Okay, I'm a fan of my own story. That must sound shallow... Anyway, this is new, and I don't know how often I can work on it. I hope you all will like it as much as I like it (and I'm critical of my things).
Summary: Kagome used to be the popular and happy girl in school. Everyone loved her, until summer break. Now, returning to high school, no one regognizes her. Will someone be able to find out why she's vanished? Inuyasha's POV.
Rated M for the following: Cutting, mention of suicide, adult situations (Miroku's fault this had to be put in), and foul language... If these bother you, then suck it up and read, or leave.
Heart of Pain
Chapter One: Junior Year
I can't believe I'm like this. I've always been level-headed about women. I don't get too deep into relationships, and I never really care for someone the way I do now. So... Why am I acting like this now?
I guess it's hard for me to admit, but I'm in love. I'm not talking about the kind of love you say you're in, just so the girl won't break up with you. No, this feels like it could be real love. There's only one problem...
I don't know her. She doesn't know me.
I guess that's two problems. We have a lot of classes together, but we aren't exactly friends. Sure, she acknowledges me, and I do the same to her. But it feels like we have no other way of knowing each other. She's in five out of six of my classes, and it drives me crazy.
I guess I don't know why I'm so in love with her to begin with. I mean, it's hardly been any time at all since I started noticing her. I guess I first noticed on the first day of math class. She answered things like she had done it before. I was aw-struck. I didn't understand the math at all, and she was there, explaining it all like a professional!
That was when I started to see her. I found out a few days ago that we were in a few of the same classes in Freshman and Sophmore year. But I never noticed her. I was going out with Kikyou at the time, and she was... different.
That woman (I'm referring to Kikyou) wanted to put blinders on me like you put on a horse. If I even glanced at another woman, she got upset and possessive. It was okay at the time, but then it started getting boring. I broke up with her after she yelled at Sango.
Sango and Miroku are my best friends. Sango's little brother died a few years ago, and I helped her cheer up from it. Then Miroku started hanging around her. Sure, he's a pervert (I mean, he's a really big pervert), but he seems to care for her. Since she snapped at him for grabbing another woman, I noticed he's been keeping his hand under control a lot more.
I remember when I mentioned liking Kagome to Miroku. He said something about what porn star she resembled. That was startling, and I didn't want to look at her that way. I know, since she's popular, that she must get tired of men trying to date her. Sango even explained how she probably feels.
"Kagome must feel like a piece of meat. Men don't seem to care for her because she's smart, or kind, or compassionate. Men who want to date her, just want her body. They don't care about the rest. She knows it, and she probably avoids relationships. In fact, I heard that Kouga was trying to date her recently... She had just turned him down and said that when he got eyes, she would..."
That still confuses me. Even though I hate Kouga, I know that he has eyes. Although, I've been tempted to rip them out myself... Anyway, I still don't get it. When he gets eyes, she'll date him. I'm hoping that he won't get eyes, because I don't want him with her. I've seen how he treats his girlfriends. It would ruin her innocence if he did that to her.
I guess you want to know what I mean. Well, Kouga used to hit his girlfriends. I only saw it with one of his girls, but he did it a lot. He grew so possessive over them, that he constantly hit them for not being just the right way. He would tell them to dress worse so other men wouldn't look at them. Then he'd tell them to dress better because he wanted to be impressed when he saw them.
Having Kagome treated like that would ruin her, I know it. Even though I hardly know anything about her, I know he'd shatter her spirit and happiness if he acted that way.
But, he claims he has eyes for her, and she smiles. Everytime he says he has eyes for only her, she'll smile and shake her head. Then she'll tell him that he shouldn't try so hard. That what she meant isn't so hard to figure out if he would just think about it.
But that's not the point. The point is her. Kagome Higurashi has gotten me tied up in knots. I remember hearing a song of Sango's from some dude. What was his name? He was on American Idol... Oh yeah! Josh Gracing, or something like that...
Anyway, the song goes like this. Oh yeah, by the way she moves, she's got me rolling in dirt in a while T-Shirt... Breaker-breaker one nine, she's a big-old flirt. By now she's got me pretty tied up, tied down any way I choose... I've got nothing to lose. Well, that's true for me.
I can't believe the way I act now. I think of her so much, it's got to be wrong. I mean, not perverted thoughts, but just memories of her in class or chewing on her pencil.
I noticed she chews on the backs of her pencils (the special mechanical kind) a lot. Makes me wonder if she's nervous or if it helps her think. Like when my dog ears are rubbed, I relax.
Pretend you don't know that, alright? I still tell Sango and Miroku that I can't stand to have my dog ears touched. They believe it, or so I hope. If they don't, then they act like they do pretty well.
Wait... Where was I? Damn, I need to stop interrupting myself! I guessI shouldn't try to resume these thoughts. I have to meet Sango and Miroku for lunch today. It's our ritual. Every Saturday, we meet for lunch and then Miroku and I follow Sango around the mall. She's not shopping at Macy's, like you would think. She's trying to find Hot Topic (since she seems to get lost so easily).
Well, things don't matter right now. I can't be thinking about Kagome. They'll see the love-struck look on my face and know what's going through my mind. Well, Sango will. Who wants to know what Miroku will assume I'm thinking. The pervert...
Sango knows that I plan on asking Kagome out before summer vacation. It's coming up in two days, and I'm hoping she'll say yes. I know she turns a lot of men down, but I have a feeling she won't do that to me. If she does say yes, that gives us the entire vacation to strengthen the bond between us... Even if we stay as just friends...
Next time on Heart of Pain...
Inuyasha is spacing out in class, again. What happened to the girl he has fallen in love with last year? She was on the role call list, but he can't find her now. Had she moved without telling anyone?
There. Let me know what you all think. I hope you like this chapter, even if it is a bit on the short side. I'll try to make them longer, but I can't make any promises. No, I'm serious, my promise button broke. I'm getting a repair for it next year... Yep, my sweet-sixteen birthday (in Feb of 2007), I will have it fixed...
Hey, if you have questions ask them in a review. I don't mind answering them. In fact, I love to answer things and communicate with my reviewers!
I need 10 reviews before anyone can get the next chapter...
- Lonely Bird