Warning: SLASH! Lots of it. Do not read if you don't like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n' Eddy.
Ed's Christmas Gift!
Written by Lor and Tiffy
Tis the season to be an Ed, especially in Eddy's scenario, waiting in the halls of Peachcreek High, waiting for his next victim to fall in trapped for one of his half-witted scams he created himself. Eddy stood there, moaning impatiently as students wandered on by his stand of fabricated merchandise, also known as crappy ornaments that he put together. "C'mon, everybody! Custom-made ornaments, only five dollars and seventy-five cents!" He announced in a fake captivated tone, but no one payed any mind to him. Eddy growled in his throat at this and muttered cursings under his breath as he kicked the his stand.
Edd, looking as nerdy as ever in a sweater vest and a little bow-tie, tsked over the top of his biology textbook that he was reading for the fourth time at Eddy. "Don't swear," he chided. "And don't kick that thing again or you'll knock it over, and some of those ornaments are nice. You know, the ones that Ed made. Without your face drawn on them. That you drew when you should have been studying for that test you failed this morning." Edd shook his head a little and turned his attention back to reading about whatever it was that was five chapters ahead of everyone else.
"Bah. Studying." Eddy argued. "I HATE STUDYING, DOUBLE-D!" He then frowned at his intellectual friend. "And quit reading that damn textbook!" He then went over and snatched it way from him and held it high in the air, for you see Eddy had grown quite a deal and is now taller than Edd. "You should be helping me sell these damn things, not be sitting here reading this crap, genius!"
Edd made a noise of protest as suddenly the intestinal processes of obscure insects was gone from his field of view. He frowned and waved his hands in vain at the book out of his reach. "Eddy! Give that back! I like reading it!" He jumped up and down a little and made another angered noise
Eddy smirked at his friend and said; "NYAAH-HAH! Not in chance, Double-Dweeb. You're gonna help me sell these things whether you like it or no--HEY!" Eddy shouted as the text book was taken out of his hand by none other than "tall and lumpy" himself. Eddy growled as Ed gave him a disappointed look. "You shouldn't be mean to Double D, Eddy, nor should you take his book away." Eddy glared at his tall friend and huffed as he went back to his stand. "Whatever, Lumpy." "Okay, Eddy." Ed replied and went over to Edd, smiling. "Here you go, Double D. Here's your book back." And he dusted it off and handed it right over to him.
"Thank you, Ed," Edd said, flipping the pages of the book, squinting. He gasped and held it up in Eddy's face. "You BENT half of chatper nine! You, you.. you mean person!" He huffed and pouted at the book, then looked up at Ed. "Hello, Ed. Where have you been? I've been stranded here with Eddy for twenty minutes."
Ed looked at Eddy who had a bored look on his face, then looked at Edd and smiled. "Oh, I was just talking to my dance teacher, Double D. He said I did great on the dance we did last weekend for the Holidays." "Oh brother." Eddy commented in the background. "You and those gay dance lessons. Ballet is for girls!" Ed looked at him and frowned.
"Eddy," Edd said, giving their loud friend a quirked eyebrow that meant 'don't start this again'. "I think it's wonderful that Ed has something he enjoys. Besides, ballet is a fabulous way for him to express his creativity. You always have to go and crush his dreams, don't you?" He flipped the pages of his textbook again and continued. "Like the time you said his drawings weren't good and you made him cry."
Eddy scowled at him and retorted "What are you talking about, Sock-head! They do suck! I mean, c'mon! Who wants to see God-knows-what with Santa hats on ornaments! I tell you, I don't!" And he threw one down onto the gray drab tiled floor, which landed at Ed's feet and shattered into many shards and pieces. Seeing this, Ed's lip began to quiver and tears began to form out of his eyes and thus the hysterical sobbing began. "Oh, brother." Eddy said in annoyance.
Edd gasped and clapped a hand to his mouth when the ornament shattered on the floor. He turned and glared at Eddy. "EDDY, I'm ASHAMED of you! You apologize to Ed right now!" He looked at Ed and his expression softened. He put his textbook down and put a hand on his tall friend's shoulder. "Ed," he said. "Ed, it's okay. That ornament looked like Eddy's face, anyway." He patted Ed on the shoulder and reached up to wipe a tear off the other boy's face. "Come now Ed, don't cry."
Ed shook as he looked back down at the broken ornament. "B-b-but I put my heart into it, Double D! I put my heart into it!" He wrapped his arms around Edd and clung to him, sobbing onto his shoulder. Eddy looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Gee, Ed. It's just an ornament for Pete's sake. A rather shitty one. Get over it." Ed's bottom lip quivered even more and squeezed his eyelids tightly shut, trying hard to hold the tears in.
Edd glared sideways at Eddy again and gave Ed a comforting pat on the back. "It's alright, Ed, you can make a better one. You can make a much better one, and I promise I'll put it in the best spot on my family's tree, okay? Would you like that?" He smoothed the taller boy's hair and patted him on the back again.
Ed sniffled and then smiled with utter glee and chirped at his friend as he pulled him into a tight, yet, gentle hug. "THANK YOU, DOUBLE-D! THANK YOU THANK YOU! I'LL MAKE YOU THE BEST CHRISTMAS-Y GIFT EVEEEEEEER!" He smiled some more and kept hugging his nerdy friend up close.
Edd smiled and ruffled Ed's hair with the hand that wasn't pinned to his side by his friend's hug. "Thank you, Ed. I'm sure it will be very lovely." He wiggled his fingers on his other hand, to make sure they weren't numb, and spoke again. "What would you like me to get you for Christmas, Ed?"
Ed kept hugging him close, still smiling, but then had a little bewildered look on his face, eyes rolling up to the top as if he was putting real thought into it. "Weeeeeell...hmmmmm..." He then paused some and said "I think I know want I want!" He smiled at his geeky little friend. "I want--" "A chin!" His other bossy friend interrupted and started laughing foolishly at Ed's on expense.
The geeky friend frowned at Eddy for probably the 20th time in the past hour. "Eddy! We've been over this, no being rude to Ed! You know he's sensitive." He stuck out his lower lip in a mock-pout that was trying to relay the message of "STOP IT" but would probably only get some "fat lip" joke from Eddy in response. "..And move your feet! You're standing on my textbook!"
Eddy snorted and took stepped down off of the hardback book. "Well, soooorrrrr-eeeee! Jeez. Why don't you just marry the guy." He then grumbled under his breath about Edd being whiny at him. Ed smiled at that thought. Married. Not just married, but married to Double D, such thoughts made his heart turn into goo and made his inside feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Ed sighed quietly to himself and found himself staring at Edd, who wasn't paying any mind to him. The tall teenager felt his smile broaden as well as his desire to hug him real close once more, but then he felt someone grab his arm and turned him around.
Edd frowned at Eddy still. "Immature jokes again, Eddy? I didn't know caring about my friends was against the rules, but I guess if it's not 'popular' enough for YOU, neither of us can do it either."
Ed stared down at his baby sister, who wore a cute green mini-skirt and a thick coat and red sweater, her red hair all slick and her bangs held back by a matching Holiday flower barrette. "Ed!" She said in a scolding tone. "Yes, baby sister whom I love and cherrish deeply?" Sarah sighed at her brother and began to boss him around, "I need you to go buy some of that sticky fudge at the candy store for Naz's party tonight, got it?" Ed smiled down at his sister and replied "Anything you want, oh dearest sister of mine."
Eddy stared at his friend, glaring at the two siblings and watched as Sarah left, Jimmy still following her behind. "WHY DOES HE ALWAYS TAKE SHIT FROM HER? IF I WERE ED, I'D SOCK IT TO HER!"
Ed waved at his sister as she left and looked at his friends. "Well, guys, I've gotta go buy that sticky fudge for my little sister."
Edd glanced at Eddy, then, deciding he would rather not be stuck hanging out with his rude friend for who knew how long again, looked at Ed and cleared his throat a little. "Um, Ed, you wouldn't mind if I joined you, would you?" He asked.
Ed smiled down at him again and replied "But why of course, Double D!" And he handed him his coat so he wouldn't be cold out in the snowy weather. Eddy groaned at this, but then the thoughts of standing out there alone like a loser got to him and he started to put on his coat as well. "I'll go, too." He mumbled, glancing towards his stand that still no one bought off of.
Edd pretended to gasp and stare wide-eyed at Eddy. "You're actually going to hang out with us! Does this mean extra yelling, too? I'm just tickled with anticipation!" He made a face at Eddy and crossed his arms, still peeved that the formerly-short teen felt the constant need to upset Ed. Sometimes Edd even wondered why he naturally was so protective of the goofy fellow, but those thoughts confused him and he left them to stew in the back of his brain.
Eddy moaned at the nerd. "Whatever, I just wanna go. Beats hanging out here for the rest of this afternoon." Ed smiled at his friend, who is still shorter than he is, and went over and gave him a BIG hug. "YAY! EDDY!" "Hey, hey, put me down, Lumpy!" Eddy whined. "I know your happy, sheesh!" And indeed, Ed was happy, for deep down, he knew he would have both of his closest friends with him. However, Ed was also confused, for you see deep down, he admired them both, but it was more than just a friendship-like admirement and his feelings them always had him ripped between the both of them. Ed felt something for Eddy, a slight crush maybe, something he developed because of his reasoning that he knew Eddy the longest and that they were always best friends and by each other's side, minus the abuse that Eddy always pushed onto him.
However, Edd was a different story, and thinking about him made Ed's heart sore higher than any kite or bird ever flew. For some reason, Ed found himself more attractive to him in the very opposite ways he finds Eddy attractive, thus this is why he is confused on who or which one he likes the most. After all, Double D was always the nicest to him, but he did show signs of awkwardness whenever he got real close to him or perhaps even personal, like when last year Ed kissed him on the cheek under the mistletoe. The poor nerd looked so perturbed that he looked like he couldn't get away fast enough, and that made Ed sad that year and still does today.
Edd retrieved his now slightly trampled and decorated with Eddy footprints textbooks from the floor and looked up in time to watch Ed squeezing the daylights out of Eddy. The short boy felt a little pang of something he wasn't quite used to feeling as he watched his friends' hug. Jealousy? Was he jealous because Eddy was getting a hug and he wasn't? He hadn't read about that and had no idea what his brain was trying to get across to him here. It was probably in one of his books at home, he could read it after the party. He coughed a little to get his friends' attention. "So, candy store..?"
Ed snapped back into reality and let Eddy go and grinned cheesely at Edd. "YAY! CANDY STORE!" He then posed and said "To the fudge!" Eddy stared at him, eyes shifting to see if anyone was around because of embarrassment. Ed then grabbed both of his friends and linked his arms into their's. Eddy pulled away instantly with a shriek, "ED! I don't need anyone to hold my hand like I'm a five year old! We can all walk to the store normally, Lumpy." "Okay, Eddy!" Ed happily replied and let go of Edd's arm and started walking towards the school's steel two front door exit.
Edd blinked for a second before hurrying to catch up with Ed, a strange need to get more attention than Eddy rising in him that made him feel a little bit childish. But he would worry about that later. Right now, Eddy was annoying and Ed was... wonderful? Wonderful worked. "So, Ed," he said. "Do you think everyone's going to be at the party?"
Ed kept smiling as he looked at him. "Well, Double D, usually every year, everyone goes to Naz's parties, so, yeah. I believe so. I can't wait to see all of the happy faces opening up pressies!" He bit his bottom lip and wiggled with glee and skipped right over to the two front doors and held one open for them both. "Right this way, folks!" Eddy strolled over and out he went. "Okay, Lumpy."
Edd scooted through the door onto the school's cement staircase out front. "Thank you, Ed," he said, waiting for Ed to join them before walking off again. He made himself stop thinking about those 'things' he was confused about and concentrated instead on what to get Ed for a present. Eddy would be happy with a jawbreaker and an extra five dollar bill, Ed's present was much more important right now.
Ed waited to see if anyone else was coming and out came Johnny 2x4, Plank still his best imaginary friend. "Thanks, Ed! C'mon, Plank!" He hooted and got on his skateboard and road down the stair's railing. "Whoohooo! See you guys at the party!" And off he went down the sidewalk towards home. Ed smiled at him and waved. "You, too, Johnny!" He stood there and watched as the teen-aged punker disappear off into the distance. Eddy whined impatiently and shouted at him, "C'mon, you idiot! I don't wanna hear Sarah bitch and whine!" Ed turned his attention back to them and smiled. "Coming, Eddy!" And went down stairs to join his bossy friend.
Edd followed Ed down the stairs and looked at Eddy. "Gee, Eddy, you and Sarah are like birds of a feather. And you fight all the time and everything, it's like you're the perfect sitcom couple!" He knew Eddy didn't like anyone talking about him with anyone, regardless of who they were, because.. he was Eddy. Eddy who wanted to be popular and tough and all sorts of things that his brother was. However, he'd only managed to become heavily disliked and quite mean as time went on.
"SHUT UP!" Eddy snapped at him. "There's NO WAY IN HELL that we'd EVER be a couple! You know I hate her guts, SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT!" He then turned to Ed, who looked at him all disappointingly again. "C'mon, Lumpy, let's go get that fudge that brat wants so badly." Ed complied, knowing not to argue with the hot-tempered teen or otherwise, and went on with him and the two began to walk towards the candy store.
Edd snickered at Eddy's instant flying off the handle reaction. "Gee Eddy, you're so defensive," he said, knowing that as long as Eddy didn't start throwing punches he could take him in a verbal fight. "You don't have to be so angry."
Eddy then turned around and sent daggers at him, shaking his fist in anger, which meant 'you better shut up now or else'. Eddy was definately not in the mood to be playing around, after all, their image is important to him and he would rather not be seen as a fool, especially if someone is trying make him look so. Ed smiled at Eddy and wrapped an arm around him. "Aww, c'mon, Eddy. Don't be so glum. It's Christmas Eve!" Eddy huffed and unwrapped Ed's limb. "Don't talk to me about Christmas. It still sucks! I'm older now and I still get clothes!" Ed kept smiling at him and replied "Maybe if you're nice, Santa might get you something niiiiiiice." "Santa?" Eddy looked at his friend like he was ill in the head. "How old are you? Santa's NOT real, Ed. Grow up." "Aww." Edward argued. "Maybe not youuuuu, but to me he iiiiiis." He pinched his cheek affectionately and Eddy slapped his hand away. "Don't do that." He barked.
"Eddy, be nice," Edd scolded automatically. "Just because you don't like your Christmas gifts, you have no right to be rude to Ed." He paused for a second. "More-so than you usually are. You need to work on that."
"Whatever." Eddy snorted as he started to stomp the rest of the way to the candy store. Once there, Ed opened the door again for them and walked in behind them. Ed's eyes looked around, eyes sparkling like stars, for this was sugar heaven for all of them, again the words being "sugar heaven". They all gazed around at all of the items and Eddy found himself running right over to the jawbreakers, his mouth drooling over them, wishing he had a couple of those himself to selfishly enjoy as Ed went right over to the 'sticky' fudge.
Edd lingered by the door to the store as his friends drifted off their separate ways. Eddy was just.. not pleasant to be around nowadays, for some reason that Edd was unaware of or just because he was a mean person, and Ed kept making Edd feel weird on the inside. Maybe he was coming down with a fever from all this cold weather.
Ed took as many of the chocolate fudge as he could pay for and went up to the register to pay for them, but stopped and grabbed a couple of jawbreakers, which really made Eddy's eyes grow as wide as saucer plates as he watched "Lumpy" buy them and the fudge.
Edd lingered in the doorway still, looking out the window and waiting for his friends. Thinking about the 'things' that made him feel funny inside and watching the wind blow snow off the roof of the building and around in the street.
Ed smiled at his friends, looking at both of them, handing Eddy one of the jawbreakers. "Here you go, Eddy. A jaw breaker for youuuu." And Eddy shouted out with joy and greedily stuck it into his mouth, laughing insanely at the tasty sweet ball pleasure touching his taste-buds. Ed continued to smile and went over to Edd and tapped him on the shoulder. "Here's your jawbreaker, Double D!"
Edd turned and looked at him, then at the jawbreaker. "Aw, Ed, you didn't have to buy me anything." He took the jawbreaker and tapped on it absentmindedly, turning a little bit pink in the face. "Really, you didn't have to."
Ed smiled at his friend and petted him on the head. "Aww, it was nothing, Double D. You enjoy that for me, kay?"
"Okay, Ed, I promise I'll enjoy it," He smiled, amused. "I'm going to save it for later, though." He looked over at Eddy. "Hear that Eddy? I'm saving it. That doesn't mean you can have it, so don't ask. And don't try and steal it either."
Eddy paid no mind to him and continue to savor the jawbreaker until it's gone. Ed smiled at Eddy, he was happy that Eddy is happy, the same went for Double D. Then the door to the candy store rang as Nazz stepped in. "Hey, guys!" She smiled at them in her cute knitted sweater and sleazy-like skirt. "Merry Christmas to you all!" She giggled. Eddy then looked at her and blushed nervously and waved. "Hi, Naz! W-what's up!" Nazz smiled at him, "Oh, just getting some goodies for tonight's party, you dig?" Eddy blinked at her and replied "Uhhh..yeah!" He then watched as she went about her own business, he still has the hots for her. Ed's smile turned into a curious frown as he looked at what Eddy was staring at, which made him frown even more. Yes, indeed, Ed was quite jealous of the girl, the same girl that always captured the hearts of the cult-de-sack, especially the hearts of his two best friends.
Edd, busy trying to determine the volume of the jawbreaker by tapping on it in strategic places, paid no mind to Eddy anymore and looked up when Naz spoke. "Oh, hello," he said. "Big party, huh?"
Nazz turned to him and smiled sexily. "Why, yes, Double D." She confirmed. "Everyone's gonna be there. And there will be all kinds of food and games to play and music to dance to! Annnnnd don't forget the mistletoooooooe." Ed snorted to himself, watching as the preppy little hag flirt with his object of affection and desire and also watched as Eddy ogled at her and her body parts. Oh, yes, indeed, Edward is most definately jealous. What did Naz have what he doesn't? ...Okay, let's not talk about that, then. ...Well, atleast he wasn't throwing himself at every boy, that he can say. Ed then grabbed Eddy who began to protest and then grabbed Edd and marched out the door with the both of them.
Edd blinked up at Ed as he nearly lost his hold on his jawbreaker. "Ed? Are you alright? Is something wrong?"
Ed then began to cool down as soon as he heard his "Little Angel" speak to him in a worried tone. He stopped, let both of them go. Eddy growled at him and slapped him in the back of the head. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR, HUH!" Ed began to feel the urge to cry again, but fought it back and forced a smile at them. "To get ready for the party, Eddy!" He returned gaily.
Edd stared at Eddy, appalled at the slapping. "EDDY. I told you to stop being mean to him, you jerk! God, you're such a self-centered, greedy little.. little.. PERSON. Grow up."
Eddy turned his glare right on Edd and was about to give him to beat down of his life when Ed intervined and said "Hey guys, look what I can do!" And made his long tongue curl upward and touch the tip of his nose. Eddy soon forgot all about what Edd said and went "eww" at it.
"That's very nice, Ed," Edd said, glaring at Eddy. "Let's go to the party now." He glared at Eddy some more. "Jerk." He hissed at him, before turning and heading off away from the candy store.
Eddy grumbled at him and continued walking. "C'mon, Lumpy." He huffed and Ed laughed and followed them as be began to skip along the way to Naz's place.
Edd hummed as he marched on in front of Eddy. "La la la, happy holidays, I'm so cheerful, Eddy is a jerk, meeerrry Christmassss." He was quite peeved at the rude boy now. Quite.
Eddy groaned some more at him. "What's your problem!" He demanded an answer from him, but knowing quite well what the problem is. "Okay, okay! You can stop with all of the singing and name calling and shit. I get the point! I'm sorry! Geeze." Ed then came up behind Eddy and picked him up in a all close-like hug, Eddy wiggling his feet in the air as he shrieked for he didn't like heights very well. "YAAAAY, Eddy said sorry!" He nuzzled Eddy a bit as Eddy squirmed some more and demanded to be put down instantly.
"Apology accepted," Edd said, glancing back at his two friends. He saw Eddy being hugged and felt that weird jealous pang again, looking down at his feet and walking ahead of them. He didn't want to see it.
Eddy growled under his breath and hit his tall friend. "PUT ME DOWN, STUPID!" Ed, ignoring the punch, smiled and put his friend down. "Okay, Eddy." "Finally!" Eddy gasped and continued walking, Ed certainly has a grip of steel. Ed continued to smile and skipped along merrily behind his friends as they finally make it towards Naz's house, Naz beating them there because of her boyfriend Kevin's motorbike.
Edd plodded along, still holding the jawbreaker Ed gave him and doing an excellent job of not walking into anyone, for someone who was looking right straight down at his feet like they might fall off if he didn't. This wasn't supposed to be so confusing. The books he read made these sorts of 'things' sound happy. He wasn't very happy.
To be continued...