A/n: Hey new story here which I think is very funny. Me and my friends (maniac inc.) have wrote this well they gave me ideas and I wrote the chaps. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1

Blood and bones were everywhere.

Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Hagrid and Remus lay spaced out on the blood red ground.

'You bastard' hissed Harry as Voldemort stomped on Remus, but Voldemort chuckled.

'See what you have done boy, I am almost ashamed to admit that you are my own flesh and blood'.

'What!' shouted Harry in shock,' I am no where near related to you!'.

Harry shot the cutting hex at him engaging himself and Voldemort into a duel.

Duck, dive, left, right, spell, spell, duck, hex, left, right, hex and on went the battle

'This is it Tom' growled Harry

'Hahahahaha Harry you fool'

'No I 'ent'

'Yes you are I mean come on I doubt you'd kill your own –'

'-what arch enemy'

'No Harry your father'

'What'

'I'm your father'

'What'

'I'm your father'

'What'

'Oh for heavens sake children I'm your fucking dad'

'Huh?'

'Argg my son is thick'

'Don't worry daddy'

Suddenly Voldemort and Harry got up and started to dance and sing to 'we are family'

In Gryffindor common Harry awoke panting with beads of sweat rolling down his face. 'I have to stop watching Star wars it is not good for my mental health'

Deep, deep, deep underground a snake faced man suddenly started to scream clutching teddy bear 'Ted' thinking Potter will pa, I mean please you do not have dreams like that its just …Voldemort shuddered at the horror of it all.

A/n: So what do you lovely people think.