Hey peoples! This is my new totally random ficcie! It's about a spell cast on the residents of Hogwarts (courtesy of Fred and George) that has turned all the boys into PERVERTS! Ok, let's go!

Chapter 1

The Twins Get An Idea

Fred and George Weasley, being perverts themselves, have always been excluded from everything (dances, dates, etc.) because none of the girls want them there. Now they live and work at the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and have an unlimited supply of girls and money. Not a good sign.

Fred sat lounging on a nice cushiony chair, chewing frog legs and humming "Weasley is our King." George sat a little ways off, with a beautiful witch in each arm and a pacifier in his mouth (?).

Fred said to his brother, "Want to do something?"

"Like what?" George asked.

"Like… something perverted."

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

Fred considered. "Like hanging Voldemort's boxers on a flagpole."

"Nah, we did that last week."

Fred was surprised. "We did? Oh, that would explain the Death Eater's banging on our door right now, trying to kill us."


Crabbe and Goyle (the old ones) are staring at the door, stupefied. "Why won't you open?" Crabbe asked.

The door said nothing.

(back inside)

Fred said, "Do you think they'll ever figure out that they need to turn the handle?"

"No." George removed the pacifier and started picking his teeth.

Fred thought for a minute. "Ok, we need to do something perverted. It's like our religion."

Suddenly George got an idea. "Let's turn all the boys at Hogwarts into perverts!"


The two women with George exchanged looks and left the shop. They would have better luck with Crabbe and Goyle.

The perverted twins were down in their cellar, cooking up a highly diabolical, totally illogical potion.

"Let's throw in some newt eyes!"

"Yeah, and some spider legs!"

"Oooh, and some caterpillars!"

"Not to mention some frog legs! Yummy!"

"Oh, and let's not forget the strawberry jam!"

Fred stopped and glared at George. "We're highly sophisticated perverted wizards, and you want to throw in strawberry jam? That's not even magical!"

George said, "Oh! Sorry. What do you suggest?"

"Some GRAPE jam!"

The twins threw in the grape jam and mixed feverishly, laughing maniacally. They tasted it and got even more perverted.

Miles away, Professor Dumbledore was sitting in his study with McGonagoll, doing… something dirty. Suddenly he stopped and said, "I sense a disturbance in the force."

Ok, how was it? Review me. This is just a tester. If you all like it, let me know and I'll continue it! I promise the chapters will be longer! R&R, no flames please.