Flatten The Grass


Ok I'm actually using a song sung by Echo's children. Credit belongs to them.
I am not claiming this song cause if I did they would hire Leslie F. to get me.
And I've never met Leslie and that would make a terrible first impression.
(Considering I find her really cool) I would tell who actually wrote it, but
( I also have changed a few of the words to fit the fic)


I find in the morning three times out of ten,
A patch of the grass has been flattened again,
It isn't the bed of a horse or a steer,
This hasn't been pasture for more than a year.

Lina looked over the fields as the beautiful sun rose above the sky. She
wore peasant pants, and a white shirt. The group had settled down into a small two
roomed, plus living room, cottage. They were actually happy about being farmers. They
were getting tired of the dark lords and the bandits. Occasionally when money was low
Lina Inverse would quickly fix that problem by finding an unlucky hideout of bandits.

The early morning air was a wonder to her senses. She turned back to the fenced
pasture off to her very far right. She then looked back to the cottage and noticed
something. A trick of light? She walked out to the far field where the grass was three
inches tall to four inches. She let out a groan of frustration. It was another one. She
rolled her eyes. A large sized patch of flattened grass lay before her.

Who the hell could of made it? There were no monsters, or wolves, or bandits
around. And their cattle and three horses hadn't been in this area for over a year.
What was causing this?

I'm a young lady of savvy and charm,
There isn't that much I don't know on the farm,
Where cats get their kittens,
How clouds make each rain,
I pester the others until they explain.

Lina went to the pasture and took care of her end of the chores. As she did so
\she pondered the mystery. She Lina Inverse, who had the charm of a princess and
knowledge of any mage, could not figure it out. She knew so much, there wasn't much she
could not of known about. They owned five female cats and four males and they knew the
birthing places for the cats.

So it's not the cats. She thought to herself. Around seven o' clock Sylphiel's
voice sounded for breakfast. She ran up, enthusiastic about the thought of food. As the
others ate, she finally slammed down her cup.

"OKAY! I am tired of asking this, but I'll ask again!"

The group turned to her with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, Ms. Lina?" Amelia tried to ask normally.

"What the hell is flattening the grass in patches?!?" she asked with a hint of
anger in her voice.

Everyone went dead silent.

Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?
Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?

"Patches?" Amelia repeated with a small squeaq.

"Yes! Patches!" Lina sounded annoyed.

"Why, what do you mean?" Sylphiel asked with a tint of pink on her cheeks.

"Those flattened large patches of grass I find out in the field almost every
morning!" she looked exasperated. "Follow me!" she stomped outside being followed by
Amelia, Zel, Gourry, Sylphiel and Xellos.

They came to the patch which was begining to revert to normal.

"There!" she pointed. The group looked at it with raised eyebrows.

Sylphiel let out a cough.

Syl says that people will look at the sky,
Watching the shapes of the clouds going by,
I've done it myself at the edge of the track,
The easiest way is to lie on your back.

"Well Ms. Lina. Sometimes people look at the sky to watch the passing clouds
overhead." she explained. Lina seemed to ponder it and a certain four people were
begining to feel relieved at this.

"That's true." Lina said in a reasonable voice. "I've done that myself. The
easiest way to watch them is to lie down on your back."

Xellos smiled in an indefinable way, (indefinable to Lina, but not to anyone
with their minds properly in the gutter).

"Funny you should bring up lying on your back, Lina chan - " he trailed off as she
looked up to him.

"Why's that?"

"Sore wa himitsu desu." he winked at her grinning.


"If you're not gonna tell me, shut up!" she turned from the pummeled Mazoku to
the grass before her. "Wait - A - Minute..."

This does not swear with the way I behold,
The patches at daybreak all empty and cold,
Here is a question I'll ask for a lark,
How are they watching the clouds in the dark?

Everyone turned to her.

"How are they wacthing clouds in the dark?!?" she said angrily.

The group fell silent.

"Ya know I'm awfully hungry - "

"I wanna finish breakfast - "

"I have chores to finish - "

All this began at once and they began walking back. Lina screamed in utter

Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?
Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?

She stomped up to the house again, accompanied by a dark cloud over head,
lightning bolts included, and finished off her breakfast in a huff.

For a week there were no patches and Lina didn't bring it up thinking it was
finally ending, whatever it was.

Lina was still curious though, so she pulled Amelia off to the side, and
asked again.

Amelia had just opened and closed her mouth in a mute shock.

"Didn't we discuss this last week?" she whined.

"It was never answered!" she yelled.

Amelia sweatdropped. They left the house and began to take a walk. They paused
after three minutes and Amelia smiled.

"Well Lina-san - "

"You're going to tell me?!?" she asked with shock.

"Well - " Amelia hedged.

Ame says even some folks take the chance,
To practice a few of the steps of a dance,
Over and over they turn on the sod,
And flatten the grass in the place they have trod.

"You know how people like to dance?" she asked. Lina nodded. "Well people practicing
the steps ya know?" as if to prove it she did a few steps of a well known dance.

"See?" she pointed to where her feet imprints were. "If I practiced long enough I'm sure
it would have flattened more." she explained.

Lina nodded. "Reasonable..."

They continued their walk when Lina's sharp eye caught something to the left.

She began walking to it and Amelia followed her.

"Ms. Lina?" she asked confused.

They stopped dead at the beginning of a new patch.

Here is a patch and I see it just fine,
Too small for a ring,
Too short for a line,

Lina looked to Amelia.

"Look at that Ame. That is not a ring. Nor is it a line. Nor is it in the pattern
of any dance steps. Otherwise there would be some blades poking up!!!"

Amelia's face had blanched as she looked at the spot. Lina bent down and picked
up something blue.

Here is a blanket you have to concede,
That dancing should keep you as warm as you need.

"And look at this! A blanket. Even you've got to admit dancing is tiring and
makes you hot! No one would need a blanket!" she pointed out. She then looked to the
blanket again.

"Hey - This looks familiar - " she trailed off.

Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?
Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?

Lina looked out her window as the crescent moon rose up in the sky. She fervently
wished she knew what the hell was making those patches. The group was in the living room
talking and she was alone in the girls room.

She then felt a whisper of breath against her neck and almost screamed as she felt a hand slide onto her shoulder.

Xellos-san told me if I'd come outside,
He tell me the answer and show me beside.

Lina turned in her chair and jumped back against the wall to find Xellos standing
behind her.

"No need to be scared, Lina-chan... Do you really want to know how the patches
are made?" he asked with a secretive grin.

Lina's anger and surprise dissipated at the promise of finally being told.

"Nani? Are you pulling my leg?!?" She looked at him angrily and grabbed him
by his collar of his peasant shirt.

"Yare yare, Lina chan." he chided.

She released her vice-like grip on his shirt. "Will you?"

He nodded.

"I'll even show you how they are made." he said with a leer she could only
identify as creepy and that it made her very uncomfortable. Not showing her discomfort
she squared her shoulders and tossed her hair behind her.

"Fine. Show me." she said simply.

He teleported them outside and found they were a far distance from the house.
No one could have heard her, even if she yelled.

"Ok Xell, what's the big - "

She was cut off.

But he was just fooling I ought to of known,
He started to kiss me when we were alone.

His warm lips met hers and he kissed her deeply pulling her closer to him.

To say Lina was shocked would be a major understatement.

To say Lina was in a catatonic state, wouldn't be. She had gone silent and went
rigid as he continued to kiss her. She came out of it as his hands slid up her side and
back down to her waist.

She blinked.

I was so angry I stomped on his toes,
I blackened his eyes and I bloodied his nose.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?" she jammed her foot onto his, and
pummled him into the ground. "HENTAI!"

She left him as a Mazoku heap and stomped back at a half run to the house.

She flung open the doors and let out a screech of anger and slammed it behind
her, stomping into the girls room.

The four stood up and went to where she had gone. She was beating the hell out
her pillow. The group went into shock.

"Lina?" Zelgadis said carefully, not wanting her to turn violent on them.

"That - mentally ****** up namagomi, fruitcake, mazoku, piece of ****!"

The group had almost facefaulted, Gourry covered Sylphiels ears as Lina swore
in ways that would make even a sailor blush.

Zelgadis decided to test his luck, he went to her and tapped her on the shoulder
after feathers from a certain pillow took flight in the air.

"What happened?" he asked. She looked at him in a pissyness she usually only
had during 'That time of the month' and said:

"Xellos said he would tell me what was flattening the grass! He said me he
would show me how they were made!" she angrily shouted.

The groups eyes widened. Amelia facefaulted and Sylphiel gasped out as a dark
blush creeped across her features. Gourry blinked and Zelgadis strangled on some unknown

"He WHAT?!?" Zel asked with a strangled and infuriated voice. He was hoping he
hadn't heard what he had just heard.

"He said he would show me!" she yelled.

Sylphiel sat on the bed. "What happened Lina-chan?" she asked worried.

"He - HE - " she blushed several shades of red, each one darker than the last.

"Did he hurt you or touch you in any way?" Zel asked with utter seriousness.

"He - KISSED me!!!" she yelled.

The group blinked once.


"What else?" he asked.

"He moved his hands to my waist and I pummeled him into the ground!" she yelled.
The group sighed in relief.

"So nothing else happened?" Zel asked again.

"No nothing else! I wanted to be told what was going on and he decides to kiss me!
What is wrong with him! That was not answering me!"

The girls blushed. (minus the pissed lina)

"Uhhh - " Zel trailed off.

I guess it was stupid I figure somehow,
If he knows the answer he won't tell me now.

"And if he knew the answer he won't ever tell me it now." she said getting even
angrier at that fact.

The group shook their heads and sighed.

"You mean you really don't know?" Amelia asked.

"NO! I have no freaking idea what's going on!"

"You truly are naive Lina. You could identify almost any Mazoku in this world
and you can't figure what's going on..." Zel trailed off and stood up as the group left
her alone in the room, shutting the door behind them.

"I HATE THIS!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?
Flatten the grass,
Flatten the grass,
What are they doing to flatten the grass?