Disclaimer: I don't own the Mummy, although I wish I did. Forget Anck, I'd be havin' some Imhotep fun. But, alas, it all belongs to Stephen Sommers.

Fangirls Gone Bonkers: Imhotep's Butt

The fangirls were going bonkers.

It all started when Imhotep had been reawakened yet again, proving for the third time that there was indeed life after death. Of course he was in his mummy form, grimy and gauzy and just very sickening to be around. The fangirls still loved him, of course, but they were obviously still not convinced they should kiss a mummy; Meela's results had gone well, but… well, she was Anck-su-namun reincarnated. They weren't.

So, when Imhotep became flesh again, by coincidentally sucking the flesh from others who had opened the sacred chest (other fangirls, to be exact, who hadn't been mourned by the rest of the fangirls), everyone had been relieved. Imhotep was a stunning man to be sure.

And then he'd put on that cursed robe, covering up his much-revealing loincloth. Disappointed, but not ready to give up, the girls had conceived a plan, conniving as they were.

The plan, quite simply, was to ambush him, pull off his robe, and hopefully "accidentally" take the loincloth, as well. At least, that'd been the first plan. Then a very wise fangirl had pointed out that it wouldn't work too well. He was, after all, the all-powerful mummy. What they needed to do was trick him, and tell him that since he'd been wearing that loincloth for a few thousand years now, it definitely needed a wash.

All had went as planned, until one day, one Alex O'Connell had really pissed off the omnipotent mummy, and Imhotep had hastened to make chase, much like the girls chased him.

The girls did follow, all squeezing in and packed like sardines into Imhotep's "borrowed" train. They fought the entire time on who would get him, since he obviously was no longer interested in Anck-su-namun anymore because she had betrayed him to save herself. They'd played rock, paper, scissors many times, narrowing it down to the top five, but alas, the train lurched suddenly and the tournament had to be redone. In the end, they decided that they would just have to let Imhotep choose, after he was done with this little scarab beetle under his skin… Alex O'Connell, that is.

Filing out of the train, they watched as Imhotep sent the sand sailing through the air with his face in it, much like he had in "The Mummy."

All the fangirls suddenly hushed, and one by one they started talking and squealing behind the legendary mummy. He didn't turn back… nor did he notice that with all the wind he had created, his loincloth had fled his body, leaving the rabid girls behind him to gawk and giggle at his finely toned behind.

To the girls, he much resembled a chiseled god of old. Some girls even started drooling, which was quite understandable. One lucky girl actually jumped up (she was real tall) and caught the elusive loincloth in her hands, and brought it down to cradle in her arms.

Imhotep didn't even know until after he'd been handcuffed to a chair on the train that Alex O'Connell had been hired by one particular cunning fangirl…

…Katie, the author.


Well, kids, I just went with my muse. I saw the end of the Mummy and when Imhotep takes off his robe, there's a hole in his loincloth that shows some of that luscious buttocks. I thought I'd go along with what was bubbling in my head. I hope you enjoyed! If you like Captain Jack Sparrow, don't miss my next installment of "Fangirls Gone Bonkers: Captain's Quarter's." I only knew two fangirls of Imhotep at the time of writing this, but if you'd like to be named as one of Cap'n Jack's fangirls in my next story, email me.