I don't own Teen Titans. Sob. Cry. Weep.

Every year, I try to think of what I'm thankful for. And, in the realms of fanfiction, I am thankful for all you readers. Every single one of them. From the insane ones… to the evil ones… to the flaming ones…

Anyway, I thought I'd give you guys something for the holidays. Merry Christmas!

……………………………….

: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T Tower, Christmas Eve:

Raven: (is walking)

Reindeer: (runs her over)

Raven: Oof-!

Reindeer: hehehehe! Sucker!

: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:

Robin: There's no such thing as Santa…

Star: But, Robin! If you celebrate the "Crismiss" festivities without the "Crismiss" spirit, bad karma will knock you down, steal your wallet, enslave your women, and kill you!

Robin: Yeah, right!

Karma: (knocks him down)

Robin: Ow…

: But as for me and Slade, we believe:

Slade: I do not believe in Santa!

Terra: Yes you do…

Slade: I do?

Terra: Yup!

Slade: …oh…

: She's been drinking too much herbal tea:

Raven: (hic) Beast Boy! (hic) You look so adorably (hic) cute in red! (hic)

BB: Uh, Raven?

Raven: (hic) …gugz… (hic) … (passes out)

: And we begged her not to go:

Star: Please Raven! Don't go! "Crismiss" is a time of love and peace and joy and-!

Raven: (already left)

Star: …darn…

: But she forgot her meditation! As she staggered out the door into the snow:

Raven: (holds head) Ugh… I hate hangovers… (stagger) (stagger)

: When we found her the next morning! At the scene of the attack:

BB: YEAH! SNOWBOARDING! WHOO!

Robin&Cye: YEAH! WHOO-HOO!

Boys: (run out the door right over Raven)

Raven: …ow…

BB: You hear something?

Robin: Probably just the wind, let's go before-!

Star: THERE HE IS! SICK 'EM, KARMA!

Karma: Bark! Bark!

Boys: AAAAH! (runs)

Star: That will certainly teach you the "Crissmiss" love, and peace, and joy, and-!

: There were hoof prints on her forehead! While St. Nick's in a dimension very black:

Santa: …ho, ho, ho? (is floating through space and time)

: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:

Raven: (gets run over)

Reindeer: Haha!

Raven: (sits back up; has 4 red, evil eyes) Rawrrrr!

Reindeer: …uh, oh?

: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:

Star: Muahaha! Rip 'em apart, Karma!

Cye: Boys and girls. I'd best start believin' if I were you.

: But as for me and Slade, we believe:

Slade: I don't want to believe in Santa!

Terra: Then, you're dead meat, Slade.

Slade: Why?

Star: A-ha! An unbeliever!

Slade: Ahhhh! (runs from Karma)

Star: Convert all ye un-"Chrismiss" spirited!

: Now we're all so proud of Beast Boy! He's been taking this so well!"

BB: No! My Raven!

Cye: Yo, BB. She never was "yours."

BB: Huh? Oh yeah! In that case!

: See him making out with Terra:

All: BEASTBOY!

Terra: (in closet with BB) Tee-hee!

BB: Gulp!

Raven: (somewhere under a reindeer's hooves) …I'll get you for this…

: Hula-Hoopin', biking, and using Robin's gell:

Robin: Gimme that!

BB: The New and Improved BeastBoy! Now with more anime-ish hair than ever!

Robin: What?

BB: Ka-Me-Ha-Me-HA! (blows Robin up)

: It's not Christmas without Raven:

Cye: Here! A paper machete, full scale Raven!

BB: (sob) NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL!

Star: (talks through paper machete Raven) Grr… Beast Boy cease the talking you repulsive flobworm.

BB: (sob) Wah...

Cye: It ain't Christmas without Raven…

: All the family's dressed in black :

Everyone: (dressed in bright green)

Cye: BEAST BOY!

BB: Sorry… I was trying to drown my sorrows by taking a ride in the washing machine…

: And we couldn't help but wonder, should we open up her gifts or send them back:

Cye: tch… there probably just spell books and stuff… (seeing if anything is worth selling on E-Bay)

Star: AH! (takes presents) No dark energies in this merry holiday! (proceeds to burn presents)

: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:

Raven: AZARATH! METRION! ZINOTHOS!

Reindeer: gzAAAAAAHg! (is fried by a dark lightning bolt)

: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:

Star: Everybody's so very, very merry!

BB: Star! Everyone's dead!

Star: WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE! Karma, ATTACK!

: But as for me and Slade, we believe:

Slade: Meeeercy! Please! Meeeercy!

Karma: (is to busy chewing on Slade's head to hear him)

Star: No mercy for the unspirited…

: Now the glorg is on the table:

Silkie: (eats the glorg)

: The sadness pudding's made of tofu:

Silkie: (eats the pudding)

: And the blue and silver candles:

Silkie: (eats the candles)

: That would have matched the hair on Malchior's wig:

Malchior: Say Wha-!

Silkie: (eats Malchior)

: I've warned all my fans and readers! Better watch out for yourselves:

Slushie (tats me): Santa is a homicidal, psycho maniac! (crickets chirping)

Little Boy: Mommy! That weird girl thinks Santa is a maniac!

Mom: Stop polluting my child's mind! (punches Slushie)

: But they send me flaming comments:

All Reviewers: SHUT UP!

: So, I might as well join St. Nick and all his elves:

Slushie: (hops on Santa's Sleigh) Hey where's the elves?

Legolas: I'm the only elf left.

Slushie: Where's Santa?

Legolas: In a dimension very black.

Slushie: And the reindeer?

Legolas: Running over Raven as we speak.

Slushie: Very good. Now, pull my sleigh, elf! (cracks the whip)

Legolas: (drags Santa's sleigh) ow…

: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:

Raven: (exhales) I think I got him… (turns to find the whole crew of reindeer) …aw, darnit…

: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:

Star: (holds sniper and turns to look at readers) Now, you want soma dis?

: But as for me and Slade, we believe:

Slade: YES! YES! I AM A BELIEVER! And I'll prove it by joining the Titans in festive celebration.

Star: Hooray!

Slade: Um, where are the other titans?

Star: (smiles evily) I'm the only one left. I have successfully weeded out all the people who have not obtained the "Chrismiss" spirit.

Slushie: HoHoHo! MEEEEERY CHRISTMAS! (flies overhead by an elf-pulled slead)

……………………………………

Don't forget to R&R! And remember, keep a cheery spirit or Karma will pay you a visit, knock you down, steal your wallet, enslave your women, and kill you…

Merry Christmas everybody!