Winds Of Whiskey Breath: Good Bye, Tortuga
A/N: The Official Sequel to 'Jack Gets Hungry' This is my surprise guys! You'll all love it! We'll start on the many adventures of Captain Avery Jayee! By the way, some of the little remarks are not supposed offend anybody... but are only showing how hostile Captain Avery Jayee can be... also since I'm writing this.. I've decided 'Jack Gets Hungry' starts before the movie... just because I can..
Disclaimer: No I don't own Pirates Of The Caribbean, But thanks for thinking I could own something so awesome. I do however own The Awesomest Made Up People in the world, Captain Avery Jayee, Christina, (the barmaid) and whatever other people I decide to create!
Billy: If they're were the 'awesomest' made up people in the world you wouldn't own them..
Mel: oh whatever Billy you're just jealous of my talent..
Billy: Jealous of your talent? chuckles
Mel: that hurt, I'm not feeding you for a week!
Billy: You don't feed me, I'm a ghost... remember?
Mel: You know you're a ghost just because I say you are, right? I could turn you into my imaginary friend... and they have to eat! Why else do little girls have tea parties with them?
Billy: No, I am not! And imaginary friends aren't REAL it's just little girls drunk off tea hallucinating!
Mel: Oh, whatever!
Billy: Okay, believe what you wish...
Mel: If you're telling the truth, then I won't let you watch Buffy or Pirates Of The Caribbean then!
Billy: Hey that isn't fair, you know I was only letting you prove your genius and talent to those who don't have the common knowledge of it!
Mel: Aw, Billy that's why I let you watch TV smiles inside
Billy: Of course that's why you let me! squirts Mel with imaginary squirt gun
Mel: Hey, I thought we were friends! Squirts Billy with imaginary hose
Billy: We are friends! Just friends with Hostile and Random actions plays with yo-yo
Mel: I guess that's kinda true... pulls out an accordion out of a tulip on shirt
Billy: Dang straight! Blows bubble out of gum that's 3 feet/1 meter big!
Mel:singing while playing accordion Oh Susannah Don't You Cry For Me! I Come From Montana With A Banjo On My Knee!
Billy: I think we should give them their 'long a-waited' story
Mel: Sighs I guess you're right... join us later for, the end!
Will got home from another hard day at the 'smithy' and greeted his wife my kissing her cheek and hugging her while whispering into her ear, "I love you, I really missed you." when he heard a familiar voice "Oh, save it for someone who doesn't know about your condition." "Jack?" Will asked getting up from Elisabeth/Mrs. Turner. "The one and only, though I believe even you know my title... but since you're probably already senile, having kids and all. Let me remind you, the name's Captain Jack Sparrow... now don't let that get away from you..." Jack said from the shared doorway of the dining room and 'sitting room' "What's Jack doing here, Elisabeth?" he looked at the 5 month pregnant women sitting on the couch...
"Oh cheer up old chap, Elisabeth didn't invite me, if that's what you're fearing... though, I would've loved an invite when little Leala was born..." he crossed his arms across his chest and looked at Elisabeth "Now, Jack call Ariel, by her given name!""Hey, it isn't my fault you called her 'Ariel'... she's a 'Leala' if I ever saw one...""Jack!" Elisabeth yelled at the somewhat older man... "Fine, I would've loved a little a invitation when little Ariel was born!" "Thank you!" said, Elisabeth happily... "Now, don't you go thinking you won, I only gave in, because you're pregnant and someone told me it's not good for the baby when the woman argues!" Jack said, excusing whatever Elisabeth said 'wrong' "Jack, give up...Now tell Will why you've come!" said, one very stressed Elisabeth... Jack stepped forward losing his usual swagger. And said, "Now, William, I've been thinking... and I decided that this child needs his pirate grandfather." Will groaned... he had some idea of where this was going... "Anyway, me and Lizzy got to talking... and we've decided I would be this child's great 'uncle' seeing how I was your father's best friend... I normally wouldn't agree to such, but I feel the child needs a proper 'father-figure'." Elisabeth elbowed Jack at this point. "Ow, that wasn't very nice Lizzy!" Jack yelled turning around at Elisabeth. Will sighed... he knew what he had to do, "Jack, we appreciate the offer, and all. I just don't think it would be best if our little boy and girl were to grow up around their Half-Daft Pirate Great-Uncle." Jack looked at Will surprised... he really thought he'd have to convince them out of it, after he left their house, when he was done hiding... "Fine, Will I hate you too!...I'm going home!" Will looked at Elisabeth and blinked a couple times... after a while he said, "That was weird..." "Yeah, yes it was." answered Elisabeth
The Story Really Begins:
Captain Avery Jayee decidedthat she wasn't having the greatest day, that she was sure of! For some reason unknown by her, Chris's Tavern only had Rum that was made in FRANCE! What did the french know about anything alcohol-related other then wine? So she was stuck with some straight whiskey in her mug... it was okay but, still wouldn't be in the running with the crappiest un-french rum she had ever tasted in her life!
She tried to talk to Chris because she was hadn't been so bored since the time her 'mother' left her in that old lady's house who made her call her 'grandma' while she was out 'working'. More like working noblemen... but enough of that... basically it was the first time since then, she had been sober.. Or at least partially... this whiskey just doesn't have that rum fire, she has enjoyed over these years...well anyways Chris has attend to 'customers' these people are so drunk out of their minds that they can't tell crap from quality rum. 'I just might have to leave Chris's Tavern for good... if one can't have a good drink there, what else could one do?' I sighed and drank the rest of my whiskey being to lazy to go across the street to what ever tavern stood there.
'I can't believe this.. Infamous/Notorious Captain Jayee... rotting with the other low-lifes in Tortuga.. All In A Good Day's Work...
Pathetic really... waste of talent and of a pirate.' She yelled "Chris give me 3 more... and keep 'em coming!" 'maybe if she had enough... she'd get drunk enough to stop noticing how much of a waste her life was. Sure she was famous, world-known in fact... Filthy Rich, and Feared by all... but what else was there?'
She chugged the next 3 whiskeys... then she heard a familiar voice.. "I've always liked a girl who likes her liquor."
She groaned... not tonight... any other night would be fine... but not tonight.. She turned towards where she heard the voice... making her look straight into the eyes of no other then Captain Jack Sparrow... "What do ya want, Captain Sparrow..."
"Oh, I just wanted to have a drink, and maybe catch up with one of my fellow comrades."
Avery groaned again loudly. Jack raised an eyebrow "What did you have dinner plans with someone?" Avery answered, "Why yes Jack, of course. I always have dinner plans with my favorite dinner guest, rum." "Would you allow me to join you and rum?" "I'd rather spend my time with 'rum' alone. If you don't mind." "Oh, but I do... after all. Looking at you, I'd say rum was my friend years before he was yours." this was just annoying didn't he have someone else to bother? "That makes me feel young Jack, but we both know he was mine before he was ever yours." "Is that so?" Jack questioned... Jack, has to answer everything with a question if he can manage it. "Yes, I'm afraid it is. Over these last few weeks you've become the person who knows the most about me, alive." I answered truthfully "Not many people know you other then Christina, do they?" Jack pointed his head towards Chris... the barmaid and my best friend since childhood. "No, no they don't Jack, I like it that way." I got up and started heading for the door, I could be wearing a sign that said, 'Leave me alone, I don't wanna talk to anyone.' and I swear Jack would still be acting like this.
I groaned loudly when I heard Jack's uneven steps following me... I turned around making him almost walk into me, "Jack, why can't you leave me alone... please just this night." Jack smiled what I think some girls would call a 'charming' smile... "Only if you let me bed you, tomorrow night." "Jack!" I said warning him what I'll do if he continues "Okay the next night!" "No!" "Okay, I guess a week from now." "No." "Fine, Chris a week from now..." "If she says yes." "I'll take it!" Jack smiled happily thinking that he won... I did, I got rid of him for 2 days tonight and when Chris says yes. Chris has been wanting him to 'approach' her for days... I smiled and said, "Goodbye Jack." "Wait!" and that's when he decided to plant a big wet one! Right after we agreed that he would sleep with my best friend in a week if she said he could. Disgusting! I, of course, slapped him hard. Then I had my sword to his throat in 2 seconds flat! "Jack, what did you think I was gonna do?" he gulped "I figured you'd do this, but I thought I should give it a try." he said grinning... he has got to be the biggest idiot in the Carribean! It amazes me sometimes...
"Well it didn't work! And you only succeeded in making me hate you more!" he chuckled! Can you believe the nerve of that man! "Is that a bad thing? If you're only after lust why would that be bad?" After lust? After lust? I do not lust. And even if I do, I at least get the man before the end of the night... anyway If I wanted to, I would have Jack, I mean because he's basically throwing his self at me! I'm not flattering myself believe me... I pushed my sword in harder, and said, "Is that what you think? You're the one basically throwing yourself at me, if I were in 'lust' as you like to call it I would have caught you, instead of throwing you out to the curb!" "Is that true, unless of course. You, for some reason unknown to me, think that it would be bad that I think you're a whore!" he said almost reasonablely. "You know, if I was absolutely full of myself and if I didn't know what was going on in my pretty little head, I might've thought the same!" I said truthfully. He just looked at me and smiled again. "If I didn't know any better I would say that is a very good point." he said. "Good Bye Jack!" I said, hopefully for the last time tonight. "Goodbye Avery!" he waved and I yelled, "That's Captain to you!" and I finally went home to my wonderful ship... named the 'Lucky Fox' I got out the 'crew's' rum and had myself the night of a lifetime... or at least the drink of a lifetime...
Women! Unbelievable, attractive, creatures! So confusing... or at least this one... usually if I do that, they continue it...further...
But this one! This one, is very different...and she wants me to call her Captain! Ridiculous, I'll call her captain when I see her 'ship' most likely another girl who named her 'rowboat' some ridiculous name of some famous vessel. Oh, what a stop! I'm starting to hate this girl!
'Ugh, I must've drunken a lot... never have woken up with a hangover... Better check where I am...' Avery opened her eyes... sending what I'm sure was blinding to her eyes light... dilating her pupils to a point where they were almost invisible... Oh, god... I must've done something bad... she felt someone move as she opened her eyes... she looked down at herself... she saw a tanned arm around her front... and saw that she didn't happen to have clothes on! Now that struck Avery as a little odd... she always sleeps in her clothes... unless she wasn't sleeping... and then it hit her... She decided to see what taste 'the super drunk' her had... when she looked at the man next to her... her eyes widened...
It was no other then Jack Sparrow!... she thought in her head... Then the tanned man sleepily said, "Captain Sparrow, captain.. Why do people always forget that part?" she also noticed that Jack was not clothed also... and was hogging the blanket... who would've thought the Infamous Captain Jack Sparrow was a bed hog! Too underestimate a little... she freaked... big time!
She got dressed and had her sword to Jack's Throat in the blink of an eye! "Is this a new tradition?" Jack asked sleepily "No!" she answered angrily, stunned that he didn't take her threat seriously...
"Well it seems anytime I'm unable to react... you pull your sword up to my throat." Avery looked Jack over... it seemed he was in the process of putting on his pants... I guess he's kinda right... but besides that... "Why am I here?" "Because your own legs brought you here..." Jack answered rolling his eyes... "Are you saying... I came here on my own?" Avery stupidly asked... "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying..." Jack answered pulling his pants up and doing up his belt.. He starting to move forward.. "Stop!" said Avery thinking he was trying to escape.. "Why, just grabbing my shirt, and jacket?" Jack answered walking forward and sure enough on the ground was his shirt, jacket, and other belongings that weren't on his 'person' right now.
Dang, I don't think last night was one of my bests... I apparently thought out loud because Jack said, "You weren't too bad... a little too drunk to finish... but" he stuck out his hand and waved left to right slightly single it was okay...
But I didn't finish he said... right? I mean that means the most I really did was make out with him... maybe get undressed... right? That's better then what I thought... I pressed the blade harder against his throat to get my point across... I leaned in very close... so much I know he could feel my breath on his face... "Leave me alone, Jack..." he watched me as I made sure I had all my things together... never said a word... and for Jack... being silent is something that just doesn't happen... This is a very weird day... I get hung over for the first time in my life! Find out that I almost slept with the 'legendary' Captain Jack Sparrow... and Jack shut up!
I swear never to drink on purpose again!
I can't keep that... maybe just while in Tortuga... yeah, that sounds 'bout right...
When I was sure I had ALL my things together... I went up to Jack and slapped him... and said, "You shouldn't try to take advantage of drunk women, Jack!" then I did something even better... I took his hat... and placed it on my head... went up to him and slapped him again! Then said, "Goodbye Jack maybe I'll see you again... I doubt it, though." all he did was glared at me... another unusual thing for Jack... if he's pissed he'll let you know...
And then I left Tortuga...Forever...
A/N: Okay I know this is a weird story... it wasn't supposed to end up this way though... but it did, and I can't say I'm not satisfied... Happy Holidays Everyone!
A/N2: Oh and this is the surprise... there will be a chapter2... so see-ya later everyone!
Billy: Bye peoples.. Read all of it please...and review... don't just use this for your enjoyment and then just leave it's rude!
Mel: Billy, they can review if they want... turns around towards audience But, you wouldn't mind typing out a few words for a girl like me, would you? puppy eyes
Billy: Please, she'll beat me if you don't! Puppy Eyes
Mel: Now, Billy we both know that isn't true... don't go around spreading lies and rumors...
Billy:sighs Okay... Happy Holidays Everyone!
Mel: Until next time Tips hat
Yeah later peops Uses yo-yo to break Computer screen
Thank You For Reading!