I Fell In Love with my Psychiatrist

Summary: Vincent Valentine has enough problems to deal with, with the demonic voices in his head and the ghosts of his past. So he goes to see the well renowned Yuffie Kisaragi, ShinRa's Wutaian psychiatrist…the problem is, it seems she's just adding to the list of his troubles. AU, Yuffentine

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7. Is it that obvious?

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Chapter One: Observation

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Vincent Valentine, author extraordinaire, groaned out loud as he heard his roommates screaming at one another. Again. He turned to look at the clock on the table beside him. AT 3:00AM. Screw this life; he really needed to move out of this apartment already. He didn't know how much he could take of this deafening life.

Why I always procrastinate is beyond me, he thought dryly as he got off his bed. No use of trying to go back to sleep now.

As he dressed himself lazily, he tried to think of the reason of why he still hadn't gotten his own apartment. True, he had made enough money already to be able to financially cover the rest of his life (thanks to his profits from the books he had written; they all became bestsellers, but Vincent had no idea why), and he was also domesticated enough to keep house (in fact, he was the only occupant of this place that actually knew how to use a broom). So why was he putting up with one Cloud Strife, one Sephiroth and one Zack was completely beyond him.

"Maybe it's their company I need," he mused out loud, making his way downstairs. He snorted. Yeah right. He could very well live by himself. So why was he living with these noisy slobs?

He winced as he heard lamps breaking, and also at the ominous sound of the microwave exploding. AGAIN. Now he had to save the toaster before they broke it, too; else suffer the pain of having to eat leftovers cold.

Then buy a new one.

And watch Zack make blow it up by putting raw eggs into it? Not quite. He had enough traumas with the many different ways the black-haired SOLDIER could break things, thank you very much. Besides, that was already the fourth microwave. The people at the store were sick of him coming back again and again.

Hey, the customer is always right!

Shut up, Chaos, he told the voice wearily. I'm not in the mood.

Yes, Vincent was talking to himself. He did this often. In fact, it had been such a habit of his that he started naming them. Well, actually, they introduced themselves to him, but since they were generally the figments of his imagination, he was the one who named them…but now he was ranting. Anyway, the voices were often annoying and demonic. They never really helped any.

Like your roommates are any help, said Hellmasker spitefully. They're just as annoying as we are.

Hey, Hellmasker has a point there! Galian Beast added.

Will all of you just shut up? Vincent yelled mentally, frustrated.

And why should we listen to you? mocked Death Gigas.

Vincent contemplated on how he could mentally kill the voices in his head.

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While Vincent was struggling in his inner turmoil, Cloud, one of his roommates, just so happened to be dashing upstairs, when he saw Vincent doing IT again. He rolled his eyes. Not again. "Guys, Vincent is talking to himself again!" the blonde yelled.

In a flash, Sephiroth and Zack were there. "Which one is it this time?" Zack asked.

Vincent fought the urge to hit his head against the wall. He wished he had never told the three SOLDIERS about his…'condition.' It had been a completely bad idea. At first, he had assumed they would understand, because they weren't exactly normal themselves…instead, they began monitoring him like Hojo.

He suppressed a shudder. Ugh. That mad doctor. He was Vincent's first psychiatrist, and the pale, vampire-looking man was sure that he would be the last. God, that man was more mentally problematic than he would ever be.

Ironically, it was Hojo himself who brought him together with his roommates. They had all been his patients, and they all suffered his torture—er, his therapy. After all, they were all afflicted mentally (on this Vincent based his idea on divulging his mental problem), one way or another. Cloud was an amnesiac that had memory problems. In a way that his memories were not his, but Zack's. As for Zack, he thought he was dead. (Vincent was still unsure if Zack was fully cured; after all, the man constantly tried to walk through walls.) As for Sephiroth, he had a mental breakdown a few years ago and went wacko. And I mean wacko as in he burned a few villages down and tried to destroy the world. But that was all over; they were cured now. Or so Hojo said.

So, as mentioned, Hojo was his first psychiatrist. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to help him. Vincent couldn't help but think that the doctor was the cause of his schizophrenic state. After all, he only got worse when he started seeing him.

And Lucrecia, added Chaos.

Vincent bit his lip. Now was not the time to remember her…

Face it, Vincent. She's dead. Mourn and move on; get on with your life, for cryin' out loud!

Shut. Up.

Anyway, Hojo was in a mental asylum now. He was proven mentally unstable when he experimented illegally on Lucrecia. And it served him right. Vincent unconsciously clenched his fists.

"Earth to Vincent! Hello?" Zack waved a hand in front of his roommate's face. No reaction. "Hey, Vincent, you with us?"

Sephiroth frowned. Vincent was once again talking to himself, and was obviously not with in the land of reality. "You need to see a psychiatrist, Valentine. Badly."

Vincent started at Sephiroth's words. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do!" Cloud insisted. "Look, Vincent, we're really worried about you! You randomly space out, then you start moving your lips but no sound comes out, then you make expressions at the air!

It's not normal, I tell you!"

"And who do you suggest I see? If I must remind you, Hojo's in the asylum now," he pointed out sarcastically.

"There are other doctors!" Zack exclaimed cheerfully. "I heard there's this great psychiatrist-psychologist girl from Wutai…Yuffie something! Anyway, she's the new ShinRa psychiatrist; ya know, Hojo's replacement and all—"

"Do you honestly believe that is a good way recommending her to me?"

"—she's really famous now, and everyone likes her!" Zack continued, as if he hardly heard Vincent's comment. "And you can have easy access to her, with me, Cloud and Seph all working for ShinRa as SOLDIERS…and you were also a former Turk, right? You can get a discount or something like that! Getting a new psychiatrist for you is really easy!"

Vincent could only stare at Zack blankly. And this coming from a guy who thought he was dead? Who was he to talk about getting psychiatrists?

"Plus, I hear she's really pretty," Cloud added, smirking. "You really need to get a love life, Vincent."

And this coming from a guy who thought he was his best friend (who thought he was dead), so much that he actually took said best friend's girlfriend. Who was he to lecture about his nonexistent love life? At least he wasn't in love with a dead person.

"Yeah, you'll need new material for those love stories you write," Sephiroth said thoughtfully, looking so decided that Vincent didn't know whether to actually take him seriously or not. "You could write a new book. 'My Life as a Psychiatric Patient.' I'd want to read that. After all, your love stories are interesting and all, but they're so tragic and dramatic."

THIS…coming from the man who tried to destroy the world in his mental frenzy, burned Nibelheim (the town where he used to live in, may he add), and ended up killing Zack's and/or Cloud's girlfriend because he thought she threatened her plans, when all the while she was merely praying and had no idea why the crazed maniac put a sword through her stomach and out. Who was he to tell him what to write?

Vincent decided that he needed new friends—or at least, new roommates. New, SANE, roommates. He just had to remember not to tell them about the voices in his head.

Maybe he should put up an ad in the newspaper.

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My very first FF7 fic! Yuffentine, my favorite FF pairing (though why I'm so obsessed with it is beyond me). Yuffie shows up in the next chapter. R&R!