It was an unusually calm day, something peculiar in a location such as Jump City.
It was almost as if a silent truce was announced between the villains that typically scourge the city with their ambitions. Not a robbery or car theft, no commotion from the usual suspects like Plasmus or Cinderblock. Normally they were around just causing miscellaneous havoc, at least, until they were stopped. No, today was an abnormally peaceful day.
One would believe this would be a good thing. One could come to the conclusion that this meant the cities enforcers were doing their jobs, doing their jobs well at that. But…for one green individual…
…this abnormally peaceful day…was abnormally unbearable.
Beast Boy idly lay on his bed in a state of consciousness that could be only described as lethargic.
"There are 73 tiles on my ceiling…great…now I don't have to lie when someone asks," He said to no one. He lay there still, intently staring at his ceiling with a gaze that was mixed with both contempt and desperation. If he were Starfire, there would have been a gaping hole there a long time ago.
"Come on," he shouted desperately to his ceiling, "can't you give me something better to look at!" "You're pitiful you know that, you're good for nothing. Here I am, lying in here, putting all my trust and hope into you, and what do you give me? Nothing! That's what! You shame me ceiling," he rolled over, thoroughly disgusted by his ceiling's lack of compassion.
Finally realizing the absurdity of arguing with drywall, he let out a big, defeated sigh.
"Man, where's Slade when you need him," He stated. Then, after a few seconds, he actually heard what he said. "Hmmm, did I just wish for Slade to do anything? Whoa, I gotta be more careful, can't let Robin hear me say that. Steel toed boots don't exactly tickle, especially not around the hind quarters."
He rubbed his posterior at the thought of a boot to his bottom, glad it was only him in his room.
"Although, now that I think about it, no one ever comes in here anyways." He rubbed his chin as he contemplated the reason behind this, quickly finding his answer as he surveyed his room.
His room was a modern marvel in itself, for it contained an overwhelming amount of trash that clearly exceeded the normal standard for living, yet, beyond all reason; he was still able to live there! Once asked how he was able to live in such an environment with his heightened sense of smell, he simply gave the response, 'It grows on ya.' Needless to say, his answer did not go un-debated.
His gaze shifted from the month old pizza slice that decorated the left corner of his "room" to the mound of old tofu packaging he affectionately dubbed 'veggie hill'. He then set his eyes upon old uniforms that were molded into place by months of neglect and he couldn't bring himself to look into the corner that held his waste basket. He'd only taken out his trash once, and that's because Raven had threatened him to do so. Apparently air vents and trash dumps don't mix too well. "I really should get to cleanin' this place sometime…" he said to himself, " …meh, ill get to it later," he reasoned as he rolled over on his bed. As he was doing so however, his eyes once again fell upon his accursed ceiling, and instantly, almost as if he'd seen his grandmother naked, turned his head away. It was then the unthinkable happened…
"No time like the present, got nothing better to do." Beast Boy, was about to clean his room…
In the common room…
There is no place on Earth even remotely like the common room of Titans Tower. No other place will you find a world-famous boy detective, a runaway alien war princess, a well over 6 foot tall half robotic technological teenage genius, and a… Raven, all in one place. Usually this scene was made ever the queerer by an olive green shape-shifting prank prodigy, but that member was nowhere to be found today. And apparently someone had finally taken notice…
"Where's Beastboy?" Raven eventually queried. She had noticed for quite sometime that the green one wasn't around. The fact that she was able to read a FULL chapter without interruption was the first tip off. She thought of saying something at first, but decided against it, quiet was a luxury she rarely indulged in.
"Hey yea…where is the lil' string bean?" The Metallic Titan asked as he, for the first time this morning, peeled his eyes away from playing the Gamestation, " I haven't whipped him in…," he checked the clock built in his arm, "…7 hours. I'm startin' to go into withdrawal here," The cybernetic teen whined.
"Wow…7 whole hours? How can you manage?" Sarcasm obvious in her voice.
"Built tough I guess," Cyborg shined with undeserved pride, apparently missing the obvious intent of Ravens statement.
"Evidently you needed to be built to recognize sarcasm; one would think you'd have a sensor for that, but then I really should have known better."
Before Cyborg could respond, pointing out that he does have a sarcasm sensor; Starfire felt the urge to express herself, as always.
"I too am troubled by the absence of our friend, what do you think is delaying him?" She asked to no one and everyone at the same time. And, like clockwork, Robin was the first to answer the concerned Tameranian's query.
"I'm sure he's just overslept, like always. He must've been up late playing a game or something, like always. I should really have a talk with him about his priorities; he spends all his time playing games."
"Hence the brain rot," Raven added.
Everyone seemed to be satisfied by this answer, being the typical order of business for the shape-shifter. Everyone but one that is.
"I am not so sure my friends, never before has friend Beastboy been this tardy to the morning break of fast, why, it is almost the time of afternoon comestibles!"
Any other stander-by would have been completely lost with the syntax of her words, but through years of practice, the rest of the Titans didn't miss a beat.
"Chill Star, I'm sure there's nothin' to worry about," Cyborg offered.
"But-," Starfire attempted
"Starfire," Raven began, showing the early signs of annoyance, "if you're so worried, why don't you just go upstairs and check to see if he's ok?"
"Yes, you are correct friend Raven, I shall embark to find the whereabouts of our friend," she said as she headed toward the door, only to stop dead in her tracks when she realized where she was about to head to… Beast Boy's room.
"Ummm, perhaps he is asleep," she feebly began, "it would be…rude, yes, very rude of me to interrupt his slumber." She stated to her friends, nodding fervently to her statement.
"Star, its 11:30, if he's still asleep, he deserves to get woken up." Robin said.
"Oh, that is very true, but, it would…be…very… improper for a girl, such as myself," Raven rolled her eyes at the unesscecary reminder of her 'female-dom', "to enter the living quarters of a male of equal years," she managed, finding a sudden interest in the ceiling.
"Star, I've seen you wash his draws before, don't think you can get any more 'improper' than that," Cyborg pointed out. (Think Transformation)
"Or sickening," Raven contributed.
"But…uh…I- there's a…" Starfire rambled, trying to think of another plausible reason for her to stay away from Beastboy's room.
It was then the gears in the boy detective's head started turning, and he did what he learned to do for many years, figuring out a mystery. And right now, Starfire was acting very mysterious.
"You don't want to go into Beastboy's room, do you?" Robin asked with a smirk. His smirk widened as Starfire jumped at being founded out and let out a little 'eep'.
"It- it is not that I do not wish to retrieve our friend, it is just… his domain is too hazardous of an environment for me."
The rest of the Titans were dumbfounded, plain and outright. Cyborg even dropped his controller, although he somehow subconsciously managed to pause the game before he let it loose. It was Raven who voiced the words everyone was thinking.
"You- you're joking, right?"
Starfire looked slightly confused at the accusation and asked, "No, why is it you believe I jest?"
"Starfire, I've seen you fly into outer space in a miniskirt, how could you possibly be intimidated by a room!" Raven exclaimed.
"In the confines of space, there is no air for which odors to travel. In our friends room however, there is…no shortage of air."
The rest of the titans all looked at each other, bewildered.
"You mean it's easier for you to enter and return through a planet's atmosphere and gravitational pull, than for you to enter Beastboy's room?" Cyborg stated shakily, obviously trying to get the facts strait. Starfire nodded, slightly ashamed, to her friend. The rest of the Titans looked at each other, this time however, busting out into a fit of laughter, save Raven of course, but even she let a few giggles escape, masking them by clearing her throat.
Slightly embarrassed and chafed by her friend's jeering to her confession, Starfire began to stomp off towards the door.
"Starfire…Hahaha…Star- Hahaha…S- Starfire…wait a sec, Star wait!" Robin shouted for her through a fit of laughter, trying desperately to recover enough to calm her. Leaving a Tameranian flustered was not a good move, for the team, or the well-being of the Tower. He unsteadily made his way from the kitchen to the steps that lead to the common room's door. Upon reaching her, who was standing arms crossed and refusing to look him in the eye, rummaged into his utility belt and pulled out a collapsible gasmask.
"Here Star, I'm sorry for laughing at you. You can use this to go into his room with, it's a gas mask, and it'll protect you from his…air," Robin said, barely able to contain a snicker at his reference to her explanation. Starfire looked at his hand and smacked the device away, sending it flying over the couch. Robin winced at the force of her blow; she forgets how strong she is sometimes.
"I am in no need of your 'mask of gas', I am well able to venture into friend Beastboy's room without your assistance," Starfire forcefully explained, poking a very strong finger squarely in his chest; Robin winced at this too. This was no longer a simple retrieval, this was a matter of pride, and Starfire refused to accept any handouts.
Before Robin could offer any sort of explanation or apologies, Starfire was out of sight, and he had no intention of following her. Getting poked really hurt.
"Nice," was all Raven said as she returned to her spot on the couch, re-immersing herself into her novel.
(.) ( '.') ('.' )
It was a sight among sights, something only joked about, something written in the book of legends…Beast Boy was actually cleaning his room, and he was almost done! He had picked up his old uniforms and put them in a hamper to wash. He put all his old tofu wrappers and that elderly slice of pizza in a trash bag, reorganized his comic book collection, and re-hid all of his books. He even, for the second time in living in this room, had taken out his trash. He also went as far as opening up his window to let out some of his legendary funk. All that was left was vacuuming his floor, and making up his bed.
The vacuum was loud, but the noise went ignored, for Beast Boy had long since he started been listening to his MP3 player, to help pass the time. As if that wasn't enough to distract him, he also felt the need to read while he vacuumed. He was becoming rather engrossed into the story, which, oddly enough, was not in picture form. Beast Boy doesn't always read comic books, although he does enjoy them. Contrary to popular belief, he is quite literate, and actually has a large collection of novels, which he hides under his bed. Currently, he was pretty enthralled into the story of Lord of the Flies. It reminded him of back in the day when he used play on the African coast with his parents as a kid, minus the severed pig head of course. He was so enthralled in fact, that he was completely oblivious of how close he was coming to his comforter, which so messily was sprawled out, half on the bed, half on to the floor.
Before he knew it, the vacuum was maliciously trying to eat his favorite green cover. He frantically tried to pull the sheet out of the vacuum's grasp, not once thinking of simply turning the appliance off. Not able to get enough of a grip with one hand, he chucked his book under his bed, after memorizing his page number, and grasped the cloth with both hands. He pulled hard, incredibly hard, as hard as he could manage, but to no avail. Infuriated by the vacuum's defiance, he changed into something with a little bit more fire power, a 450 lbs. African Gorilla. With arms strong enough to toss a pick-up, Beast Boy reached for the comforter, ready to make quick work of its retrieval, at least, that was until suddenly…
(o.o) (o.o) ( . )
Starfire stomped off the elevator and onto the 3rd Floor, creating small tremors that did not go unnoticed by the others in the common room, and determinedly headed towards Beast Boys room. Throughout her approach to his quarters, words that were clearly not English could be heard, words that clearly could be distinguished as 'unlady-like'. But, her alien rant was halted when she heard a weird noise. She continued to walk towards Beast Boy's door and the noise was getting louder and louder. She was just around the corner of the hallway that leads to his room when it hit her. She knew what that noise was! That horrible, detestable noise was all too familiar to her, it was not the first time she had crossed path's with a… "Scordolian Xinglard," she said menacingly as she recognized that horrible sound. There were many tales of its war cry; many were not spoken to again when encountered with such a noise. She had been skilled enough to defeat more than one, but it did not mean it was easy, she was very wary of them. She did not expect to hear such a sound on Earth, that 'Whiiir…fvvvvvhhh' sound. Perhaps one of the many enemies to the crown had found her location and sent one to vanquish her. If they think she will cower in the face of such a creature, they were sorely mistaken.
Her pace and her pulse quickened as she rounded the corner, ready to battle the horrible brute. It was then she realized that the noise was coming from none other than Beast boy's room! She rushed the rest of the way to the front of his door and tried to open it, only to find that it was locked. Worried for her friends safety and anxious to rid the creature from the world of the living, she did all she could think to do in such a desperate situation. She charged her hands up with brilliantly green orbs and shouted, "Friend Beast Boy! Stand strong and do not fret! I am here!" Then, with extreme prejudice, she blew the door clean of the hinges.
(o.o) (x.x) ( -.-)
Beast Boy didn't know what just happened. But he did know that this kind of thing always seems to happen to him, always. He was just minding his business, trying to retrieve his cover from the clenches of the vacuum cleaner. He didn't know Starfire was on her way to his room, he didn't know that she would mistaken the noise of his cover being sucked into the vacuum cleaner as a war cry from a savage alien monster. But what he did know is flying doors are not very soft. Not soft at all.
"Friend Beast Boy! Friend Beast Boy where is the foul creature?"
Starfire didn't know what she just did. She didn't know that the sound was coming from a very harmless vacuum. She didn't know that there were no Scordolian Xinglard sightings every recorded on Earth. Ever. And, most importantly, Starfire didn't know she had just pinned an African Gorilla on the wall with his very own door, his very hard, metallic, door.
With a grunt Beast Boy pushed his door off of him and onto the ground; silently thanking he had just seconds before transformed into a gorilla. Otherwise, every bone is his body would have most likely been broken.
"That's one heck of a knock you have there Star," Beast Boy said rubbing his head as he turned back into his human form.
"I will apologize later friend, we have more pressing matters at hand," Starfire explained.
"'Like!' Did you not hear it?"
"The War Cry! You cannot say you have not heard it!"
"Uhhh… 'I have not heard it?'"
"THE XINGLARD…we must defeat the Xinglard!"
Although having absolutely no idea what a Xinglard is or what one sounds like, Beast Boy decided to play along. Angry Tameranians aren't as fun-loving as happy Tameranians.
"Uh, I don't hear a 'Xinglard' now, do you?"
Finally taken notice that the sound had stopped, due to the fact the blasted door had pulled the vacuum cord from its outlet, Starfire became puzzled.
"Friend, I am certain I heard the terrible war cry of a Scordolian Xinglard, most certain!"
"Well, I don't hear one now, so, is there anything else you need, cause I was in the midd-,"
"O yes friend!" Starfire interrupted, suddenly remembering why she'd came, "The initial cause for my visitation is to discern the reason for your absence this morning. You missed the break of fast and are about to miss this afternoon's time of comestibles."
"Did I really? Wow, sorry Star, I was just caught up."
"But you do not seem to be caught on anything friend."
"No Star, I meant I was busy."
"Oh. Busy doing what, might I ask?"
"Well, just before you K.O.ed my door, I was in the middle o-,"
"What's wrong! I just heard an explosion and…" Robin asked, rushing into the room after hearing the living daylights being knocked out of Beast Boy's door.
"Nothings wrong Rob, Star just thought I was being attacked by…something…"
"… A Scordolian Xinglard," Starfire clarified.
"Yea, that, anyhow, she thought I was in trouble and…Rob…Rob you listening?"
Robin was frozen at the entrance of Beast Boy's room, mouth agape. It was almost like he'd seen a ghost.
"Friend Robin what is the-," Starfire began.
"Raven get up here STAT!" Robin ordered through the communicator.
"What are you do-," Beast Boy inquired, only to get cut off by a certain empath emerging through the floor.
"What?" Raven harshly asked, clearly annoyed about being torn away from her book. "What could possibly be going in Beast Boy's room that needs my attention?"
"Look for yourself," Robin said, clearly still baffled.
Still perturbed, she did what she was told. Upon once-overing the green boy's room, all of Raven's agitation took a back seat to her utter surprise. She directed her attention to Beast Boy and said, or at least attempted to, "Di-Did you…clean your room?"
Slightly offended at everyone's surprise, Beast Boy said, "Yeah I did. Geez! What's the big deal! It's not like-," Beast Boy began to say, only to get interrupted yet again, for the second time by Robin.
"Raven, check him," was all the Boy Wonder said.
Immediately understanding, Raven closed her eyes and began to focus.
"What are you doing?" Beast Boy asked, but, not a second after the words passed through his lips did he know what was going on. It was like ice water was being dumped down his back. He could feel the beginnings of someone probing through his head, his mind and his memories. It didn't feel right, and it was extremely unnerving, he hated it, and he felt like he could hate who was doing it to him. And Beast Boy, for the first time in a long while, got angry.
He gathered all his thoughts back, feeling completely just and didn't for a second think he couldn't do what he was about to do. And then he did what no one was able to do before; he expelled Raven from his mind, he nullified her ability to run through his head. In short, he pushed Raven away, right out of his mind. Almost as if someone had pushed her, Raven fell back, clear on her rump.
"Don't EVER do that again!" Beast Boy shouted, clearly angry at what his friends thought they had the right to do.
Raven, too shocked to have been denied access, was speechless, as was everyone else. But for her, what Beast Boy had just done didn't make any sense. How was he, a simple minded buffoon, able to push her away, with her lifetime of practice?
"Beast Boy, we're sorry, but it just isn't like you to clean your room or to miss a meal, we thought something was wrong." Robin explained.
"Something wrong with me?" Beast Boy asked, sounding a little darker than usual.
"Yes, we thought something was wrong," Robin tried to reassure.
"No, you thought something was wrong, Robin."
"Look," he interrupted, "It doesn't matter if something was wrong or not, you had no right to invade my privacy like that."
"Especially for some dumb reason like cleaning my room, am I not allowed to clean it or something!"
"Friend, Robin was just con-," Starfire tried.
"No Star, I was just trying to be nice. I cleaned my room because I realized no one likes to come in here because it's usually a mess. I cleaned it for you guys!"
"Beast Boy, I'm sorry." Raven surprisingly said.
This got to Beast Boy. Raven hardly ever said sorry to anyone, especially him, and she'd thrown him out of windows on a number of occasions. He decided perhaps he was overreacting; all she was trying to do was to make sure it was really him; she was doing what Robin had told her. It was even a bit funny.
"I guess we all overacted a little bit," Beast Boy said, subduing his anger. "Heck, I'd check me too if someone like me cleaned his room."
"Yeah, maybe next time I should just try asking, I can be a little suspicious sometimes." Robin said.
"Oh yeah, only sometimes," Raven cracked, earning a glare from Robin.
"Ok, now that we all know that I'm me, can I finish cleaning my room ?"
"Yeah, sure Beast Boy, I'll send Cyborg up here to fix your door." Starfire blushed at her handiwork.
At that, everyone began to file out of the room. Beast Boy walked over to the vacuum cleaner and plugged it back into the socket, forgetting in all the madness that his bed sheet was still caught in it. And then, he turned it on...and Starfire wasn't quite out the room yet…
"XINGLARD!" she shouted as she turned around and shot a starbolt in the direction of the 'war cry', landing solidly on the vacuum, sending dust and all sorts of refuse exploding all around the room.
"Oh," began Beast Boy, "So that's what a Xinglard sounds like..."
(o.o) (n.n) (o-o)
In the common room…
Cyborg rounded the corner, it was the last lap of the final race of the grand prix. He was in second place and a hair behind the 1st place racer, 100ft from the finish line. The crowd was silent and time seemed to cease as the race looked to be coming to a close. But, Cyborg was not to be outshined. Using his opponents slip stream, Cyborg punch the accelerator and blasted into 1st place to take the checkered flag .004 seconds from the second placer.
"BOOYAH!" Cyborg shouted as he punched his fist in the air. Truly this was the finest win in Gamestation history. And he looked to see who had witnessed his glory.
"Hey," the lone Cyborg said, "where'd everybody go?"