Title: Afraid to Love

Author: DaimaAshiki

Summary: A poem describing how Ennis feels about Jack, including his fears.

"Afraid to Love"

I'm afraid of what I feel

Afraid to admit that this is real

Afraid of letting anyone see

How much a man could mean to me.

I hate to be afraid

Always wishing it was easy

Never wishing we'd never met

Because your touch is my salvation and my death.

I want to stay

But it's a fear too powerful

I want to look away

But you're something too beautiful.

Your eyes are like the stars

Your touch is like the sun

I always want to feel you

But my fear makes my heart come undone.

I keep thinking that it's wrong

I love you, but it's hard to hold on

For you I long when we're apart

Why is it so hard to love with this heart?

I want to run but never leave

I want to forget but never can

And while in my heart you'll always be

I can't seem to give you all I am.

Ignoring the pain makes me forget the world

But I cannot be a fool

This is somewhere I cannot stay

But I always feel its pull.

It's the only place I want to be

But only when I cannot see

This crazy world of people glancing 'cross the street

Peering deep inside me.

I'm safe when I'm not thinking

Because all the people disappear

I hate to think of what they're thinking

Is it all just an irrational fear?

I don't want to run

I don't want to hide

I just want to love you

And be always by your side.

The nights are hard without you

The days are ever long

Each passing happy face reminds me

That I'm not in your arms.

You have to know how much I want you

You have to know how much I care

Please don't doubt that my heart is yours

And forgive me that I can't be there.

Lies have to be told

And truths have to be kept

Feelings have to stay inside

I won't let our secret be our death.