Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
Okay, I'm going to be honest with you all…I have no idea how I came up with this. But it makes me laugh. Sorry, for not updating in like, a year. Who knew high school was this friggen hard. ENJOY!
One-Shot #4- Swear to Gosh
Every teenager develops some sort of slang. They find some way to express what their feeling through a stream of words that can get all their anger out in a few syllables. Yes, I'm talking about swear words. Not the most intellectual words, but they somehow bring about a calm that helps you to overcome your frustration. Every teenager (or most, to be fair) uses them, whether intentionally or not. Some grow out of the phase, and revert to "Holy Guacamole!" or "Son of a Female Dog!". Some, however, do not. The Teen Titans are teenagers, and like any others, they need to vent frustration.
Robin sat in the main room, very frustrated, and attempting to…sew?
Yes the once-caped hero had torn his beloved black and yellow cape in battle. Now, in all sensibility, maybe wearing a cape wasn't that smart. Now, it had saved him from many dangers (as it was made out of…this really awesome metaly stuff), but all in all it was a way for the enemy to get a hold of him in battle. But, hey, he was workin' the cape look….
Anyway, the torn cape lay on his lap along with Starfire's sewing kit that Cyborg had gotten her for Christmas, along with some thread to mend the rip. So Robin, Boy Wonder, was now trying to take on the role of seamstress.
Dear God, save us all.
He was not alone on his pursuits of sewing. Nay, Beast Boy was trying to mend the soles of his shoe that has ripped in battle with the same villain (The Unraveler). Raven was curled up at the end of the couch reading, and Starfire and Cyborg were playing an intense game of Pillow-Hockey behind them. With pillows strapped the bottoms of their feet, using brooms to hit around a smaller throw pillow.
It is here that the profane word was uttered…
Robin stabbed moodily at the cape with the needle and missed by inches, causing his thumb to bleed as it was struck with the object. He frowned and placed it in his mouth to stop the bleeding, "Fudge," he muttered.
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow and looked up from repairing his shoe, "Why do you do that?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
"Do what?" asked Robin, who resumed stitching.
"You never swear, I don't think I've ever heard you," said Beast Boy, who tossed his shoe over to the side. The shoe in question landed unceremoniously on the resident half-demon who looked at it with an annoyed glance. She shot Beast Boy an irritated look.
"Could you please remove you shoe from my lap, Beast Boy?"
He blinked at her, "No," he turned to face Robin once more, "So why don't ya swear?"
"That was rhetorical," she said gritting her teeth.
Robin shrugged, "Never felt the need."
Beast Boy threw his arms in the air, "Everybody needs to swear Rob!"
"Beast Boy are you listening to me?!" shouted Raven.
Beast Boy sighed, "Not really!"
"I asked if you would please remove your shoe from my lap!" she repeated angrily.
He raised an eyebrow and turned to face her, "You don't like it when I touch your lap!"
Raven paused, "True, but I'm not touching your nasty shoe."
He flipped her a rude finger gesture and turned back to Robin. Raven looked appalled from a moment but then glowered in his direction. The shoe began to crackle with black energy.
"It's real easy Rob!" said Beast Boy, "Are you just too chicken?" And to add to the effect he turned into a chicken and clucked around the sofa. He morphed back with an impish grin upon his green face.
Robin shook his head, "Juts because I don't swear, it doesn't make me a wimp…"
He was drowned out by a victory cry from the young alien princess, "VICTORY!" she shouted, twirling around in the air. She landed next to Robin with a light plop, "What are we discussing?"
A groan came from behind the couch, "I let you win," came Cyborg's reply from the floor.
"No, no, no, I slaughtered you," said Star waggling an orange finger in his direction.
Beast Boy clamped gloved hands over his elfish ears, "Please, no talking of slaughtering in front the Beast Boy."
Star grinned, "I am sorry friend. But what is it that you all were speaking about?"
"Rob doesn't swear," said Beast Boy going around the back of the couch to help Cyborg up.
Robin furrowed his…mask, "I do swear Beast Boy, you just don't hear me."
Beast Boy's mouth twitched into a smirk, "Ahhh, I see. You do all your swearing in your room...secretly."
"Your right BB," said Cyborg sitting down between him and Robin, "I don't think I've ever heard Rob swear."
Robin glared, "Fine, if it bothers you all that much I'll swear."
The other titans looked at him expectedly.
Robin took a deep breath, "Darn you Beast Boy, darn you to heck."
"Oh dear," said Raven shaking her head.
"Gee, that one stung Rob," said Beast Boy putting a hand dramatically to his heart, "I'm gonna need some ice for that burn."
"Please," said Starfire curiously, "What is this swearing?"
"Well," said Cyborg, trying to find the words to describe this to the alien girl, "Ya know when you scream out all these Tameranian words that mean err…bad things?"
Starfire blushed timidly, remembering the times when she had gone so far as to call someone a 'klorbag', "Um, yes I do believe I recall such times."
"That's like what we're talking about," said Cyborg awkwardly.
"So these are…bad words?" asked Starfire cocking her head to the side.
"Yeah, I erm…guess so." Talking to Starfire about swearing seemed almost wrong to show her the err…other aspects of the human world.
"And Robin does not say the bad words?" asked Starfire, grasping the conversation.
"Nope," said Beast Boy leaning back on the sofa.
Starfire eyes shown and she lunged at Robin pulling him into a tight hug, "Oh friend Robin! You are most adorable; you are as sweet and innocent as the little children on this planet! Frolicking, sweet children!" gushed Starfire.
Robin's face was an amusing sight. He looked torn between happiness at Star hugging him, and horror at being called a "frolicking, sweet child".
She grinned, "You are so cute!" and with that she pinched his cheek (yes his face, you nasty people).
Robin looked about to cry out in pain with the strength that she pinched him with. He nursed the swelling area, "Err, thanks Star."
"I welcome you," she said smiling and tapped him lightly on the nose.
Robin's blush became the color of his uniform and the others suppressed snickers.
Starfire looked confused, "Robin why is your face taking on the same pigment as your shirt? Have the colors become confused?"
Robin coughed, "No I'm err fine Star."
She beamed, "Friend Raven, might to tell me these words so I may write them down, as to avoid saying them?" she asked sweetly pulling out a pen and paper that was conveniently sitting on the coffee table.
Raven flushed a light pink, "Well I don't know if that's uhh…a good idea…"
Beast Boy took the pen and paper from Starfire, "Sure Star, Rae will write 'em down for ya, wontcha Rae?" he said casually slinging an arm around her shoulders.
Raven glared, "Remove your arm if you still wish to have it attached to your body."
"Can't get your mind off my hot bod, can ya Rae?" he said flexing the other arm.
"Get in line."
Arm still slung around Ravens shoulders, he began to watch her write. She blinked and looked up, "What?" she snapped.
"Wow Rae," said Beast Boy glancing over the list, "You have quite the vocabulary."
"Just because I choose not to degrade myself by using such vulgar language doesn't mean I don't know what it means." she said passing the piece of paper to Starfire.
"I see that," he said raising his eyebrows.
"I, unlike you, know more words than just: dude, sick, wicked, and," she shuddered, "Rae."
"Aw but you know which one's my favorite word, right Rae?" he said wiggling his eyebrows.
She flushed, and was glad her hood was up, "Which one?" she asked with slight curiosity that she hoped wasn't found in her voice.
He smirked, "Well if you don't know by now," he whispered, "I'm not gonna tell ya!" he exclaimed happily and removed his arm, bouncing off the cushions and over the kitchen.
"This is quite a cornucopia of words friend," said Star reading the list.
Suddenly a sound of gushing water was heard. Everyone's heads spun towards the direction of the noise. In the kitchen, Beast Boy was being squirted with water by the faucet on the sink which was surrounded by black energy. They all turned to Raven who was sitting quite innocently, twiddling her thumbs.
"Fuck you Raven!" yelled Beast Boy who was trying to stop the gushing of water.
Star cocked her head to the side, "Robin what does- Never mind!" she exclaimed, holding up a hand to stop the embarrassed hero, "I will look it up!"
She scanned the list, "Beast Boy wishes to- Oh my!" she gasped.
She flew from the couch and stormed to over where Beast Boy was trying to stop the stream of water.
Beast Boy stood soaked and shocked in the middle of the kitchen, his cheek a shade of bright red.
"You are most vulgar friend!" and with that she swept from the room.
Beast Boy looked stunned and then glared at Robin, "Dude this is all your fault!"
Robin smirked, "My fault? What are you talking about?" He smirked, "I'm adorable, remember?" He smirked and followed Starfire out.
Cyborg was on the floor howling with laughter.
Raven walked up to him levitating his shoe with her.
"Can I have my shoe?" he asked trying to snatch it out of the air, but it zoomed away from him, "Raaaee," he drawled.
"Oh no Beast Boy," she said, she was enjoying this, "You didn't tell me the word so you don't get your shoe."
"Fine," he said grumpily, "If I wirte down the word then will you give me my shoe?"
Raven though for a moment, "Perhaps."
He found a piece of paper and a pencil sitting conveniently on the counter (Gee those things are handy), and scribbled down a word, "Trade?" he asked.
She thought for a moment, "Nope."
"Too bad," he said vaulting over the counter, snatching the shoe, and running down the hallway, cackling madly.
Raven glared after him but then found that the piece of paper was sitting on the counter. She looked both ways then slowly plucked up the piece of paper delicately and took off down the hallway.
Yay!!!!!!!!! Veela finally wrote something! Wooot! So tell me what ya liked best peoples!! Please oh please review, it makes me smile!