Title: Beautiful Disaster

Author: human28

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Pairing: M/A

Spoilers: Post Freak Nation.

Summary: Alec loves Max. Max loves Alec. And when do they reveal this to each other? Right now. (Features the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson).

Beautiful Disaster

By: human28

He drowns in his dreams,

An exquisite extreme I know

"Rachel!"

The agonizing shout cut through the silence of the night, pulling her awake.

"Alec," she murmured to herself, immediately getting out of her bed and stumbling across her room to the other end of the house where his room was located. She passed by Joshua's and was relieved to hear the transhuman snoring loudly, unperturbed by the torment their friend was going through.

Ever since White and his cronies had broken into Max and Alec's apartments, the two had commenced to move in with Joshua, in 'Father's house', something that the dog-man was all too happy about. 'Joshua won't be lonely anymore'. He had said. OC, on the other hand had moved in with her 'honey', much to Alec's amusement.

It was strange; Max had thought that it would be hell, living with smart-assed Alec. But in the past few weeks of the three of them living together, she had felt a sudden sense of comfort and security. Maybe it was because she felt safe being with people who knew how to defend themselves when there was danger. Or maybe, it was simply because she felt secure being with her own kind – her family.

She finally made it outside his door. By now, there was nothing but silence. She placed a hand on the doorknob, a mixture of emotions fighting within her. She knew she should check up on him – see if he was all right, but she also knew that if there was one thing that Alec hated, it was being seen in a state of unreserved vulnerability.

Making her decision, she made to open the door, but was made to stagger several steps backward when his door flew open to reveal a bare-chested Alec, clad only in a pair of black boxers.

"Max," he said in surprise.

She tore her eyes away from his perfect abs and stared at him worriedly. "Are you okay?"

His eyes flickered briefly with something indecipherable.

He's as damned as he seems

And more heaven than a heart could hold

"What are you talking about? I'm always alright." He graced her with a half-smile before brushing past her and making a beeline for the kitchen. She followed him.

I'm always alright.

Max mimicked in her head.

Liar.

She seated herself on one of the stools behind the counter, watching the male X5 carefully as he pulled out a bottle of vodka from the fridge. She raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it a little too early to be drinking?"

He took a swig from the bottle and smirked at her. "It's never too early for an X5."

She sneered at him. "It's four in the morning, Alec. And if I can remember clearly, the only times you get out of bed to drink is when something's bothering you."

His smirk vanished and to her aggravation, his emotionless mask went back up to cover his face. She sighed in frustration. "Damn it Alec! Just tell me! Keeping it inside you won't help. Whatever's bothering you will stay there and eat up your insides until the day you die."

He slammed the vodka bottle on top of the counter and stared at her, hazel-green eyes filled with pain.

And if I tried to save him,

My whole world could cave in,

It just ain't right

Lord, it just ain't right.

"I can't." He whispered in a voice almost inaudible to her enhanced hearing.

She stared at him, confused. "Can't what?"

"I can't tell you," he said, his eyes going glassy for a few seconds.

"Why?"

"Because I might die."

Her mind reeled. What the hell is he talking about? A number of possibilities flooded her head. Was White blackmailing him? Was he involved in some kind of illegal activity? That would just be typical of him. In a split second, her emotions transformed into anger.

"So what did the great Alec do now?" she mocked, eyes narrowed. "You got into trouble again now didn't you?"

His stared at her, stunned. And then he too, began to see red. "Accusing me again Maxie? Why, I thought we've been through that stage already." He laughed hollowly. "Didn't your rug-rat brothers and sisters ever tell you not to blame someone without proof? And, hey, just to widen your knowledge a little bit, I didn't do anything wrong. It just happened." His eyes flickered again. "And I couldn't stop it from happening."

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

Swallow your pride, Max. She commanded herself. Because he's right. You can't just go blaming him without knowing what he's even talking about in the first place! She sighed. Old habits die hard. When something went wrong, it's Alec's fault. But it never was his fault. Nobody ever blames Alec. Except for her. And for the past few weeks, it was something that she had stopped doing, knowing deep in her heart that trouble would be the last thing that he would want to be involved in.

Forcing herself to look him in the eye, she murmured in a small voice. "I'm sorry, Alec. I didn't mean to say that. But you have to understand, I'm just concerned for you. If you need help, all you have to do is ask. That's what family does for you Alec."

He smiled crookedly. It was a strange smile. A smile that made Max want to cringe. It was like honey spilled on shattered glass. A pained smile. "I wish you could help. But I know you couldn't."

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Lord, would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

She stared at him, at loss for words. Not for the first time in her life, she found herself, once again, unable to understand what he was trying to tell her. Or maybe – he just didn't want to tell her. Period. Maybe he was just leading her through an impossible maze of endless questions and lead her straight to a dead end. If there was one thing she knew about Alec, he kept secrets amazingly well. And he wouldn't tell you about it unless he did tell you. You couldn't pry it out of him unless --

"Do you know what day it is Max?" He asked after taking another swig from his bottle of vodka. And without waiting for her answer, he whispered softly. "She died today, Max. I killed her today."

She sighed. She knew she should feel sorry for him. But honestly, he really needed to get over it. It was too long ago already. Now wasn't the time to grieve. "No. Alec. It wasn't your fault. You didn't kill her. It was Manticore's twisted and depraved plans that killed her." She looked at him. His eyes had gotten that glassy, faraway look again. The one you get when you're reliving a certain painful memory.

"Alec?" she asked gently. "You need to move on."

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

He snapped out of his daze, eyes widening. "But that's the problem, Maxie."

"What? You find it hard to move on?" she scoffed. "You have millions of female worshippers. Just take your pick." At the expression on his face, she sighed and rephrased what she said. "What I meant to say was that, there are dozens of women out there who are dying to be with you and all you have to do is find the right one."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," he muttered under his breath.

"Wh—what?"

He stared at her. "That's the problem, Max. I moved on."

And do I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold me tight

Baby, hold me tight

For some unknown reason, something inside her twitched. Almost enviously. But she refused to go there. She was supposed to be in love with Logan right? Wait – 'supposed'? Where did that come from? Shaking her head to clear whatever thoughts that were starting to flood in her brain, she shrugged. "Well, that's good isn't it? What are you moaning all about?"

Rarely do you see the great X5-494 in such a moment of weakness. But there he was, standing right in front of her looking like he was about to start crying. And yes, you have to remember that he was still really close to being naked. It was strange. There he stood, eyes watering, yet he still managed to keep his emotions in tact so that he looked like a bunch of onions was being held up near his eyes. Meaningless tears about to fall.

But, hey, she was Max. And she had been around Alec for more than a year already. She knew his infamous blank masks, and how they only came up when he was hiding something really, really painful.

"I can't."

And that was when realization hit her like a humongous dump truck.

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

"You're scared." She whispered, eyes wide. He's scared that he's going to lose the woman he loves right now just like he had lost Rachel.

"Rachel's death was the biggest pitfall in my whole life, Max. It was like being thrown to the lions. No actually, that would be better considering the fact that we all have feline DNA." He laughed mirthlessly. "I swear, all those trips to Psy Ops were better compared to losing someone you love."

"Like a stab in the heart, right?" the words escaped her lips before she could stop them.

"Yeah, like a stab in the -- " he halted mid-sentence and stared at her like she was an alien from another planet. Great, now he thinks that I broke up with Logan or something. Which doesn't sound too bad…does it? "WHAT?"

"Um, I meant, stab in the wart, or something. Haha. Just trying to make you laugh." Well, that was what she was going to say, but again, those words failed her and another sentence was pulled out of her mouth. It was like she swallowed some kind of truth potion.

"Losing someone you love. It's a stab in the heart." She groaned and buried her head in her hands.

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm searching for some kind of miracle

Waited so long

So long

"Did you break up with Logan or something?" he asked, confused. "How come I haven't heard about it?" For some reason, he looked a tad bit more cheery than before.

"That's because I didn't break up with Logan." She hissed. Her eyes flickered. "But I wish I did."

"Okay, you just lost me there." He said, shaking his head. "You wish you broke up with Logan but you didn't. Are you scared, Maxie?" he threw back at her.

She glared at him. "No. I didn't break up with Logan because I didn't make any beautiful, inspiring, soap-opera-worthy realizations. Not until now."

"So, break up with him now. Better soon then later, right?" he asked with a strange grin.

She scowled. "No use, buddy. It's too late. I already lost him."

"Who? Logan?" he asked, confused.

What the hell, might as well tell him. I'm not one to keep secrets. "No, Alec." She whispered softly. "You."

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And everything came crashing down on him.

"Me?"

Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that. She moaned. Now he's going to laugh at me. How could he, the person she blamed everything on, the person she called an asshole twenty-five times a day, the one she kept on criticizing every chance she gets, could love someone like her.

"You know what, Max?" he asked her. "You were right. I was scared to move on. But now, I don't."

Great, that's just the cherry on top of my ice cream of disaster.

" – because I found out that she loves me back."

Maybe add a little whipped cream – wait. Did he just say what I thought he just said?

And then…

…and then they both started laugh hysterically.

…and the next thing they knew, their lips were all over one another, heart and soul bared.

Beautiful.

Oh, he's beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster.

-- Fin --

A/N: One word my beautiful friends: REVIEW. It means a lot to me. Thanks. )