moan.

"Are you my knight coming to rescue me?" She asked softly. "Because knights don't rescue fairies. Just look at Lancelot and the Lady of Shalott."

Even stoned and she could quote literature. But he didn't feel like much of the valiant knight at the moment with her sitting so provocatively in his lap. And the short skirt she wore didn't leave much barrier between him and her.

Swallowing hard, he looked up at her. "There's always a first time."

She laughed, moving in his lap, and flinging her hands around his neck. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly if not rather shakily. She leaned towards him; her lace covered top brushing against his tunic, her breath hot in his ear.

"They told me you'd be here." She said.

"Who?" He asked, desperately trying to think.

"The guy who invited me. He said you'd be here. That's the only reason I came."

"I don't…why…oh, please stop that. I can't think with you moving like that."

She immediately stopped her movements, her face bright with a smile.

"I'm affecting you, am I?"

He looked up at her. Moving like she was, he would place bets that she could affect even Gerald. Before he could say anything, she swooped down, capturing him in a kiss. His hands went around her waist on their own accord, holding her to him. Just above the pounding of his own heart, he could hear the groans of the other guys in the room, and chairs moving as some of them left to find more interesting locations. She pulled away from him breathless.

"I've wanted to do that for years." She gasped.

Arnold gasped for breath, deciding that he needed to get her out of there before anything else happened.

"Helga, you do know you've been drugged, right?"

"Yep."

"We need to get you out of here."

"Okay. Where we going?"

"Phoebe's." He'd made plans with the girl before coming over to the party. Helga beamed, moving her hips again. This time he didn't managed to stop the groan.

"Sweet! Her parents are out of town," She grinned down at him, moving her hips again. "Are you going to protect my honor Sir Arnold? Because it isn't going to be a very fun night if you do." A predatory gleam lit in her eyes and she ground against him, making his fingers dig into her waist as he bit his lip.

"I think I much prefer to be ravaged by you."

"Okay, off." He said, standing up. Helga giggled and climbed off his lap, looking very much like the mischievous imp she portrayed.

"Did you bring anything with you?" He asked, once he was able to stand. She grinned and struck a pose.

"Only what I have on me. Wanna check?"

"I'll trust you." He said, grabbing her hand.

"You're no fun, Arnold." She said, as he pulled her towards the kitchen. Behind him, he could hear loud cheering and some girls squealing, but he ignored it, focusing instead on making it out the back door with Helga.

They entered the kitchen, and like Sid had said, there was no one in there and the door was open. He stepped outside, checking around, then pulled Helga out. He pulled her close to him, to make it look like he was helping her walk, which wasn't far from the truth. Together they stole through the back yard and to the alley.

…I'm not sure how much Helga had to drink or now much stuff they put in the drinks but the things she did at the party was nothing compared to what she did once we got to Phoebe's. The stuff much have let loose a floodwall of stored emotions that night.

Phoebe ran to the door and opened it at the second knock. Arnold stood there with a still smiling Helga on his arm. Her smile brightened as she saw her best friend.

"Phoebe!" She cried, tearing away from Arnold and rushing towards Phoebe. The smaller girl caught her as she stumbled on the steps. Helga stood up and grabbed the girl, catching her in a kiss. For the third time that night, Arnold was frozen in place.

"Okay, I don't even like her, but that's hot." A voice said from across the room. Arnold tore his gaze from the two girls and glanced over at her best friend.

"Gerald. Look…about tonight."

Gerald held up a hand. "Phoebe told me everything. I wouldn't have been any good in the situation and as much as I dislike those three, nothing like that should happen to anybody."

Helga broke the kiss, and turned her attention to Gerald.

"Geraldo! You're here!"

"Uh oh." Arnold said. She stumbled towards the two guys, as Phoebe shook off the kiss and rushed over to help her friend.

"This is great." Helga announced, slapping her hands together and not quiet making it. "We could have a foursome."

"I…do what?" Gerald asked, not quite sure he'd heard the blond girl correctly.

"You heard me." She said. "We've all been friend for years, and I can almost promise you I've seen your girlfriend naked more than you have."

Gerald's jaw dropped as he stared at the blonde. Phoebe rushed up, her face red.

"Helga" She said, grabbing the taller girl's arm. "I love you, but I am not sharing my boyfriend with you."

Helga looked at her thoughtfully, and then nodded. "You're right, I'm not sure I'd be willing to share Arnold with you either."

Gerald looked over at Arnold, who just shrugged. Helga shook off Phoebe's hand, and then hugged the girl.

"Phoebe, I love you so much. You're my best friend."

"I love you too, Helga. How much did you have to drink?"

Helga sighed, waving her hands around. "I don't know; two, three, seven. It's a blur. God, is it hot in here?" She pulled off the top to the costume, leaving only a black lace bra. Arnold's eyes widened, Phoebe screeched as she ran for a blanket, and Gerald stared for only a moment, before yelping.

"Got to get that image out of my brain." He said, rushing back into the living room. Helga threw the top to the side and pulled off the skirt, tossing it with the top.

"God that's so much better."

Arnold couldn't help it. He stared. Helga stood there clad in only a black lace bra and matching high cut panties, thigh high black fishnet stockings and a pair of black high-heeled boots. She turned around and caught him. She smiled and stumbled towards him, falling into his arms.

"You're staring." She said.

"You're practically naked, Helga. I'm only human."

"That's okay, stare all you want. Want me to take off more?"

No, no, honey, you're just fine the way you are."

Helga grinned again. "You called me honey." She stated. Before he could say anything, he found her lips on his again. His eyes closed on their own. He couldn't help it. He had a half naked girl in his arms, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He heard a gasp over the rushing of blood in his ears and he broke the kiss, looking over. Phoebe stood there, trying hard to hide a smile. She approached them, draping the blanket over Helga's shoulders. Helga stood there in Arnold's arms, looking up at him, a goofy grin on her face, her eyes half closed.

"Arnold?" She sighed.

"Yes, Helga?"

"I …love…y…" She collapsed suddenly, and he scrambled to get a tighter hold before she fell.

"Well, she's finally unconscious." Phoebe observed. She looked up at Arnold. "Can you help me get her upstairs? I can get some pajamas on her in the spare room."

He lifted the now sleeping blond in his arms and followed Phoebe up the stairs and into a room. Walking across the room, he laid her down on the bed, trying hard not to look at the flesh peeking from the blanket.

"You going to be okay?" He asked. Phoebe looked up, amused.

"Did you want to help?"

"No! That's not…I mean…"

"Relax, Arnold. That thing about her seeing me naked? It goes both ways."

Red faced and trying to dispel the image from his mind, Arnold stumbled out of the room to go hide with Gerald in the living room while Phoebe took care of her best friend.

I should have known with Phoebe that the night wasn't going to end there. She would manage to take full advantage of me. Gerald, the friend he was, had brought over a spare pair of sweats for me to change into once Phoebe had told him the whole story. He knew I'd be staying the night there. The only problem was neither of us knew where exactly I would end up staying…

Phoebe walked into the room, as Arnold was finishing up the story to Gerald, who sat there in stunned silence.

"Stubborn pain in the ass." She muttered. "I told her not to go."

Arnold felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his pocket. The text was from Sid.

"Rhonda's out." He said. Phoebe flopped onto the couch and looked at Arnold, giving him her best pathetic look.

"You're willing to help me, aren't you?" She asked. Behind her, Gerald shook his head no franticly.

"With Helga. Of course, you know I will." He could see Gerald slap his head with the heel of his hand.

"Great. I'm just afraid that she might throw up in her sleep or something. You don't mind staying with her tonight, do you?"

"You mean, in the room? Well, no, but…I didn't see any other place to sleep."

"She's unconscious. I don't think she'll mind if you share the bed."

Arnold's eyes widened. "Tonight maybe. But what happens to me tomorrow morning when she wakes up, huh?"

"Please Arnold?" She asked, her lip trembling. "I'm terrified something will happen if someone isn't in there with her tonight."

He let out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine. I'll do it. But if she kills me, my death hangs over your head."

Phoebe grinned happily. "That's fair."

Arnold stood up and whipping his suddenly damp hands on his pants, he walked towards the stairs. From the other room he could hear Gerald chastising his girlfriend.

"Damn Phoebe, that was just cruel and manipulative. You have really got to stop hanging around Helga."

"Hey, I learned from the best." He heard her say.

I walked into that room and I admit it, I was terrified. Not because of what the next morning might bring like I had told Phoebe, but because this was Helga. The person I had kissed twice that night in a two-hour period. The same girl who gave me a really good lap dance. The same girl that stripped in front of me and then threw her half naked body in my arms. The same girl who propositioned me twice that night. The same girl who I think almost told me she loved me…before she passed out. And I was going to sleep next to her. All night. To tell the truth, I kind of wished she had thrown up all over the place. That may have brought me crashing down to reality in a hurry. But she didn't. And I ended up sleeping next to her peacefully all night.

The next morning came too soon and I was woken up, all right. But not how I expected to be.

The sun streamed into the room, hitting him right in the face. He frowned a bit, and moved so he could pull the covers up a bit. That's when he felt it. Or rather her. Helga was curled up behind him, one arm thrown over his waist to curl up in his chest. One leg had managed to maneuver its way between his. Her body was pressed against his tightly. Smiling slightly, he drifted back to sleep. The peace lasted for a few short moments before he felt her move.

She pulled away from him suddenly, and he heard her running for the bathroom. He lay there wondering if he should help. The sound of retching came from the guest bathroom, then the toilet flushed and the water was turned on. A moment later, he heard footsteps walk out of the bathroom, then suddenly stop.

"Oh shit." He heard her whisper. "Oh shit, shit, shit, shit."

The door to the guest room was opened, and then shut. That's when he moved. Rolling over, he listened to her footsteps in the quiet house. Then another set of footsteps appeared, followed by the soft tone he knew as Phoebe's voice.

Getting out of bed, he crept quietly to the door, straining to listen to the hushed conversation.

"Nothing happened, clam down." Phoebe's voice was calm.

Helga's, on the other hand, was just short of whispered hysterical. "I gave strange guys lap dances Phoebs."

"Arnold got you out of there before anything bad happened to you."

"Phoebe. I am so sorry about last night."

"It's okay, nothing happened."

"Phoebe. I kissed you. I propositioned your boyfriend. I don't even like your boyfriend."

"Better him than some guy at the party. Although, you should have seen his face."

"And Arnold. Oh God!"

The voice went down the hall, and he opened the door a crack to hear them. Down the hall, he saw Phoebe holding the pajamas Helga had worn the night before. Next to her, Helga was clad in a pair of jeans and a green tee shirt. The two girls moved down the hall and down the stairs, As Arnold slipped out of the room and to the banister to hear the rest of their conversation.

Phoebe's hand was on Helga's arm. "It was Arnold. You know he would never hurt you or take advantage of you."

"That's the point, Phoebe. I asked him to. I threw myself at him, I gave him a lap dance, I stripped in front of him, and I almost spilled my secret. He's never going to look at me the same way again."

"You're being too harsh on yourself. We all know you were drugged."

"I should have known better. I never should have listened to Dave. I knew that those guys used lines to get the girls up to those parties. I fooled myself into believing the idiot. It was my fault."

"Helga…"

"I gotta go. Thanks for watching over me last night. I'll…I'll call you later."

With that Helga slipped out the front door. Arnold watched as Phoebe stared helplessly at the door. Sighing, he made his way down the stairs. Halfway down, she turned to look at him.

"Morning." She said miserably.

"Morning. We need to talk."

After large amounts to tea and some breakfast, I managed to get Phoebe to at least tell me something about what had happened that night, and apparently the past ten years of my life. Being Helga's best friend and keeper of the deep dark secrets, she couldn't tell me much, but what she did let slip confirmed what I thought the night before. Helga did love me…in her own warped, demented way. And the drugs had just let her defenses drop long enough to let her live out some of her fantasies.

I went home later, and called Sid and Lorenzo. Sid had gotten Rhonda home and had sat up with her all night. He didn't tell me what happened, but I got the just of it. Lorenzo couldn't manage to get Lila out of the house, but he did manage to get her up into one of the bedrooms and lock the door for the night. Apparently Lila pulled a Helga that night; stripped for him, and then passed out face first in his lap. Unlike Helga, she awoke the next morning in her underwear with Lorenzo asleep in a stuffed chair next to the bed. They managed to sneak out of the house in the early morning. According to him, he bought her an outfit to replace the costume she only had and they ended up at a diner having breakfast.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about the entire weekend. When I received the invite, there was no doubt in my mind that I was not going. Now, I'm glad I did. Seeing Helga, experiencing what I did, it made me think. There's so much about this girl that I don't know. But I am willing to learn. I want to experience the enigma that is Helga. I want to be her knight in shining armor; I want her in my arms again. I want to have her look at me the way she did that night. Hell, I even want the lap dance for real this time. I wanted her.

I knew the next morning was going to be hell on everyone. Especially the girls. But Rhonda and Lila had the guys. Helga had no one…or so she thought. So I went into the school that Monday apparently with a death wish.

Arnold walked into school on a mission; to find Helga. And he found her. She was dressed to kill; black mini, black boots, black shirt. And the victim in sight was some kid she'd given a lap dance to before she'd caught sight of him. He could tell by the way her fist was tightening that the oblivious boy only had seconds to live. Rushing up to them, he grabbed her fisted hand, and throwing up a silent prayer, leaned over and kissed her cheek. Then he frowned at the boy, glancing between him and Helga.

"Honey, am I interrupting something?"

"No, sorry. I didn't know you guys hooked up."

The kid walked away. Arnold watched him leave, before chancing a glance at Helga. She stood there, staring at him, a stunned expression on her face.

"You okay?"

"You…you called me honey."

"Yeah, I seem to be doing that a lot these days."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you do that? Pretend to be with me to get him to leave."

"Because I'm thinking, you're going to have a whole hell of a lot of crap to deal with today. Not as much as Lila and Rhonda, because, well, your lesbian experience wasn't in a room full of guys." He winced as she punched his shoulder. "Ow."

She stopped, frowning. "Wait, the Princess and Little Miss Perfect were making out at the party."

"Well, pretty damn close."

"I think I just found my happy thought for the day." She mused. She turned her attention back to him. "But that still doesn't tell me why you're doing this for me."

"You need somebody. For backup. For a buffer. Feel free to use me any way you want."

He blushed at the way that sounded, and apparently she caught the double meaning also.

"Look Arnold, about Saturday night. You know I was drugged out of my mind."

He stood there silently waiting for her to finish.

"I'd…I wanted to thank you, for coming after me. But I was hoping you'd forget about the entire night."

"That's not going to be easy," he mused. "You were pretty unforgettable."

She blushed, hitting him in the arm again. He grinned and held out his uninjured arm.

"Come on. Let the knight rescue you this time. Since I didn't do such a great job the night before."

She eyed him a moment, then took the offered arm. "Oh I don't know, you did a pretty good job from where I could see."

…So I didn't get killed. Actually, I'm not sure what I got. But after this weekend, it's defiantly going to be interesting to find out.