"I think he's coming to, dudes!" Skidd said, excited as he leaned over the bed.

"You think?" Helga blabbered.

Ratchet's eyes were only half open, and he was already being spat on (accidentally) by Helga. He sat up quickly.

"Whoa! Easy, Ratchet!" Al gently shoved Skidd aside so he could grab the lombax's shoulder. "You took quite a fall."

"I'm fine," Ratchet calmly said as he pulled the wires from his arm. "Seriously this time."

He was back in the infirmary, sitting on the bed he was in earlier, this time, unrestrained. Again, all the wounds he received were healed by Nanotech. Everyone else was present too.

"Ratchet, it is good to see you awake," Clank greeted pleasantly from the stool he stood on.

"We have a lot of explaining to do," Qwark said with a roll of his eyes.

"Like, where the heck do we begin, man?" Skidd couldn't help but smile as he palmed his forehead/visor.

"I'll start," Sasha said.

"Finally," Qwark said loudly. "I've been working my butt for the past--"

Sasha was glaring at him again.

"….," he 'zipped his mouth shut' and sat on another bed.

"There was a probe inside you that took over your nervous system," Sasha announced, her hands behind her back professionally. "This caused you to see, hear, and feel Nefarious when he wasn't even there."

"That explains a few things," Ratchet rubbed his head. "And the annoying headache."

"Another side-effect was your frustrated behaviour and useless determination."

Qwark scoffed, "Pffft. More like ten times a time of the m--"



"It was used against enemies during war years ago," Al said. "It only became illegal two Kerwan decades ago."

"Where is this…..'probe'?" Ratchet asked.

"Right here," Al held out a plastic container. "It's microscopic, but can't get through this baby. I have a lot of deprogramming to do before I send it to one of the galaxy's suns."

"But how did that thing get inside me?" Ratchet questioner.

"There are many ways," this time Clank spoke. "Injections through needles--"

"Dude! Enough with the needles!"

"Sorry, Skidd. It can also enter your body, through dust… from another victim--it can travel on its own once the victim has died--… food…drink…laser beams--"

"That's it!" Ratchet interrupted. "I remember!"

"Of course….," Al also recalled. "The rangers said they saw you getting zapped by a--"

"--laser beam from the mechs," Ratchet finished. "It was yellow in colour, and everything started right after that."

"What about the tyhrranoids?" Helga demanded.

"Yeah," Qwark nodded. "What about those?"

"You got me there, man," Skidd agreed.

"I must say I am also ignorant," Clank droned.

Skrunch shrugged, "Hwa-ha."

Al and Sasha knew.

"When you were unconscious, I received a call from Commissioner David," Sasha explained. "He and his men found a bunker on Tyhrranosis. There, they discovered a holographic device that showed a recording of Dr. Nefarious. It said that a plan had been conducted, and certain tyhrranoids were sent to their designated areas. There was also a particular time at which attacks were to begin."

"Specifically, five mechs were sent here," Al continued for her. "Examination on the parts you left behind after dealing with them showed traces of lasers that had probes. Anything zapped would either become infected or die."

"The thing's light-sensitive," Sasha moved on. "It cannot cause anything to happen in the presence of light."

"Explaining why you were all insane when it was dark," Qwark said.

"So….," Ratchet had all the information he needed, "…all that yelling…and the pain…..and the intolerance and so on…..was for nothing?" he looked apologetic. "Guy's I'm so sor--"

"No need to say 'sorry'," Qwark stopped him with a raised hand. "You can just do my laundry for the next ten months."

"……," everyone glared at him.

"Fine," Qwark stood up with Skrunch on his shoulder, "I'll go."

He left the room quietly.

"The effects should be gone now," Al stated.

Ratchet uncovered himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Let's check," he said as he approached the light switch. The room went dark for a moment before Ratchet switched the lights back on. He sighed, "I've been fighting Nefarious for so long…. He's unlike any other villain I've ever faced. Even if he's Qwark's main villain, it sometimes feels like I'm the only one looking for him. Like I'm all alone.

"Ratchet, you are never alone," Clank jumped down from the stool.

"And if Nefarious does ever show up," Al mentioned, "we'll be ready."

"Thanks," the lombax smile happily for the first time in hours.

"Why don't you take a breather, bro?" Skidd suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea," he was about to leave, when--


"Hmmm?" Sasha had called him.

"…..," she smirked smugly. "And we'll talk about your little smoking habit in the morning."

Ratchet blushed, "Uh…..yeah." He exited the room.

Helga yawned noisily.

"I agree," Skidd looked ready to collapse. "I'm so tired, I can barely--" FWUMP! He fell on a bed, snoring.

"I think we could all use some sleep," Sasha said.

"I agree. My systems tell me that I require charging," Clank trotted towards the door. "I bid you all a good night."

"Me too!" Helga had Skidd over her shoulder. They were gone.

Sasha was about to leave. She stopped by the doorframe, "Coming, Al?"

He didn't answer. He was looking at the container.

"Al? Something wrong?"

"Tyhrranoids aren't good with remote controls, are they?" Al asked without looking at her.

"No. Heck, I don't even think that Dr. Nefarious managed to teach them that."

"……I see."

"Al?" she cocked an eyebrow. "What's up?"

He turned to face her with a grief expression on his face, "The probe didn't trigger itself. Somebody triggered it…. From outside the Phoenix."

Appendix table of contents

Similarities and Differences
Commissioner David


I got the idea for this fanfic when I saw Haunted, an episode of Teen Titans about Robin's obsession with Slade and whatnot. I did the similar thing in this story, but I also did my best to change it a little, to prevent it from looking like some Ratchet and Clank parody of Teen Titans.

Those changes are:

Extra scenes; the long conversation Sasha had with the others via transmission, the walk though the forest before the ambush, the dramatic scene, and so on.

Some reviewers--and when I say 'some', I mean almost all of them--told me about this similarity and that I was copying. True. I was only irritated by the fact that they don't read each other's reviews; I got the same comment more than once.

Haunted is one of my favourite episodes of Teen Titans. It's good to take a break from all the kid stuff. The episode X is similar. I actually had this other idea to that one as well. Someone would be stealing expensive stuff while wearing Angel's old costume, and all that jazz. I scrapped it though, knowing that once is more than enough.

So…some authors who never saw the episode will think that I'm not the least bit creative? Maybe they will; maybe they won't. I did my best to express what was going on here, but the opinions are all up to them. I just enjoyed writing this, is all.

Similarities and Differences

The story starts with Ratchet looking at monitors, which display images of certain parts of the galaxy. The same for Robin, only he's looking at three while Ratchet is looking at seven. Al/Cyborg comes in and tells him to stop and that Nefarious/Slade is gone and to stop obsessing. Then, things change. The conversation Ratchet and Al share is much longer than the one Robin and Cyborg have. Teen Titans has to respect the half-hour while I could make it as long as I want. An alarm is triggered. The Titans are there immediately, while I gave a forty-second conversation.

The probe had to get inside our hero somehow, right? Right! Robin got it from the dust from Slade's old mask. Cyborg said it was 'some kind of neural agent'. Ratchet got it by laser when a group of tyhrranoid mechs invaded the Phoenix and zapped him.

Everyone noticed around Chapter 5. However, Ratchet had to get away from the group, right? So, I had a tyhrranoid hit him and send him flying over a hill, just like Robin during a battle with Cinderblock. Ratchet is knocked unconscious while the Boy Wonder is as sharp as ever.

Robin chases Slade, and jumps from tree to tree. More or less like Ratchet and Nefarious, save the Swingshot. Ratchet and Nefarious spoke a lot during battle, Slade didn't utter a word, while Robin just said 'Rrrgh!". Three devices of destruction are announced with a time limit before activation. The scene ends with Qwark/Beast Boy interrupting.

Basically, Qwark and Beast Boy are both irritated by the fact that Ratchet and Robin ditched the battle.

"Great. Now, I have a cold."-Beast Boy

Qwark didn't catch a cold. I'm surprised Ratchet didn't either. After all, he was running around in the rain while half naked.

"We're going after Nefarious."-Ratchet

Just like Robin. XD

Sending everyone away except for one (Starfire/Clank) was another copy. Ratchet and Robin are both annoyed, they're both, aggressive, and they both could use an ice-cream. Clank is sent away while Starfire watches Robin fight an invisible dude. I decided to have Ratchet alone, cuz, as said earlier, I didn't want EVERYTHING to be the same. Nefarious sneers into Ratchet's face, giving him a warning, while Slade runs away. Which one's more of a man? Neither. Slade ran away, and Nefarious has no genitals. XD

"You are never alone."-Slade

Ooooooh! Scaaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Chapter 7 was a little similar to the scene in the City. The four Titans meet and discus the absurdity of the generators Slade has placed around the city. They know where to find him, and go there. Sasha chats with the group MSN style.

Robin doesn't smoke. Ratchet does.

In Chapter 8 there's a fight at the Leviathan. This is similar to Robin and Slade's fight at the place with the gears and crap (OMG!). Robin's butt is kicked, as is Ratchet's. The difference here is a new device Nefarious has that allows him to take the form of anything he chooses.

"but nefaroius nevar saw cheynbleid and d thug leader ur stupid"-Reviewer with mental constipation

Quite true. This might have suggested that Nefarious could read minds. No, the probe in Ratchet's head just projected the things he remembered.

Just like Teen Titans, the fight stopped when Al, Clank, Qwark, Skidd, and some rangers came along to see him playing charades.

"What I saw was you playing a game of charades at a stupid time in a carcase of a ship!"-Captain Qwark

Wow, that was smart.

Unlike Teen Titans, Nefarious is about to shoot Al and slit Qwark's throat. No one except Ratchet sees this, and he's even more pissed about it.

Another similarity here is Ratchet getting zapped by his best friend. Same for Robin.

Both wake up in a medical bed. Ratchet is stripped of all his clothes except for his trousers. Robin is fully clothed. Robin overhears Starfire and Cyborg talking outside. Ratchet is visited by Sasha, then Nefarious. Both scenes end with sharp, medical tools and the main character missing. The scene I wrote is long and dramatic, while Teen Titans had a super short one.

Raven sees what Robin sees thanks to her telekinetic powers. Al sees what Ratchet sees thanks to a microscopic camera he injected into him. Raven and Al jump back from Slade's and Nefarious' punch.

RavenxAl 4ever lolololololololololol!

As usual, I made a longer scene with Nefarious screwing around with Ratchet's emotions by transforming into his friends (and Qwark and Helga).

"I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind."-Slade

"I'm the thing that keeps you up at night, the nefarious evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind."-Nefarious

These are almost the same.

Ratchet discovers that Nefarious isn't really there after all. He switches a reading lamp on--which would have been cooler if we saw one in the first chapter--gets rid of the screensavers, activates the lights of the beds, switches on the holo-vid, and hits the main switch to the lights. Nefarious burrs out of existence and the problem is almost solved. Robin just hits a frickin' switch.

"Lights out, Slade."-Robin

"Lights out, Nefarious."-Ratchet

RobinxRatchet 4ever lololololololololololololololol!

And how could we leave the final explanation out? I won't bother with this junk at all, other than:

"The probe didn't trigger itself. Somebody triggered it, from outside the Tower."-Cyborg

"The probe didn't trigger itself. Somebody triggered it….from outside the Phoenix."-Al

CyborgxRavenxAl triangle 4ever lolololololololololololololololol!


People had problems with this, so I minimised it to a few simple POW!s, CLANK!s and WHAM!s. I will, however, feature it in other fanfics. I only cut down in this one, because I was asked to. It might happen again some other time.

Commissioner David

Was it a good idea to have this guy's name mentioned? Probably not. This guy's the robotic Commissioner of the Galactic Police Force. Ratchet's not the only symbol of law, y'know. David also has a Lieutenant who's kinda nervous around him. These two had a cameo appearance at the end of It runs in the family, and will have bigger roles in the sequel.

I didn't actually include Commissioner David was because:

1. Despite his rank, he swears a lot. Although I have no problem with swearing in fanfiction, I felt that this fanfic should be devoid of swearing. It was only rated T, because of the blood in Chapter Two, which I'm not very proud of.

2. I wanted this fanfic to include Insomniac Characters only. No OCs and certainly no crossovers.

Commissioner David and the Lieutenant will feature in any Ratchet and Clank fanfics I choose.


Mr. D 91 smiled, "Whoo! Finally done." He clicked the mouse and the last chapter to a story was uploaded. "Now…," he began with his fingers on the keyboard, "…time to write something e--"


He sighed, "Great." He got off his swivel chair and went to the door.

Two officers stood, waiting.

"Can I help you?" Mr. D 91 asked, wondering why two officers were at his door.

"We're looking for a…," one officer began. He looked at a piece of paper from his pocket, "'Mr. D 91'."

"Oh," he smiled slightly, "you're talkin' to 'im."

"I'm Officer Jameson," he showed his badge. "And this is my partner Officer Smith," he gestured at the silent cop, who also showed his badge.

"Wazzup?" Mr. D 91 asked.

"We've received word that you're writing a fanfic called 'Return?' from the Commissioner's sources," Jameson explained. "Says it's based on an episode of Teen Titans. The episode called 'Haunted'. Is that right?"

"Yup," Mr. D 91 smiled proudly. "Just finished it today."

"I think you had better come with us."

"Say what?"

"You're in violation of Chapter Eighty-eight, Subsection L….."

Mr. D 91 looked at Officer Smith on confusion.

The silent policeman simply shrugged.

"….Paragraph Fourteen, Line Seven: Copying an episode without permission and not admitting it."

"But I wrote it down in the Appendix!" Mr. D 91 defended.

"You'll have plenty of time to explain yourself down at the station," Jameson droned.

"Now way, man! I ain't goin' to the station!"

Jameson sighed in a bored fashion, "Resisting arrest. Zap 'im, Smith."

Smith pulled out a taser from his pocket.

Mr. D 91's eyes widened, "NO! WAIT--!"


"Ugh!" Mr. D 91 fell to the ground, his blackened body smoking.

"Help me carry him to the car, Smith."

Smith nodded and bent over to help his partner.


Well, that's it then. I'm done with this. It was fun writing, but I was losing interest in it as I wrote the last chapter. Good thing it was at the end.

Stay tuned for more stories by me.

-Mr. D 91