Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters that appear from the Gravitation series. Nor do I own Sophie cause she wont lemme keep her (Yes Soph is based on a real character 3) Anyway Maki Murakami owns them unfortunately.
Summary – Yuki abused and cheated on Shuichi in the past. And now its up to Hiro to show Shu that he is loved and wanted in this world (Bad Summary) WARNING: Mature themes. Yushu, Shiro, Yuma, hints of Kiro. Please R&R!
I'm glad she's left; now I can be alone with Hiro and my own thoughts. She let herself out leaving Hiro and me cuddling on the couch. Me lying, eyes semi closed, between his legs and leaning against his chest, his soft artistic talented fingers running through my hair gently while quietly humming one Bad Grasper's latest songs to himself. Half making me fall asleep but it's so hard to do so when music brings back so many cheerful and tender memories. Songs that I wrote about the fair-haired novelist and my love for him. Every time he upset me, I found myself wandering back into the arms of my best friend whom I loved with all my heart. It had taken virtually twenty years, several years of depression, self-mutilation and a suicide attempt to make me appreciate that it wasn't Yuki who I thought had filled all the empty spaces inside. It was in reality, the brunette that I was curled up with on the couch, after he had somehow pulled me back from my deepest pits of depression to here and he was going to help me get better. He had promised me.
I do love him, I always have done… Yuki used to say that love was some cheap stupid word. It would be to him though. He writes about it all the time in his tragic romance novels, which drive women insane and pleading for more. Never did he actually tell me that he did love me, not even once… he took it for granted believing that I would always be there. But love isn't just that… it implies a bond… one that you would do anything for to keep intact and whole forever. Like I'd do anything for Hiro. I was raped for Yuki but I'd still go through worse for Hiro. I'd do anything for him.
I look up at him, smiling at the thought of how lucky I was right now, to have a friend like him and possibly more. His eyes closed, long delicate eye lashes hiding the deep mesmerizing pools, that I would happily spend all day looking into. His long chocolate brown hair falling lazily over his face and slightly parted cherry lips that every so often he would lick with his tongue as he hummed.
I reached and pulled his hand from my hair and gently kissed it and held it against my chest directly above where my heart lay in this fragile body. The humming stopped and I immediately thought that I had done something wrong. Letting go of the hand, I started shaking slightly. Until the same hand cupped my chin and brought my face up so I could see him. He kissed the hand, where I had kissed it and placed it where it just was. I could only gawk taken aback, as I heard him whisper. "Shu-chan…"
My gaze fell back upon him as his hands slipped around my waist and hoisted me up his chest, our faces only inches apart and slowly we were both edging closer to one another other. Letting our lips touch gently, one of his hands pulling up one of my marred and deformed arm up to his gaze and slowly drew my long lavender sleeve up towards my elbow. He frowned as the extensive pink scars and fresh scarlet fingernail scratches came into view. I immediately clenched my eyes shut and allowed him to scrutinize the horrific results of years of self torment and harm and I prepared myself for any disgust and hate that I would receive from the gorgeous brunette beneath me. I was prepared for hate and for him to break down in tears. But I wasn't prepared to receive soothing kisses against these ugly scars.
I took a trembling breath and tried to relax my relentlessly tense body as he continued to kiss and stroke them, gently trailing his tongue lightly over the thick pink lines where the skin had been so efficiently parted in a quick his of heavenly pain, my body having to fill the gaping canyons with scar tissue and puss.
A cold wet droplet fell upon my arm and slid down, dripping off when I shuddered and snapped my gaze upon his own tear-filled gloomy eyes. "Hiro?" I raised my hand slowly and wiped away a tear, staring at the minute droplet that stayed on my finger before popping when the mass below me shifted to sit up, his arms wrapping around my skinny little waist and held me against his chest. Giving me the perfect opportunity to hide my own face within the crook of his neck. Damn. Why did he always have to be sad these days? The thought that it was all my fault itched in the back of my head as I gently stroked his hair, trying so quell his sobs.
I always wanted to see the one I cared most about happy. He should always smile, not only did he look even cuter with that special smile but it still seems weird, gazing upon that forlorn expression. I know I should follow the advice that he gave to me when I first met Yuki that fateful mysterious night in the park. The same day that I almost told the guitarist that I liked him as more then a friend, after he had said something about that I should hook up with a girl.
I bit my lip and nuzzled against the soft skin of Hiro's neck, that I wanted to kiss and nibble at so badly since I knew that, that was his ultimate weak spot and anything tickling him there would send him crazy and from past experiences… extremely horny. I wanted to tell him; thinking that perhaps knowing that I loved him would make him smile but I always thought that him and K-San was an item. I mean who wouldn't want to be an item with the crazed American blonde? Well apart from the gun obsession and the craziness, he's funny, loyal and very sexy (Apparently I said that once when I was drunk and Yuki had dumped me) but still I wouldn't blame Hiro if he did. Though I didn't want K-San, I wanted the man before me. I don't think I could stand the rejection that I would receive if it were true. Though who could ever love a mentally sick, suicidal person like myself? Maybe he only took me in because he cared for me as a best friend and nothing more.
"Hiro?" I mumbled against his sensitive neck, sending gentle vibrations along the skin. I needed to know… Without him I had no reason to live and I might as well curl up and die right there and then. For now he was my reason for living. The only thing keeping me in this horrible nightmare. Making me think that somehow there was light at the end of this perpetual tunnel.
The guitarist's grip tightened around me with his sobs subsiding somewhat as I moved back to look directly into those stunning brown eyes. Again wiping away as many tears as I could with my thumbs as I slowly cupped his chin tenderly yet firmly but somehow the words that I wanted to say wouldn't form. I wanted to be able to say how much I loved him or at least be able to say those three magic words.
Even though I couldn't say I, it would seem that I had mouthed it when my mouth ran dry and somehow he seemed to be able to comprehend me, for he immediately pressed his soft lips against my own dry ones in a gentle and loving kiss. Then moved back and stared into my dim purple eyes.
"I love you too Shu… God I love you so much and I always have done. You mean so much to me and this…" He motioned to my scarred arms slightly and caressed a lengthy pink scar on my forearm. "… This is my entire fault. I should have told you what I felt long ago before Yuki could ever come along and steal you from me but I just wanted you to be so happy, so I didn't interfere. I never ever thought that something like this would happen…"
I smiled gladly and shook my head. My pink hair with the visible un-dyed black roots swung around me as I moved before I looked down at my lap. "No its mine really. I couldn't see what was right in front of me and what had been for so long." I blushed feeling silly and stupid at what I was saying. "Plus I thought you and K-San were together… That you only ever thought of me as a friend."
I sighed and raised my head to look at him innocently to see he was smiling. The tears in his eyes subsiding just as quickly as they had came. "I guess we both got the wrong end of the stick didn't we? But I'm glad we got this straight…" He sighed and took an unsteady breath. "Don't ever think that I don't love you Shu…"
I nodded slowly, leaving my own gentle kiss on his lips. Grinning as I took the opportunity to attack the guitarist's neck teasingly. Kissing and nibbling at the exposed flesh. Hiro's loud sensual squeals and passionate moans filling the small apartment.
This is a slightly shorter chapter I was aiming for at least 1,800 words per chapter but shrug this is all you're getting! YAY more horrible personal experiences -- R&R please!