Nothing like a little GaaNaru on a cold winter day! (smiles) Yes.. This was written out of boredom... so forgive my idiot grammar... I really have a problem, so please be nice to me...
Hmm... Let us dedicate this one to Squick... for all the nice things she does for me!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... BUT SASUKE'S SOUL IS MINE! I BOUGHT IT ON EBAY!
On with the fic!
It was something the two of us had been doing for a while now, Gaara would come to town on occasion and we would meet in private. Nothing special, Gaara had always assured me that it was only to release the tensions of the world and nothing more... Being a nothing but a vessel for myself, I could not deny him. I had my own frustrations to deal with... my own feelings.
I had some one I liked, but I knew there was no way that he would ever accept my feelings... I was some one who was meant to be shunned and hated... Gaara was the closest I'd ever get to that feeling... I was not about to turn him down when he had came to me for the first time.
"Wha-What are you doing?" I screamed, shocked to see the red head behind me in my own home, "How the hell did you get in here?" He smirked as he gently pushed me into the wall.
"I want something from you, Uzumaki Naruto," He captured my lips, I tried to push away, but found myself over powered by the other boy... My thrashing did nothing but tighten his grasp on me, He paused, withdrawing to gaze upon my now completely shook up state, "Just a small favor, I can assure you, I am not here to steal your heart away."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I whispered, I don't want anyone to here me, these walls are so thin, thin enough for my neighbors to easily eaves drop.
"I need you to love me... just for tonight. Just until I can go out on my own, without these frustrations... You of all people should understand how it feels to know that no one will ever really care. No matter how hard I work towards the future, what I really desire will be outside of my grasp... I have a person, a special person who I know will never accept my affections..." I could feel the emotion in him as he kissed me once more. I did not push him away this time, I just couldn't my body was just too confused.
A thought went through my mind at that moment... Sasuke... He was the person I had wanted to be pinning me to the wall at this moment, but I knew my aspirations were far off... The Uchiha hated me... with ever fiber of his being and there was nothing I could to change that.
"Please Gaara..." I stated, as calm as possibly could, "Get off of me... I don't want to be like this... I do not exactly know your situation, but being with me will not bring you any closer to that person you desire." His force on me only became stronger, I could feel his erection grind against my legs and my own stirring groin... I couldn't help but feel excited, Gaara was willing to do things to me that I had only imagined in my most dirty of dreams... Things I knew I would not be able to pass up.
"That person is nothing but a shallow dream," Gaara whispered into my ear, "I can not part with the idea of him beside me... though I know that he has another on his mind, I still reach out to him, a kind of painful love... As my affections grow deeper for this individual, I feel exhausted... and feel as if I can no longer continue with my one sided love... I need some one to help me in letting out these little frustrations of mine... some one who knows the pain I feel... some one like you."
"I... I can't do this..." I shook my head furiously, trying to think of an excuse, Gaara began to lick the outside of my ear, working his way down to my neck, "I.. I don't feel that pain... there is no one... I don't like any one in particular, I have no one-sided affections! Stop it now!" I blushed as I tried once more to reason with him, I felt my own will fade away as I let out a whimper.
"I don't believe you," The red head smirked, "I know that there is some one on your mind... I know that if I was to do this," toying with my zipper, he got onto his knees, "You would think of Sasuke and how you had hoped to be with him."
"How? How do you know that?" I screamed, as embarrassed as ever, shocked as the boy pulled down my underwear to reveal my hardened cock, "No! Stop it you disgusting pervert!" I could not pull away as he started to lick the tip of my erection, It felt so... it was something I was not used to... It was something I never thought I would experience with Gaara. He took it in slowly, allowing me to refuse him if I had wanted to...
But I didn't... I could not move away from the feeling... It felt as if he had wanted with all his heart... to do those things to me... For the few hours of our encounter, it almost felt as if I was loved... It almost felt as if some one cared.
In the morning he was gone, leaving me naked on my living room floor, I couldn't help but cry as I recalled the events that had taken place the previous night... Any chance with being with Sasuke was surely lost... I was impure... I was no longer the virgin I was, and yet... I felt relieved... The tension that had accumulated over a lifetime of hate was expelled, leaving nothing but determination and a more focused desire... Gaara was right... It was easier to go on when you felt loved... even if that love was nothing more than a physical desire...
That was how it had started... a physical desire, but with each visit I became more and more reluctant to see him. At times we didn't even have sex, we simply spoke, getting to know one another... It was only a matter of time before I began to fall for him, I could not help it... The way he had treated me made me feel as if I could conquer my greatest fears and attain anything I had put my mind to... Something Sasuke could never do for me... Though my heart had once yearned for the raven haired boy, I found my desires fade away with each passing visit from the red-head.
There was only a minor problem with my new found affections for Gaara. He had some one he had loved, Some one that had initially brought him to me on that fateful night. I could never compete, all I could ever be to Gaara was a friend... a friend with benefits. Even if it tore my heart in two, I would continue to see him... I knew that I could never stop, he was like a drug, reaching deep into my system, grabbing hold of me. I had to keep my own feelings a secret and so I had, until it had been about a year after our first time together. How was I to know that with a few simple words... my cover was to be blown... my emotions revealed.
"I think I might like you Naruto," I was so shocked, I turned to Sasuke, This couldn't be real... Nothing in life could be so simple. I shook my head to expel some of my confusion.
"C-could you say that again?" Is what I managed to get out, I was not exactly sure what was going on... but I was very sure that my ears were deceiving me. He then smirked, approaching me, slowly wrapping his arm around my waist.
"I like you, Dobe," He spoke very clearly this time, for clarification, "I am tired of watching you from afar... I want to be with you." He tried to bring me in for a kiss, but I quickly pushed him away in terror. What was I doing? Didn't I want this? Even if my heart was with some one else... I should have been more realistic and accepted my former crush's affections. But I couldn't... I was too caught up to think rationally.
"I... I got to go!" I screamed, trembling... I then turned away before he could even respond... I had to get out of there. I ran off with no destination in mind, no plan.. no idea what I was getting into. All I could think was... It's over... Oh My God... It's over... All my time with Gaara would fade away... I had what I 'wanted' now there would be no reason for Gaara to come down and see me... no reason for us to be together any more...
I was crying so hard when he finally came to me, stopping me in the streets of Konoha... I don't know exactly why he was here, it had only been a few days since our last visit... but I wasn't about to question his actions... I was far too relived to see his calm, assuring expression.
"What are you doing?" He asked, wiping my tears away, "This is what you always wanted... Why are you running away from him now?" I shook... I was too frightened to say a word... but I knew I had to say something, I couldn't let him slip by... he was the best thing to ever happen to me, I was determined not to lose him.
"I don't know. I am so confused... so very confused. I thought I wanted Sasuke, that is, until I met..." I went silent, I was so scared, but it had to be said... I took a slow breath and continued, "...you, Gaara... and I can't take it any longer. I'm so sorry... I know things weren't supposed to get like that between us, but I can't control how I feel... I can't help but love you." I looked up into his vibrant green eyes, from his expression I could tell that I had nothing to worry about. His smile contained nothing but the most sincere kindness.
"You want to know something, Naruto? That person... I wanted more than anything... That I thought would never come to accept my love..." He took me into his arms, kissing me on the forehead, "...Was you."
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