A/N - MUST READ: I'm so sorry, this is all very awful. I've recently lost the motivation I had for this pairing, and thus, abandoned it. I apologize to all the people that read it and waited for it to be updated. I've decided to delete all other chapters, so I can gradually edit them and re-post them. I went back and looked at the story, and it was absolutely horrifying. It was written when I was much younger and was just getting the hang of writing, after all. I may or may not add a few new chapters after I've finished with the old ones, but we shall see. There were originally 12 chapters to this story, and it was unfinished, so proceed at your own risk.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Never have and probably never will.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

The wind swept her hair around in the cold wind. It was freezing outside, the leaves swayed to and fro, almost in a dance. She shivered, but for the life of her, could not react otherwise. She was numb and her face betrayed no emotion. Her eyes however, were a different story. They were clouded and guarded, but there was no denying the sorrow in her eyes.

She looked at her watch, eyes widening slightly as she saw the time.

She was late.


Her heart raced as seconds passed by, the cold whipped at her face, the sting was punishing and she winced as her feet pounded against the hard dirt ground as she ran. She arrived at a tall door, weathered and beat down. It had once been painted red, but the paint was chipping now and instead of the loving aura it once gave off, it only left a sense of foreboding in her. She grabbed the knob, her hand slipping and she discovered that her palm was sweaty. Taking a deep breath, she wiped off her sweaty palm on her pants and once again attempted to open the door. The door creaked and for a second she paused, her head cocked to the side, listening for any sounds. She slipped inside quickly, her feet barely making any noise.

She was halfway down the hallway when a strong push sent her flying into the wall. Her eyesight flashed as her head hit the wall painfully and the hooks of a coat hanger dug into her back. A strong arm pinned her by her shoulder to the wall.

She closed her eyes, muscles tensing up as she tried to not let her fear show. She sucked in a breath when she was pushed further into the coat hanger and flinched when she felt a harsh breath upon her face. She tried to pull away from the rank breath but the hold on her shoulder ensured she stay put.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"Out," she responded softly.

"You think this is a game? Be more specific!"he said roared as he grabbed her hair and pulled painfully.

She whimpered but remained silent, knowing that no matter what she said, the outcome would be no different than usual.

"You better tell me where the hell you've been!"he sneered.

"I went to visit my friend," she said with a scoff.

He slapped her, and she fell to the ground. She looked up at him in defiance.

The man before her panted as he unbuckled his belt, he gave her a swift kick to the ribs. She cried out as she hunched over. The man brought the belt up high, and it fell unforgivably against her back. She remained hunched over, biting her lip so she wouldn't cry out at the sting as the belt fell against her arms, again and again. He soon grew bored and threw the belt away and at this point, she finally tried crawling away because she knew what came after.

He grabbed her hands a and pinned her down with one of his as he straddled her, his free hand tore open her shirt as she struggled helplessly. His hand reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cable. She squirmed as it came into view.

He brought it down and the best defense she could do was putting her hands in front of her face. She gasped in pain as she felt the sting of the sharp wire. She felt the blood dripping and for a moment, she even though that she could hear the drops it as it fell onto the ground.

He stopped and she sighed in relief but it didn't last for long. He stood up and kicked her ribs once more and she tried grabbing his foot to stop it from connecting to her body. He dropped down and slapped her in the face, taking advantage that she let her front down. The pain was suddenly becoming too much and she let out a loud choking sob.

It was much worse today than usual. This time, she really thought she was going to die. She turned her head in defeat.

Her eyes caught on a small form on the floor

Her wand.

She tried ignoring the pain coursing through her body as she crawled towards it, her hands reaching out. She got thrown off slightly as she felt a bruising punch on her cheek. Cradling her bruised cheek, she closed her fingers around the slim stick. She felt the spark of magic running through her and she held onto it as she was throw back into the wall. She kicked out and the man cried out as her foot connected to his groin.

She turned around and faced the man that was also trying to stand up.

She knew it would come to this eventually.

It was either him or her. And her instinct to survive was much stronger.

Kneeling, she grabbed her wand tightly and screamed out "Avada Kadevra!"

The man dropped to the floor with his lifeless eyes looking upwards. She struggled to stand up and shuffled slowly towards the man, tears running down her face, the salt stinging her wounds. She gripped her wand tightly, her knuckles turning white.

She looked into the face of her father.

"Why?" she whispered faintly to herself. Overwhelmed by what she had done she collapsed down onto the floor, all strength leaving her.

Seconds later, Hermione saw robed wizards barge in through the door, their wands held in their hands and then her vision went black as she lost all consciousness.


Today was finally the day of Hermione's trial. So many thoughts ran through her head, but she tried ignoring them all for none of them helped at all. It was all just too much to bear.

She arrived at the Ministry escorted by Professor Dumbledore.

"Severus made veritaserum, the Ministry had to validate the credibility of it. The minister will ask you some questions while you are under the truth serum's magic," Professor Dumbledore informed her gravely.

Her throat closed up so she could only nod to show that she had understood.

She entered the room, the light almost blinding. Many other times, she would've gone in with her head held up high. But now, Hermione didn't have the strength to do so, so she bowed her head, Ignoring the stares of the others and she followed and sat with Dumbledore and Snape.

Snape grabbed her roughly by her jaw and deposited two clear drops of the truth serum. It was bitter on her tongue. She felt the cold seeping into her veins and her vision blurred momentarily.

"Hermione Granger...tell us what happened this summer, "demanded Minister Fudge, his voice clearly displeased.

In a monotone voice, she replied "It started when my father picked me up from King's Cross and he was behaving in an odd manner. As soon as we arrived at our house I then realized that my mother was not present, which was weird because she has always been there, waiting. As both of us entered the house I realized that something was not right, everything felt entirely too empty. My father informed me that she was killed by death eaters and he blamed me. "

At this point, Hermione's voice cracked but continued on.

"My father wasn't the same after that...my mother's death had left him distraught. He changed completely, but in some ways I still considered him my father. I did blame myself for my mother's death...if I had just been there, maybe I could've done something. Maybe I could've saved her. Maybe none of this would've had happened.

"On that day I had gone out, I couldn't stand being in my house anymore, anywhere was better than with my father. I lost track of time and...when I realized this, I began to worry. I tried sneaking in, but it appeared that my father was already waiting for me. He yelled at me and began to beat me, hitting whatever part of me he could get his hands on. I didn't have a way of defending myself...and that's when I saw my wand on the floor. He tried to stop me from getting it but I was determined. So I killed him, in a way of defending myself because it was the only way I'd ever be safe."

After she was finished she started to feel the effects of the serum disappearing. A drop fell upon her hand and she brushed it away with surprise. She hadn't realized she was crying. She wiped away her tears, clenching her jaw as she glanced at her audience. She lowered her eyes as soon that they were all staring at her with remorse.

She didn't want nor need their pity.

"She's telling the truth of course, you did happen to check the serum yourself...yes?" Dumbledore questioned with a twinkle in his eyes.

Minister Fudge nodded his head mutely.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

As she walked out of the Ministry she was blinded by flashing lights. She blinked rapidly as she fought the bright spots in her vision. She breathed in deeply, her mouth set into a scowl as she ignored the shouts for attention from the media.



"Hermione Granger is it true?!"

"Miss. Granger a word with you please?"

"We were wondering if we could arrange an interview with you."

She walked on and tried to ignore the cameras flashing in her face.

She took took a sharp turn at a corner and immersed herself in the shadows until she could no longer hear them. She sighed and ran a hand through her curly locks as she lent against the wall.


She bit down on the inside of her cheek, her eyes wide in disbelief as she stared down at "The Daily Prophet".

When she looked up, she caught a flash of anger in her eyes as her eyes fell upon her mirror.

Looking down, she rechecked the Prophet, hoping that the article she had seen before wasn't actually there.

"Hermione Granger...did she really kill her father?"

Rita Skeeter

It is to be said that in Early June Hermione Granger used the killing curse upon her own father. Without thinking it through Hermione Granger decided that killing her father was the easiest way. Rumor has it that Hermione Granger killed her own father because her mother had suffered in an Death Eater incident. Hermione Granger, one of Harry Potter's best friend and top of her class with a life that even Merlin would envy, did she really throw away all of that to just kill her father? Perhaps. Hermione Granger served a few weeks in Azkaban until she arrived at her trial where she was found innocent on behalf of Dumbledore himself. Hermione Granger would continue to go to Hogwarts where she will be -

She stopped reading it, her hands clenching the paper in her hands as they shook in anger. She thew the paper at the wall, and cursed.

"People need to learn to mind their own goddamn business."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

She walked down the streets of Diagon Alley, finally enjoying the fresh air. She hadn't been able to enjoy the fresh air in a long while it seemed, but she wasn't going to hide away like a hermit any longer. She had her pride and she if she hadn't cared what people had thought of her before, she certainly didn't care now. She wouldn't let her father's death ruin the rest of her life. She had had enough of grievances. Her father had died a long before she had even uttered those words.

She ignored the glances that people were throwing at her. Ironically, she now understood how Harry felt when they accused him of being a nut case for believing that Voldermort had returned.

She marched through, head held up, determined not to pay any mind to the glares thrown at her behind her back.

She walked into "Flourish and Blotts" to gather her 7th year books. Her fingers fingered the hard textbooks and she sighed in relief in finally being surrounded by something familiar. The musk of the books was heavenly.

She tensed as she felt a prick at the back of her neck, her hair rising up. She turned around and gripped her wand tightly in her hand as soon as she saw the blond hair. She glared up at that cocky smirk, Malfoy's eyes narrowed gleefully.

"Well if it isn't our dearest mudblood murderer," drawled Malfoy.

Of course peace wasn't always possible, she thought to herself, mentally sighing.

She didn't want to cause a scene, Malfoy was never worth it and she didn't need to bring any more attention to herself.

She pushed past him but not before reaching up and whispering in his ear.

"One wrong slip, Malfoy. Don't tempt me."

She walked off to purchase her books before he could respond.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

Hermione turned on the lights in her room, and quietly closed the door behind her. She put down her purchases on her bed, and sat down on, exhausted She pulled off her shoes and laid down on the bed, her hands running over her face. She was more than tired, mentally as well as physically. She was tired of worrying whether Harry and Ron would shun her, she was tired of thinking about everything. She was tired of the memories, of her dreams, of running away. She closed her eyes, anxious for a moment of reprieve and slowly drifted off.

She wandered along aimlessly, completely lost. She had no idea where she was and what little light that came from the moonlight didn't help at all. She stumble and almost fell, she caught herself and felt stone beneath her hand. She squinted and saw a tombstone. She looked around and found herself surrounded by many others. She was in a cemetery. Her stomach clenched and churned in fear.

She felt a cold stare on her back and she gulped as she ran. She tripped and fell, skinning her knees. She hissed in pain and searched for her wand but realized she didn't have it with her.

She had fallen in front of a tombstone and for a moment, she had forgotten about the eyes watching her. She traced the tombstone and tried reading the name. It was hard to make out, but a feeling within her needed to know whose name it was. She was scared but she need to know.

She didn't know why but she did. The wind was blowing wildly and Hermione clutched her robes closer to her, trying to ward off the chilly breeze.

A cold hand suddenly rested upon her shaking shoulders. Startled and trembling in fear, the pair of hands turned her to face them and she found herself looking into a pair of dark red slits. A smirk formed upon serpentine lips and before she could scream out, Voldermort grabbed his wand.


Hermione gasped in fear and shot up in her bed. She panted heavily and the sheets tangled themselves around her body, her body in a cold sweat. Shudders racked her body as she disentangled herself from her sheets. She tried catching her breath but felt as if she couldn't breath. She stumbled up on her feet, the cold of the hardwood floor shooting through her as she shuffled into the bathroom.

She walked into the bathroom and turned on the lights, the light blinding her for a few seconds until her vision righted itself.

Hermione pale face stared back at her. She turned on the sink, gathered the water in her hands and splashed cold water on her face. She lent against the sink and tried to calm herself down.

"Just a dream...only a dream..."

She rested her head on the cold tile of the bathroom floor and whispered it to herself many times, trying to comfort herself.


She sat in her own compartment, watching the landscape blur as the train rode on.

No letters, no word from Harry or Ron.

They had deserted her, not publicly, but they had done so either way.

Hermione knew. They weren't her friends anymore.

She tried ignoring the other presence in the compartment but found the ongoing staring disconcerting.

"Malfoy what do you want?" she asked without turning to look at the blond Slytherin prince.

"How did you know that it was me without even turning around?"He asked sitting across from her.

"Just a feeling."

He looked at her with interest, his eyes looking studying her features as he asked "Did you really mean what you said back in Flourish and Blotts?"

She turned away and looked at the window.

Yes, she did.

For a few minutes there was silence, while she tried to avoid looking at Malfoy while Malfoy tried to get her attention.

She didn't even turn her head once she heard heard Malfoy step out again.

Good riddance.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Hermione ignored all the glances people were stealing at her as soon as she stepped out of the train. She had gotten used to it by now. She had learned how to not let the stares bother her, otherwise, she'd probably go mad. She adjusted the collar of her stiff oxford shirt and patted down her skirt and walked past all of the gossip-mongers. She walked into a lonely carriage and sat down without noticing that somebody else was there also.

"Now I wonder why we keep on meeting like this."

Hermione almost wanted to cry out to the sky at the unfairness of running into Malfoy once, let alone twice.

Instead, she said nothing and turned her head towards the window.

As soon as the carriage stopped, she got up and left without saying anything to Malfoy.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

As Hermione entered the Great Hall all eyes turned on her and watched as she sat at the deserted end of Gryffindor table. Not many people sat down there, preferring instead to sit amongst friends who they haven't seen all summer. She made herself comfortable and crossed her legs, adopting an indifferent visage looking everywhere but not looking at anything at the same time.

She felt all their eyes searing themselves onto her back, burning holes into the back of her head. The daggers of their cold stares pierced her skin, but not her soul. Never. She wouldn't let them take her down anymore than they already had.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

She walked slowly to the dormitories, not in any hurry to get to her room where she had no doubt she'd be gossiped about. She ran her hand down the cold walls of Hogwarts as she walked, having missed Hogwarts terribly. She'd hug the banisters if she could.

The paintings smiled at her and waved, welcoming her back to school and she gave a small smile until arriving at the portrait of the Fat Lady.

She muttered the password and walked in without a word to anybody, her eyes warming slightly as she took in the gold and red decor. Before she knew it, she had arrived at the dorms, and she let herself inside, walking quickly to her bed where she fell upon it in a heap and tiredly closed her curtains.

"...You should never judge a book by it's cover"

There was no use in feeling sorry for herself, she knew, because things just couldn't get any worse. The sooner she learned to deal with it, the stronger she would become in the end. She had no qualms about where this would take her. She had no family to speak of and her friends had all left her. But she wouldn't complain. She couldn't. She never was one to do so and she wouldn't start now. Hermione Granger was stronger than this, despite her misgivings. It didn't matter if everyone hated her, hating herself was one thing she wouldn't ever do.

The soft creaking of the door caught her attention. She heard the creaking of footsteps on the stairs. She closed her eyes to block out everything else.

Hermione soon heard the whispers and the giggles of the girls as they started talking. She could feel their stares penetrate the thick curtains around her bed, but she simply rolled on to her side and closed her eyes as she heard the rustling of the girls changing into their night clothes.

Hermione pulled her pillow over her head.

The whispers and giggles got louder, and hard as she tried tuning them out they'd get even louder. The anger boiled through her body, heating her veins and her heart started pumping wildly. She bit her lip down and tasted the rust of blood as she bit down too hard. Her vision blurred and she blinked rapidly in confusion to try to clear her head.

She jumped up in her bed when she heard a loud clash and the screams.

She peeked through her curtains and ignored the sniffling of some of the girls. The room still had enough light and Hermione's mouth fell open as the smoke in the room cleared.

Lightning had struck the middle of the room.


Groggily, Hermione opened her eyes and felt the rays of the sun hitting her face. She stretched and groaned, feeling the loss of sleep slip away from her mind. She tried holding on to its beautiful strands but found that she couldn't. Sighing, she opened up her curtains, squinting as the sun rays hit her eyes. She rubbed her eyes, cleaning them from sleep and tossed her legs to the side of the bed as she grabbed her things. She quietly made her bed, hearing the soft snores of the other girls. She stopped momentarily as she remembered the odd occurrence last night and looked at the black mark in the middle of the room.

She shook her head, confused, but just brushed it off.

Stranger things have happened, after all.

Hermione walked into the bathroom, struggling to put one feet before the other, sleepiness still clouding her mind.

She felt the cold of the tiles send shivers up her spine. the pitter-pattering of her feet hitting the tiles softly. She turned the knobs of the shower and brushed her teeth as the water warmed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and narrowed her eyes at small bruise on her shoulder. She glanced at it, confused at to where it had come from. She looked closer into the mirror and raised an eyebrow. Either her eyesight was going bad or the lighting was a tricky mistress, because her eyes looked lighter than their usual color. She spat out her toothpaste and attributed the strangeness to the lighting. She hurried up to strip off her clothes, goosebumps rising up as the cold hit her skin. She stepped into the shower and felt the relief as the hot water hit her back, the sharp pins massaging away the stress of the weeks. Her eyes fell closed in ecstasy but she stiffened as soon as she saw her mother's face behind her closed eyes. A few tears escaped and she let out a loud mournful moan.

The one thing that could break her down.


Hermione checked her timetable and saw that she was late to Potions. The best way to start off the first day back to class, of course. She groaned mentally, she hated potions.

She grabbed her bag and rushed to class, the usual crowded hallways sounded so empty at this time. She entered the room and ran into Professor Snape.

"Ms. Granger so kind of you to join us. That would be detention with me at 7:00p.m. Sharp." Professor Snape sneered down at her.

She raised an eyebrow and gave a soft grunt in acknowledgement.

She looked around the room for a seat, and spotted the seat next to Malfoy empty. The last seat left. She walked over and sat herself down, ignoring the usual stares boring into her back.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo


He strolled down with authority and a sneer on his face and took his usual seat between Pansy and Blaise. He piled food onto his plate as he ignored Pansy's inane chattering by his side. He grunted a greeting at Blaise and bit into his roll. The usually loud hall suddenly went unusually silent.

Draco lifted his head up from his plate when he heard whispers across the room replace the silence.

Hermione Granger had just walked in.

She walked over to the deserted area of the table and sat down, paying attention to nobody as per usual.

Draco rolled his eyes at the nonsense of it all and continued eating his food. He would rather spend time eating than staring at Granger, personally.

However, he stopped in mid-chew when he heard a loud crack across the room. He looked over and spotted Granger holding up her cheek. He looked further up and took in the sight of Lavender Brown, hand still in the air.



"You shouldn't have done that. I didn't take my father's crap and I won't take any from you either. No more. You can call me whatever you want, you can treat me however you like. It doesn't matter to me." she rasped out.

Hermione reached into the sleeve of her robe and pulled out her wand and smoothly grabbed her by her jaw and pointed her wand at Lavendar.

"I won't let the likes of you bring me down. I don't need your shit and I don't need whatever you think of me." Hermione whispered harshly in her ear.

Hermione let go of her and gently pushed her back. She turned around and grabbed her bag off the bench, leaving her food untouched. She ignored the glares and walked through the doors, away from them.

Briskly, she walked back to common room. Her hands clenched and unclenched in fury. She wasn't sure what she was angry at, whether it was at Lavendar for thinking she could slap Hermione or whether it was at herself, for losing her temper like that.

Lavendar had slapped her and all Hermione could think of was her father and she knew then she'd be damned if she let anybody think they can beat her anymore. She had had enough of beatings, of people bringing her down. she wasn't going to let herself be tossed around like a rag doll for the enjoyment of anybody else.

She bit down on her lip as she walked down the corridors the fire torches casting their shadows along her. She felt her skin prickle and she knew there was somebody behind her.

She heard the first step. She walked faster but as fast as she was going, the person behind her was matching her pace.

She ran until she finally stood in front of the portrait now and as her hand reached out another reached out behind her and covered her eyes and mouth with a black cloth. She struggled, she kicked and she scratched but it was futile.

Everything went black.


A/N: I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was to even go back and revise this. I had originally posted the story in first person but I realized how stupid it sounded so had to go back and change ALL of that. I think it sounds a lot better now though and am quite proud of how it turned out. I'm not sure whether I'll keep the same plot or if I'll change it over the course of the next chapters. I'll have my fun with it and see where it takes me. I'll put up the next chapters, depending on the response it receives. Any criticism is much appreciated.

Thanks for reading, review and tell me what you think. :)