Heart Filled With Yearning


"God, Tim…I can't believe I never realized until now how much I wanted you," Dick says, before going back to kissing the hell – and the heaven, and every point in between – out of him.

And it would be so very easy to think that Dick means it; Tim knows Dick thinks he means it. But while Tim doesn't really think that his change in gender is what changed Dick's perception of him (he had researched Dick very thoroughly in his years before becoming Robin, after all, and Dick's tempestuous 'friendship' with Arsenal, nee Speedy, had always been…telling. As had Dick's even more emotionally turbulent relationship with Tim's predecessor, even after Jason had taken to dying his hair.), there is the fact that, if he'd been born a girl, he would have, apparently, looked exactly like his mother; right down to the wider hips, even shorter height, and… Bright. Red. Hair.

Barbara Gordon, former Batgirl and current Oracle. Koriand'r, lately Kory Anders, and always Starfire. Jason Todd, the second Robin. Roy Harper, the first Speedy and now Arsenal.

And Tim Drake, AKA Robin III, is about to become one more in a not-exactly-long line of red-haired superheroes that Dick Grayson has taken to his bed.

Dick's never taken a lover with dark hair. Despite popular opinion, Bruce is like a father to Dick. Rumors to the contrary, Superman is straight (although Kon-El will nail anyone – or anything, if one considers metamorphic shapeshifters, robots/androids and assorted alien species in a class of sentience by themselves – reasonably pretty and/or intelligent who is willing). Helena was a one-night stand.

Tim has the rather dubious honor and definitely wonderful pleasure of having the option of several nights with Dick before this spell wears off. His breath hitches in his throat as Dick trails a line of sucking kisses down his chest – across his breasts, and he's just not going to get used to that any time soon.

Luckily, he won't have to. This spell will wear off by the new moon – in about a week.

By then, he's sure Dick will have thoroughly divested him of any type of virginity he has left (which is pretty much everything past second base) and will, hopefully, still be riding the 'honeymoon high' enough to do the same upon his return to his male (and dark-haired) form.

Before he realizes that no matter how good the sex is – and Tim will admit that while he's put quite a lot of thought into the theory behind sex, that definitely isn't the same as first hand experience, if he's going to judge by the past twenty minutes that Dick has spent driving him insane without even going much further down than his collarbones – Tim isn't a redhead.

He'd be willing to dye his hair red – no matter Bruce's and his father's likely objections – if he thought it was just a personal kink of Dick's. But the fact of the matter is, that aside from the red hair (though Jason had dyed his black during his tenure as Robin), all of Dick's previous lovers also had the fiery temperament to match.

More than one person has commented on how Tim has more in common with Batman than with either of the former Robins; and that doesn't have anything at all to do with their diverse fighting styles, or the fact that Tim substitutes for Oracle whenever she needs a night off because he's the only other member of the Batclan who even approaches having her expertise at computers.

Tim has Babs' analytical mind, but not her sense of dark, sarcastic humor. Tim has Jason's old uniform, but not his biting wit and ability – or willingness – to swear like a sailor at a moment's notice. Tim has…nothing in common with Starfire beyond both of them knowing how good a kisser Dick Grayson is; and while Tim can shoot a bow (compound or cross), he can't shoot off his mouth with the ease that Roy can, sarcastic wisecracks in the midst of battle, annoyingly cute nicknames the rest of the time, and a shit-eating grin all the while.

Tim isn't anything Dick has ever fallen in love with before. At least, not for more than a moment.

Dick's finally worked through the exceedingly tiny buttons on the black silk blouse Dinah had lent him for today's undercover work – revealing the equally exceedingly practical black sports bra that he'd swiped from Cass (because he just knows Dinah would have made him go shopping with her at Victoria's Secret, and while he's willing to do a lot of things in the name of crime fighting, spending hour upon hour power-shopping for lingerie with Black Canary isn't on that list).

He's trying so hard to retain at least a bit of control, but when Dick takes his – her – nipple into his mouth, and swirls his tongue around it, sucking and licking and nipping ever-so-lightly…

Tim can't help but moan and whimper and shake like lightning is running through his veins. It feels so good…

Dick's interest in his – her – reaction is almost palpable, and the look in those glitteringly bright blue eyes is caught somewhere between smolderingly smug pleasure and…caring compassion.

And that's why Tim's going with this. Not just because he's loved Dick for years, or because he's wanted him for longer. Not even because he's a horny teenage guy suddenly inundated with female hormones – which means that he's pretty much turned on all the time, instead of just every other minute – and Dick is the guy he's lusted after since he hit puberty.

But because even if Dick isn't really in love with him – like he's somehow managed to convinced himself he is in the past half-hour – Dick loves him, and cares about him, and…when this whole thing crashes and burns spectacularly, he'll still respect him. They'll still be friends, still be family.

Though…Dick probably won't be calling him 'little brother' anytime soon.

Really, it's not like he'd expected to die a virgin, but he'd never in his wildest dreams thought he'd had a chance of even half of said dreams coming true.

Tim lets out a shuddering sigh as Dick toys with his now spit-slick nipple with one hand, while the other slips underneath his skirt, bypassing the black cotton thong that he wasn't able to talk Dinah out of making him wear, and starts…teasing him. Her. Tim reflexively shifts away from that oh-so-tantalizing touch – he hasn't even been a girl for a week, and it's still…weird, and kind of scary to think about his new body parts, let alone what goes where in terms of boy-on-girl sex from this side of the equation – before forcing himself to still. He's not really scared, and he's not going to let nerves get in the way. Not now. He'd never have let Dick this close if he didn't want this. Want him.

And he does. Even…like this.

Besides…it feels really, really good.

Dick loves him. And right now, Dick wants him. Maybe, if he's really, really lucky – and acts a bit more upbeat in the next few days, cracking a few jokes, layering on the sexual innuendo to keep Dick interested – Dick will keep wanting him.

And maybe, just maybe…he'll figure out how to make Dick fall in love with him.

This Robin's already there.


THE END