Title:No Problem

Genre: Humor/General/Romance

Pairing: HP/DM

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Harry says some very personal things before the entire student body, embarrassing Draco beyond belief. Who would have thought Harry one to kiss and tell? GigglingFriend! Ron to the rescue.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. It's all the property of J.K Rowling, and this story is being written for entertainment purposes only. Not a dime is being made.

Draco leaned back against the tiled wall of the girl's bathroom and prayed that Moaning Myrtle would keep away for just a few more minutes. He'd managed to sneak in here unnoticed, and so far, the bloody ghost had yet to make an appearance. Draco sniffed and rubbed his swollen eyes on the edge of his shirt sleeve. There was a painful twisting motion in his chest that simply would not leave him alone. To add to that, his stomach had dropped out and seemed to be running a marathon inside him. He felt like shit, and he couldn't stop crying to save his life.

All of this because his boyfriend was a tactless, heartless shit.

Draco tried to pretend that the events of that morning had never happened. That he hadn't been sitting in the Great Hall enjoying a nice cup of tea and a chat with Pansy about the newest fashion catalogue she'd just received from Madame Malkins when his boyfriend of five wonderful months had stood up on top of the Gryffindor table and proclaimed to all an sundry that "he loved it when Draco was sprawled across his lap awaiting a good hard spanking."

The hall had erupted in a chorus of teenaged laughter as various whispers of "oooh, that Malfoy is a bad boy" filled the air. Draco knew his own face has first paled ten degrees before ripening into his best impression of a tomato.

But Harry Potter hadn't stopped there. No, he'd continued to ramble on about all of the most intimate secrets of his sex life with Draco Malfoy. "He likes it best on his hands and knees, arse high in the air and face buried in his pillow. That way he can scream to his hearts content and no one will hear," was greeted by thunderous applause. When it was followed by: "it depends on his moods really, or is it my moods? Sometimes he likes it hard and deep, other times fast and shallow. Personally I think he likes it best when I take him on his back with long slow strokes," Draco thought he was going to be sick. The story made more than a few girls coo, however. "I like to bit him. Make him mine" was greeted with silence that was punctuated by his following statement of: "I know he likes it when I bite at his neck." The last bit was greeted with a murmur of mild shock and more than a little disgust.

"Sounds to me like you're a real bottom boy, Malfoy! Is Harry your daddy?" Seamus Finnigan had laughed heartily as he raised his cup of pumpkin juice to toast a seriously embarrassed Malfoy heir.

Draco had done the only thing a self respecting Malfoy could do in that situation: he'd run for his life. Now he was hidden away where no one would think to look and he could mope over the absurdity of the situation and dream up scenarios where he could break up with Harry and win his dignity back. Except he didn't want to break up with Harry. He loved Harry, and he'd thought that Harry loved him.

But if his boyfriend did love him, than why would be do something so cruel? Draco sniffed again and burst into a fresh round of sobs. "Malfoy? Are you in here?" He stiffened. The voice was the last one he'd ever expected to hear.

"Go away!" He muttered brokenly, heaving sobs while he shrugged more deeply against the wall.

"Merlin Malfoy, you sure aren't an easy bloke to find!" Ron Weasley sauntered into the girl's bathroom without a second thought and sat down across from Draco, leaving only about a foot between them. He paused and watched the smaller boy who looked like he'd just found out his best friend was dead. Ron had to admit he felt sorry for me, but that didn't mean the breakfast escapade hadn't been a least a bit funny. "You know he didn't mean to say any of those things, right?" He started, wondering how he was ever going to get through this conversation.

Draco shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

Ron frowned. "It sure as bloody well does matter. Harry's in the bloody infirmary right now trying to get Madame Pomfrey to shut his mouth off. It was only a joke, or at least that's what Seamus planned it to be. He uh – he honestly didn't expect Harry to have anything so nasty to say once he drank whatever potion Seamus gave him."

Draco looked up with teary eyes, his expression unreadable. "A potion?"

Ron nodded. "You don't seriously think Harry would ever say those things about you sober, do you?"

Draco shrugged.

Ron started to laugh, hearty tear-inducing sobs that echoed throughout the entire bathroom chamber. "Malfoy, you really need to learn a thing or two about your boyfriend."

Draco snorted. "Like what?"

Ron gripped his stomach in an effort to stop giggling. "Like that he gets insanely jealous whenever anyone so much as looks at you. He's so pissed that he said those things in the Great Hall. Trust me mate, Harry's a very possessive bloke. That stuff he talked about is not something he would ever feel comfortable sharing. Trust me on that."

Draco sniffed. "You think so?" He was still weary. He and Harry's relationship was still somewhat new, and while he'd had reservations about being so intimate with Harry so soon, his lust had overridden his judgment, and now this had happened. What if it was all some colossal prank to get him back for all those years he'd been a git?

Ron smiled softly. "Harry's got it bad for you mate. That's why I came. I know I haven't always been so supportive, but I know that Harry really really likes you. Probably loves you even. Seamus wants to apologize by the way, before Harry hexes his balls off, but we thought it best that I should come find you first, seeing as how I have absolutely no reason to lie to you."

Draco nodded gently and wiped his face with his sleeve. It was true. Weasley had no reason to lie. "Harry's in the infirmary?"

"Last I checked, yes."

"I should go and talk to him."

Ron started to giggle again. "Last I heard he wanted to hold you real bad."

Draco blushed and looked away shyly. "Thanks Weasley."

"No Problem."