Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho
Warnings: yaoi undertones, mention of violence, one "bad word"
Summary: Hiei thinks about his addictions. (implied Hiei/Kurama) The first of several Hiei ficlets I'm planning.
Author Notes: Written at 12 a.m. on a whim. I take no responsibility for the crappiness of this drablet. (ficlet x drabble drablet!)
It is almost impossible to explain the feeling of using the Kokoryuuha.
It is, for lack of a better word, a rush. Fire, hotter than the very depths of hell, surges around him; enveloping his body in a shield of flame. Wind roars in his ears and his sight goes dark, all vision obscured by the darkness of the being that rages around him. His senses diminish, his only awareness of the adrenaline that flies through his veins; the power surging through his body and keeping him fighting, keeping him breathing, keeping him living.
And then, as quickly as it comes, the power vanishes. The world tips, and blurs, and Hiei staggers back to Kurama's waiting arms. To warmth. To safety. And Kurama will beg him, plead with him not to keep using it because damn it, it scares him to see Hiei use it. He is as a man possessed, lacking all control over what he harms, the dragon curling around his mind and shrouding it in darkness, obscuring all thought.
But it is Hiei's addiction, that rush of power. It is no longer his trump card, it is a high that he clings to, uses whenever he sees the opportunity. He is an addict, and he is as addicted to the flush of adrenaline as he is to the scent of Kurama's hair and the touch of Kurama's skin on his.
He has tried, of course, to rid himself of his addictions. But he can never be cured, only rehabilitated, and he finds himself crawling back to that screaming darkness, stumbling home to Kurama's arms.
So he lies in Kurama's gentle embrace, feeling the post-dragon lethargy creep over him. And as he feels Kurama's fingers in his hair and hears the soft voice in his ears; he can only lie to himself and deny the fact that he is, indeed, addicted.
Ending Notes: I am so sorry. Forgive me? And maybe boost my failing self-esteem by clicking that pretty bluish-purplish button down there?
Reviews are the presents under the Chanukah bush!