By now the tears had begun to well up and push themselves to the brink of her eyes, as she turned around to push him off of her a silent tear fell slowly painting the side of her face with the sadness and love of their relationship. She felt the tear being released. She felt it glide purposefully down her cheek into the corner of her lip. Harm's eyes were focused intently on her arms as she tried to pull free, not seeing the tear drop. It wasn't until another one fell from her eyelashes, following the path carved by the previous but dropping off her face on to his wrist rather than into her lips, that he noticed she had begun to cry. His eyes were like intense balls of fire both desiring and inquiring at the same time—loving and wanting, to both understand and to feel. Harm loosened his grasp on her forearms and felt her slide away from him. He couldn't keep her here against her will. He decided to try a different approach, rather than physically "restraining" her he took his hand and lightly brushed away the newest tear that had formed with his finger. He tucked his index finger under her jaw as his thumb followed the path so many tears had taken to stain her face. Her gaze was drawn from the floor up to his hand then his eyes which were focused on the fine details of her face, then back to his hand. She had wanted to lean into his hand with every ounce of herself but couldn't muster the strength to let go…to make that leap of faith and know that he would be there to catch her should she fall.
Some people just could not understand what it feels like to be so afraid. She has given her heart to so many only to have it destroyed on countless occasions—she had begun to think (and worse feel) as though there was no way someone could love her without hurting her or vice-versa. She felt like the bubonic plague those she let near died suddenly or suffered agony for weeks before dying. She wanted so much to be loved, to be treasured…to be appreciated but they idea of being "let down" yet again was keeping her from leaning into the man before her.
He stared at her trying to find the right words, wanting so desperately to convey his emotions but terrified of fumbling over himself and losing his possibly last shot. He knew if he didn't say something soon that she would walk out of that door and jump to conclusions about what had just happened. He knew her well and she him, but neither knew one another enough to realize that they both had the same fears and the same desires. All he could muster at the moment was a smile, a small loving smile with which he hoped would bide him some time to think of something, something that may save them both from the agony of themselves.
They both knew that they were their own worst enemies, hazards to themselves. Neither one speaking yet both hoping they were getting the emotional subliminal message they were screaming at the top of their lungs—a message than seemed to bypass the vocal cords once again leaving them speechless. Mac began to slowly back away realizing he wasn't going to say anything, and realizing that there was very little he could say that would keep her from "running". As a marine she typically faces problems straight up, that is what she is trained to do, but yet as Sarah—as the woman with a fragmented heart the only useable training is self-preservation—survival. If she could just survive this night, if she could only make it to the door, to her car, to her apartment she would be able to "regenerate" herself.
She bent back down to pick her things up from the floor, only to be greeted by Harm kneeling on the floor to pick up her lipstick and other scattered things from her purse. He gave her a thoughtful smile, once again hoping to bide time. His brain screamed at him to think of something and to think of something fast. She took the things from his hand and placed them into her purse. As their hands grazed over one another they paused, glanced at each other trying to convey similar messages—S.O.S. that went unanswered. She stood up and he followed. She turned and headed out the door, giving a small glance over her shoulder with one foot out the door Harm stepped forward and yelled "Mac…Sarah…