A/N: This is a parody of the Secret Agent Barbie game because the game is so damn stupid I just had to do one. Well, I'm going to make Barbie be a hero to all in this, which means I'm making Barbie OOC, or out of character. This also means that she will be the only one with any damn sense in the story. Beta read by Wolf, who also helped me with some ideas, he and I had much fun with it.
"Barbie, Chamiel has made the invisble suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!" The wheel-chair ridden woman spoke into the phone that would transmit to Barbie.
Barbie rolled her eyes, "No fuckin' duh, Becky. You've only told me this everytime I was to lazy to bend over and crawl and instead send my stupid Spy Puppy. Or any other time I've done something so completely easy that it wasn't even funny."
Becky was shocked, and so replied in such a manner, "What's come over you, Barbie? Why would you say such horrible things? I was warning you that Chamiel has made the invisible suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!"
"Oh my fuckin' god! Shut the hell up you tweaked foot twitched eyed slut who makes love to that fag, Ken." Barbie screamed, throwing the phone down and stomping on it, Of course, the curse of being an Barbie Agent (God damn Becky for using her name for her fuckin' agency) made a new one appear, in which Barbie anwsered, "Hello?"
She then realized she shouldn't have been so stupid.
"Barbie! Chamiel has made the invisble suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!"
Barbie threw the newly appeared phone to the ground and screamed, "Die, biaytch!" while viciously stomping on the innocent little piece of machine.
A new one appeared on her belt, and when it rang, Barbie wasn't stupid enough to pick it up again. Putting on the Chameleon suit she had aquired, the blonde pulled her blonde hair out of the ugly pony tail, "What the hell was I thinking, having it up anyway? Hell, I should cut it really short."
Pulling out a pair of scissors, the 'teen', who was actually in her late sixties, but never aged, so she was eternally 18 or so, cut all of her 'glorious' white blonde hair off to a boy short height. She decided that after she was done with this stupid mission, whatever bullshit you want to call it, she was gonna dress like a man. She could strut around in gay clubs then.
Moving to the red line, in which she was suppose to tumble under, she tumbled under!
As she did so, sparkly thingy mabobs came forth from her feet. As she stood up they continued to sparkle, and Barbie's reaction was this: "What... the... FUCK?"
Pulling out her phone, Barbie talked into the machine, "Becky, what the hell is wrong with you? Why do my feet fuckin' sparkle when I do funky things?"
Becky replied innocently, "Because I cannot walk so I cannot sprout sparkly things from my feet and do funny tricks and so you shall! Oh, yes, Barbie, Chamiel has made the invisble suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!"
Barbie hung up without anwsering. How she wished she could die right now. But of course she couldn't, she would haunt the planet forever. Which really sucked ass, because soon the ozone was gonna, like, blow the fuckin' planet up. Then she'd, like, haunt some random nebula dust or somethin'. It would probably be boring as hell.
Walking through the little red line on the next one, which she had forgotten was there, a beep noise suddenly issued through the halls, which would probably alert every guard on duty that she was there, but, oh magic! It didn't! And suddenly she was back where she started.
"I hate you all, so very, very much." was all that she offered.
Her phone rang again, which she chose to ignore. Redoing that which she had already accomlished and more, she finally arrived at where the guards stood and walking towards the boxes, she thought, "Well, I guess I better kick some ass."
"No, Barbie, you should use your Spy Puppy!"
Barbie looked around. "Where the fuck did that just come from?"
Then the spy puppy appeared before the aggitated blonde, and she sighed, "I hate animals. Especially little blue mechanical fuck things."
The little blue puppy spoke, "I should get paid for this!"
Walking towards the guard, the puppy caught the stupid guard's attention. Barbie laughed aloud, which the deaf guards did not hear, and neither did they see the colorful sparkly suit she worn. Barbie offered her thoughts on this, "They're so stupid! Just like real men!"
Suddenly, GI Joe appeared and said, "I am too sexy for the guards, too sexy for the guards, so sexay!"
Barbie rolled her eyes, "GI Joe, your lover Ken was looking for you yesterday. He wanted to ask you if you liked pink frilly thongs, although it's none of my business." she told the large, muscled fag, forgetting entirely about the guards who stood gropping their own asses.
GI Joe replied, "Oh, really?" in a giddy fashion.
Barbie nodded, "I hate those things. They feel like they're cutting you in half!"
GI Joe retorted with, "Actually, you wouldn't believe it, but frilly under wear have more crotch space than you think!"
Suddenly, GI Joe's lover Ken appeared, screaming in a girly voice as rose petals fell, "I'm a stealth fag!"
Barbie raised her eyebrow, "Say what?"
Suddenly, all of the sudden, in a sudden appearance and just out of, like, all the suddenness, Becky appeared! And so she spoke, "Barbie, Chamiel has made the invisble suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!"
Barbie, GI Joe and Ken all promptly attacked the stooooopid woman.
GI Joe rubbed his large, muscled buttocks in her face. Ken stucked nail polish up her nose and in her eyes and Barbie stabbed her to death with the phone antennea. She twitched as she spoke her final words, "Barbie, Chamiel has made the invisble suit, the Chameleon! We must get it back!"