I was bored before Thanksgiving and decided to be a jerk and write the most retarted story I could even fathom of coming up with. Basically... Ron and Draco get locked in Snape's dungeon. More characters end up there eventually. Purely random. Enjoy.

Ron: "What the bloody hell is wrong with you"
Draco: "Oh shut UP Weasle-bee. We could do a hell of a lot better without you bitching all the time"
Ron: "I'M THE ONE WHO'S BITCHING! Hold on a second Malfoy I'm not the one who cries everytime a hair is out of place"
Draco: "Well for YOUR information, its very difficult being beautiful"
Ron: "Yeah, your a REAL beauty Malfoy. More like a real fag"
Draco: "Shh! What was that"
Ron: "Oh, Excuse me "
Draco: "Oh shut up! Not that! I hear someone...outside. And for God's sake Weasle-bee what the bloody hell did you eat for dinner"
Ron: "Some treacle tart, a steak "
Draco: "Well Jesus! no wonder - Wait! Listen! Hey! Hey! We're in here!"

"Hello?"

Draco: "Yes! Yes! We're in here! And hurry it bloody stinks in here"
Ron: "Oh yeah...like you smell like roses"
Draco: "Stop your grumbling!"

"Veezley?"

Ron: "Oh no! Its Krum"
Draco: "Yes! We're saved! Oh thank you God!"

"Alohomora"

Viktor: "Vell vy didnt you try that "
Ron: "Damn you Krum you let the door shut"
Viktor: "Ve can get back out...don' vorry"
Ron: "Don't you understand! Its bewitched on the inside"
Viktor: "Ohh"
Ron: "Oh we're going to be stuck in here forever"
Draco: "Like I said..bitch bitch bitch"
Ron: "Shut your mouth Malfoy!"

Viktor: "Vat is that smell"
Draco: "JESUS WEASLEY! Cant you hold it in"
Viktor: "I vink I'm going to be sick"
Ron: "Well SORRY! Just dont breathe alright"
Viktor: "Its like a mixture of bad eggs"
Draco: "Ugh! I cant believe I'm stuck in here with you...of ALL people Weasley"
Viktor: "Sour milk"
Ron: "Well I'm sorry your HIGHNESS"
Draco: "Well the bow was much appreciated. I should have known someone of your kind to do something like this"
Viktor: "Very old fish"
Ron: "What! Fart! Its perfectly natural! And wait, your telling me that YOU dont fart"
Draco: "No, I dont"
Ron: "If you didnt you'd explode"
Viktor: "I really think...I dont feel vell"
Draco: "Now HOW can a person explode if they dont fart Weasley"
Ron: "I dont know! You'd eventually shit yourself wouldnt you"
Draco: "Krum! Those are my brand new shoes"
Viktor: "Sorry"
Ron: "Nice aim Krum"
Viktor: "Thanks."

An hour later...

Draco: "It still smells in here"
Ron: "DON'T blame it on me. My gas has gone thank you very much"
Draco: "Its not that! It smells like cat sick"
Viktor: "Please...dont talk about..those things"
Ron: "Yes Draco, before we ALL start vomiting."

Fifteen minutes later...

Ron: "I cant believe you dont fart"
Draco: "Can it Weasley"
Ron: "Honestly Malfoy! Its a rule of nature "
Draco: "I said shut it"
Viktor: "He's right you know"
Draco: "Oh now you too"
Viktor: "No I'm just saying"
Draco: "Well dont say anything alright"
Ron: "Geez its not his fault we're stuck in here"
Draco: "What was that Ron? I'm sorry I couldnt hear you over your outrageous gas expulsion"
Ron: "Thats it"
Viktor: "No! Stop! Let go!"

-Thwack! Shuffle Shuffle.-

Viktor: "Draco! Ronald! Let go of his hair Ronald"
Ron: "How do you like that! Huh? HUH? This is for all "
Viktor: "STOP"
Ron: "THE TIMES "
Viktor: "Ronald your hurting him! His hair! Oh my God"
Ron: "YOU EVER - "
Draco: "He's killing me"
Ron: "SAID A WORD - "
Viktor: "Your ripping his hair out"
Ron: "ABOUT MY- "
Draco: "MY HAIR"
Viktor: "MY GOD"
Ron: "MY FAMILY!"

- ten minutes later-

Draco: "I'm suing you for my plastic surgery costs."