A/N: Long time no write. Been very very very busy. I swear I am writing Dreams. It's just taking some time...and I mean I deserved to be bashed. I know that. hides I am sorry!
She blinked and turned her face to his.
He smiled softly. "Hm, Kagome?"
As she wrapped her arms around her knees, she kept eye contact with him. "How can you be so direct?"
He openly sighed, then pushed air out through his nostrils in an "hmph" sound as he looked away. It was a passive and gentle feeling, unlike if the sound had come from a certain dog-demon, which she had become used to. It was refreshing to not feel antagonized by a simple noise. She was used to it. She was accustomed to it. She accepted it as his way, and didn't let it affect her normally.
But then again, when you only hear the negative over and over--no matter how much you know it doesn't really mean how it sounds--in the end it's still the negative over and over…
That was one thing—Koga was never negative.
"You're comparing me to that mutt aren't ya?" He turned back to look at her. He wasn't staring her down—his expression was kind, if not with a tinge of nervous energy mixed in. His voice was soft—as it always was with her.
She turned her head away to rest her chin on her knees. She really couldn't look at him like that.
It was their first conversation alone—in fact it was their first serious conversation. She never saw him but between battles, and then it was a rushed encounter where he maintained his distance enough to be civil, yet still able to announce to her friends that he'd be back for her eventually. In his eyes, she was his. Yet, in his eyes she was also her own person.
Did Inuyasha think of her as such? She wondered if the thought had every crossed his mind that she wasn't just there to either hinder him, or be her own character.
I used to be my own person, she thought. I used to be me.
Lately, she now realized, she had felt washed out, grayed into the background. It seemed like she was a spectator or a supporter for the main hot-shot, regardless of how well he meant.
She was tired of being grayed-out.
The voice beside her on the cliff changed, it seemed to break slightly. "Please don't do that."
She sat up straight, and blinking turned back to him.
Those eyes. They were distant, angled away from her, but she could see them. They were after-all, too compelling to ignore. She was just finding this out now. And they were moist.
He bent his leg and rested his elbow on his knee, then lowered his head and closed his eyes. He forced a small, tightened breath out of his chest.
Kagome felt the need to explain herself. "It's just—"
His other hand lifted and waved her off. He didn't cut her off so that he could speak, but so that he didn't have to hear her false politeness.
She looked down to her feet with a slight nod and found herself hiding under her bangs.
He opened his eyes and turned back to her, more with his body than his neck.
He was so true to his feelings—so uncomplicated.
It was so nice.
To take a vacation from…
Especially when he was looking for her.
But she knew it wasn't Inuyasha's fault for loving Kikyo, he couldn't help it. Just as she couldn't help loving him. Just as Koga—
She looked up at him with a certain revelation showing on her face.
He smiled softly, knowing that her answer would not be the response he'd prefer. "I love you."
Suddenly she was crying, but she felt stronger than she had for a while. She felt stronger because it was the first time in a long while she had come to her own conclusion about something. All on her own, without the influence of Inuyasha, who had her wrapped around his little claw.
She felt his arm around her shoulders. It was alright, she was about to put it there herself anyway.
I love Inuyasha. But…
She pressed her nose to his neck.
…sometimes love goes no good…
She clutched onto him as a life support.
…when you cannot touch…
His arms were around her completely and her tears dampening the fur on his shoulder armor.
…and be loved in return.
His voice cut her off. He was being stern—making sure she had time to think before. He respected her enough for that. That too was refreshing.
She looked up at him, a little annoyed. "What?" She snapped slightly.
No no no. She didn't want to hear "are you sure about this" or "do you love me?" She was sick of those sentences. Movies always had the hero saying those things.
He pulled away enough to look at her properly and rather than thumbing her head up to look him in the eye, he lowered his head to bend down to her level.
"I know you don't love me."
She dropped her gaze, but he moved in front of it to block her.
"Kagome, you know?"
She blinked and shook her head. "Know what?"
His brow rose slightly, but his eyes drooped in contrast.
"I'm sorry," she apologized for her tone, which must have hurt him. "Please continue."
He turned his eyes off to the side. "I was going to say it's alright."
She closed hers and scrunched up her features, then opened them, preparing to argue.
"No it's not—"
They were back on hers, moist again, but turned up at the corners as he smile…so gently.
"Kagome it's alright."
She was caught, she couldn't turn away. "Why?"
His voice was so quiet and so soft. She almost felt she could tickle her finger-tips along the breaths of it.
"Love can be made."
Rather than tickling his voice's breath, she felt herself trailing through the fibers in his eyes.
And she became lost in those eyes.