Title: I Need to Know
Author: Amethyst Crow
Rating: M Date: August, 2002 Characters: Anakin and Padmé, Episode II timeframe, in the middle of AOTC! Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to the great Flannelled One. I just use these two rabbits for my own purpose. Rated "M" for Mature and not intended for younger audiences!
Date: August, 2002
Characters: Anakin and Padmé, Episode II timeframe, in the middle of AOTC!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to the great Flannelled One. I just use these two rabbits for my own purpose. Rated "M" for Mature and not intended for younger audiences!
His first task without his Master wasn't an easy one. The overload of information about the latest developments in the search for the leader of the Seperatists was giving Anakin a headache. He was tired of endlessly scrolling down the datapad, squinting at the tiny letters, hoping to find a hint or a clue as to who it was that was threatening war against the Republic. He was also still concerned about finding out who was trying to kill Padmé. She had her suspicion that it was Count Dooku, but there was no real proof and he wanted to believe her. So, he felt it was his duty to prove that Padmé's suspicion was correct. But, it wasn't up to him to solve the mystery of the Seperatists or to find out who was trying to assassinate Padmé. He was only supposed to protect her, so the Council and his Master told him. But, he didn't care. He felt compelled to do this for Padmé's sake and sanity, although, he hadn't had much success in either area.
He was propped up against a mound of pillows that rested against a massive headboard. He lounged leisurely on the huge bed with his six foot one frame stretched out the length of it, his legs crossed at the ankles. His neck ached from the odd angle of looking down at the datapad for hours on end. The dim light coming from the one lit floating lamp in the room didn't help much either. Sighing, he had had enough and dropped the datapad to his chest and leaned his head back against the pillows. He was only going to close his eyes and rest for a little bit. He listened to the thunderstorm raging outside the balcony doors as a way to relax. Perhaps something would come to him that he hadn't thought of before if he just ignored the mass of information in that blasted datapad.
The only thing that came to mind was the image of Padmé in that tight leather corset, earlier in the evening. It boggled him how one woman could change her clothes three times in one day, but it was just one of the things he loved about the Senator. They were supposed to have arrived here as refugees, and yet she brought a mound of suitcases. Already, she had taken his breath away with that backless number and the kiss they shared on the balcony. But then… she wore a corset. He was already tortured just by being around her and yet…she wore a corset, one that affected him almost to the point of not being able to form coherent speech. He even told her that she was tormenting his very soul because she affected him so much.
They had sat by the fire, discussing how a future wasn't possible. Or rather, how he begged her to listen to him, slowly being drawn to her inch by inch. He had jumped at the possibility that she had feelings for him, but she never really confessed she felt the same way. But, out of love for her, he had decided to respect her wishes and leave her be. He would love her from afar, forever, even if she didn't love him. She only had to ask a wish of him and he would do everything in his power to make that wish come true. All she had to do was command and he would obey.
She was right, after all, she was a Senator and he was merely studying to become a Jedi Knight. He just had to give in to the idea that it would never work out. It almost killed him to accept it, but he had to. Jedi were forbidden from getting attached. Still, he was perfectly able to accept living a lie, but he couldn't ask that of her. She was too precious to him to let her do that, even for him. And so, he agreed that he couldn't live a lie and that was that. The Senator had made her decision and he had to accept it. He didn't think he could cut through the tension in the air even with his lightsaber after that delicate conversation. So, they both retired to their respective rooms. There was no way he would be able to sleep, so he took to the task of solving a mystery.
Anakin's thoughts continued to center on Padmé in the next few quiet moments that followed, but he knew the second she opened his door and tiptoed into his bedroom. All thoughts were suddenly focused on why she was still awake…and in his room. Granted, this was her lakeside retreat that they were hiding in, but still… he felt he had some sort of privacy even if it was her house. Not that he really minded her intrusion, but he was still trying to sort out their complicated situation in his mind.
He got the sense from her that she was hoping he was awake. He kept silent and pretended to be asleep just to see what she would do. He could sense that she seemed to be disturbed about something, which was keeping her awake. He didn't pry into her mind any further to find out what she was thinking. He respected her privacy… and she had the natural ability to hide whatever she wanted to from him, whether she knew it or not. He just hoped that she would resolve her issue soon. He hadn't been able to sleep either because he was so worried about her, the decision they had mutually made, and the attempts on her life. He had hoped that coming here would ease her mind because it was her home, but it didn't. Something else only seemed to increase her worried mind. And so he waited…
"Anakin? Are you awake?" Padmé whispered, opening the door to peak in on Anakin. He looked to be asleep and she wondered if she should wake him. It would be rude, wouldn't it? He looked so peaceful. He was stretched out on the bed and looked like a lazy cat that had just devoured a juicy sinta fish. He was half dressed, wearing only his pants and his oversized, gauzy beige tunic. She entered the room and tiptoed towards the bed, carefully avoiding his boots and the rest of his clothes, the dark layers upon layers of Padawan garb he usually wore, that were strewn all over the floor. She leaned over Anakin just to watch his chest slowly rise and fall. It seemed as if he didn't have a care in the universe. Was he sleeping peacefully? Of course he was. He wasn't the one with people trying to assassinate him… and he wasn't thinking about the same matters that she was.
He had been completely honest with her and she had lied to him. Did she really mean all that she said? Would it be truly impossible to live that lie? Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. But in the first place, she really wanted to tell him about her past.
She noticed that he was holding a datapad against his chest. She was suddenly curious to find out what it was he had been reading. She reached down to gently pull the datapad out from under his hand without waking him. She startled slightly when his other hand reached up quickly to cover hers before she could move it.
"I'm sorry, I...I didn't mean to wake you," she blurted out and tried to step back, but Anakin held onto her hand.
"I wasn't asleep," he said quietly, sitting up. He tossed the datapad onto the bed and focused his complete attention on Padmé. He tried to pull her down to sit beside him but she wouldn't move. "Couldn't sleep, Milady?" He asked, using his other hand to rub warmth back into her cold hand.
"Um…no, Anakin," she said, quickly backing up and forcing Anakin to let go of her hand. She stood there for a moment just, matching his eye contact, wondering what he was thinking. She felt like he was questioning her soul with his intensive stare.
When she didn't say anything else, Anakin became concerned. She seemed extremely nervous around him all of a sudden. She was simply staring at him, chewing on her lower lip, while she twirled a curl that had fallen down from the hair piled on top of her head around her finger. He could see the blush on her cheeks, but he couldn't figure out what she would be so embarrassed about, although it just increased his attraction to her. Perhaps it was because she was only standing there in…her white nightgown with pale pink flowers and an open, crushed blue velvet robe. She looked incredibly sexy and his body naturally reacted to it. Force, she really was trying to torment him.
"Are you alright? You look… upset," Anakin asked, hoping his voice didn't crack as he adverted his eyes from her chest. She really had no idea how much she affected him. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and was about to stand up when she put her hand out, stopping him.
"No, you stay right there, Anakin Skywalker. I need…I need to talk to you," she commanded and shifted the heavy dark blue robe over the thin slip of a nightgown she wore. She tightened it around her chest before crossing her arms. She began to pace in front of the bed, while Anakin looked on with confusion.
"I…I have a problem…and it's all your fault," she said hesitantly.
He blinked. Once again he was waiting for her to continue. He was dying to know what the hell she was talking about. What was his fault? He already confessed everything to her by the fire, so it couldn't possibly concern that. But, what had he done now? Everything else seemed to be his fault, though, so he wouldn't be surprised if whatever she was stressing about was as well. She had already blamed him for being too arrogant about the whole "security" issue when they were in conference with the Queen. Sure, she hadn't said it, but he could tell the thought was there. She thought he was still a ten-year-old boy. Hadn't she said as much? That's what he was trying to convince her he was not. She also blamed him for the bumpy ride to Naboo, as if that was his fault a slight jolt caused her to slop her food on the table. She probably even blamed him for the swift thunderstorm that was raging outside. He sighed and leaned back against the pillows before lacing his hands together behind his head. He would allow her to conveniently blame him if it made her feel better. He didn't like seeing her upset. It wasn't like the confident Senator to be acting like a nervous wreck, especially around him. She seemed to want to talk about whatever her problem was, however, but was having trouble getting it out.
"…and that problem is?" Anakin prompted quietly with a wave of his hand when she remained silent. He closed his eyes again, settling back into the relaxed state he was in just before she entered her room.
"Have you ever been in love?"
That was the dumbest question he had ever heard. This had to be a trick question, right? Of course he has. She had to have known how felt about her, so why was she asking? Force, isn't that what he just told her by the fire? Anakin opened his eyes to study her, to see if she was serious. Apparently, she was. She was standing there staring at him, as if she were expecting an answer to her ridiculous question.
He looked like he was going to answer, but she didn't give him the chance to before continuing with her fervent speech, "I thought I was in love once. It was just after I became a Senator." She stopped her pacing to look at Anakin. "It was the first time I had felt a man's touch." She knew that she should define what she meant, but was suddenly afraid how it would affect Anakin. She put it the best way she knew how, "If you know what I mean."
Anakin knew exactly what she meant and he felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart by a very blunt knife at the same time. He did his best effort to not look upset. Another man touched what was his and it pissed him off. All his life he had dreamed of being the one to… she looked like she was ashamed.
Anakin nodded and waited for her to continue again, forcing himself not to explode in anger. He wasn't quite sure where she was going with this, but he was very much interested now. Rarely, had she opened up to him about anything, and so he wanted to pay close attention. He kept his calm and just nodded again, understanding what she meant, but all the while seething underneath. Not at her exactly, she had to have been innocent, but at whoever took that innocence from her.
"Do you remember when I told you about Palo? It was with him."
He vowed to kill Palo. "I thought you went into politics and he went on to be an artist?"
She was caught off guard by his sharp tone, but she wisely decided to ignore it. She didn't know why she felt the need to tell Anakin all of this, but he deserved to hear it. If he had confessed his soul to her, she needed to be just as honest with him.
"It was just after I became a Senator," she repeated, rushing out the rest before her fear got the best of her. "An inaugural ball was held by the Queen in my honor. Palo was there." Padmé's expression became one of someone who was staring into a far off place. "I hadn't seen him in such a long time. He was a very handsome man. He had done a portrait of me from when I was Queen and gave it to me as a gift. It was a beautiful painting and a very sweet thing to do…he did it from memory, too. Seeing him brought back a lot of wonderful memories and feelings, Anakin. I guess I wanted to repay him." She stopped in her speech and smiled at the memory of seeing him again, although it was a sad smile. Her smiled faltered when she saw the expression on Anakin's face. He looked scary, as if he was about ready to kill someone.
"Why are you telling me this?" Anakin asked quietly after the clap thunder that shook the room, sitting up. His fists were white with the pressure that he was using to grip the edge of the bed.
He had suddenly become so cold, so distant. She had somewhat expected this, but she didn't think he'd be so…mean about it. She had allowed him to speak his heart, and he needed to do the same for her, that's why she was telling him this. Besides, what right did he get to become upset? She never promised him anything. She had only just been reunited with this man recently after ten years of not knowing him. That little boy had turned out to be her protector and savior, but at the moment she didn't know the man she saw before her. The man before her was brooding, and the look in his eyes was… dark and frightening.
"I thought he loved me, Anakin. I foolishly believed that he did. He told me he loved me, but he lied to me. He did all these things to make me believe him. He told me essentially the same thing you did and-"
"Is that what you think? You think I lied to you?" The tone of his voice was dripping with venom and full of surprise. It was so calm, and yet so menacing.
Padmé suddenly had an idea now as to why he was being so cold. He thought that she thought he lied to her. It sounded like she was accusing him of doing the same thing, which of course was not true. She rushed to the bed and sat down next to him, hoping to explain to him what she meant. She tried to grab his hand, but he snatched his hand away. Her heart sank when he moved away from her…just like she had earlier in front of the fire, but he seemed to do it with more speed and hatred. She now had a sense of how it felt to him when she did the same thing.
"No, Anakin, no. That's not what I meant at all," she was pleading with him to understand. She tried to grab his hand again to pull him closer to her, but he only jerked his hand away again.
She didn't know what was worse: the foolish assumption that she had inadvertently lead him to or the fact that he was so angry, he wouldn't look at her…or touch her. Right now, she wanted to beg him for the same kiss her gave her earlier, on the balcony, just to know that he didn't hate her.
"Anakin, please listen to me, I-"
"Get out, Padmé. Just get out." Anakin was so angry, he was gritting his teeth as he softly commanded her to leave. He loved her too much to start screaming at her and he didn't feel like continuing this conversation. He hadn't meant to sound so cantankerous, but he didn't particularly care at the moment because his head was pounding now.
He needed time to deal with…he just needed time and right now he wanted to strangle the woman. First she had basically told him there was no chance in a fiery Sith Hell they would ever be together. She had shoved him aside, still thinking of him as a little boy. One whom she thought would play games and lie to her about such an important issue. How could the woman he loved so much do this to him? How could she even think he'd do something like that to her? He had a lot more pride and honor than Palo did and he thought he had proven that by now.
Padmé felt the pull in her chest that came before crying, something she hadn't done in such a long time. Attempts on her life, physical pain, emotional scarring… none of which had ever caused her to cry. But this, Anakin's rejection and refusal to listen to her side of the story, is what did it. She looked away from him, unable to hold his glare. She focused on the lightening outside as tears welled up in her eyes. She wiped away the first tear that fell as she stood up and slowly moved to leave, successfully avoiding a look at Anakin. She did NOT want him to see her cry, although she was sure he heard her sob. All the heartache that Palo had caused was nothing compared to the heartache she felt at Anakin's dismissal, although she probably deserved a tiny amount of it. She had done the same thing to him, hadn't she? She didn't think that it would mean so much to her how he felt, either in anger or love, but it did. She felt the pain of his rejection all throughout her body as he abruptly stood up and turned his back to her. She knew then that the man before her really wasn't a little boy anymore. He was a man who had confessed his soul and meant it with all sincerity. He really had grown up.
With her head down, Padmé slipped past him as he approached the balcony doors and pressed his forehead and hands against the cool glass, his breath leaving an imprint on the glass. He just wanted to close his eyes and make all this go away, start over, just something to feel better. Perhaps this was all a dream and that she really didn't think that he would be so cruel to her. He furrowed his brow at the loud clap of thunder that sounded outside and winced, the boom increasing the searing pain in his head.
It was unfair! She was only trying to explain to him why she acted the way she had earlier and… Damn it, it was unfair. He didn't know the whole truth of it and he had absolutely NO right to demand that she shut up when he hadn't heard everything she needed to tell him. This was his fault. If he hadn't opened his heart and soul up to her, she wouldn't feel so guilty about lying to him in the first place. She never had before, but ever since meeting him, her mind had gone completely haywire. He had made her think about a lot of things she had already decided not to think about in her life. She could fight the battles of politics and war and win, but she was going to let him chase her out based on an assumption that was completely wrong? Not on her life…
She had just reached the doorway when she came to the decision that she was not going to leave his bedroom, unless by force, until he had listened to every word she had to say and was going to apologize for growling at her. Her hands on her hips, she whirled around to confront him. If he truly loved her, he was going to prove it and that was that.
Very calmly and politely, she spoke the words she knew would send Anakin into a tizzy, for this was not a man who liked to be told no, "Make me."
Anakin was silently begging in his mind to the Force to make the throbbing in his brain go away when he heard the bold statement come from behind him. "What did you say?" he asked, turning around and approaching Padmé. She looked as if she was about to head into a war with him as her enemy.
He had come to stand so close to her, that she could feel the heat radiate off his chest. She had to tilt her head all the way back to stare up at Anakin. She knew that he was trying to intimidate her, but it wouldn't work. Not this time. She saw his astonished look and resisted the urge to smile. He should be used to her bossiness by now, shouldn't he? Why, if he really thought she was so cruel as to assume he was the same as Palo, what she was doing now shouldn't surprise him, right? So why was he looking at her like she was a nut? Probably because she hadn't obeyed his order, Padmé mused. She suddenly felt a whole lot better, like she could take on the Seperatists all by herself. Or, more appropriately, an even greater force in the universe, Anakin Skywalker.
"You heard me. Make me. I own this house and I'm not leaving this room, so there," She stated, standing her ground, daring Anakin to throw her out. He was twice her size and strength, could do it easily, but she wasn't going to let that scare her.
He could swear he saw a mischievous twinkle in her bright brown eyes. "Padmé, please, just leave. I have a headache and your not making it any better," Anakin grated, closing his eyes now very weary. He clenched his fists at his sides to keep himself from shaking some sense into the demented woman. Didn't she know the dangerous ground she was standing on? She had already confused him terribly, just accused him of lying, and now…Force, now she had her chest pushed out in a defiant stance with her hands on her hips, the robe falling half off of her, as she glared up at him with those fiery brown eyes of hers. On top of that, he could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo. The scent was intoxicating and so very arousing, causing his mind to conflict with his body. He didn't think his situation could get any worse.
He was wrong.
"That's too bad."
"Why are you doing this to me? Just to torture me more? You already…" Anakin sat back down on the bed, frustrated beyond his own belief. "You already torture me, even if you don't intend to," Anakin said rubbing his forehead with his hands, groaning. "Or do you?" He asked, lifting his head up to look at her with a more skeptical than irritated expression on his face.
That was it. Padmé marched to the bed and towered over him as she lectured him, "Anakin Skywalker, how dare you think of me as a person who sets out to intentionally be cruel to you! I simply will not allow you to reject me like that."
"Simply will not allow? Reject YOU? Padmé-" His expression varied between flashes of rage and beyond incredulous as he stood up. The woman now thought that he had rejected her? He felt like pulling his hair out. How could she just expect him take all that she had done to him? Granted, he would go through the fiery levels of every Sith Hell there was if he had to for her because he loved her, but not when he had a monstrous headache she was only making worse by thinking he would do such a horrible thing Palo did.
"Anakin, sit down!"
Padmé pushed him back down to sit on the bed before he could raise more of a fuss. She was determined to finish what she had started before the storm between them matched the one outside.
"I don't want to hear any-"
She needed to get him to listen to her. She reached down and found his lightsaber under his clothes, ignoring his protests again. In a bold move, she shoved it into his stomach with her finger on the trigger, as she quickly straddled him. The surprising move silenced him.
"Anakin Skywalker, I swear to the Gods above if you don't listen to me with what I have to say, I'll run you through with your own lightsaber," she stated softly, scathing brown eyes inches apart from icy blue ones.
Anakin was speechless. She was sitting on his lap with her weapon of choice in hand. His headache paled in comparison to the pain he now felt in his groin. Naturally, he focused on the parted lips that he so desperately wanted to taste again. For a moment, he forgot what they had been arguing about until the gentle push he felt in his stomach reminded him of her intention. He wondered if she actually would follow through with her promise if he didn't listen to her. He wanted to test that theory until he looked down. All his anger suddenly subsided and he felt like laughing! The daft woman had his lightsaber pointed in the wrong direction and she had absolutely no idea. If she turned it on, she'd impale herself on it. He wanted to smile. Not at the thought of her death, but at how easily she had dissolved his anger.
"Alright… I'm listening," Anakin conceded as he gently pushed the lightsaber away from him and pried it out of her hands. He showed her the right direction it should be in before he put it on the bedside table. She tried to leave his lap, but he refused to let her leave. He put his hands on her hips in an effort to keep her from moving against his crotch.
"This is all your fault, Anakin Skywalker."
They were back to where they started. "For the love of… how is this my fault? And will you please stop saying both my names as if you were swearing? If you think I'm just like Palo, then-"
"Anakin! I do not think you are just like Palo!"
"No? Then why did you say-"
"This is all your fault," she whispered as she shifted her position slightly. She wanted to cradle the hardness she felt pressing between her legs, but felt awkward at the same time because of the intimate position. The ache she felt was making it difficult to remember what she was blaming him for.
"Padmé…" Now Anakin had the desperate, pleading tone of voice. He bit back the urge to groan when she moved her hips again. "Stop that…"
It was all clear now what she wanted. "This is all your fault because you made me feel guilty about lying to you," she blurted out.
That made no sense. It was clear she had lost her mind. "How did I make you feel guilty?" She was back to biting her lip, Anakin noticed, her blush returning as well. She had placed her hands on his chest and was staring at them as he asked his next question, "What exactly did you lie about?"
"You're nothing like Palo, Anakin. You are so different…so, very, very different. Everything you say is so full of honesty and you mean it. You hide nothing," she said as she looked down at the fabric of the tunic she was twisting in her hands. "I wish I had waited for you," she whispered.
Anakin wasn't quite sure if he had heard her correctly. He lifted her chin with his hand to look her in the eyes. "What?"
His voice wasn't full of the anger that it had before. It was gentle and soft, and full of wonder like it had been during their conversation in front of the fire. It gave her the courage to continue, "Anakin, I was so very, very young when I let Palo do what he did to me. I thought I loved him, I really did. And when it was over, something just didn't feel right. The whole thing didn't feel right. There was no love there in his touch or his kisses or his lovemaking, just lust. It was so…common. I felt so common. I never heard from him again after that and it hurt me deeply. I thought I would never love another man, but I do." She looked up at him through long lashes, hoping he was smart enough to figure out what she was admitting to him.
Anakin was having trouble concentrating on what she was saying, as her hands were now under his shirt and splayed against his abdomen. He wasn't sure if she had any idea what she was doing, but he sure as hell did. He swallowed hard listening to her as she continued, "I know now that I was used. I also know that you would never do anything like that to me… that with you, it would be different. It would feel different. That's what I was trying to say earlier, before you snapped at me, that is."
It took him a full minute to realize what she was saying…and then he felt like swamp scum. He had gotten angry with her for all the wrong reasons and all because he had jumped to conclusions. Something he was not supposed to do at all because he was a Jedi. But, she had also just confessed… that she wanted to… He wanted to apologize to her, to beg for her forgiveness, but a more nagging thought was suddenly on his mind, "Then what did you lie about?"
"I lied when I said I didn't want a future with you. I do. I'm just scared that it would destroy our lives," Padmé said titling her head to the side and moving her hands up to his chest. "Do you care, Anakin?"
"Care about what, Padmé?" Anakin breathed heavily, forgetting what they were discussing. She was using her hands to outline the muscles on his chest and arms under his shirt. For a reason he couldn't explain, he reached up and took the ribbons out that were holding her hair up, letting the mass of curls cascade all around her shoulders and back.
"Do you care if it destroys our lives?" She asked, bringing one of her hands up to caress his cheek. His voice had become huskier and sexy. She was restless, feeling the wetness between her legs grow. She shifted her position again and slowly closed the gap between them so that she was barely an inch away from him. She smiled when he groaned.
"I think that…" He was finding it difficult to finish his sentence. She rubbed her thumb against his bottom lip before running her fingers along his jaw line. He swallowed hard before continuing, "I think that denying something that is completely natural destroys a life." Anakin moved his hands under her robe to rest higher on her waist, letting her grind her hips against his. "Ahh… You daft woman, what are you doing to me…" he begged an answer, closing his eyes.
"I need to know, Anakin," she whispered, almost touching his lips with her own several times. One hand was threaded through his hair and the other was playing with the waistband on his pants.
"Need to know what?" He asked, gaining some strength to open his eyes and tilt his head back a little so that he could look at the woman tempting his resolve.
"I need to know how much you love me. More than words, Anakin," she said placing her fingertips over his mouth to silence the three words she knew he was about to say. "I need you to show me just how much…" She moaned, licking her lips, when Anakin pushed his hips up. She knew the barrier of clothing between them was driving him crazy. She wasn't much better, but she was determined with her purpose.
"What are you asking of me?" He sounded like he was going to cry, but he couldn't blame himself. She was teasing him, she knew it, and he was letting her. Yes, she was torturing him and she knew that, too. And he was letting her do it because he had never wanted anything more in his life.
"I need you to show me how much you love me, Anakin. I need to feel what Palo couldn't give me." She leaned back slightly and slowly pulled off the heavy robe she wore, watching Anakin's expression change from painful desire to complete realization of what she wanted, as she continued to speak, "I want you, Anakin." She smiled impishly when he abruptly turned his head to the side, not wanting to look at her disrobing herself. She grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her, when all that she wore now was her nightgown, half of it already bunched up past her thighs. "…to apologize."
"This is forbidden." That wasn't what she wanted to hear, apparently. He was unable to hold back his load moan when she quickly jammed her hips forward, bringing her face within inches of his again. "Padmé, please…I can't do this." That wasn't what she wanted to hear either, for now she was squeezing his jaw with strength he didn't think she had. "I'll be thrown out of the Jedi Order if they find out. I've never… I've never done this before, Padmé. Please…"
She cupped both sides of his face and answered his pleas for understanding with one of her own, "I love you, Anakin Skywalker."
His fate was sealed. As a clap of thunder echoed throughout the room, Anakin's look changed to become feral. The growl came just before he slammed his mouth down onto hers, locking her in her future. Padmé had only a second to wonder if she had made the right choice in tormenting him, something he seemed to hate. The thought dissipated and she whimpered at the pressure he used to hungrily devour her mouth.
He didn't give her any room, or air for that matter, to breathe a protest if she had any. His hands fisted in her hair while hers fisted in his shirt. They pulled at each other, as if one couldn't get enough of the other. Her mouth was so sweet, just like it had been before, only this time he tasted her over and over again, each time she tasted sweet and sweeter. He wasn't going to let that kiss, or any other kiss for that matter, become a scar. He invaded her mouth with his tongue and she responded in kind, and with much more aggression than he expected.
She wanted to feel the heat of his body scorching her, she wanted to hear him panting in her ear, and she wanted his cries to mix with her own. She just wanted Anakin and she didn't care of the consequences. This being a forbidden act for him, made him all the more enticing. But right now, she wanted the damn clothing he wore off and out of her way. She lifted herself off his lap and tugged at the gauzy material, hoping to get his attention.
Anakin broke the kiss, breathing heavily, and lifted his arms. He let her pull the tunic over his head and toss it on the floor. He barely let a second go by before she was in his arms again, bruising her lips. He turned them both so that he was leaning back against the propped up pillows at the head of the bed. She followed, continuing to cradle his hardness.
He halted his assault when she began to pull at the waistband of his pants. He captured her hand in one of his and pushed it behind her back, not allowing her to divulge him of all of his clothing just yet. He used his other hand to slip the thin string attached to her nightgown off her shoulder. He nipped at the skin there with his teeth when she pulled his hair with her other hand in protest.
He grinned against her shoulder when she whispered his name, forcefully tugging on his hair. He knew she wanted him to kiss her again. Instead, Anakin took the moment to just study Padmé. Her chocolate brown hair was in disarray about her shoulders, her almond eyes were glazed over with passion, her cheeks were pink, and her lips were rosy and swollen from his kisses. An arrogant twinge ran throughout his body in satisfaction. He wondered if Palo had ever been able to make her burn like this.
He released her hand, beginning to feed her fire by caressing the outside of her smooth thighs. Ever so slowly, he inched up the delicate material of her nightgown under his hands. He watched her drop her head back, moaning slightly, when he moved his hand to the inside of her thighs teasing the sensitive skin there. When he stopped, she was staring down intently at him, waiting for him to make his move.
"What?" She asked sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen forward when she tilted her head down.
Anakin said nothing, but tugged on her nightgown, wanting to get it off of her.
Padmé gracefully lifted her arms up, allowing Anakin to pull her nightgown up and over her head. She was left facing him, clad only in her matching panties. She had never felt so naked in her life, not even with Palo. She resisted the urge to shiver at the coolness she now felt on her skin.
Anakin was thankful his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him when it came to his fantasies of what Padmé looked like under all those gowns. He never imagined any one woman could look so perfect. Her skin looked so smooth and her body so soft. She had round full breasts and a tiny, semi-athletic figure. And she was his, now and forever, no matter if being with her was taboo or not.
During his appraisal of Padmé, some of her hair fell forward covering her breasts and blocking them from his view. Anakin was having none of that. He sat up, pulling her close to him again. He licked his lips, seeing just a hint of her breasts peeking out from under her hair. He took his sweet time; gently brushing the dark curls away and over her shoulder. The dark pink nubs hovering in front of him were just waiting to be savored.
Padmé waited in anticipation of what he would do to her. Palo had never done anything so erotic to her. Anakin was moving so slow and with such care, it was his own little way to torture her. Her breathing was coming in shudders now as she watched his mouth close around a nipple. He used his thumb to tease her other one into a hard pebble, kneading and cupping her breast. She bit her lip and let out small cry as he used his tongue to scrape across the flesh, again and again. He released it from his mouth, only to take the same nub between his teeth, pulling ever so slightly, making her gasp in pleasure. He alternated between using his tongue and his teeth several times before doing the same to her other breast. The tugging and pulling was driving her crazy and she was convinced that he had to have learned how to do this somewhere, but she knew that couldn't be true. Oh Gods, she didn't want him to stop.
Anakin could feel the wetness through her panties on his lower stomach as she rhythmically moved her hips against him. He knew that she was ready for him, but he wasn't exactly certain he could do what Palo hadn't done. However, he was determined to make up for Palo's immaturity of love. Releasing the nipple from his mouth he looked up at her. Her eyes were closed, but the serene look on her face was enough to convince him that he was already doing something right. He sure as hell hoped so, because he didn't think he could stand being confined in his pants any longer. She was going to get exactly what they both wanted and more.
"Take off your panties, Padmé."
The gruff command brought Padmé out of the haze of foreplay. She loosened the grip she had on his hair and bent down to slip off the last bit of fabric on her body. She deliberately took her time, however, keeping her eyes on Anakin's the whole time. They became a dark blue, full of craving and desire. She watched his eyes follow the path her hands took as she crossed them across her stomach, completely naked and shy now.
As soon as she dropped the lingerie off the side of the bed, he leaned forward and kissed the spot just above the patch of dark curls that rested between her legs. He wanted to go down further, but her impatience demanded his attention. He leaned back against the pillows when she pushed him aggressively, allowing her to fumble with the buttons at his waistband. He made no effort to help her, as she seemed determined to get his pants off all by herself. He grinned when she became frustrated that her efforts to confiscate them weren't working. When she sighed, he lifted his hips, allowing her to continue. She pulled them off; finally releasing the erection that had been plaguing him ever since she walked into his bedroom.
Anakin was lithe and strong, with muscles toned by years of exercise and training. His Tatooine tan had stayed with him, too. Looking lower made her feel sorry for Palo in more ways than one. Seeing the blonde, blue-eyed babe beneath her made her forget all thoughts about Palo from then on.
She felt like a lusty wench for getting the urge to taste the bead of wetness that had formed on the tip of his straining flesh. Instead of giving in, she accepted his request for a kiss, while holding onto the headboard and moving to straddle him again. She wanted to feel the more considerable length he had over Palo inside her. Anakin once again placed both hands on her hips, slowly lowering her down onto himself. She gasped loudly, feeling a whole hell of a lot more than she had with Palo.
Anakin gasped at the feeling of entering Padmé, finally groaning when he was fully implanted inside her. It felt so excruciatingly wonderful being inside her. How could anyone forbid this? She fit him perfectly and… oh Force, she moved. All thoughts pertaining to how or why this could be forbidden disintegrated when she lifted her hips again, squeezing him as his length left her.
She began to increase her pace, using the headboard to lift herself up and off of him. He moved his hands up to cup her breasts, groaning at the sensations the friction between them was causing.
Anakin began to lift his hips to meet hers when a sudden thought occurred to him. "Is this how you did it with him?" He asked when he had enough sense to find words.
"Wha…What?" Padmé moaned. Why was he asking that now? Trying to remember, she answered him, "Um, yes…at first."
Anakin forced her to stop by grabbing her hips. He could tell that she was confused that he had made her stop.
"Then we won't do it that way," he stated, sitting up. He pried her hands off the headboard and held them out to her sides so that she couldn't move.
"Anakin, why-" she began to fuss, now feeling like the virgin who didn't know what she was doing.
"Turn around," he demanded, his voice full of sex and lust. When she looked baffled, he repeated what he said and pulled on her arms to get her to do what he said.
She complied, turning herself around, still keeping him inside of her. She relaxed against him, feeling the heat of his chest against her back. She felt him pull her hair over her shoulder and listened to his voice grate in her ear.
"We won't do it that way," Anakin simply explained again, imposing all his Jedi politeness into his voice. The hot breath on the back of her shoulder made her pulse quicken.
He ran the back of his hand down the side of her arm, causing her to shiver. A wicked idea popped into his head when he saw the two ribbons lying not far from where their hips were joined. Padmé didn't seem to notice when he scooped them up in his hand.
She was trying to do something, anything to ease the ache she felt between her legs. Anakin was rock hard and embedded deep inside her, but he was determined to keep her still with the arm that was wrapped around her waist. She whimpered quietly, trying to do anything to move. When she saw the ribbons he held in the palm of his hand, she was intrigued and wondered what he was thinking.
"Anakin, what are you-"
"Do you trust me, Padmé?" Anakin asked in all seriousness then kissed her shoulder.
Her immediate reply pleased him and gave him all the permission he needed. He leaned back, pulling her down with him. He was now in a half sitting position, propped against the pillows. Her back rested against his chest, her legs between his.
He tried to lift her arms above her head, but she resisted, only because she was unsure of what he wanted to do.
"I won't ever hurt you, Padmé," Anakin said, once again trying to move her arms.
It wasn't that she thought he would hurt her, no he would never to do that, it was the excitement of not knowing what his intentions were or what he was going to do next that she was unsure about.
When she nodded and relaxed against him, he was able to bring her hands up together and place them to rest on the center wooden knob to the headboard. Anakin used the ribbons to tie her hands together and then to the knob.
"I promise, Padmé," she heard him say with all sincerity and she believed him. Anakin never lied to her before and she didn't think he would start now.
"I'll show you I love you and more. I'll do more than he could ever do," Anakin whispered, putting his plan into motion. He cupped her breasts, gently fondling them as he continued, "I'll make you forget you had ever been with him. You were meant for me, Padmé. I will love you and protect you forever." Not telling her what he was doing, he placed his hands behind her knees and slowly began to spread her legs apart. "Do you know what the overactive imagination of a virgin can come up with, Padmé?"
"Uunngh," was all that Padmé could answer. Anakin was stretching her legs wide, wider than she ever thought possible. She was secured in such a fashion and position that she was now at his mercy, to where he could take advantage of her at will. That idea made her heart race with exhilaration. Her legs were now spread wide on either side of his.
Anakin brought his own knees up, pushing deeper into her. The gasp that followed made him smile…until she bucked her hips against him.
"Anakin, please…" he heard her beg, moving restlessly against him.
He decided enough was enough and stopped toying with her. His lips met hers as he used her legs as leverage to push her up, then down, making himself slide out of her. He bent his knees under her and lifted his hips, thrusting into her, while he pulled her down onto him. The movement caused her to squeeze him and Anakin almost dropped her legs in reaction. He took a deep breath and lifted into her again, gripping her legs more firmly.
It felt so damn good what he was doing to her. She couldn't do anything but twist against her restraints and pant into the side of Anakin's neck, when he began to increase his rhythm, but keeping it just slow enough to drive her insane. He was hitting a spot inside her she didn't even know existed. She gasped loudly when he pulled her legs closer to her chest, still keeping them wide. He was using his legs to lift himself into her as much as he wanted, while slamming her down onto him.
She thought she was going to really going to cry this time. Not in pain, but-Oh Gods, he kept hitting that spot. That perfect little place inside her that was creating a slow build up of something deep inside her…
Anakin wasn't even sure if she was registering all the naughty little things he was saying to her. She was biting her lower lip so hard, he was sure she was going to draw blood. He himself was doing everything in his power to keep from releasing into her and screaming like a madman at the tightness he felt each time he entered her. His palms were becoming sweaty and he was losing his grip on her and quite possibly his own sanity.
When her whimpers had become cries and her cries had become screams of his name, he knew that he had succeeded in his goal to prove he was a better man than Palo was in the way she wanted. He wanted nothing more now than to surge into her over and over until he got his own release.
Feeling her arch her back, he dropped her legs to the bed, letting her shiver for only the fewest of seconds. He stopped pumping into her, leaving her body before he slipped out from underneath and turned over onto her. He didn't think Padmé had the strength to wrap her legs around his waist, so he did it for her.
Her hands still being held hostage by ribbons, Anakin wrapped his hands around hers before surging into her with as much strength as he could find. He heard her gasps mix with his heavy panting as he continued to pound into her, this time using the headboard as leverage.
"Padmé… I love you… so…much."
His orgasm raged throughout his body as if he had just been hit by one of the lightning bolts that struck outside. Anakin cried out as he exploded inside of the woman writhing below him, forcing himself to continue pumping into her until he felt spent. Finally he halted, arching his own back as wave after wave of blissful throbbing washed over him, until he collapsed on Padmé.
Anakin lifted his head, then realizing that Padmé was crying softly beneath him. He quickly reached up and snapped the ribbons, allowing her hands to be freed.
He wiped away her tears with his hands, begging to know if she was all right.
"Padmé? Are you okay? Don't cry… please?"
It was only then that Padmé realized that she had been crying. What had happened what just too much for her to describe. It was powerful, wonderful, and amazing. She looked up at Anakin who was softly stroking her hair, looking at her with questioning eyes, wanting to know if she was all right.I need to know…
The thought sang in her mind, knowing that it had come from Anakin. She smiled and nodded, not trusting her voice to tell him the right words. All she could do was mouth a thank you before pulling his head down for a soft kiss, one full of love and hope for the future.
"No… no… mom…no!"
Anakin jerked awake from his horrible dream, gasping for air and trying to regain some sense of where he was. He looked to his side and saw Padmé sleeping softly on her stomach next to him. The sight of her next to him instantly calmed him, but he was still concerned about the vision he saw. He had to do something about it, anything, to try and save his mother. He hoped Padmé would understand. He would beg and plead with her to understand that this was what he had to do.
With that thought in mind, he turned onto his stomach, resting his face on her shoulder, hoping to claim some of the sweet dreams he knew she must have been having…