Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy

Kari Minamoto

Summery: One-shot Ken has a hard time dealing with the holiday season since the memories of his past always seem to haunt him at this special time. Ken recalls his favorite and his least favorite Christmases from the past along with the hope that his brother will always be there for him. Very minor Kenyako.

Author's Note: I really wanted to post a Christmas fic and I know I am cutting it close with this one. I had to think of an idea. First it was going to frontier, then I was going to attempt tamers, but then I was thinking about Ken. He's kind of like a tragic hero with an awful past. That past must always haunt him around the holidays so why not write my interpretation? Enough blabbering, here is my Christmas fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon or anything associated with it.

Ken was standing in the corner of his apartment's living room watching then party unfold in front of him. Since meeting the digidestined two years ago it has become a tradition. The cream colored walls had green and red garland strung across the walls and the couch and chairs were covered in green and red slip covers. There were 'Merry Christmas' signs everywhere as well as Santa knickknacks.

His mom had put a wreath with a big red bow on the doors, but his dad had gotten carried away the most. His father had strung multi-colored lights on the balcony to inspire others to get into the Christmas spirit. The only problem was Ken was not in it either.

As he looked around the room he saw the digimon and his best friends, even Mimi who had insisted on coming to Japan for the holidays.

Tai and Matt looked to be arguing over food while Agumon and Gabumon looked on. As this was occurring, Kari and T.K. had taken a seat on the couch with their drinks and enjoyed each others company. The other digidestined and digimon were lounging about around the apartment, the digimon mainly near the food.

Ken felt left out from it all, the holidays were never his favorite time of year since it brought back the good memories, as well as the bad. The holidays are times for families to get together, to be happy and merry, but when you are missing a large part of your family, the holidays can become depressing. At least they were to Ken.

He always remembered the best Christmas ever, the one before his brother had died…

"Come on Kenny boy! Wake up its Christmas!" a boy wearing green pajamas and wire rimmed glasses said while shaking his younger brother.

As soon as he heard this, Ken jumped out of bed and right past his older brother and out the bedroom door.

"Hey no fair, I get to open the first present since I woke up first!" the older boy said with playfulness catching up to his brother.

"But Sam, I'm your favorite little brother can't I open the first one?" Ken said while his bottom lip trembled and looked at his feet. The little boy was wearing red pajamas to match his brother.

"You're my only little brother. How about at the same time?" asked Sam while gazing at the tree.

It had beautiful white lights and garland as well as homemade ornaments done by the two boys. Under the tree was a sea of presents- the green being Sam's and the red being Ken's (to match their pajamas of course!).

"Okay," Ken agreed picking up two presents and handing the green one to his brother. "Ready, one, two, three, go!"

At the go the two dove into the presents. They tore through them in mere minutes. After half an hour the floor was covered on colorful paper. The brothers surveyed their handiwork. Toys, video games, music, super heroes, and books were everywhere. The most impressing thing though was the two new shiny bikes- one for each of them; the red one for Sam and the black for Ken.

"This is the best Christmas ever, isn't it Sam?" Ken exclaimed while looking at the bike with large eyes.

"Right now it is Kenny boy, but there are many more to come," Sam told his younger brother.

As Ken reminisced about his brothers' last Christmas, he could not help but remember the first Christmas of many as an only child…

Ken woke up on Christmas morning later than previous years since Sam was not there to wake him up and he never would be again.

Ken got slowly out of bed and moved toward the living room with its tree full of flickering white lights at a snail's pace.

As Ken looked around, he realized there were not as many presents under the tree this year, since he was now the only one.

Ken reached for a present and realized the one next to it had Sam's name on it and Ken knew Sam would never get the chance to open it.

"I didn't want you to die," Ken whispered to himself as he looked at the place where the two bikes had been the previous year, however only one was left and it was currently in storage. Sam had been riding it two weeks ago when he was hit by the car and killed.

Ken went back down the hall passed his room and entered Sam's. Ken sat down on his brothers' bed and just cried.

"Ken, Ken, Ken! Are you there?" Yolei practically screamed at Ken taking him out of his memories.

"What is it Yolei?" Ken asked in a gentle voice.

Yolei just looked at him with large eyes in her white shirt under a green one and red skirt. Her hair was put into an intricate bun.

"What?" Ken asked again while starting to get nervous.

She just smiled and said, "You're standing under the missile toe" and leaned in kissing him.

Ken blushed twelve shades of red and started stuttering.

"Don't say anything, let's go join the others," Yolei said while Ken willing let himself be dragged along.

As he was being dragged he could not help but think of his brother as a single tear fell from his eye.

'I'll never forget you Sam, Merry Christmas wherever you are.'

As he joined the other digidestined, Ken could not happen but wonder if Sam was watching over him right now. At this thought a gentle breeze blew across Ken's face and Ken was almost sure he knew the answer to his own question, Sam was definitely there.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this short, rushed, cutting it close to Christmas one-shot fic. I just got out of school for Christmas break and finally had time to type this. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll try to update my other fics since I now have more time. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and Happy Kwanza! I also wish you all a Happy New Year!

Please read and review (it would be a great present)!