Partridge in a Pear Tree: When Turkeys go to Hell

Raven was lying on her back on the couch of the main room.

Raven… didn't feel good…

And Raven was cursing Christmas Dinners to hell.

She groaned and screwed her face into a distressed grimace. It was the morning after she'd consumed her gargantuan Christmas meal and she was experiencing what might be equated to a holiday-turkey induced hang-over.

Raven groaned again. Her stomach felt about prepared to burst and the discomfort was treading dangerous ground on her nerves. She clutched her stomach and scowled miserably. How was it that twelve hours later she was still feeling sick from gorging on the festive meal? Admittedly, it had been a rather abrupt leap from her usual diet composed of meager amounts of pizza and boat-loads of herbal tea.

…herbal tea…

…might be nice.

Raven struggled into a sitting position. She knew she was in no condition to fetch the beverage herself, for threat of spewing many unpleasant things out onto the carpet. And thus the contemplation began. It had been fairly obvious to the empath and the two boys that Robin and Starfire had exchanged a few… extra Christmas gifts… after they'd all retreated to their bedrooms. The new complication to the relationship between Boy Wonder and Alien Princess had been an inevitable expectation, though, and Raven decided neither of them would be the best to summon for health.

She assumed that they would want as much time together before the holiday season slunk away and their faithful villains began rampaging the city again. Considering that, she was left with her two favorite Titan oafs to enlist.

Raven continued to ponder.

To entreat both of them was asking to have a fire cracker lit and then shoved down one's throat. The half-demon pondered which of the two she most trusted with the tedious task of making her tea. Finally, she decided the best and only solution to comply with would be to wait on the couch for whichever of the two appeared first. Inevitably, one of them would come out in hopes of some 'game-time' or other main room activity.

Coinciding with her hypothesis, one of the two Titan males happened to saunter in a few minutes later. Raven peered over the edge of the couch, stomach still quite miserable, and met the devilishly amused gaze of the resident changeling.

Of course, Beast Boy was in wonderful spirits having refused to touch any of the Christmas meats laid out for them the previous evening. She sniffed. Stupid vegetarian… definitely not fair…

"Beast Boy…" Raven droned, her voice heavy with extreme discomfort.

"…Rae-Rae…" Beast Boy hummed in reply, impish entertainment playing across his features. It was as if he knew what Raven was going to say. To ask…

"First of all, never call me Rae-Rae. It's demeaning. Secondly… I need… a favor. From you." She managed to grit out with a considerable amount of effort. After all, she didn't usually ask for things from the likes of anyone. Let alone Beast Boy.

"Really, now…" The green teen gave her a fanged smirk. "How may I assist, m'lady?" he slurred cockily, swaggering over to stand but inches in front of the couch.

"No ideas, Beast Boy. I need herbal tea. Now. I don't feel well… from all that food last night…" she sighed. Beast Boy chuckled.

"Sure it's not just gas?" he asked. Raven frowned and lifted a hand, sending a surge of telekinetic energy up like a wall before the changeling and knocking him to his butt.

"It's not gas. I don't… do… gas." She growled. "Now, will you be so kind as get me some tea or not? I would… really appreciate it." She added slowly. Beast Boy regarded her for a moment and then nodded, scampering off towards the kitchen area.

"Do you even know how to make tea!" Raven called after him, staring at his back. He gave a thumbs up in reply. The dark girl snuggled into her cloak and flopped back onto the couch. She really didn't feel well at all…

After a good fifteen minutes of various crashes and clangs, Raven lay frozen in an eternal flinch. Beast Boy finally made it over to her, carrying a steaming mug in one outstretched hand. "Well 'ere ya go!" he beamed, actually quite proud of himself. Raven looked at it suspiciously before daintily accepting it in two small hands.

She bent her head over the mug to inhale the bitter-sweet scent and feel the heat fan across her face. "Mmm…" she muttered to herself.

"Um, you haven't even tasted it…" Beast Boy objected. Raven glanced up with her stormy indigo eyes.

"It smells good, though. Now just… be quiet for a second…" she murmured, staring back into the dark liquid.



"Hey, before you drink that you have to give me some sort of award," Beast Boy blurted. Raven shifted in her spot and looked up at him.

"…Oh? What kind of payment are you going to demand? Technically… you're saving yourself the task of cleaning my puke off the floor by getting me this," Raven droned. Beast Boy winced slightly at the thought.

"Er, right. Well, I think you still ought to give me payment. And I'm requiring a… a… another kiss!" he said, deciding upon his fee swiftly. Raven scowled.

"When turkeys go to Hell…" she sniffed. Perhaps a bit spontaneous as far as come-backs go, but it was currently a prevalent thought in her mind and thusly suited her purpose of creatively stating…


"Well ok then." Beast Boy said. Raven was, admittedly, surprised by his lack of persistence. However, when she looked at him… she understood. Beast Boy stood in the form of an emerald-feathered turkey in the center of the main room, a smug avian-smirk on his… beak.

She blinked several times before frowning. "Hrmf. Well how do you know you're going to hell, turkey boy," she grunted. Beast Boy resumed his human form.

"Heh, just an assumption that after you kiss me… that's where you're gonna send me," he grinned. Raven's lips twitched, and then… she smiled. Very slightly, but amused none the less. As she sipped from her herbal tea, Beast Boy stood wide-eyed.

"Well hot damn! You smiled! At one of my jokes!" he crowed. She rolled her eyes and pulled the mug away from her mouth.

"Let's not press this idea of me sending you to Hell, alright?" she replied with a snort. Beast Boy saluted. Raven gave what appeared to be a weary roll of her eyes and then motioned him over.

"Well come on then. I don't want to be accused of forcing you into servitude or something. Get your kiss and let's be done with it," she snapped. BB grinned wide and pranced over to her.

She sighed and shook her head…

And it was the day after Christmas.

Author's Note: Well, this is the end of my Christmas fic. for the year... two days later than I'd hoped. Oh well... I hope you liked it. I just intended to have a short little chapter focussing on my favorite secondary couple to wrap everything up. So, a couple days late and all, I know... I still want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday Season. Enjoy it!


Princess Starfire of Tamaran