Hey! This is my first fic so please help me out. R & R all the time with suggestions or just to let me know how I'm doing. I'm doing this really to try and help my creativity in writing and just to do it to pass time…when I have it.
She stands alone at the cold burial site remembering her brother, her father, and her grandmother. Everything she lost is because of this stupid war. The war either destroyed many lives or completely took over them. Earth Nation citizens and Water Nation citizens both had to act like robots to the command of any fire nation person no matter how low the rank may be. She slowly makes her way down to the beach. First there was the emperor, his wife (when he had one), his family, the nobel men, the nobel women, the peasant men, the peasant women, and then the Earth and Water nation people. Suddenly, while she walks alone in the sand the cold water rushes over and away from her feet. She never understood why she was considered to be so low. She wasn't rude or inconsiderate, disrespectful or uncaring but no matter how hard she tried, she would always be some stupid water peasant. A tear runs down her face and she sits on the warm and yet cool sand. She was a low life. Nothing would ever change that.
She stares at water thinking of questions that come up with no answers. Just another puzzle made in her mind that will never be put together. Everything is just so confusing to her. This is why she goes to the place which is her only sanctuary, the sea. She watches as the waves roll over one another and how each wave competes with one another to make it to land first. She loves the wind to rush by her face with different forces and in different directions, for her hair to fly in her face, for the sand to get in her clothes, and for the water to get her wet. It's just so soothing. She doesn't have to think about what she's doing and if it's right or wrong. She doesn't need to know what time it is or worry about what tomorrow might bring. All she knows is that she is one of the few people that live in one of the few villages that have not been taken over by the Fire Nation. For that she is extremely thankful for. She watches the sun gently splatter purple, pink, orange, yellow, and light blue all across the canvas sky. The orb starts to fall underneath the water curtain and the wind becomes cooler. The wind starts to cause chills to run up and down her body and she starts to wonder what time it is. It couldn't be too late because the sun just set but then again it wasn't early either. The only thing she did now was that she was definitely a slow walker when she wanted to think about something and it was going to take her a good thirty minutes to make it back to the safety of her village.
Her family was all gone by the time she was 15. Her best friend Suki and her family decided to take her into their household and raise her as part of their family. As hard as they tried, it was absolutely useless. There efforts never worked to make her feel comfortable or at home in the little wooden cabin. She was forced to pretend she was happy. Forced to pretend she loved her life. Forced to pretend she loved her family! All that she new was dead! There was no happiness, there was no family, and there certainly was no life. To her, she was already dead. Somehow though, she could, breathe, talk, eat, sleep, and do anything a normal person could do. She wasn't average though. She wasn't real. Her eyes wore the color of ice. No emotion ever settled upon her face. It remained neutral at all times no matter how sad or how happy the occasion maybe. There was the exception to this rule though. When she was alone and no one was near, she would let a never ending water fall slide down her face and let soft sobs escape her lips. Later on she would punish herself mentally for acting so stupid and crying. She never did have much of a high self esteem and never approved of any work she did. She was stupid, insignificant, worthless, insecure, and hurt.
She opened the door quietly making sure that if anyone was asleep in the house, she would not wake them. Unfortunately, everyone in the house was asleep except the man she was now supposed to call "father". She, nevertheless, she preferred to call him Sir or Mr. Kyon. He never approved of this "behavior".
"Where have you been Katara? We have been searching since lunch for you!"
"I've been so worried Katara! What has gotten into you?"
"Your always leaving this house without telling anyone and goes to who knows where and comes back late at night with a "sorry sir" and it still happens over and over again! If something happens to you we would never know where to find you! Now tell me were do you go!"
"I was at – "
"Don't you dare lie to me either and tell me you were in this village because we looked all over for you and practically had the whole village looking for you!"
"I was at the burial grounds Sir"
His green eyes tore into her ice ones as if searching for the truth. After an awkward silence he finally began to speak.
"It's not good to spend your whole life there Katara. I know it's hard but you have to move on. I understand your pain but –"
He never did get to finish his sentence. She wouldn't let him. He did not understand! He never lost a family member in the battle. Why? He was the stinking master of this village! Anything he said went. He did not and would never understand. She was sure she was going to make that clear.
"Understand? UNDERSTAND? How do you understand? You never lost someone in this war not to mention three people! You do not understand! You never will understand!"
By now the mistress and Suki had come out from there rooms and were staring at the two people who woke them up from there once peaceful slumber. Never in their life had anyone seen Katara blow up like that especially to the master of the village. The master couldn't do anything but stand right there with his mouth open as he tried to comprehend on what just happened. Even Katara stood there dumbfounded trying to realize what she had just done.
"I'm sorry…I…I didn't…I'm so sorry!"
She pushed past her "mother" and Suki and ran into her bedroom and jumped onto her bed. She couldn't help herself so she cried and cried and cried. She didn't know why she said what she said but she did. It was so confusing to her. The master and mistress always told her to tell them how she felt, it wasn't good to keep to much emotion locked up, but when she did tell them how she felt, it was wrong.
They tell her to reach to the sky, she can do anything. The sky only goes up so far.
They tell her to have faith in herself, what good would that do if she always failed, let herself down?
They tell her to make goals and achieve them. What if she keeps failing?
Believe in yourself.
I would only be lying to myself.
Trust in yourself.
I can't do a damn thing right.
Trust in others.
They always end up screwing things up.
Live and love life.
There's nothing left to love.
How can they love me?
You have got to be kidding me?
When her dad was alive he used to always tell her that no matter how different they may seem from the Fire Nation, they were all the same. The way there body was made to the way they ate and drank, they were not different. The only difference there was, was they way they were taught. The way they grew up. Their culture and beliefs. They were the same and different. How in the world was water and fire alike?
Ever since she found out she was a water bender her dad used to take her out daily to the beach to teach her how to bend the water. She was going to be a master, until the day he died. She remembered that day. It was so distant, locked away in the back of her mind, but it was so close, as if it happened yesterday.
She was sitting on the beach watching the waves rolling over and over each other. Waiting and watching the boats to arrive safely to shore. She was going to see her dad! She had spent a whole two months with Suki and her family and it wasn't the same as her being with her dad. They weren't mean or anything but it just wasn't her dad. Her dad was the only part of her family she had left and she really needed him.
She finally saw the boats and a smile gently made its way onto her face. She was so happy. As the boats got closer she started to run to the docks were she would be reunited with her father. After what seemed like forever the boats finally docked. As the men started unloading the boats she jumped up and down feverishly trying to get a glimpse of her father. Instead of a greeting from her father though two soldiers came up to her with a frown on their face.
"Excuse me but your Katara am I correct?"
She nods her head still looking for her father.
"Would you come with us please?"
She didn't have to ask what they wanted. It happened once already to her. When her brother, Sokka, died.
"No" she whispered as her heart jumped.
"Ma'am please, come with us."
All of a sudden her knees gave way and she fell to the floor tears streamed down her face. All she could think was 'not again'.
A knock came from the door.
Quickly wiping away the tears and making sure her voice was steady she said "yes?"
Suki opened the door with a weak smile. "You alright?"
"Yeah of course"
"No your not."
"No really I am."
"Don't lie to me I know when you lying and I know your not alright."
"Then why did you ask." Katara couldn't help but give a soft smile.
Katara laughed. Then Suki laughed. Then Katara, Suki, Katara, Suki, Katara, Suki, and then they both stopped and looked at each other for a second. The next thing you knew they were both rolling on the floor laughing. They didn't know why or what was so funny but what they did know is that they enjoyed there few happy and joyous moments with one another. Soon they both stopped and said goodnight because they almost got into trouble from all the noise they made.
Katara laid her head on her pillow and slowly started to count sheep. She had done this since she was young because she always had trouble sleeping. Still at the age of sixteen she never stopped that little habit. It actually worked. !101 sheep, 102 sheep, 103 sheep. They just went on and on and on. You would get dizzy but the numbers kept on coming. 9..4…7 s…h…e…e….p, 9….4….8….
She was asleep. Not in a deep sleep were you wouldn't remember any dream. Not in a very light sleep were anything would wake you up. It was a sleep were she would dream and never ending soap opera that played over and over again all night. For the past couple of years this was the only "sleep" she got. This was the only "sleep" she knew. She knew it wasn't real but never wanted to let anyone know. All she could do was wait for the next day to begin. The only thing she did not know was that she probably really would not like that day to come. Many things awaited for her that day.
-- Ditz4lyf --