After untangling themselves from their classmates, Hermione, Harry and Ron walked along to the transfiguration classroom, occasionally making bemused comments about Professor McGonnagall's seizure-like laughing, which had not stopped when they had exited the potions room a few minutes ago.

"I really hope the Professor will be able to breathe soon..." Hermione murmured.

Ron made a "hm" noise.

"Lips going blue isn't a good thing in the magical community, is i--" Harry started.

"MERLIN'S BALLS!" Hermione shrieked, dropping her bag of books, more than twenty textbooks cascading over the floor, her hands clapping over her mouth, her eyes almost inhumanly large, staring in front of her.

"Whut?" Ron asked the girl.

Hermione seemed to be in shock.

Ron and Harry followed her line of vision and dropped their books too.

Standing, pinned against the transfiguration door by Kiba, was Gaara, shirt pulled up to his clavicles, Naruto standing in front of him, hands placed on the other boy's ribs, Sasuke sitting in a shaking bundle in front of the door also, all four of them watching the hogwarts three.

All seven of the teens merely stared at each other, before Harry finally made the first move.

"Are those nipple piercings?"

Hermione flushed bright red and Ron rose his eyebrows.

Naruto and Kiba merely looked at each other, Sasuke flinched violently, and Gaara just looked bored.

"Yes." the foreign red-head answered, raising a knee and giving Naruto a sharp prod in the thigh, the blonde stepping away, Kiba letting Gaara out of his captive.

"Why have you got nipple peircings?" Ron jumped onto the bandwagon.

"Why" Gaara asked, his voice merely a soft hiss through his teeth as he raised two pale hands, pulling his shirt back down, "is everyone so interested in my nipples?" Naruto merely grinned at the red-head when he looked pointedly at him.


Harry looked down the hall to see the man named Jiraiya walk down, a notebook in hand, a rather impressive bruise on his jaw. "I need your help, kid. Tsunade won't help me with my data-gathering!" Jiraiya gasped, stopping in front of the young teen.

"I'm not helping you!" Naruto barked, crossing his arms firmly over his chest, a pout placed resolutely on his face. "I have a lesson in a few minutes!"

"I'll get you ramen." Jiraiya crooned, a smirk on his face.

Naruto's pout got worse. Naruto had learnt self-control.

"What the hell is going on?" Kiba asked, scratching his messy head of hair.

"He wants me to do my sexy no jutsu." Naruto grumped, the hogwarts three merely hearing a lot of confusing jibberish.

Clearly familiar with whatever Naruto had said, Gaara smirked, Kiba grinned and Sasuke groaned.

"Can you boys do it too?" Jiraiya asked excitedly, looking at Gaara, Sasuke and Kiba gleefully, practically drooling.

"Of course I can!" Kiba barked, placing an offended hand onto his chest.

"Unfortunately so." Gaara replied in a bored manner.

Jiraiya turned to Sasuke, who merely whimpered and curled into a tighter ball by the door.

"How about you all do it!" Jiraiya chirped happily.

Gaara, Naruto and Kiba exchanged glances, slow grins melting onto each of their faces.

"Who's going to be the pimp?" Kiba asked, rubbing his hands together.

"I will." Gaara stated, tapping his cap, which somehow had turned into a violent purple coloured, wide-brimmed hat with a pink feather.

"You always look smashing in the pimp hat." Naruto crooned happily, placing his hands together into a seal.

Kiba grinned, forming the seal also, Gaara merely rolled his eyes, edges of his lips twitched upwards, forming the seal too.

Jiriaya squealed in delight and readied his pen and notepad.

Harry, Ron and Hermione glanced at each other.

"What are they going to do?" Ron blinked.

Harry glanced behind himself to see the rest of the class stumbling toward them.


White smoke exploded into existence, Harry, Ron, Hermione and all the rest of the class throwing their arms in front of their faces as the smoke rushed at them, to almost immediately start to fade away, clearing way to the image before them.

Ron clapped a hand over his nose and blood exploded forth from his nostrils, as did almost all others, even the girls.

Harry, now the only one standing of the class, his shoes stained with other people's blood as his classmates lay, dazed, at his feet, Harry, somehow able to have a defense against this terrible thing, merely stared, all the portraits framed with blood, the occupants of said portraits unconscious with somewhat dazed smiles on their faces.

Standing before a very happily scribbling Jiraiya, was Gaara, wearing a rather dashing suit and gold chains hanging around his neck, his pimp-hat still in place, in his arms, two naked women, one blonde, one brunette, wearing nothing but fishnet stockings and hair-ribbons, their warm, tanned skin glowing in the light.

Jiriaya let out a happy squeal and ran over to the three, patting them all on the shoulder, before running off down the hall, waving his notebook and cheering.

The blonde belle smirked, before snuggling her arms around Gaara's neck, nuzzling his cheek, the brunette doing the same, Gaara not even seeming to notice he had two very naked and very beautiful women clinging to him, merely looking at the ceiling with glowing, bored, turquoise eyes.

"Merlin's beard..." Harry murmured, Sasuke merely clutched his head and sobbed.

((TBC. Ye gods, it's been a while, hasn't it??! Sorry for such a long delay! I just went off this fic completely! Anyway, this is a christmas present for all the people who have the patience to read this fic! Merry christmas, and pimp hats all around!))