Pay by London
Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem... if I did, there would be a hell of a lot more 'combined endings.'
Rated: T (as of now) for shounen-ai. Language. Suggestiveness.
Chapter 3: Rain
Okay. So his fun-filled picnic with little heron princeling Reyson did not go so well. But, that was all right, right? After all, he was Naesala, King of Ravens, most powerful Laguz lord in the world, and proud owner of the most complete collection of thumbtacks of all time. It was... markedly not one of his best moments, though. Few people can look good trudging back home through mud, wet leaves, and swarms of buzzing blood suckers.
Was I too… forward? Maybe I should have waited a little longer before I started telling him that I loved him…Fiodore Forest be damned! How dare such a marshy, smelly, poor excuse for a forest grow near MY city? It was, of course, at that precise moment in which Naesala stepped in a hole. Though the hole itself was relatively shallow, the remnants of a previous rain still managed to soak his leg nearly up to his knee. Cursing and shaking the moisture from his pants, the Raven King took to the sky. How to woo Reyson?, Naesala pondered. How did it go in all those stupid fairy tales Nealuchi used to tell me? Hm… I never did find out what happened to that once princess. The old fart fell asleep before finishing the damn story. As he settled into an air current directed just slightly north of his castle, a smile worked its way onto Naesala's face.
It would happen at the bazaar. Pretty, Prince Reyson and pretty, Princess Leanne shopping. Well, browsing. Admiring the wintermellons! The sharp pointies! The ancient spell tomes, vacation packages in the Beorc lands, finely woven rugs, and silver wear. The whores, the bards, the jugglers, the drunks… Yes, indeed! The drunks. His name is Zorus. He has a wife with child, no job, and to top it off he's balding. It's called premature molting here. He came to the bar last night and stayed until morning until some harsh words between him and a beast Laguz prompted the bouncer to throw them both out. The tiger transforms and lopes off home. Zorus stumbles, vomits in the street, and gazes about, eyes glazed over and he hungers. He hungers not for food, but for the touch. The touch… of a woman! And behold! a woman he sees. Long, shimmering blond hair. White, stately robes. She might have a fair face but his peepers, clouded from drink, won't function well. He reaches out to grab her, to offer her what little gold he has and if that doesn't work, then he could always pull her into an alley when no one is looking.
"Let go, you filthy brute!"
Leanne, weak, easily frightened Leanne, would faint dramatically. Some old lady putting out her wash on a balcony above would scream, spilling a pot of water onto the street below. A homeless laguz wakes up and thinks its raining. The bard, caught up in the attention from the crowd would continue his song about the greatness of their King. The juggler's flaming knives would stay aloft. The whores and other drunks take no notice. But oh! someone does take notice. Someone with more than enough strength and good looks to rescue the poor maiden from her attacker. Well. His attacker. Anyway.
"Unhand him, scoundrel!" He jumps down from the roof of a nearby building, black wings spread wide. "Fear not, fair lady, for I, Naesala, King of the Kilvas, slayer of beasts, usurper of ill willed kings, keeper of the Peace, and sexiest being in existence, shall rescue you from—"
Reyson elbows his attacker in the ribs. Zorus promptly falls over into a puddle of grease and water. He would wake up in the same position in about nine hours, a little lighter from a lack of coin.
"—this unsightly knave?" Naesala finishes.
The heron turned to Naesala. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much. If I survived a continental war with a small mercenary army I can certainly fend off a drunk who would have fallen over if you so much blew at him." He takes the arm of his sister, who had not, in fact, fainted, and the two proceed down the street.
Hm. Maybe not. Ah, if only the world was still so dangerous. Then there'd be plenty of people I could save Reyson from. Afterwards he would look up at me with adoring eyes and proclaim his love for me. And then we would have hot sex. Yes.
Naesala's wind magic blasts the inebriated laguz, sending him into a small crowd of construction workers. Strong enough to knock back but gentle enough not to kill. Unless of course, his aim was to kill. Gallant King Naesala turns his attention to his Reyson.
"Oh, mysterious stranger with a terribly long introduction, I have fallen for thee!" Reyson says.
Leanne tugs lightly at Reyson' newly acquired cape. "Brother?"
"The name's Naesala." Pause. "Just Naesala." Smile. I need a last name…
"Naesala! If I were a woman, which I'm not, I would give a thousand pancakes to bear your children!" Reyson declares.
Naesala offers a hand and pulls the uninjured laguz prince up from the ground. "Well, I doubt you'll get pregnant but we can try, baby."
That is much better, Naesala thought. Mm. What to do… trail him around town and hope that a somewhat skilled, somewhat blind rogue mistakes him for a girl? Psh. Lessee… what is Reyson afraid of? He stopped in midair when the brilliant answer came to him. Uncleanliness.
Naesala moonwalks out of his study, head nodding in time with his theme song, self-composed, which was playing on repeat in his mind.
"Oh, great Nestling!"
Our hero turns. A little man with greying wings and a stooped walk trudges into his personal space.
"Yes, what is it?" Naesala asks, taking a step back.
"The showers!" Nealuchi cries.
"The showers? What showers? Our showers?"
"The showers are broken!"
"Which showers are we talking about?"
"All of them!" The aged one raises wrinkly hands and clutches his forehead in dismay.
Naesala raises a sexilicious eyebrow. "Since when?"
"Sasachi tells me that they stopped working last night!"
"That's… odd. I took a shower less than two hours ago and it worked fine."
"Amazing, your majesty! Your supreme greatness must have fixed your bathroom during the night!"
Satisfied with Nealuchi's conclusion, Naesala departs in search of a certain royal guest.
"Prince Reyson! Well met." Naesala graces the younger man with a warm smile.
"Is something the matter?" He puts an arm loosely around Reyson's shoulders.
"I need to wash my hair, but the shower is high uncooperative! In my room and my dear sister's," Reyson mourns.
"Do not fear, my friend! I shall have this shower fiasco looked into immediately. In the mean time, feel free to use my personal facilities. They still work." Naesala takes Reyson's elbow and guides him down the hall.
"Oh, much thanks, King Kilvas!"
Conveniently enough, a mere arch instead of a door separates Naesala's fantasy bathroom and bedroom. He graciously offers to keep watch and make sure no one disturbs the prince's shower. Ahh. Reyson. Naked. In my shower. And I'm practically in the same room… 'Guarding' the door. This would inevitably lead to…
Reyson staggers into Naesala's plush, warm bed, bearing the weight of said Raven King. They exchange heated kisses and then the clothes, Naesala's clothes, are off. The door connecting Naesala's suite to the castle hall is locked and bolted. "Mmh! Naesala!" He half lies on top of the forgotten, open towel. He is propped up on pure white wingsEHHdslfks as his unbelievably handsome host licks and kisses his pale, thin neck.
"My sweet prince," Naesala mutters. "Have you… done this before?"
"Heheh. Don't worry, then. I'll be gentle." Naesala smiles as he reaches a hand down and—
Actually, instead of pulling me in with him for a hot make out session he would probably screech and strike me with the soap if he caught me sneaking into the bathroom while he was washing up. Hm…ah! Naesala's illogical plotting was interrupted by a sudden feeling of wetness on the back of his neck. It's raining.
Rain brought back memories of his relatives. More specifically, of his mother and her sisters. Even more specifically, of their high pitched nasally voices reminding him time and time again not to fly in the rain every time he went out.
"Naesala! How many times do I have to tell you? Do. Not. Fly. In. The. Rain. What if you get struck by lightning? You could die!"
"You could lose your memory or something!"
"You could die!"
"Or become impotent!"
"Your feathers might fall out!"
"You could die!"
"If you get hit by the thunder gods, you will fry."
"Get it, fledgling? Fry! Cook! You'll look like… like… like your crazy grandma's duck dinner!"
"On your father's side, mind you. My mother never does anything as barbaric as cook duck."
"You could bloody die!"
It was raining. He was flying. More importantly, Reyson was flying. They had started a fair distance from the town. There was no way Reyson could have reached safety yet. What if he didn't know not to fly? Why if he does know and doesn't care? What if I'm not there to save him and he doesn't fall madly in love with me when I do?Oh gods. Reyson isn't that fast. He had a good head start but I can catch up.
And catch up he did. He flew so fast that he was unable to prevent himself from colliding forcefully into his unfortunate sometimes-friend. The duo tumbled from the sky above the edge of the city, Naesala on bottom when they finally crashed into and partially destroyed an empty transport wagon.
"Naesalaaa!" the heron roared with ire.
King Kilvas fought a cringe as he heard Reyson's less than delighted reaction. On the up side, they were in a quite compromising position with plenty of confused witnesses.
"What in the blazes do you think you are doing!"
"Saving you from sure death at the hands of an unfeeling nature deity in the sky?"
"What?" Reyson squawked.
"I thought you might get hit by lightning or something so…" Naesala mumbled while avoiding his eyes, self-confidence mysteriously waning.
"It's not that kind of rain, you pretentious idiot!" Reyson scrambled to collect himself and hurriedly stood up.
"I was worried."
"I believe you," he snorted.
"I mean, if it was a big storm you could have died," he protested.
Reyson rolled his eyes. "The sky's lightning's no different from Soren's magic."
Who? Oh yes, little Ikey's tactician bed warmer.
"You know how my spell resistance is. The only danger I was in was from you."
"…" Naesala sighed in defeat, a guilty frown ruining his normally happy exterior. "Sorry."
"…Really?" Reyson asked in surprise.
"Guh. Here." He extended a hand and pulled Naesala up to his feet. "I'm still mad at you, though."
"…Just a little."
Naesala brightened up a fraction. Neglecting to let go of Reyson's hand, he started back towards the castle. "Come on. It's raining."
To be continued. Nghmph. Hee. Guh. I can talk coherently. Really. Reviews are nice. If you see any inconsistencies, stupid typos, incomprehensible sentence structures, etc. please tell me. Thanks. I know very little actually happened in this chapter. xD I just thought a little taste of Naesala's incomprehensible thought process would be fun.