My first one shot! I know, I should be working on my other stories (I'm almost done with the next chapter of TTRRH) but I just had to write this fic. It's about the first Christmas Chris spends in the past. Takes place about a month after Chris Crossed, and is a revelation fic. Please review!


It was freezing cold up on the bridge. Middle of the night, wind howling around him, whipping his dark hair in his face, but he didn't care. Didn't care that he couldn't feel his legs anymore, or that there where small, wet trails running down his cheeks, threatening to turn to ice at any moment. He couldn't care less that he was barely even shivering anymore.

Didn't care that it was Christmas Eve.

Hadn't cared for year, come to think of it...

His family cared, though. They cared a lot, just...not about him. About the holiday. And family. Just...not him...

Piper...Mom...had started decorating the manor right after Thanksgiving (which he spent alone on the bridge as well). She loved Christmas, always had. There was tinsel wrapped around the banister of the grand staircase in the front hall, and mistletoe hanging at every doorway. Candles where lit every night, filling the rooms with scents of peppermint, gingerbread, and cinnamon. Leo had hung lights all around the manor walls, which twinkled silver in the dark of night, illuminating the San Francisco December chill.

And taking center stage in the living room was a huge, real pine tree. Colored, sparkling ornaments adorned every bough; shiny bobbles and balls, gold and silver snowflakes, turning lazily on thier strings. Ornaments passed down from Grams and Mom, and even farther bask. And there was always an angel on the top of the tree. A raven-haired angel, with pearly white wings and a shimmering gold halo...

And underneath the tree, crowding the floor, was a huge pile of gifts, wrapped in red and green, with bows and ribbons and string, which had started to assemble itself some weeks before the twenty-fifth...

Eight, ten, twenty years ago, a large portion of that pile would have the name "Chris" written on a tiny card, taped to the front of the box. He and Wyatt would race down the staircase the moment they woke up on Christmas morning, impatient to see what Santa (and Mommy, and Aunty Paige and Phoebe!) And left for them during the night. And it wouldn't matter how early it was, or how cold the wind howled outside, Mom would always be sitting on the couch, waiting for them. Thier aunts (and later, cousins) would plod down the stairs soon after, with wshes of Merry Christmas.

He smiled slightely to himself, remembering how he and his brother would tear the paper off the packages, each calling out guesses (often wildly wrong) as to what the box held, then fighting over who had the most, the best, the biggest...

Afterwards, Mommy would take them into the kitchen, where they'd have hot chocolate and ginger snaps for breakfast. It as always such a treat; cookies at seven in the morning! What a concept! Piper would always tell them, "No more!" But she'd always sneak them just one extra...

And sometimes, Daddy would be there! Chris could remember exactly three Christmases with Leo, though Wyatt could recall four. And each time, he'd bring them a gift unlike any they'd get from Wal Mart of or a toy store. He'd bring his sons a jar of fairy lights, that would flutter around in the dark for three days before disappearing back to wherever it was the came from. He once brought them a halo each (which Paige found extremely funny) made out of pure magic. Though looking back, Chris not-so-fondly remembered how Wyatts would always fall to the floor with a clatter, and roll away when he chased after it. Pure, GOOD magic.

The night before, though, was always the most fun! They'd watch "A Christmas Story" on video, and would laugh good and loud, even though they'd seen it a hundred times before. After, they would sit out on the balcony, no matter how cold, and sing. None of them could really sing well, but when the song of choice was Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer, it really didn't matter. On Christmas Eve, Piper would get her children fed, bathed, and they'd all crawl into her bed. With one child on each side, she would read her sons two stories; Twas the night before Christmas, with lots of funny illustrations, and the story of the first Christmas. Every year, no mater how old he was, he'd snuggle next to his mother, close, he could see the picures, and would listen to her soft voice, cool and quiet in the night...

But there weren't any gifts for Chris under the tree this year. Piper wouldn't make him hot chocolate, they wouldn't sing Christmas carols or read stories...

No, scratch that, THEY would sing, and eat Christmas dinner, and open presents early that morning. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Leo, Grandpa and Wyatt... The whole Halliwell family...

Just without Chris.


It was so cold now, Chris would touch his face, and not even feel it. It hardly ever snowed in San Fran, but Chris wouldn't be surprised at all if flurries started to fall right on him. It was eleven ten. Almost Christmas... Wyatt would be in bed by now, though the girls and Leo would all be up, waiting to welcome the holiday with spice cake and egg nog.

After a moments hesitation, Chris orbed out in a flash of rather festive-looking white lights...


Chris Halliwell hadn't known that one could actually feel thier heart breaking, but he could. What he saw tore him up inside like glass. He stood silently outside the large bay window of the Halliwell manor, peering into the living room. There was his mother and father, sitting next to each other on the couch. Though split up now, they where both on good terms for Christmas, for Wyatt. Paige and Phoebe where working their way through a box of chocolates. Paige bought herself a box every year. When he was little, she's carefully search out the raspberry (Chris's favorite) and give her nephew the cream-filled candy, though he knew they where her favorite too...

Candles where lit all over the room. Peppermint, Gingerbread, cinnamon... and the lights on the tree where shining and shimmering, the sound of his Mothers laughter echoeing so faintly around him. There, as he knew, there would be, was a huge pile of presents under the tree. Boxes, bags, lumpy little shapes of tissue paper. Lots for Wyatt, and Leo and the girls., but not a one bore Chris's name... was so inviting, looked so warm...Chris was tempted to knock on the front door, spill his secret, and beg to be let in, to be accepted, at least for Christmas...

The window ledge was high up frm the garden he stood in, so he had to stand n toe to see in. He grasped the edges off the sill, peering over the edge, like a little boy trying to reach the top shelf in his moms closet, where he and his brother KNEW she hid Christmas presents...

It felt odd, spying on his own family, not being aloud to enter the house he was raised in, not being aloud to be with his parents for Christmas. He was no more than ten feet away from Piper, though he felt as though he was in an entirely different world.

The radio was on, with Christmas carols playing loudly on the speakers. Paige, after a while, reached over and turned up the volume, her favorite song having come on. She started singing to herself, her voice carrying above the music to Chris's ears, soon joined with his mothers, and Leo's and Phoebe's...and the sounds of his brother crying.

Piper dashed upstairs, and came down a minute later with a fussy Wyatt held in her arms. He wasn't happy, being woken up at this hour! Piper shushed him and rocked him, holding him close to her, and singing softly...just to him...

Chris's suddenly felt a knot of jealousy in his chest he had never felt before...not when Leo used to spend more time with Wyatt, not when Wyatt was stronger, older, more powerful..he'd been envious, but never...never jealous...

But looking in at the scene before him, he felt nothing but pure, unbridled jealousy towards Wyatt. The way Mom held him, rocked him, sang to him and cooed, tried everything she could to make him happy...the way Leo beamed so proudly at him, as though he could never love anything as much as he loved hm, how Paige and Phoebe each clamored, waiting their turn to hold him.

They loved Wyatt now, not Chris...

...never Chris.

Tears filling his eyes, blurring his vision, Chris turned his back on the manor, and orbed back to his sanctuary.


"Come ON, Piper! Wake up!" exclaimed Paige, as she and Phoebe attempted to haul thier oldest sister out of bed. "Wyatt wants to open presents!"

"Wyatt my ass!" Piper mumbled, with a smile on her face. "It's you two who wanna open presents!"

With Paige leading the way, they dragged-raced-pulled-pushed each other down the stairs, where Wyatt was in his play pen, awaiting (and laughing at) his families arrival (Leo wasn't able to make it for Christmas day).

"Oh, Merry Christmas little guy!" Piper beamed, picking the toddler up from the pen."You wanna open up some presents?"

Wyatt, who couldn't talk yet, just gurgled happily.

"Ok, Paige? This one's yours!" Phoebe called out, handing her baby sister a shiny green bag. Piper planted herself on the floor along with her sisters, Wyatt on her lap.

"Look sweetie!" she said excitedly, pulling a gold-wrapped box from the pile; Leo's gift to him. "Looky what Daddy brought you!"

Wyatt, liking how the package sparkled so, squealed, and reached forward, his tiny little fingers attempting to peel back the paper. With a little help from Mommy, he finally got it open. Inside was a set of big toy cars, in bright, fun colors. Wyatt was thrilled.

Slowly, they made their way through the gifts. Piper receive a blouse from Paige, and a Blackberry from Phoebe. She'd given he sisters each a day's pass at the spa, with their own fluffy towels to match.

"Ohhh! Piper, thank you so much! I SO need a spa day!" Paige exclaimed.

And all three had spoiled Wyatt a bit. He got new clothes, story books, and plenty of new toys, which kept him occupied before he was even don with all of them.

"Thank you both SO much," Piper gushed. "And I'm sure Wyatt would thank you too, right little man?"

Wyatt just grinned, bust with his trucks.

"OK, how about I go fix some..." Piper began sitting up, when she stopped, mid sentence. Tucked deep beneath the tree where four more presents...each wrapped in blue paper...

"Paige? Did you buy these?" she asked, reaching far under the tree to wrestle the boxes out.

"No, you opened all the ones I bought. Phoebe?"

Each looked to the middle Charmed One, who shook her head. "Not me!"

Turning one package around, she found the tag: To Paige, From Chris.

"They're...they're from Chris..." she stuttered, her voice a whisper.

"Chris?" shrilled her sisters, each as shocked as she.

"Yeah, there's one for each of us and Wyatt,' she said softly, handing the boxes to her sisters. But each just sat there a moment.

"Um, guys?" Paige spoke up.


"Did, um...did any of you get Chris anything?"

Phoebe cringed. "No, I didn't...Piper?"

"I didn't get him anything either...I never even thought about it!" she admitted, gilt sinking in like a lead wight.

She looked over to Phoebe, wh had torn away the paper, and was opening the box. Inside, she found a pair of sterling silver hoop ear rings.

"Oh my..look at these! They're so pretty!" she exclaimed, admiring them in the sunlight.

Phoebe showed the others a bracelet, with her birth stone placed on the top.

"Oh Chris..." she sighed, as it was now her turn to feel guilty...

Piper gently tugged at the tape of her present, not tearing the paper. The blue wrapping fell to the floor, and she turned the black box around to find the hinges...

Inside, nestled delicately on white cotton, was a necklace, a real, honest-to-god diamond necklace!

"Holy shit!" Phoebe squealed, getting a good look a it. "Hat's real! How the Hell did he get money for that?"

But Piper didn't hear them. Not a word. Instead, she just asked, "Has anyone even seen Chris lately?"

Both shook their heads. "I haven't seen him in days..." Paige admitted, looking down at Wyatt, who now held a large, gray Bunny he'd received from Chris, almost as big as he was.

Piper felt as though she'd just been smacked in the face. Here Chris, whom they've treated like shit (if they weren't simply ignoring him) bought them these beautiful, expensive gifts...and they hadn't even thought about him...

"Do...does anyone even know where he is?"

"No..." came the unanimous response.

Piper groaned, burying her face in her hands. Sure, he was annoying, a workaholic, and so neurotic he'd crack any therapist, but...

But Piper couldn't stand the thought of him being all alone on Christmas. It's not like he had any family here, and THEY hadn't invited him over...God, how could they be so careless!

"Paige, P3, orb!" she commanded, grabbing onto her sisters hand. Phoebe stayed to oversee Wyatt as her sisters headed off to find Chris.


How long does it take to die of exposure? Chris had asked himself at about three that morning. Back when he was still shivering, back when he still hurt... He knew he'd soon get his answer. It was just past seven, with the first rays of daylight peaking over the horizon. He'd been sitting on the damn bridge since midnight, crying, damn it, SOBBING, after seeing his family, enjoying the holiday without giving him a thought. Though he'd been outside for an hour earlier. He knew it would be no work at all to orb back to P3, where it was warm. No family, no friends, no dinner, but it was warm...

Chris didn't want to be warm. If you where cold enough, you didn't feel pain. And sitting out on the bridge for seven hours, he was frozen. He felt nothing; no pain, no jealousy, no anger or resentments...

But he felt one thing:


And he didn't care.

Actually, he was shocked he'd survived this long in below-freezing weather. All he wore was a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a light coat. Most people would have been dead in just a few hours. THAT would have been nice; a quicker death. But he just HAD to be half-Whitelighter, half immortal, giving him a naturally better tolerance to injury. To the elements. And death.

But he could still die.

It would take more to kill him than it would a mortal, but he could still very much die.

And he was. He was dying. Out on this damn bridge, all alone on Christmas morning, he'd die.

And he welcomed it.


"He's not here, Piper." Paige could see that the moment the orbed into the bar. There was no noise, no Chris.

"Then, where would he be?" Piper nearly cried. Where COULD he be? Walking the streets? Huddled alone in some park?

"I don', wait!" Paige suddenly got a brighter look on her face. "The Bridge! Chris goes there all the time!"

"The Golden Gate Bridge? All the way on top?"

"Yeah, he likes to think there and he..."

"Less talk, more orbing!"


'and the three men saw in the sky a bright shining star, and they followed it to a town called Bethlehem. And in Bethlehem, they found a new born baby, sleeping in a manger, under the loving watch of his mother.'

Chris could hear his mother's voice as she read ths story to him so many years ago. He'd felt so safe, so loved, cuddling with his mother on Christmas Eve, her voice lulling him to sleep. Sleep...

'And the angel stood guard over the beautiful baby, protecting him from all the evil that would harm while he slept.'


The first thing that invaded the girls senses was cold, it was SO cold! Paige, who wore only a long tee-shirt, gasped, wrapping her arms around heself. For several seconds, she had forgotten all about their goal.

And then Piper screamed.


Everything was dark now. The sun was rising, but Chris's world had become not but night. His hazy mind thought fondly of seeing his Mother again. The one who raised him, who's held him during the night, took care of him when he was sick...

Who loved him.

His frozen face drew slowly into a small, sheepish smile. That was the best Christmas gift he could imagine. Being with Mom again!

He was on the brink of death, and he knew it. He was beginning to loose consciousness, and it wouldn't take long after that.

He wasn't fighting. He was willing it. No one here cared about him, not at all. They'd left him out in the cold on Christmas, and he hated them for it...

No, he...he didn't hate them. He loved them, more than anything. If he hated them, it wouldn't have hurt so bad when they forgot him. They may be younger, may not love him...

But they where his family, they where all he had...

But soon he'd have his mother back.! He couldn't wait to see her. She's hold him to her like Piper had with Wyatt. He's smooth back his hair, and tell him how much she loved her...

And then someone screamed.


Piper had never screamed so loud in her life. And she had good reason to now. There slumped against the support beam, was Chris.

But. God, she didn't even think he was alive!

His face was pure white, not just pale, but white. His lips and the skin around his eyes where an icy blue, a color human flesh should never be. God, how long was he out here? WHY was he out here!

She was by his side in less than a second, praying that he was still breathing...

He was.

A tiny puff of mist emanating from his blue lips told her so.

"Oh dear God!" Paige whispered, kneeling down by Piper. "Is he...?"

"He's still breathing," Piper choked out, trying to swallow a lump in her throat. "But barely. Come ON Paige! Orb!" she ordered, taking hold of the lifeless figure before her, as they disapeared in a swirl of lights.


"Get Wyatt out of here!" Piper instructed the moment they materialized. Chris was curled up on the couch, looking every bit of a corpse. Paige ran to grab Wyatt before he caught sight of the young man.

"What in the name of god?" Phoebe gasped, rushing into the room, having heard the tone in Pipers voice.

"He was on the bridge" Piper said, trying to take charge, keep her voice even. She pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around Chris. Not enough.

"What? Why in the Hell was he on the bridge? It's freezing outside!"

"Yeah, Phoebe, we KNOW! Now go get that quilt Grams kept in the upstairs closet!" she ordered. Her voice was harsh, but Chris...Chris needed them...


Mom? Chris thought, his thoughts, emotions, feelings, all mish mashed, hazy and confusing. Mom...his mom was here, right here with him! But...he didn't feel dead. Not that he knew what being dead felt like, but he was pretty sure you didn't breathe after you died, and there he was, struggling to bring air into his lungs. And it hurt to try. Each breath cut into his chest, like shards if crystal...

"Hold on, Chris. Please hold on!"

Mom! It was Mom. He could hear her voice, but all he could see was darkness...


"Hold on, Chris. Please hold on!"

Piper Halliwell didn't know if the boy could hear her, but it was worth a try. He hadn't moved a muscle sine they found him, and was barely breathing. They'd moved him up to Pipers bedroom, where he'd be more comfortable. He was nestled under layer after layer of blankets and quilts, but he hadn't stirred...

Paige had filled up three hot water bottles and, wrapping them in towels, placed one at his back, and two by his legs and feet, trying, needing, to get him warm.

Piper had never felt so scared in her life. Or as guilty. If they had so much as remembered Chris yesterday, had invited him to have dinner, to just BE with them on Christmas eve, then he would never have been up on that bridge...

Of course, if she was stuck in a world without her family, without any one to be with, especially on Christmas, she'd probably find a bridge a perfectly suitable place to sit and...and die...

She sat in bed next to him, his head and shoulders resting on her lap. Phoebe was with Wyatt, and Paige was holding his frozen hands in her own, trying, just like Piper, to make him feel warm again.

But he was so cold; frostbitten, hypothermic, and barely hanging on to life...


Chris suddenly groaned softly, as though he was in pain.

"Shh, I think he's waking up!" Paige announced, though she had no need to shush anyone; Piper wasn't saying a word.

"Chris? Chris, come on, wake up!" Piper coaxed he boy, rubbing his cheek vigorously.

"Hmmummm..." he groaned again, though the timing suggested that he could hear her voice.

"Come on sweetie, just open your eyes!" She practically begged him.

After seconds, which felt like hours, Chris, squeezed his eyes shut tight, then slowly opened them, looking up at Piper.

He suddenly offered her a groggy smile, and whispered "Mom" in a scratchy voice.

Piper was shell socked. Was he so out of it still that he'd confuse her with his mother? Oh, Chris...

", Chris, it's not. It's me, Piper," she broke it to him gently, not wanting to jar or shock him. She gently brushed his thick hair out of his eyes, relieved to see a little color coming back to his face.

But Chris didn't seem to hear. He blinked slowly, keeping a sheepish, elated smile on his face.

"Mom," he said again. "Mom I missed you,"

"Chris, Chris, please, I'm..I'm not your mother. I'm sorry," Piper now had tears streaming down her face. She remembered Chris telling her that he never had a chance to know his family...which meant his mother was...Oh God.

"Wyatt missed you too," he continued, closing his eyes drowsily, his words all slurring. "I'm so glad you're back"

Piper was at a loss for all words.

"I was so sad, Mama. You didn't even invite me for Christmas. I was so cold, so cold...Did you open your present?"

Piper could only nod, trying, for the moment, to play along. Chris seemed to be confusing time lines, mixing up Piper, and his mother...

"I picked it out myself, Mom. Did you like it?" he asked her, his voice containing a note of hope, as though praying to please his Mom...

"It was beautiful," Piper told him, tears now streaming down her face, darkening her blouse.

He smiled, proud that he made his Mommy happy. "Everyone still says I look like you, Mama. And that I have Daddy's eyes," his eyes then fluttered open, as though he wanted to prove the fact.

And Pipers heart stopped.


"One big, happy family!"

"In all my life, I've never seen you take the bait the way that witch took it from you"

"In my world, families hardly existed! I never had a chance to know mine!"

"You keep this stuff forever, you know that?"

God, how could she not have seen it? How much he knew about them. Knew EVERYTHING about them...

And his eyes.

He'd looked at her a hundred times, and she'd never seen it...

Just like she'd never seen her own face in his...her smile, her dark hair, her strong jaw, her delicate features...

Good God, can't be...

Chris Perry.



Everything was starting to come clearer to Chris. His mind was less muddled, and after a few moments, he even knew where he was. And he shivered. For so long, he'd felt he felt cold!

But warm arms, quickly surrounded him...Mom. His mom held him close, and she whispered to him...just like she did with Wyatt.

He knew by now that he wasn't dead. And he knew very well who was holding him. Mom. Younger, slimmer, but still, Mom. An she was here, holding him, just as he wanted. He smiled again, and snuggled deep down in her embrace.

And he was warm.


"Oh My God, Piper. He's right." Paige whispered, looking up with eyes as round as coins. "He looks just like you."

Piper looked back down at the young man cradled in her arms. His cheeks where pink now, and his lips where too. His skin didn't feel like ice anymore.


Mom. That one word. It sounded so...true. So right.

"Mom?" Chris asked again, seeking out his mother hen she didn't answer right away.

And she smiled. This was her baby, her little boy...wiping tears away from her face, she answered, "What is it Sweetie?"

"I love you Mommy," he whispered, nearly asleep again. He now had a hold of Pipers hand, and se squeezed it softly. It was warm in her own...

"I love you too"


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