Hey guys it's me again. pretty much the only thing i've got to say about this chapter is that I DID NOT WRITE IT. Gohan'slittlebro47 wrote it for me because he is a darling boy and i love him very much. anyway i'm sick (head cold) and im sick of this story (because it's shit)

btw. congrats to anyone who pointed out that there has been 0 plot in the last few chapters. that would largely be because there was no plot, so good work to those ppl. anyway after i post this i think i'm going to go back to lying down and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks Will you're the best

"Who wants to fight me?"

Everyone quickly looked up quickly, not quite understanding what one of their favorite professors had just asked. They had just gotten into the gymnasium that Harry and Hermione had had made earlier in the year, and most of the people were still half asleep.

They had been forced to get up at the ungodly hour of half past five in the morning for the lesson. All them had been standing around quietly, attempting to retain consciousness, a few of them failing. The only people who seemed awake were the quidditch players, who were used to getting up early. Not that they were happy about it.

Harry looked at them, not quite glaring, but not far from it. He was dressed in a tight-fitting robe that had separated legs. He looked quite odd. "I said, who wants to fight me? Somebody volunteer, it's just a demonstration."

After a little silence, James nudged Sirius, who didn't budge. James nudged him again, harder, and this time Sirius stumbled. Harry grinned wickedly and motioned him over. "Glad someone has the guts. Come over here Mr. Black."

Sirius gulped, not liking anything about the way Harry was acting. He'd even called him by his last name. That hadn't happened since the marauders, including himself, had attempted to sneak into Harry's and Hermione's room in order to spy.

With a shaking hand Sirius took out his wand and got ready bow to Harry, before he noticed Harry shaking his head.

"Not like that," Harry said with a small chuckle. He tossed his own wand onto a small cushion off to the side, which no one had seemed to notice, and motioned for Sirius to do the same.

Sirius hesitantly threw his wand over, and jumped when a small shield burst into life around the two wands.


Sirius was getting more confused and scared by the second. His favorite teacher had gone mental. Violently mental. After a quick look at his friends, and seeing their expression's mirroring his thoughts, Sirius said, "Attack? With what?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Before Sirius could react, Harry had taken three quick steps forward, placed a hand on Sirius chest, stuck his knee behind Sirius's knee, and pushed.

Sirius started to fall down, but at the last second Harry's other hand had snapped out and caught his shirt, holding him up.

"You lose."

Sirius was looking up at him, eyes wide.

The doors to the gym burst open, and Hermione strode in. "Sorry I'm late guys, some third year tried to-" She cut off, looking questioningly at the terrified students and Harry holding Sirius up, who looked ready to wet himself.

Hermione sighed and walked up to Harry, took out her wand, and cast a cheering charm on Harry. He blinked, caught sight of Sirius in his hand, and started laughing hysterically.

"W-w-what??" Sirius stuttered.

"Harry, what did I say?" Hermione said, scoldingly.

Harry blushed and answered, "No tea before lessons…"

"What?" This time from a small Gryfindor near the back of the group of students.

"Remember the other day, when Harry had coffee and acted like he'd drunken an entire bottle of cheering potion spiked with fire whiskey?" The students nodded.

Harry laughed. "Tea does the exact opposite. Now, Sirius, I believe you have a little… problem with your pants?" Hermione caught sight of the dark stain, and shook her hand. Apparently Sirius had been ready to wet his pants.

The group of students roared with laughter, catcalls coming from the girls. "Leave it Sirius to break the ice!" yelled James.

Harry chuckled. "Okay, guys, settle down now." The students, if anything, laughed even harder, as Sirius's face was rapidly going through the colors of the rainbow. "C'mon guys, we've gotta get class started!"

When there was still no change, Harry motioned to Hermione, who smiled and took out her wand. "Silencio!"

The student's eyes widened, and a few of them grasped at their throats, unable to make any sound.

Hermione cast the counter spell and Harry started talking.

"Okay, now that we have your attention, I'd like to say why I did that little assault on Sirius, other than that I was temporarily insane, of course." The students chuckled halfheartedly.

"Well," Harry said, walking aimlessly through the students, as teachers tend to do, "we're starting our new course. However, before I get into that, let's have a little check up on what we've gone over so far, shall we?"

Hermione continued, "Basically, we'll go over the Progressive magic and physical fitness, just to make sure you're all doing at least as well as before."

"What about the Unforgivables?" asked James. All the other people jerked and looked at him with small amounts of hate and horror. Remus swiftly knocked James over the head with book he had been reading. Peter jumped and looked at Harry fearfully. James and Lily had been the only ones to throw of the Imperius Curse last time, and so had been the only ones to leave that particular class unembarrassed.

"There's not much point in that, James," responded Harry, laughing a little bit. "There hasn't really been enough time for any of your results to change."

Most of the students sighed in relief, and Harry was surprised to not hear Sirius mutter under his breath something about being able to throw the Imperius Curse this time, but then remembered his small… bladder problem. The drying charm Remus had cast on Sirius's pants hadn't done much to cover the smell.

"Do any of you need a reminder of what Progressive magic is, or how to do it?" The class shook their heads.

"Okay, good, I'd like you to attempt to make these roses bloom. Don't worry, they won't have any thorns, unless you make them have them."

Harry finished speaking and opened one of doors leading to a storage area. He pulled at a bag, and walked back to the group.

"I'd like each of you to take one of these roses and have them bloom. You have five minutes. Try not to finish early, I want to see how well you can time them. Oh, and before I forget, here, Sirius." With a quick wave of his wand, Sirius's pants were rid of the stench.

"I can't believe you wet your pants!" James was looking at Sirius, still on the verge of laughter.

"Yeah, well, you probably would have done the same. He moved so fast I barely saw him! We gotta find out who he really is." When he saw Remus's mouth open, eyes wide, he cut him off, "Not like last time! I mean, just see if he'll tell us. Like, later in the year, when we're better friends. Seriously, he scared the crap out of me, but it was awesome! I didn't even know that was possible!"

"I know!" said Peter. "That was amazing. Think what it would be like if we could that!"

"You'll find out soon, but first you better start on your roses, or Harry might decide to give you detention." Hermione had appeared behind them, smiling. "Something like, oh, I don't know, maybe cleaning up Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

She chuckled at the looks on their faces as they quickly got their roses and began the task of making them bloom.

Hermione walked back over to the girls, wondering where Harry had gone. Looking over at the students making their roses bloom, nobody seemed to be having to much trouble, but Lily barely seemed to be trying, and her rose was growing beautifully.

She stepped up next to Lily and said, "Well, you seem to be doing well. Have you been practicing, Lily?"

Lily smiled. "Yeah. I had some trouble last time, and I wanted to get better, so I asked Professor Vinesy for some unbloomed roses, and other plants. She brought me a ton from the green houses, so I've been able to practice a lot. I'm still having trouble making the Choking Vine grow without letting it get a hold of anything first…"

"I'm glad you're trying so hard! Keep this up, and you'll get an Outstanding in our class easy."

Lily smiled her thanks, and Hermione walked off to continue supervising.

At the end of the five minutes, Harry strode back in, carrying a small bag. Whatever was inside it made odd rattling sounds as he walked to the center of the gym, and called the students around him.

"Okay guys, let me see those roses." They made a line in front of him, and he took each one, and gave it a small inspection. "Hmm, Pattersin, I think next time you should concentrate on the rose, and not Raoul over there." The girl blushed and took back her rose, which seemed to have never seen a drop of water, and tried her hardest to not catch the eye of Raoul, who was smiling at her.

This continued on for about twenty minutes, and finally Harry stood up and clapped his hands. "Okay, now we're going to recheck your fitness. No, James, not the same way as the other times, this time with physical evaluations. Sorry you won't get to see Evans in her underwear again. You'll run a mile, and we'll record your time, do as many chin-ups as you can, have a small sprinting test, and a do as many full sit-ups as you can in a minute."

Hermione said, "After you all test, we'll give you a small bean to eat that'll make you lot less tired, and get your muscles to heal from the testing. Now, separate into groups of 8, and we'll start the testing. After we finish, we'll use the last twenty minutes of class to start our new unit and shower off."

The period went by quickly, with almost everybody excelling. Noticeably behind, however, was Peter, who obviously still hadn't made much of an effort to improve. Both Harry and Hermione mostly ignored this fact, not really caring about Peter. As far they were concerned, he deserved everything he got.

Finally everyone was done, and most of the students were lying down on the floor, exhausted.

"Hey Harry," said James, from his spot on the floor, "didn't you say something about a magical bean that heals us or something? Like, to make us less tired?"

Harry laughed. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Sorry. And it's not magical, just strong."

"Whatever, just toss some over here!"

Hermione and Harry opened up the rattling bag and pulled out handfuls of some kind of metallic green beans, and started handing them out, telling the students to try and swallow as much as possible without chewing, if they couldn't do it in one gulp.

All of the assembled students, even the Slytherin's, made surprised remarks after eating the beans.

Hermione just chuckled and said, "Yeah, these are pretty quick working beans. We found them in somewhere in the Great Dividing Range in Australia not long before we came here."

Once all of the students had been rejuvenated and were ready to go, Harry said, "Well, judging from the little demonstration I gave earlier with Sirius, does anybody have a guess what the new unit is?"

One of the muggle-born students raised her hand and said, "Martial arts?"

"Basically. However, we're having less rules than most of the muggle fighting forms, because all they really do is hold you back. It'll pretty much be a bit of most fighting forms, and freestyle. I take it you've taken some classes, Miranda?"

The girl who had answered before nodded timidly. Hermione smiled and said, "Good, did you learn any stances?" She nodded again. "Great, could you come up here and show us your favorite?"

Miranda walked up to the front, blushing a little from the attention, and crouched down. Hermione's eyebrow went up in surprise and said, "Good job. You must have had a qualified teacher; I don't usually see stances that good."

Hermione walked up to her and began pointing out little facts about it. "See here, her legs are a little more than shoulder-width apart, to give her better balance, and she's on the balls of her feet, making it easier to do some quick moves. Her feet are diagonally-facing making a ninety-degree angle, so she can't be forced to be pushed to either side. Her basically form a partially incomplete square, making it easy for her to strike in most directions, and hard for somebody to get a hit in."

Hermione asked Miranda to turn around, who did. "The weakest point is, though, the back. Because she's on the balls of her feet, and the way her feet are pointing, it's easy to push down from behind." To suit her words, Hermione gave Miranda a small push on the back, which made her lean forward rather far, before she managed to regain control and not fall down.

Then, from the one of the Slytherins towards the back, someone yelled out, "Do you seriously expect us to fight like muggles? It's way to degrading. I refuse!" There were murmurs of assent throughout the Slytherins, and Harry stepped forward.

"Who said that? Step forward, please." Lucius Malfoy walked to the front of the group, sneering again. "Mr. Malfoy, I would have thought you would have learned your lesson last time you tried to say what we are teaching isn't useful. So, you think that muggle fighting is beneath you?" Lucius nodded. "Well, that's odd. I've found it pretty useful. I once took down five death eaters at the same time without a wand using 'muggle' fighting, and Hermione's taken down seven."

"But fighting like a muggle is cheating!"

"I won't try to change your ideas on that, but you think they didn't cheat either? They were death eaters, of course they 'cheated'. However, the fact that I beat them in a different way than they were used to didn't change the fact that I did beat them."

Hermione stopped the pair from continuing by saying loudly, "That's all the time we have for today! Go shower and get to your next class."

Malfoy and the Slytherins walked off unhappily, and Harry and Hermione caught the marauder's and Lily's group before they could walk away.

"Hey guys," said Hermione, "are you free tonight?" After the unanimous yes, Harry continued for her, "Do you all want to go to Hogsmeade tonight? As teachers, we have the right to go off of school grounds anytime we want, and it won't be hard to get permission from Dumbledore to go. How about it?"

The group let out a rapid succession of replies ranging from, "Sure," from Rhea, to "SWEET!" from James.

You know the drill you r and r (read and review)

and i r and r (rest and relax)