I Will Love you Forever

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them

Summary: What will happen when an old love comes back into Olivia's life? Will it change for the better or worse?

A/N: Wow, totally never expected to write this storym but it just came to me, adn I had to write it! I hope you all like it as much as you have liked my other stories. If you haven't read my other stories, just click on my penname and read them now!

A/N: this story takes many turns! The first two chapters are kinda sad, but fear not, it gets better! Don't be discouraged by the first chapter, it is a little dark, but the rest of the story isn't!

A Loss

Olivia sat in shock as she slowly processed the doctor's words.

"It's gonna be okay Liv." Maureen soothed as she took Olivia's hand in hers.

"Yeah Olivia, the kids and I will all be here for you." Kathy added as she placed her hand on Olivia's shoulder. It was the only gesture she could think of to try to comfort the broken women sitting in front of her. "Even though he's gone, it looks like were still all gonna be a family." She added somberly.

"I'm fine." Olivia finally managed to choke out, even though no one had asked her. The two other women in the room knew that she was in fact not fine, but didn't have the heart to argue.

"We'll let you get dressed, then, maybe get some lunch." Kathy offered as she and her eldest daughter began to leave the examination room.

"Thanks Kath, but I think I just wanna be alone for a while." Olivia offered.

Kathy just nodded her head, "I'll drive you home then." She whispered. She placed an arm around her daughter and left Olivia alone in the room with her thoughts.

As Olivia slowly dressed her thoughts raced. "How could I be pregnant?" She thought. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

She desperately wanted to be happy, after all since she and Elliot had began dating six months prior, all she could think about was having a family of her own. She and Elliot had even discussed having a baby some day. Olivia had lain awake many nights in Elliot's warm embrace imagining them sitting with Elliot's kids, and a baby of their own, as man and wife. "Guess that's all shot to hell now." She thought sadly.

She knew that she couldn't be happy; after all, it had been a week since she had been able to feel anything.

Olivia finished dressing, but couldn't bring herself to leave the room. She didn't want to see Maureen again. She knew that the girl was in as much pain as she was, and it killed her that she couldn't make it go away. She loved her like a daughter, for that matter she loved all of Elliot's children like they were her own.

Instead of leaving the room, and facing what had become a somber reality, she decided to sit in a wooden chair in the room, and get lost in her empty thoughts.

"When was the last time I felt anything?" She wondered, but inside she knew the answer.

It was when she saw him fall to the ground. She could still feel the cool December air. She could hear the sounds of her and Elliot's feet on the warehouse floor as if she were still there.

"Why did I let him split up?" She wondered.

The sound of the gunshot was still ringing in her ears. The image of Elliot falling to the ground clutching his chest in vain would be forever burned in her memory.

She remembered rushing to him. She didn't even realize that she had shot and killed the man who had taken everything form her until Cragen informed her at the hospital.

Tears silently streamed down Olivia's face as she remembered holding the man she loved in her arms as he took his last breaths.

"Tell my kids… I love them. Tell them…I'm sorry." He said softly.

She could remember telling him not to talk like that; she remembered begging him to hold on as she screamed into her radio for a bus.

"I wanted to dance with them… at their weddings. Tell them… to save a dance for me." He had asked. "Tell them… I'll always be with them."

She could still see his eyes fading from her; still feel his blood stained hand as it caressed her face one final time.

"I will always… love you Liv." He had said. "I'm sorry… I never wanted this." He said hoarsely.

"I love you too Elliot. I always will" She had said through tears. "Please, don't go." She had begged. "I still need you."

The ambulance had arrived as the man she loved went limp in her arms. She could still feel his cold hand as the ambulance rushed to the hospital. She had prayed as she sat, cloths stained in his blood, in the waiting room. She begged who ever was up there to save him. That was the last time she had felt anything.

When the doctor came in, she could tell by his face, that Elliot was gone. It was at that moment that she went numb, and hadn't recovered yet.

That was a week ago. Everything up until now had been a blur.

She remembered Casey and Alex helping her home; remembered them putting her to bed. She remembered Kathy bringing the kids over, at their request, the next day. She remembered Munch, Fin, and Cragen all in full uniform, all shedding tears at his funeral. She remembered how Elliot's children had sobbed as their father was lowered into the ground.

She remembered getting sick, but blamed it on her pain, and the booze she had been self-medicating with. She had never even imagined that on the last night she would ever make love to the only man she had ever really loved; they would have conceived a new life. If Kathy hadn't forced her to go see a doctor today, she probably still wouldn't know about the life inside of her.

"Olivia, let's go." Kathy said, as she brought Olivia back to the present. "Let's get you home."

Kathy helped Olivia into the car, and started back to her apartment.

"Bring me to the station house." Olivia suddenly instructed.

"But Liv…" Kathy began to protest.

"I just need to work." Olivia muttered. "I just need to work."

Kathy sighed, but did as she was told.

As Olivia climbed out of the car Kathy reminded her, "If you need anything, I'm here. Brian (Kathy's husband) and I are only a short distance away."

"Thanks" Olivia said quietly. "If the kids need anyone, tell them to just call me." She replied, and then slowly made her way to the one place she hoped she could find some type of solace.

TBC... I know that this was sad, and short, but it gets lighter from her on in, and ther are so many twits, I can't even ebgin to tell you! REVIEW!