by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or it's characters.



Hikari Horaki was always the first to admit that she didn't understand how the whole world worked. But even she understood what it meant when a person was four hours late.

I've been stood up. She thought sadly as she started walking away from the restaurant. What had she been thinking? She had finally gotten the courage to ask her fellow co-worker Gai Yamada, whom she had had a crush on for several months, out on a date. And here she was, dressed up in a black cocktail dress, her hair and make-up lightly done, and stood up.

She began walking back to her apartment and figured she was halfway home. She was depressed as she could get. She didn't understand it. Granted, she wasn't a supermodel quality like her friend Asuka, who had gone back to Germany a number of years ago and actually got into the modeling game, but she didn't think she was repulsive.

She didn't wear her hair in ponytails like she did in school. Her freckles had cleared up. Her bust had filled out. She had curves in all the right places as far as she knew. Her bodyfat was low enough she wasn't considered hefty, yet high enough she wasn't a walking skeleton. She had no blemishes, scars, warts or unsightly birthmarks on any part of her skin. So, what was it? Why had she been stood up?

What else could go wrong tonight? She wondered.


Of course. She said as the rain drops fell onto her face. She was glad for that at least. Now, no one would be able to see her tears as she let cry.


Shinji Ikari had never liked piloting the Evangelion. It was something he had been forced into, by his bastard father. When he had learned that Ritsuko had shot him dead in the bowels of Terminal Dogma where the Angel, Lilith, was being kept, he was actually glad.

For many reasons, the most prominent being he was no longer required to pilot the Eva.

After the UN hearings, Shinji was given a generous pension to live off of for the rest of his life, as he was considered a hero for fighting to save all of mankind, despite what his 'father' had originally intended for him. Since then he had gotten himself a nice apartment and a part-time job, mostly to occupy his time while he finished school. He had been out of college a year now and had done very little. Misato still lived in the city and they kept in touch every week or so.

Asuka was another matter. Without a purpose, and despite the friends she had made here in Tokyo-3 she missed her homeland and eventually went back. Last he had heard she was working in the movie business and doing modeling on the side. She never called him, directly anyway.

As long as she was happy, that was all that mattered to him.

Toji and Kensuke had moved away for different reasons, as did most of the people in NERV after everything had been cleared up. Ritsuko had retired and no one had really heard from her since that day. He suspected Misato knew where she was, but it wasn't his place to ask that.

Shinji had just picked up some groceries and was heading back to his apartment when it started to rain. Fortunately he had bought an umbrella at the store. He was walking home, noticing the many people scurrying around trying to avoid getting drenched. It was easy then to notice the lone female figure slowly walking through the downpour, without an umbrella.

And she looked familiar.


She sniffled, and absently wiped her face clean of tears and rain. "Huh? Shinji?" she whispered as she took in the face of the former pilot of Unit 01.

He paused for a long moment. "Are you...alright?"

"Uh...yeah...I'm fine." she said with a sad smile.

"Are you sure?" he asked, noticing the redness in her eyes. She's been crying.

She didn't respond, unsure where he was going with this.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you're standing in the rain, in a pretty dress, without an umbrella."

"Oh. I...forgot." her face suddenly got hard. "Why do you care?"

Something bad has happened. Shinji thought. "Well it just seems...unhealthy." he managed to get out as he walked up to her and held his umbrella over her, blocking the rain.

"Thank you." she said weakly, her anger fading.

"You're welcome." he said, just standing there with her in the rain.

They stood there in silence for several minutes, the rain continuing to pour down. It was then that Shinji spoke.

"Uh, look, we should probably get indoors until the storm passes. Why don't I walk you home? Where do you live?"

"Over on Takata Street."

That's six blocks! " place is on the next street. You could crash there if you like, dry your clothes and everything till the storm passes."

Hikari looked up at Shinji and gave him a lit smile. It had been seven years since the Angel Wars had ended. And in all the time that had passed since then, Shinji still remained the same kind and considerate young man he had been in school when she first met him. There was nothing to indicate any ulterior motive, neither in his speech, his smile, or the concerned look in his eyes.

He hasn't changed one bit. She thought as she looked at him. " wouldn't mind?"

Shinji gave her a small smiled. "No. I just...well, you look like you could use a friend right now. I'll make you some tea, or something. How 'bout it?"

She could have refused. Could have said no and just gone home through the pouring rain. Instead, since she had nothing to lose, she said, "Alright."


Hikari found herself sitting on a comfortable couch in a fairly nice apartment, dressed in a bathrobe while her dress and underwear was being washed and dried. She picked up her tea and sipped it.

It was a little bitter, but warm. Shinji had offered her something to eat as well, but she had declined, not wanting to inconvenience him anymore.

"Your tea alright?" Shinji asked as he came back into the livingroom.

"It's fine, Shinji." she said, shifting in her robe, unintentionally giving the ex-pilot a flash of her cleavage.

He blushed as he turned away. Hikari didn't notice.

"So...what have you been doing lately?" Shinji asked, trying to start the conversation.

The pair spent a half hour just talking about this and that, and somehow got onto the subject that had been foremost on Hikari's mind.

Hikari looked away, trying not to laugh at herself for how pathetic she was. "I just can't...I mean it wasn't supposed to...what did I do wrong?"

Shinji, out of concern, had moved from the chair across from the couch and sat himself next to the young woman.

"It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong." Shinji said to her. "It just sounds to me like...he was the one who should be blamed, not you."

Hikari knew he was trying to be comforting, but that did little to ease her mind. "No. I just wasn't good enough. That has to be the reason. It has to be. But why? I want to know why I wasn't good enough." she said, breaking down into tears. "God, I wish I was someone else, someone that people liked and wanted to date." she said, turning to Shinji and nearly shouting. "Do you know I've never been on date? No one ever asked me in high school, not even college!"

Shinji said nothing, just staring at Hikari in shock. He didn't think it was possible, that she hadn't been on a single date since the Angel Wars. Had he been a scientist like Ritsuko he would have used the scientific method to help her. But obviously what she required was something that he couldn't really place. Something that he hadn't a concept of. Hikari had been stood up by a guy she liked, and with her admittance that she hadn't dated since Junior High (actually he wondered if she had dated even then) he was no doubt sure that she felt depressed, dejected and alone in the world.

Asuka had been her best friend when she came to Japan, but the German redhead was gone. Who else was left? He didn't know what her circle of friends were like, or if she even had one. He figured she was pretty popular, so she must have had friends other than Asuka. And she was quite attractive, a fact he kept noticing as he tried not to stare at her ample bosom and shapely legs as the robe started to loosen on her body, inadvertently revealing her assets to him. So to that end, Shinji did the only thing he could think of. He slid up next to Hikari and slowly put his arms around her, telling himself it was to avoid looking at her body.

Hikari wiped another tear away as Shinji held her gently. The action had caught her off guard at first, but she soon found herself welcoming the comfort he gave. She knew he wasn't the type to take advantage of a girl in her situation. She may not have known him as well as Asuka and the others, but she knew he wasn't that kind of guy. (A fact Asuka constantly denied, calling him a pervert whenever she spoke about him) Maybe that's what hurt the most.

Having lived in Asuka's shadow right from the girls arrival, Hikari had a few femininity issues. Asuka's bright red hair and dazzling perfect smile, coupled with her Eva training had given her a gorgeous figure. She recalled the numerous times guys had asked her to get them a date with Asuka. Her personality was enough to get peoples attention, and even interest. And then there was Rei Ayanami, the most exotic looking girl in all of Japan. With her blue hair, pale skin and red eyes, she was sure Rei would have had lots of dates, if not for her demure personality. And having seen Rei in a swimsuit during PE, Hikari knew that the albino girl wasn't lacking anything.

And Misato...well compared to her no guy would even look once at her, but that was completely different!

Her thoughts drifted back to the young man who was holding her, rubbing her back gently to sooth her raging emotions.

Must have had a lot of experience, living with Asuka and Misato. She mused, actually feeling better.

She rested her head on his shoulder, softly crying. "And the crazy thing is, I asked him! I actually asked him out!"

Shinji knew better than to add anything. That he had learned from Asuka, and so he kept his peace as he let Hikari keep rambling. All the while praying she didn't notice his growing arousal.

"God, I'm so pathetic! I can't even get a guy to notice me and ask ME out. No! I have to ask him out on a date." she said as she continued to cry.

You're pathetic? I'm the one practically ogling you. Shinji absently looked to the window and noticed that the rain was still falling, and falling hard. With Hikari in the state she was, there would be no getting her home tonight. He sighed as he continued to rub her back and whisper soft assurances that everything would be alright.

"But how do you know, Shinji?" Hikari asked. "How do you know it'll be alright?"

"Because, things couldn't be worse. That's how I try to live my life now. With a little hope for a better tomorrow."

And in truth that was what he had tried to do. His experiences with EVA had taught him a lot about life, and this and that. Pain was something to be expected, but that you couldn't run away from it. You had to face it. Because sometimes, you had nowhere to go but up.

The timer beeped from the back room, and Shinji reluctantly released Hikari to go and get her clothes from the dryer. As he left, Hikari looked at Shinji's departing form. Something clicked in her mind as she noticed something she hadn't before. Something different. Something...attractive.

He's got a cute tush! She thought with a sudden strong blush. Where had that thought come from? To be honest with herself, she had always thought Shinji was cute, but with so many other beautiful girls in his life, she hadn't been bothered to facilitate their bonds of friendship. Now she was actually thinking about it. And thinking hard.

Why? Why am I thinking about this now, years! God has it been that long?

But Hikari knew the truth, and the truth was, she was lonely. Not just the lonely where you'd want a guy to hang out and spend time with you. The kind of lonely where you wanted said guy to help warm your bed, maybe even your heart.

Seven years of raging hormones and a lonely heart were a bad combination. Hikari wanted what all women wanted. She wanted to feel desired, lusted after. She wanted a guy to want her for her body. For her beauty. But most saw her as the responsible class rep. Not exactly good dating material.

Like dating a teacher.

Most guys wanted someone to have fun with, not someone who was known for her studious and seriousness.

She remembered a conversation she had had with Asuka some weeks ago. It had to do with Hikari asking her best friend what it took for her to be a model. (Of course it was Asuka's opinion that she was beautiful, and since Asuka was her friend, she figured the compliment was bias)

'Basically, if a guy looks at you like he wants to fuck you, then you know you've got what it takes to be a model.'

That had actually been proven tonight. Walking back to her apartment, before she ran into Shinji, she had walked passed a couple of alleyways, noticing that there were some undesirable figures in the shadows, waiting to pounce.

That had left her with a disappointment as well. She wasn't even good enough to rape!

(Not that she wanted to be raped, but in her mind, most rapists were sexual deviants who raped the unsuspecting, and many times, they were attractive women. They did so because they were either desperate or drunk and had given in to their libido's)

That was when Shinji had arrived. Not that she was complaining really. He was a friend when she needed one the most, and as dejected as she was, she welcomed his kindness. But now as she sat in his apartment, in his robe, drinking his tea and had even been comforted by him. Her face flushed as she remembered how warm and soothing his embrace had been. And if that wasn't enough, she had noticed the looks he had given her.

He thought I hadn't noticed. Being the former class rep I have a pretty good eye for observation. He was checking me out. She thought with a blush, suddenly realizing her robe was open a little, as well as having fallen around her legs. She covered up on instinct, but felt odd at that. He had wanted to avoid being a glaring pervert, but she actually found it sweet.

And even welcomed.

She had never considered Shinji anything more than a cute boy with a tremendous responsibility. Now, she was seeing the young man in a whole new light.

Shinji arrived with her clothes in hand. She accepted them and rose off the couch to go into the bathroom to change. A couple minutes later, Hikari emerged from the bathroom and said she had to be going, not wanting to be a burden on her friend longer than she needed to be.

"You...don't have to go if you don't want to." Shinji said as he walked her to the door.

"Thanks. But I'm feeling better now, Shinji. And I've taken advantage of your hospitality enough." she smiled. Though I wouldn't mind you taking advantage of me.

They looked at each other for a moment as the open door beckoned her to step through. She then leaned up and kissed his cheek, actually landing at the edge of his mouth. The kiss, however, lasted longer than she expected it to. When she pulled away, she felt a chill go through her spine. She didn't understand what it was at first, until she turned to go, only to be stopped by Shinji's hand on his arm. She was shocked at first, even more so when he pulled her back to him and felt his lips press against hers. She felt his arms snake around her body, pulling her tighter against his frame. As he did, she felt his body beneath his shirt, her hands having landed on his chest.

His muscles are firm, not huge, but nice. He must work out, or all that robot piloting did him a lot of good. She thought as she melted into his kiss.

Shinji pulled back, his mind half-filled with fear as he suddenly realized what he had done. He had kissed Hikari Horaki, the amazingly attractive young woman who had once been the Junior High class rep. His arms were still around her body, right hand pushing on the crook between her head and shoulder, his left at the small of her back he figured. His hand ran over her skin, feeling the softness and smoothness of said skin. He could smell her scent, letting it fill his nostrils. It gave him a warm feeling, also making him relax a little.

God, he wanted that warmth.

Hikari just stood there in Shinji's arms, ignoring his touch as her eyes were frozen in his. In them she saw exactly what she hoped to see.

The lust. The desire.

If she didn't know better, she would have sworn that he wanted her.

Their breathing was deep and ragged after the kiss, their eyes never blinking. It was then that Shinji managed to speak.

"Hikari..." he said in almost a whisper. "I don't know what to say. I...I just felt this overwhelming desire to...kiss you." he swallowed hard.

Desire. Her heart lifted as he said that word.

Shinji realized that after seven years of being alone, combined with the ten years of being abandoned, his hormones that he had ignored for far too long, were starting to take control of his conscious mind. He was noticing how incredibly beautiful Hikari had become. She had always been attractive to him, but his own feelings of worthlessness had caused him not to take an interest in the opposite sex. He realized, with some obvious guilt, that he wanted her. Right now, to crush all the loneliness that he felt, and make him feel alive. It was a selfish thing to want, not to be alone.

Wasn't it?

"Hikari." he murmured.

"Yes...Shinji?" she whispered back, her own mouth becoming dry as it stood gapped open.

"I...I want"

The last straw collapsed as the young woman met the ex-pilots lips in a ferocious kiss that threatened to devour each other. Hikari found herself thrust against the door, closing it as Shinji pressed himself against her. Any form of subtlety was lost as Shinji invaded her mouth, grappling with her tongue. With almost animal savagery their hands tore the clothes from their bodies, remarkably they didn't scratch or tear their skin.

Something in Hikari's mind found it ironic that she was suddenly out of her clothes as she had just put them on minutes ago.

Shinji took in Hikari's nakedness in an instant. Her round and shapely high C-cup breasts that jutted out, now hard with arousal. Her trim waist and washboard stomach. Her curved hips that seemed to roll with each step she could take. Her long legs, smooth, unblemished and hairless. He caught her eyes, which emulated his own wanton desire.

Shinji pulled Hikari to his body, the flesh-against-flesh causing their bodies to heat. Their mouths met briefly in a kiss as she pulled away, gasping not only for air but in disbelief at what their eyes were telling them of the person before them. Her legs wrapped around his waist tightly, bringing him into her in one swift and deft move, as if had been perfectly planned by a mathematician.

For some reason her mind was screaming at her, begging her to stop this, but Hikari couldn't. She didn't care anymore. The only thing she cared about at all, was right now, with him. His mouth on hers, his skin against hers, him inside of her. Their grief, sadness and loneliness had turned to ecstasy and everything didn't matter anymore because she wanted him more than she could ever say.

They were one now, seemingly more in body and soul as they moved together as if they had been lovers for years. Long into the night they made love with a fire and ferociousness that no one would have ever expected from them. And in between the grunting and the gasping, the bucking and the thrusting, and the multiple orgasms, Hikari's hearing picked up the many words that Shinji spoke to her.

"You're so beautiful, Hikari-chan!" he said as he took her from behind. "I never realized you were so sexy!" he reached around and massaged her ample breasts, causing her to shudder at his touch. "That guy who stood you up was a fool."

Her heart lifted to new heights that night, all from his kind and as far as she knew, honest words.

Shinji spun Hikari around to face him as he entered her again, kissing her with tongue and lips that met her own. Both of which she accepted without hesitation. Their cries and moans intermingled as eventually he came hard into her, the young woman coming as well in perfect tune with him. There was no possibility of her getting pregnant, as she had taken a pill before her date. She had simply forgotten it after she had been stood up. The prolonged orgasm reverberated through their bodies, eventually resulting in the pair collapsing onto the bed.

Somehow they had made it to the bedroom in the back of the apartment, how or when they didn't seem to care about. Hikari's head fell to the side and she noticed the time. Her eyes widened as best they could, considering the strain her body had been under.

She had been ready to leave at around 12:30, and it was currently 3:47 in the morning.

Damn, Shinji. Who know you were a super-stud. Or where you as repressed as I? She thought as she lay on the soft bed, the young man's arms wrapped tightly around her. And you still try to offer me comfort. Thank you, Shinji-kun. For everything. You were a friend when I needed one the most, and a lover like I never imagined. God, I don't know of any woman who gets to have her first time be such a...explosive experience. But you gave me what I wanted. You desired me. Wanted me. Me of all people. You called me beautiful, said I was sexy. I can never thank you for giving me that.

Her smile faded as a more serious thought entered her mind without her consent.

But what's going to happen now? Will we continue to be friends, or become lovers? Personally...I need both. I want both. Shinji Ikari...I wish you could hear my thoughts and give me the answer I so desperately want to hear.

However, what Hikari didn't realize, is that Shinji's thoughts were traveling parallel to her own.

Hikari Horaki, how you've changed. You've become such a vibrant, beautiful and exciting woman. My first. I don't know of any man who gets to share his first time with such a woman, even TV and films rarely show that happening. I honestly didn't expect this to happen, though...I wanted it. And I wanted you, wanted to hold you, kiss you, love you with all the strength I could muster. Anything to take away your pain and suffering. I hope I didn't hurt you. I hope I still won't hurt you.

Shinji sighed as he organized his thoughts again.

I've never felt such powerful emotions for anyone before. Something so overwhelming they take control of my brain and I end up doing that which would ultimately make me fall back into the shell of the shy boy everyone knew so well. But where do we go from here? I do like you Hikari, but after this, will we still be friends? We never even had enough time to be friends before we jumped into this! I don't know what's going to happen, but I promise you Hikari...

"Hikari." he spoke.

"Yes, Shinji?" she whispered softly, acknowledging him.

"I..." he started to say as he hugged her closer. "I just wanted to...even if this turns out to be only a one-time thing...I just wanted thank you." he sighed. "And to tell you...whatever happens, I'll be here for you. Friend or more, I'll be here."

Hikari let his words sink in as she nestled down into his embrace. Hugging him tighter to let him know she understood and accepted that.

Sleep claimed them both, neither leaving the others arms until it left.


Author's Notes:

First of all, in case some of you are wondering, Shinji being given a pension and having a part-time job may sound strange, but this is my story so I can fudge reality a little.

Secondly, just in case you haven't figured it out yet, this story takes place in 2022. Shinji and Hikari are both 22 years of age, so it's all legal people. Also, in case you also haven't figured it out, and it would be hard not to, they are each others first. Not a hard thing to believe that these two individuals haven't had sex since before now.

Thirdly, this is my first Lemon story, so please feel free to review so that I have some idea what you might want from any future lemons I 'might' write. And I am in the process of writing a second chapter for this story, but don't hold your breath.

Lastly, Hikari was always played up as the 'straight girl', the voice of reason amongst the teenagers. Therefore, her wanting to be desired would probably hit her harder than most, having been quite the responsible type when she was younger. I also noticed in the series she didn't date, and Toji seemed rather oblivious to her affections. So I wanted to make her a 'babe', using as a physical reference some of the sexiest women anime had to offer. This includes Misato.

Please Read and Review...and MERRY CHRISTMAS!