Title: Here Comes The Bride
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Marc Cherry.
Description: Bree/Lynette. Bree's cousin's wedding…in Las Vegas.
Spoilers: Surprisingly none
Breeand Lynette were shopping. Actually, Bree was frantically buying everything in sight and Lynette was pushing the cart. "Do we really need all these rolls of streamers?" Lynette asked.
Bree replied abruptly, "Lynette, just let me operate. This is not the first wedding I've decorated."
Bree's second cousin, Cynthia was getting married in a spur-of-the-moment Las Vegas ceremony. Cynthia was 22 and had just graduated from college, and she thought she was ready to settle down. Bree liked Cynthia more than any other member of their extended family, despite the fact that their personalities were completely opposite one another. Bree was republican, whereas Cynthia was politically so far left, she was practically a communist. Bree was a hardcore Baptist, Cynthia was a hardcore Atheist. Get the picture?
Bree and Cynthia didn't know each other at all, until Cynthia came to spend the summer after her high school graduation on Wisteria Lane with the Van De Kamps. That summer, Bree taught Cynthia how to knit, bake and garden, and Cynthia taught Bree how to have a little fun once in a while, and to be more tolerant.
Cynthia was 18 that summer, and she had taken Andrew and Danielle to the pool every day. Andrew became interested in swimming because Cynthia coached him. Cynthia also had become very close to Lynette, who had been very pregnant and much frazzled during that season of life. Cynthia spent a lot of time babysitting and helping Lynette not go insane. Cynthia loved the disorder and chaos that Lynette's home provided, because she grew tired of the neatness of Bree's.
Bree was hesitant to go to Cynthia's wedding, because A) it was in Las Vegas, B) she had two days notice, and C) no one else besides Bree from Cynthia's side of family was coming because they disapproved of the marriage. Bree probably wouldn't have come either, but she couldn't stand to see her little cousin take her sacred vows without some proper flowers and generally gorgeous things surrounding her.
So Bree agreed to come as long as she could decorate the "chapel." Cynthia insisted she bring Lynette, and Lynette was more than happy to take a long weekend. But now, Bree was driving Lynette crazy with the decorations. They hadn't been in Vegas for over 2 hours and they were already shopping. They hadn't even checked in to the hotel.
"Bree, come on. Her wedding is going to last less than 15 minutes and then we'll have to clean all of this stuff up," Lynette whined.
"Fine, let's go to the hotel and meet Cynthia, her fiancée, and all of her friends for dinner, and then we can do whatever you want, okay?" Bree said as she nudged Lynette out of the way and took over pushing the cart.
Lynette rolled her eyes.
Bree had never spent a day of her life in or near a casino, and now she was going to be sleeping in one. She entered the hotel room as if she were stepping onto a shaky bridge above a snake pit.
"I can't imagine what unspeakable acts have taken place in this room," Bree said as she stepped gingerly around the beds.
"I can imagine," Lynette dropped her suitcase, "Let's hit the slots."
Bree whipped around stunned, "You're actually going to gamble?"
"Um, yeah… we're in Las Vegas and, might I add, in a casino."
"For a wedding-- we are here for a wedding, not… debauchery!" Bree said.
"Oh come on Bree, it's just me and you, no one is going to judge you. You play poker every week, and you're pretty good to. We should go play a little," Lynette smiled and bumped Bree's shoulder. Bree could never resist Lynette's persuasive tactics.
Bree sat down next to the window and looked out at the bright lights of the city. She smirked at Lynette then quickly turned away. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to play a little. But first we are going to dinner with Cynthia. I am dying to see her and meet her fiancé."
"Cynthia, did e-mail you the details of the bachelorette party, right?" Lynette asked hesitantly.
"Bachelorette party?" Bree questioned innocently as she opened the door to leave.
"Oh, Lord," Lynette looked up, "well, I'd better let her tell you about it."
Bree and Lynette came down the elevator, walked past slot machines and half-naked cocktail waitresses to make there way over to the restaurant.
Bree barely recognized Cynthia, she was wearing all black and she was covered in tattoos. "Cynthia? Dear, you look…"
"Bree! Cynthia exclaimed wrapping her arms around her and jumping, causing Bree to jump also. "Meet my man, Quentin."
"Whoa! What's up? You look fine!" the young man said as he embraced Bree in an awkward bear hug. "I'm glad to be part of the family," he said dopily.
Cynthia moved over to Lynette, "Oh, Lynette, you're looking so good, and so skinny. You're not pregnant," Cynthia observed.
Lynette smiled, "No, I'm not pregnant for once."
At dinner, Cynthia's "bridesmaids" joined them. The seven girls looked just like Cynthia. They were very polite, but Bree and Lynette didn't come close to fitting in. Neither of them knew who or what the girls were talking about.
"You know Rosy, Fran, Betty, and Leah are lesbians," Cynthia pointed out four of her bridesmaids. "I feel like all of my friends are gay, but that's what my parents warned me would happen with going to a liberal arts college and being a Women's Studies major. Bree, you like girls, right?" Cynthia asked casually.
"What?" Bree looked nervous.
"You told me you admire women's' bodies," Cynthia shrugged.
Bree's mouth fell open, she looked toward Lynette, and then she whispered with venom to Cynthia, "I told you that in confidence, besides my views have changed."
"Weird," Cynthia smiled and ended it with Bree, and then started on Lynette: "Didn't you date a few women in college?"
"Um… that was a long time ago," Lynette said nervously avoiding Bree's shocked eyes.
An awkward silence fell over the table, until Bree mentioned how tired she and Lynette were, and they were probably going to call it a night. As they said their good nights, Cynthia informed about the next day.
"So tomorrow, the plan is to like get up around noonish, and then we're going shopping. But we're buying outfits for the bachelorette party, and we're picking out clothes for each other, and whatever we pick for you, you have to wear."
"Oh, we weren't planning on coming out with you for the bachelorette party, Cyn." Bree flashed her nice smile.
Cynthia didn't buy it, "Bree, it's my wedding and you and Lynette are coming to the bachelorette party and you are going to do everything we do."
"I will not be partaking in anything I find morally offensive," Bree crossed her arms.
Cynthia rolled her eyes and looked at Lynette, who shrugged, "Lynette, your job is to get her liquored up."
"I will not be getting drunk and neither will you," Bree poked Lynette.
"Bree you need to relax, we're not going to have any fun if you are going to be controlling. It's a bachelorette party, we will be drinking – heavily- and most likely out of little penis-shaped straws," Lynette commented.
Bree looked horrified, "how distasteful."
"See, told ya- Bree's a big dyke-- just look at her. Now Lynette, promise me you'll work on her. I really want to see Bree get a lap dance tomorrow." Cynthia clapped excitedly. "Bree, you will be playing along because it's my wedding!"
"Fine, I'll come," Bree said quickly.
"You bet you will, biotch," Cynthia kissed her cheek and began to walk away.
Lynette looked after Cynthia, impressed, "Wow, I have never seen you cave like that, Bree."
Bree sighed heavily.
Lynette pulled a weary Bree over to the slot machines. Bree shook her head, but Lynette sat her down anyway.
"We'll just start with the nickel slots and work our way up, you promised. Save our machines while I get us some coins," Lynette wandered off, and Bree sat, staring at the flashing screen.
Two hours later, Lynette was out of nickels and sat next to Bree waiting, but Bree was hunched over clicking on 'max bet.' She was in deep concentration and she had 7000 credits.
"Bree, are you about ready to cash out?" Lynette stretched and yawned.
"Yes, just one more spin," Bree said distracted as she sipped her 4th long island iced tea.
"$350, on $5 worth of nickels, that's great—now cash it in, and you can spend it tomorrow," Lynette pulled Bree off her seat. It was 2a.m. and Bree had not realized how drunk she had become since she had been so focused on the game.
"Whoa, okay, let's go upstairs, honey," Lynette lugged a wobbly Bree to her feet and they walked over to the cashier. Bree slipped the money into her purse, and looked to Lynette to guide her.
"That was fun. I'm glad you convinced me to play, I'd never done it before," Bree giggled.
They returned to the room and Lynette supervised Bree, as she had quite an ordeal changing into her pajamas.
"Bree, I didn't know Vegas would have this affect on you. I thought it would be more of a challenge to get you to let your hair down," Lynette said.
They climbed into their separate beds, and Bree asked, as she floated off to her drunken dreamland, "Lynette, did you really date women in college?"
"Did you say that you 'admire' women's bodies? What exactly did you mean by that?" Lynette threw the question back with a flirtatious edge to her voice.
"She didn't make it up, I said it," Bree said lightly. "But who doesn't find the female body more attractive then the male. A woman is a work of art—so soft, curvy and symmetrical..." Bree cut herself off, "So what kind of women did you date? What was that like?"
"Um, you wouldn't be talking like this if you weren't drunk. Go to sleep, Bree."
"I can't sleep over here, the air conditioning is too loud," Bree got out of her bed and crawled in with Lynette.
Lynette rolled her eyes in the dark, "Who are you, woman? My God, you are acting so funny, you drunken jezebel."
"Tomorrow is going to be…." Bree fell asleep and began to snore lightly.
Lynette chuckled quietly, and tried to sleep. She could feel Bree's alcohol-soaked breath on her neck, and it was making her feel unnerved. She could have got up and moved over to Bree's bed, but she didn't. The whole night had made her question, once again, her life choices. How had she gone from dating girls in college, to becoming a mother of four? Being around Cynthia and her bridesmaids made her feel nostalgic for her own college days, and this weekend she had the chance to relive it. Today she found out that Bree 'admires women's bodies,' whatever that meant--Lynette had been admiring her neighbor's womanly body for years. She rolled over and tried to not think about the slumbering redhead next to her.
Thin pricks of bright light made their way into through the loosely drawn blackout curtains and illuminated the bits of dust in the room. Lynette was up and ready to go, the same couldn't be said for Bree. Lynette decided Bree had slept long enough, and it was time for her to greet her hangover with a smile. She threw open the curtains and Bree groaned. Without a word Lynette handed her aspirin and a glass of water. Bree took it gratefully, and slowly got out of bed and got ready to go.
They went downstairs and met Cynthia and the bridesmaids. Rosy began the debriefing, "Okay, everyone find a shopping buddy!" Bree and Lynette were by default buddies. "So first we are heading down the street to 'Taboo, Taboo'. Your mission is to find each other an outfit for the party. Costumes, nighties, lingerie… anything is acceptable! Whatever your buddy finds for you to try on, you have to try on, and you have to buy it and wear it all day and night!"
The store really did have everything one would need for a bachelorette party. As the girls broke apart and began the shopping fest. Bree walked slowly around. She had not spoken to Lynette all day. She could hardly meet Lynette's eyes because she was so embarrassed by her behavior the night before. Bree didn't remember getting into Lynette's bed. She did remember most of their conversation, and she was afraid to ask Lynette just what made her decide to come into bed with her.
Lynette was focused on the task at hand, she had to find something cute for Bree to wear that night. Whatever Lynette picked out, Bree had to wear. She knew Bree was feeling embarrassed, but Lynette was enjoying seeing Bree sweat for once. So when Lynette found a short, black, satin nighty Lynette knew it would be perfect for Bree.
Bree was avoiding Lynette so she stayed at the opposite side of the store from her. She had to pick out an outfit for Lynette fast, so when she saw a short, pink, satin nighty Bree knew it would be perfect for Lynette.
All the girls had gathered near the dressing rooms, and were handing their buddies the outfits they had chosen. There was a lot of screaming and laughing happening. Lynette and Bree stood quietly over to the side of the commotion observing. Bree looked chastely at Lynette to try and determine if there were any hard feelings between them. Lynette smiled and patted her hand. Bree sighed in relief, and they exchanged outfits and went into separate dressing rooms. Immediately they realized they had picked out the exact same thing for each other, except for the color. To top it off, Bree's had pink lace trim, and Lynette's had black lace trim. When they emerged simultaneously, the bridesmaids and Cynthia all stopped their chattering and gasped. Rosy yelled, "Damn, you two mama's are so hotttt! Seriously, take it from us."
Lynette and Bree looked each other up and down; "We are hot," Lynette looked in the mirror and gave a spin. Bree headed back in to the dressing room to change back into her regular clothes, but Cynthia stopped her- "No, once you have found the outfit, and you are in the outfit, you stay in the outfit."
"But we have to pay for them," Bree argued.
"They'll just scan the tag- now go pick out some fishnets and take off that bra," Cynthia gathered up Bree's clothes from the dressing room and handed them to her, then she practically pushed Bree toward the fishnet stocking tower, "It's the rules, Bree."
Bree felt so exposed, she could have just ignored Cynthia and changed her clothes anyway, but then again she could have just not played along with the whole shopping thing- she wasn't sure why she was letting her self get into this situation, but she knew it had something to do with Lynette.
Lynette snuck up behind Bree and dangled a see-through pink thong in her face. "Here, Cynthia put me in charge of accessory duty. I'm supposed to make sure you look sexy enough."
"Sexy enough for what.. No one is going to see my underwear?" Bree questioned.
"I beg to differ, these nighties are really short," Lynette said. "Are you having fun Bree? I mean so far this has been quite an ego boost, we look just as hot as those 20-something girls," Lynette quipped.
"Are you mad at me for how I acted last night?" Bree couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Am I acting mad, sweetie?" Lynette didn't think there was any problem.
"No, I just wanted to make sure I didn't…cross any boundaries," Bree had a hard time getting the words out.
Lynette laughed, "you were adorable, Bree. I am so happy that you are playing along- we're in Vegas, baby. You won $350 last night!"
"Right. Okay, So the pink thong for me, and the black thong for you," Bree took the thongs and fishnets, and Lynette up to the counter where she paid for the outfits. They went back to the dressing rooms and watched the other girls model their costumes. Rosy had on a skintight Catwoman suit, and Cynthia was wearing a slutty white lingerie ensemble. They were also in the company of Little Red Riding hood, Wonder Woman, and an assortment of other interesting hoochies.
The girls hit the casino, in their outfits, to do a little gambling. "Cynthia, what is Quentin doing today?" Bree asked.
"Oh, him and his boys went to one of the whorehouses on the edge of town," Cynthia answered as if it were nothing.
"I can not believe your relationship," Bree gasped.
"Roll, the dice!" The dealer at the craps table yelled at Lynette. She picked up the dice and held them for a moment. She tapped Bree and made her blow on them for luck. Lynette won.
The afternoon wore on, and the ladies gambled away. Bree was having fun with her nickel slots. Eventually, they all got hungry and went to dinner. Lynette had won big at craps and announced she would be buying everyone dinner.
After a great dinner and many laughs, especially elicited from everyone passing by and staring at the women in their clothes, they all went to Celine Dion's show. Bree and Lynette sat next to each other and kept stealing glances at one another when something questionably weird would happen on stage. Overall, the show was amazing.
By the time the party had stepped out of the theater it was time for the real fun to begin. Everyone looked a little tired at this point, but that soon changed when they started drinking.
"I'm not getting drunk again, Lynette!" Bree was adamant as Lynette tried to hand her a shot and link her arm.
"Bree, hon, come on- don't worry. Tonight is the night. Last night was just an accidental bout of drunkenness, tonight is intentional, and I will be right there with you," Lynette coaxed her to take the shot.
Bree licked the salt off of Lynette's hand, and knocked the tequila back like a pro, "I'm only doing this so we'll be on the same level, and you're right-- it's not going to be any fun for me if everyone else is drunk and I'm trying to play 'mom'."
"Exactly," Lynette smiled and then gasped as Bree bent her head down and licked the juice off of Lynette's finger before she bit the lime in her hand.
"Another," Bree's eyes blazed.
An hour later, all the girls were dancing up a storm. Bree and Lynette's short dresses were flying up around them as they danced, but neither of them cared- mostly because everyone dancing was having the same problem. They practically had the bar to themselves.
Leah blew the whistle that signaled it was time to move on. The women gathered their stuff, and laughing, stumbled out onto the strip.
"Cynthia, are you having fun?" Bree asked the intoxicated bride to be.
"Yes! Are you?" Cynthia asked.
"Lynette and I are having a great time. Aren't we Lynette?" Bree wrapped her arm around Lynette's bare shoulder and touched her face.
"Oh, baby!" Lynette put her arm around Bree and they kept walking until they reached a high end strip club. All the girls eagerly followed the sound of pulsating music and went into the dark establishment. After a few words with an employee, the women were escorted into a private room, where their private dancer would be joining them.
A round of cocktails came, followed by a hunky man wearing an outfit that looked vaguely military in design. He introduced himself as Sergeant Sexy.
"Why did they get a male stripper, when over half of our party is gay?" Lynette asked Bree.
"Over-half? Well, Cynthia's not, and this is technically her party," Bree answered.
Sergeant Sexy put one leg up and the table and yelled at the women to partner up. "Pair off and start rubbing each other down. Welcome to gay camp girls."
"I get it now," Lynette said as Sergeant Sexy pulled her on to Bree's lap.
"You need to be told twice, ma'am?" He pointed at Bree, "touch her!"
Lynette and Bree automatically reacted and began touching each other, albeit chastely. Sergeant Sexy had Cynthia on his lap, and the other girls were really getting in to it.
"We're going to learn how to give nice lap dances, ladies. You need to tease, and seduce your subject," Sergeant Sexy said between nibbles on Cynthia's ear.
"Um..how would you like me to tease and seduce you?" Bree asked trying to be polite. Lynette repositioned herself so that she was full on straddling Bree.
"Actually, I'm on your lap, so I guess I'll be doing the teasing and seducing first."
"Ohh," Bree purred, as Lynette began lightly blowing on her neck. She trailed her fingers lightly around Bree's face and looked into her eyes. Bree's head began to swim, she told herself it was just the alcohol, but them Lynette moved her hands across Bree's chest, dragging her fingernails against the taut satin, and Bree felt her nipples harden. Her breath caught in her throat, and she put her hands on Lynette's hips for support. Lynette leaned closer and kissed Bree sweetly and immodestly. Bree sat up straighter and pulled Lynette's body closer to her own. They began to kiss again, and they could have stayed right there all night, except Sergeant Sexy was yelling at them to slowly bring them back to reality. Lynette pulled back from Bree, her skin was flushed and they were both breathing hard.
Lynette slowly rose from Bree's lap, as doubt flooded her mind. She panicked, what was she thinking? A bit of sobriety was returning. She wanted this too much- she wanted Bree. Her biggest fear was that Bree was just going along with this because she felt pressured to, and she really wasn't enjoying it as much as Lynette was. How were they going to go back to their lives and families after this tawdry experience? Lynette didn't have much time to think because Bree had already sat her down and was settling onto her lap.
"Bree, are you…"
"Shut up, Love, it's my turn now," Bree didn't waste any time, she began grinding on Lynette almost immediately. She reached her hands around herself to get her bra off, and then she threw it. She pulled Lynette's top down and exposed her breasts. Lynette tossed her head back in ecstasy as Bree stroked her breasts. Bree grabbed the back of Lynette's head and pulled her up into a passionate kiss. All fear and questions left Lynette's mind, as Bree kissed her way down her neck.
When everyone else was done conducting their own lap dances, they simply stared at Bree and Lynette, who were half naked and grinding on each other. Cynthia could not believe her eyes. Even Sergeant Sexy was just staring at them. Finally, Bree noticed that everyone was looking and she grew extremely self-conscious. Scrambling to get off of Lynette, as if she could hide somewhere, she tipped the chair backwards. Lynette and the chair went tumbling down.
"Oh, my God. I'm sorry Lynette. I…are you okay?" Bree bent down and asked her.
"Yeah…Ow." Lynette looked extremely confused.
"Bree, you had better take her home to bed," Cynthia winked, and Bree blushed and agreed. "It's been fun, we'll see you at the wedding tomorrow."
Bree helped Lynette up, and told her to say good night.
"Good night," Lynette squeaked, still blissfully drunk on Bree's kisses.
Lynette leaned on Bree and they left the strip club without speaking. When they got out into the fresh night air, the magic spell between them evaporated.
"Oh, my God. Lynette, I am so sorry. I feel dirty, I feel really, really bad," Bree freaked out.
"Don't apologize, you're amazing. Please don't tell me that you weren't enjoying yourself with me, please don't say that," Lynette sensed things getting tremendously awkward.
"We can't just be… fooling around… like that," Bree stammered. "I've never ever, ever…"
"Okay, Bree, you're making me feel…" Lynette looked down, "Sweetie, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, no one will know. This whole weekend will just be our little one time thing," it pained Lynette to know that she wouldn't be reliving that event ever again.
"But…I don't want this to be a one time thing. It felt…too good," Bree whispered.
The women suddenly realized they were miles away from their hotel and were getting quite a few looks in their matching outfits from strange passerby. They waved down a taxi and got inside.
"So you want to keep going and see where it takes us?" Lynette asked, the close proximity in the cab raising the intensity between them. Bree put her arms around Lynette and held her close, as her hands roamed over her body.
They made it back to the hotel and raced inside, making out in the elevator and fumbling with the room key. Lynette and Bree both fell back on to the bed laughing and trying to maintain as much contact as possible.
"I can't believe we're about to do, what I think we're about to do," Lynette moaned.
"Shut up," Bree rolled Lynette over.
"Wow, I've never seen this side of you before," Lynette wasn't about to let Bree top her, she rolled Bree over, and pinned her arms over her head. Bree assuaged. She lay there looking into Lynette's dark eyes, while she pulled her nighty off, and her fishnets. Lynette descended on Bree's body playfully biting and licking her. Bree moaned in delight as Lynette stroked her where she most wanted to be touched.
"Oh, God, that feels so…"
Lynette could feel Bree's orgasm building, and she dipped two fingers inside her. Almost immediately, she felt Bree's inner muscles contract around her fingers. Bree screamed in pleasure.
"You are absolutely enchanting," Lynette said to her as her body calmed. Bree sighed in satisfaction and Lynette nuzzled close to her, and kissed her deeply. Bree sat up and Lynette sat in front of her. Bree reached her hand down Lynette's body and rubbed her swollen center until Lynette's back arched and she moaned deliriously, finally resting her head on Bree's shoulder. Bree pulled the blanket up around them.
Lynette was suddenly exhausted and she felt so safe cuddling with Bree. "So we did some unspeakable things in this bed. Do you still feel dirty?"
"Never with you. You make me feel clean," Bree said into Lynette's hair.
"You're gleaming," Lynette said as they transitioned into sleep.
The next morning Bree and Lynette took their time. The wedding wasn't until 3 p.m. and they needed up until then to recover from the night before.
When they finally got up to go to the wedding, Bree became very upset, "I'll never have time to put up all of these streamers! How am I going to decorate?"
"I'm sure it will be fine," Lynette tried to reassure her.
When they got to the chapel, the entire wedding party looked at them oddly. Bree and Lynette just smiled, and watched Cynthia and Quentin take their vows in front of a priest/Elvis.
A tear slipped down Bree's cheek, "Weddings are so romantic!"
After the wedding, Bree said goodbye to the bridesmaids. Then she wished Cynthia well on her marriage and honeymoon. "Come visit anytime you guys," Bree said.
"Oh, thanks Mrs. V, that would be stellar," Quentin said as he and Cynthia hopped into their 'just married' car.
Bree and Lynette headed home. "Hopefully, a few of the things we did in Vegas won't stay here," Lynette chided.
"We'll have to be very discreet," Bree said seriously.
" Oh, by the way I packed our nighties."