Club Angst: Where Depression Meets Comedy

Summary: Harry and Hermione have a fight, and Ron takes Harry to Club Angst where weird things happen.

"Why were you fighting?"

"I don't even know anymore. Is this the place?"


Twenty-five year old, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley stepped up to the steps of a all Wizarding club called: Club Angst. After the weird fight with Harry and Hermione, Harry needed a break from the world. He didn't even know how the fight began with his sister-in-law, but it happened. Maybe it happened a little too fast, and maybe that's why Ron took Harry here to this club.

The club on the outside looked gloomy. The paint was peeling off the bricks, and the sign that said open was missing a few lights so it said, "Oen". Harry looked at the place sadly. It reflected his mood a little. So was this a place for all sad wizards to go? Were there any witches that got so depressed that they came to this place?

"Come on Harry, don't just stare at it."

Ron led him up the steps and into the club. It was just as gloomy as the outside. Sad music played, no one was dancing, in fact there were only two other people there. The wizard behind the counter was snoozing as he stood up, and the witch lay in a drunken heap. Or at least it looked like a drunken heap. They really weren't sure if she was even alive.

Ron sat on a stool. Harry followed suit, carefully stepping over the drunken witch. Ron pounded the counter. The wizard came alive at once, and stared in the eye. "Yeah, what do you want?"

"I would like a Wet Willie, and my friend here wants a Super Nova with a lemon twist." Ron answered.

It was like Ron just spoken a different language to Harry. What was a Super Nova? And what was a Wet Willie? Harry watched as the bartender got two big flasks and filled them with some sort of drink. He then turned to one, adding a lemon, and turned to the other adding a whole bunch of other types of drinks. Harry wondered if any of them were wizard kinds, and if any at all were poison.

"Thanks." Ron said, as the bartender handed them their drinks.

Ron took his and took a drink. Harry watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his cloak, and eyed Harry's flask. "You have to drink it mate."

"What will happen if I do?" Harry asked.

"You'll see things—" Ron answered.

"I don't want to see things." Harry interrupted.

"Let me finish! You'll see things in a new perspective." Ron said.

"Have you been here before?"

"Many a times."

Harry stared at his foreign drink. Would it kill him? He wondered about that for a few more moments, and then thought, he'd been through tougher situations and nothing could scare him now. Not even a little drink.

So he took one last deep breath and took a big gulp. He found himself leaning back, as he downed it all, and falling onto the back of his head. He lay motionless with his back on the floor.


Harry woke up, still on his back, with a very fiery sensation. He felt really happy, all the sudden, as he sat up and took a look around. He was still at the club, although light was pouring from the windows. He blinked a couple of times, trying to remember what had happened the night before. Nothing came to mind.

He sat up, still feeling happy and fiery, and looked around.

The witch, who had been on the floor the night before, was up brewing a potion in the corner. Ron was sitting on the bartenders lap, sleeping, as was the bartender. Both had a cup of something in their hands.

"They'll be feeling something when they wake up." The witch said quietly. She handed Harry a cup of something. Not really realizing what it was, and not caring, he drank it down. The fiery sensation stopped leaving Harry just plain old happy.

"What was that…feeling?" Harry asked.

"Did you have a Super Nova with the lemon twist?" The witch asked. Harry nodded. "It's the lemon. It must have given you some sort of lung burn."

"Lung burn?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Yes," The lady said. "Don't worry, though. It doesn't harm a witch or wizard of any kind. It just kind of burns for a while."

Harry slumped onto the stool, and looked at Ron. "What happened?"

"You don't remember," the witch suddenly had a smile on her face. "Mr. Pop-neck Potter?"

"Pop-neck Potter?" Harry asked. He was afraid. Did he do something horrible while he slept?

"Yes, Mr. Pop-neck Potter." The witch said. "And your friend there, Mr. Whip-Whack Weasley did a wicked stand up song for us last night."

"I really would like to know what happened." Harry said.

"Come here then."

The witch took Harry to the corner. There she had all sorts of things and medicines set up for the morning sober-up potions and other things like that. Harry guessed she was a trained medi-witch. Along with everything else there was a Pensive. The witch took out her wand, and held it to her head. A strand of memory came out with her wand, and she swirled it into the pensive.

"Go ahead and look." The witch said, letting Harry step closer to it.

Harry stuck his head inside, and felt himself being sucked in. After a few moments he landed in Club Angst, standing behind the counter with the bartender.

"Have you been here before?"

"Many a times."

Harry watched himself contemplate whether to drink it or not, and then watched as he fell back while drinking it So the witch had been watching from this point onwards, Harry guessed, because she wouldn't of had that memory otherwise.

And as soon as he fell, the witch got up. Ron smiled and waved at her, as she curtsied. She then jumped over the counter, and watched as Ron helped Harry up. Harry looked at himself. Hehad a look that ment that he wascarefreetowards the world,yet he lookedlooked even drunker then Ron ever did in his own life.

"You okay, mate?"

"Bring on the Rum!" Harry said, throwing his fists into the air. He wobbled a little, but Ron caught him.

"You heard what my mate said!" Ron said with a big grin. "More drinks!"

Harry hated watching himself drink. He couldn't handle anything Ron or the bartender handed him. It just made him more, and more, drunk, and more and more annoying. But to everyone else he was the life of the party. The party of four.

That's when it happened. Harry, the one who just got drunk, popped his neck. Everyone watched in astonishment as he popped it back, no harm done at all.

"Whoa!" Harry said, rubbing his neck a little. "I never knew I could do that!"

Apparently the Harry who was watching didn't know either. He felt his own neck, just to make sure nothing was broken, because he knew no one last night had probably did. And he was right, things went on like nothing happened, but now he knew where he got the nickname.

After more and more consumptions of drinks, things were starting to get wild. Harry couldn't move off his stool, and Ron was telling the most horrid jokes. One did strike Harry, the not drunk Harry, funny though. But after that one he didn't know why his drunken self was laughing so hard.

"Hey! Hey! How 'bout I sings us a tune?" Ron asked, splashing his drink all over.

"Ooh, ooh!" The bartender, apparently drunk too, yelled. "Sings us something by that American muggle woman…er…what be her name?"

"Britany Spears, Marvin?" the Witch asked.

"Yes, yes! Hers! Thankies Victoria!" Marvin, the bartender, said, giving Victoria, the witch, a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"What song?" Ron asked, finishing his drink in another big gulp.

"Ah…Crazy!" Marvin said. "I always loved that one!"

Ron laughed, and Harry watched as Ron wiped his mouth and went to the stage. The sad music stopped, and Ron cleared his throat.

"I think I'll go crazy if I don't find your love,
I think I'll go crazy if I don't find my dove,
Oh baby, baby!"

Sober Harry stood there laughing his head off. Ron was out of tune, his words were slurring, and no one could get the meaning of the song. But drunk Harry, Marvin, and Victoria watched him in awe.

When Ron finally stopped, his last verse being 'Baby you hold me, keep me up all day', Marvin and Victoria started to clap. Ron bowed, almost falling to the floor, and staggered back over.

"That was brilliant Mr. Whip-Whack Weasley!" Marvin said, clapping once more. Victoria shook her head, and poured herself a drink.

"That was awesome, mate!" Harry said, slapping Ron's back when he sat down.

Sober Harry's vision of the club started to blur. He took a look over to Victoria and noticed that she took a swig of a drink and started to get a little tipsy herself. This meant the memory was starting to waver a little. Harry watched as the drunken Harry took another drink out of his flask.

This time he fell backwards again, and landed hard on the ground.

"He'll be okay in the morning." Harry heard Victoria say.

And then Harry felt himself being pulled up out of the pensive. He shook his head. He was back in Club Angst.

"So," Victoria said, pouring sober-up potions into two cups. "What do you think Mr. Potter?"

"I think I never want to get into such a fight with Hermione again." Harry said, shaking his head. He was a horrid drinker, and Ron was a bad singer.

They heard a groan, and turned to Ron and Marvin.Ron's drink landed with a crash to the floor. Marvin was finishing the last of his drink, while Ron looked terribly sick on the floor. Apparaently Marvin kicked Ron to floor. Victoria quickly went over and passed them the sober-up potions, Ron stood up to drink his. He then collapsed onto the floor after drinking it, and looked visibly better. Marvin drunk his, and went to a stool. There he slumped onto the counter, and fell asleep.

"Ron, we'd better get going." Harry said, finding their cloaks, and handing Ron his.

Ron got up, and slowly pulled the cloak on. He reached into his pocket for his moneybag, but Victoria stopped him.

"It's on the house Mr. Weasley." She said.


Victoria walked them to the door, and opened it for them. "Thank you for coming to Club Angst. Hope you come again."

"I'll think about that one." Harry said with a smile.

He and Ron started walking down the street. "So why is it that I don't have a hangover?" Harry asked.

"It was the lemon." Ron said, rubbing his face. "It kept you from feeling anything."


They walked in silence a little more. Ron was finally waking up, feeling much better, and had the sudden urge to use the bathroom. But before they separated, he asked Harry, "So did you like Club Angst?"

"It was…interesting." Harry replied with a smile. "It certainly cheered me up some."

Ron smiled, and patted Harry's shoulder. "I'll tell Hermione you said hello."

"Please tell her I'm sorry." Harry said. "For…well whatever we were fighting about."

"I'll tell her."

Ron pulled out his wand, and gave it a flick. He was gone with a pop. Harry only lived a few blocks away. There was no need for apparating. He walked on, hoping his day would go brighter, and that he wouldn't need another trip to Club Angst any time soon.


Hello, Lala Rue here, and I kinda lied.

I said the next story I would post would be 'Crazier Things Have Happened' my Ron and Snape story (Note: NOT A PARING!), but I wrote this story, and I'm posting it now...ahh well... Said new story was supposed to be my break from the sequel to Little Lily, another one of my HP stories, but I didn't post it...

Ah well...

Hope you liked this One Shot!

Love, La'Ruelia!