Disclaimer: I don't own YYH
The office held about it the sense of tense security. It smelled like leather and was dimly lighted by the hidden sun outside the window. Kurama sat quietly in his chair on the other side of the doctor's desk, clutching his school bag close to his chest. He always felt nervous when he came here. He knew it always led to 15 minutes or more of...him controlling his body. The doctor hadn't come in yet and the teenager was just sitting there waiting in a tense silence that was thick enough to slice through. His mother was probably still out in the lobby/waiting room. It was more like a lobby anyway, with a front desk receptionist and everything.
Green eyes glanced nervously around the room, not sure how much different this place was from the others. There was nothing much around to show that this was truly a doctor's workplace. In fact, it looked bland if nothing else. The walls were a barren red with a few shelves going around the room and a floor rim made of dark oak. Again, it hardly made Kurama think of a traditional psychiatric office.
Now, what was this boy doing in a psychologist's office? That was soon to be revealed as the door opened.
Kurama turned to face the aged doctor who walked from the door to his seat behind the mahogany desk. There was only a thin bit of hair remaining on his head and his eyes were hidden behind thick glasses. This man also had a small white beard protruding from his chin and he had that grandpa-like look to him. He straightened out some papers that had been lying on his desk before looking up at the young man through the thick pains of his glasses.
"Mr. Minamino I presume?" Kurama nodded curtly, wanting to get this session over with as soon as possible. "I'm under the impression that this will not be your first psychiatric visit."
"No sir, it won't," the boy said softly, refusing to make eye contact with the older man and staring at the floor intently. He always felt uncomfortable when he knew a psychologist's eyes were upon him. It felt like he was being studied examined, like a rat having been injected with some new drug. The doctor removed his glasses and momentarily pinched the bridge of his nose, as though willing away an oncoming headache.
"Your mother has informed me of your situation, Kurama, was it?"
"In any case, I know you've probably been asked to recount the story many times, but would you be so kind as to tell me when the situation began?" The situation. Every doctor called it that, but what it really was, was a mental disease, a plague on the subconscious.
"Well...If I had to guess, it was around Middle School," he started. The doctor nodded his head, taking notes as Kurama spoke, so it was possible to check back for any clues as to what might help the boy.
"Why do you think it started then?"
"W-well...," he said, stammering a little bit because this was the slightly embarrassing part of the story. "I-I had just transferred schools and...I-I was a little shy about making friends."
"So you created-?"
"No! He's no friend!", Kurama insisted. "He...he just sort of appeared one day. Well...he appeared actually a month or so into the school year." Another nod. "You see, I was one of the top students at the time and...being gifted and friendless leads to what one might call bullying."
"I see...So this thing was a creation out of the bullying you endured?"
"If I had to pinpoint a reason, yes, that would be it." He paused, allowing the doctor's writing to catch up with his story.
"Go on." Kurama cleared his throat.
"Well...it started one day in the fall when I was walking home. A bunch of guys caught up with me and started the usual: name-calling and shoving. It was somewhere toward the middle of it that I heard a voice in the back of my head." The doctor looked up.
"A voice?" Kurama nodded. "What kind of voice."
"Just a voice. Though, a deeper, more grown up voice then my own at the time."
"What did it say?"
"It said stop being a coward and stick up for yourself."
"The voice urged you to fight back?"
"Yes. It said that if I didn't do something it would."
"Did you fight back?" Kurama shook his head, wishing he had fought back that day, that maybe if he had then the years of therapy could have been avoided.
"No, I was too scared. Firstly by the guys beating me up and secondly by the voice I'd heard. I didn't know what to think of it. Next thing I remember was going unconscious." He paused, again waiting for the doctor to finish writing. "When I woke up," he continued, "it was dark out. I'd been out for at least four hours. I looked around and saw the guys who had been beating me up on the ground. They were unconscious too, but hadn't woken up yet. I got even more terrified of what had happened and without even pausing to check on them I picked up my stuff and ran home."
The doctor wrote some more before setting his pencil down and looking up at Kurama.
"And this is where you believe this, Youko, got his start?" Kurama shuddered and nodded. Just hearing that name made him want to duck into a corner and curl into a fetal position.
He hadn't told the doctor the whole story behind that day. Those boys that had ganged up on him were not unconscious. After he'd woken up, he DID check on them. He looked everywhere for a pulse, for some sign of life. However, not matter how hard he looked, he found nothing. Whatever had happened after Kurama had lost consciousness had killed them. It was once he'd checked that his mind finally registered the puddles of blood around the boys' bodies. Looking down at his hands he had found blood up to his elbows. He'd been so scared, to petrified of what he believed to have happened that he didn't even bother picking up his things, he'd just sprinted home.
After that he hadn't gone to school for almost a week, looking things up on the internet about dual personality disorder or anything involving doing things without remembering them. All he had to remember that day were nightmares. Nightmares where his eyes glowed yellow and had taken on a hideously evil expression. He continued to hear the voice as he lay awake at night. When asked who it was, the voice would always answer the same:
"I am you."
Kurama's mother had become so worried that she'd sent him in for psychological help. After a few weeks, they were able to pinpoint the cause of these occurrences.
Dual personality disorder. Apparently all the anger and resentment Kurama had felt while being bullied and left out at school had manifested themselves into a being that lay within Kurama's own mind. This force, as the doctors said, was taking out the revenge that Kurama felt he deserved but did not go after. The solution? First off, change schools and second off, try to stick up for himself more so that there'd be no use for this Youko. Kurama had done his best to ward off this invader onto his mind but it proved difficult to teach an old dog a new trick as the saying would have it. Youko continued to talk to him, trying to get Kurama to let him out but the redhead always refused. He knew the damage that Youko was capable of and refused to allow more people to be hurt. However, after transferring from three schools after the initial incident, Kurama's morale had begun to sink drastically and he'd all but given into Youko's urgings.
There was only one thing keeping him from allowing Youko free range over his body.
"Thank you Mr. Minamino," the doctor said, glancing at the clock. "My my, our time's already up." It hadn't been planned to be a long session. Those would come later as therapy progressed. This one was just a short 30 minute session for the doctor to find out what the problem was. Kurama would still be able to get to school after this.
Kurama stood up from his chair, knowing it was time to go. The doctor stood as well to see him out.
"It was nice talking to you, Mr. Minamino," he said formally. "I'll see you again in a few weeks." Kurama nodded and they both walked to the door, the doctor showing him out. Once in the neon-lit hallway, he slung his school bag over his shoulder and headed down to the elevator that would take him into the lobby where his mother waited. After that he would be back in school before third period (since most of the time there had been spent waiting).
-You don't want to be here, do you Kurama-kun? -
It was him again.
-Tch, so rude, and to the person you owe so much.-
What the hell are you talking about? It's because of you I've had to move constantly, because of you I've been so scared to let anyone near me! What gratitude are you owed?
-If I hadn't appeared, you wouldn't have come here. And you know who we met here.-
Kurama blushed lightly.
You had nothing to do with that, so don't you dare say that you're the one that brought him into MY life.
-Oh yes of course, that's right, I'm ALL evil. You didn't think that when all the bullies disappeared now did you?-
-You know I'm right, pet.-
I SAID SHUT UP!
"Kurama," said a woman's voice. He looked up to see his mother, waiting for him in the large room, now with several other people sitting there. "Are you ready to go dear?"
"Yes mother," he replied, following her outside to the parking lot. He would have to pull himself together. After all, nobody at school knew about Youko and he'd tried his best to keep the other hidden from knowledge.
Kurama feared that if he let it show that Youko existed, he would lose the one person he loved more then anything. If that happened...there wouldn't BE a reason to fight against Youko.
I plan to write a brother fic to this where it's the other way this story may have been written but, REVIW PLEASE!
-blah- Youko yakking inside Kurama's head