(A/N) To LadyFiction, for putting up with me. Love you lots girl, ;) And because we all know just how bitchy Boris is on the inside.
Boris – Bryan.
Yuri – Tala.
Takao – Tyson.
Ivan – Ian.
Sergey – Spencer.
Rei – Ray.
Mao – Mariah.
Italics are used for stress words, special phrases and thoughts belonging to the narration time, not to the POV narrator.
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, but I own plot and OC.
Just Breathe, It's Not Like The World's Against You… Really.
Or, Boris Kuznestov Rantings.
I was bored. Not just your I'm-waiting-in-a-sitting-room type of boredom, mind you, but the one that comes from the knowledge that you have absolutely nothing to do. I had broken my blade down to pieces and pulled it back together, twice already; just to ease some of the annoyance I was feeling. I was sprawled undignifiedly on the loveseat of the living room, watching the clock above the TV set ticking away, while the music channel flashed some stupid American music video. Ivan's busy doing whatnot somewhere in his room, probably pulling something apart to study it. You ought to keep away from the little bugger when he's bored. He finds little electronic things, pull them apart, study them and then turn them into something else and completely off the mark. The fact our toaster sometimes picks up police radio frequencies is latent proof of that. Sergey was sitting on a chair by the window, nose buried in a book, Kafka, I would bet, reading avidly. For an instant I wondered if I should have followed his advice and brought something to read with me, but really, I hadn't expect this Exhibition-thing to be so annoying. For I all knew, I would just have a few battles, train a bit, and spend some time with Yuri.
The bastard was up somewhere in the maze of corridors, probably yelling himself hoarse at Kai, who, if I wasn't mistaken, had taken the habit of pulling out a Siberian accent to infuriate the redhead. While it is amusing to see refined and stylish Kai Hiwatari slang like a railroad worker, consequently making Yuri seethe like a mad man, it's not fun to see the aftermath, as it usually involves yells, glares and/or disembodiment. And really, I love gory stuff, but for some reason seeing my… significant other and team Capitan fighting like a five year old child over some archaic inside joke somehow makes me ill.
So, back to my brooding, annoying day, some kind of blond bimbo was screeching on the TV screen, and really I might not be all that fluent in English slang, but such amount of daddy references was certainly wrong on some twenty levels or so. Reaching for the remote, I started browsing through the channels. Really, people, what's the point of having hundred odd different channels when everything revolves around stupid silicone enhanced, scaldy clad bitches and their so called role model males? Ignoring the sudden rant inside of my head, I set for a rather interesting show about fixing cars. That was mildly useful, considering my baby's fate after… the incident.
But I wouldn't dwell in that, less I started growling out loud.
"It wasn't Red's fault you know?" Oops, too late. Sergey threw me a mild look from his perch by the window, clearly knowing what I was thinking about, but I simply shrugged in return.
"I never said it was." I half protested, giving him a slight glare. He had the nerve to snort.
"Nah, you just glared at him for three weeks straight and would not talk to him, unless feral growling counts as talking." The bastard smirked satisfied when I flushed at his accusations. "But you right, you didn't point fingers or anything."
"He returned me less than a freakin' matchbox of my car!" Ok, perhaps I was, am, not entirely over it, but damnit I loved that thing!
"Which, consequently, he replaced, I recall faintly." The blond retorted with a risen eyebrow. "With a long streams of forgive-me's and I'm-sorry's. Kinda hard not to notice when he spend two weeks groveling at the very raise of your finger."
Ok, perhaps I had overreacted a little.
…Ok, it was a lot, but it was my car!
I was acting like a child again. Well excuse me, not everyday your boyfriend snatches your car and returns with less than a freaking' matchbox for you!
…Damn Sergey and his… his… Sergey-ness!
Just breathe Boris, in and out, slowly, things can't get worse, 'key?
"Bastard." I concluded with a slight glower and returned to watch with mild interest as they installed the engine, while said smug bastard shook his head in mild amusement.
Hell, since when I was the source of amusement? That's Ivan's job! I instigate terror! People cower before me! That's right, I'm Boris! There's a you-may-run-in-fear-and-horror-struck-panic-now tag on my chest! How come the bloody bastard can pull amusement at my sake? I ought to…
Wait, this was Sergey who we're talking about here…
Oh, right. He's got blackmailing evidence. Loads and loads of embarrassing situations that I rather left dead, buried and forgotten. Bastard.
Just as things were getting interesting, well, as interesting as this uninteresting evening could turn up, someone slammed open the door to our small suite. Not that it was small or anything, it was quite larger than my apartment, but not nearly as comfortable. Too many unnecessary luxuries, you see? I'm a simple guy, give me something to do or repair and I won't complain… unless you give me less than a matchbox of a car to repair, 'cause then I'll get pretty angry. And you don't like to see me angry, trust me. They say I should go to anger management, but really, what's the point? I love the effect I have on people once they meet my psycho steak, it's amusing really.
But, yeah, returning to the topic at hand, you wouldn't guess who stormed into our room, looking like a fussed up cat, pun very much intended.
"You!" Goddamn it the kid screeched like those pop girls from TV!
You can certainly guess who said what in the moment of surprise, as the remote flew from my hand and Sergey's book fell to the floor with a thud.
"You! How dare you!" God, but what did I ever do to deserve this? Besides leaving him at the hospital three years ago, making fun of him on every occasion possible and mock his girl-toy with ever fiber of my being, but let's not dwell in that.
So Mr. Wonder Cat was yelling himself hoarse, which on itself is pretty damn amusing… from a distance. Boy, does that kid have a powerful set of lungs… Sergey seemed to be annoyed, which couldn't be really good for whoever's involved, and personally I was itching to shut the little annoyance myself, but the black haired brat seemed to be oblivious. So, since I'd missed pretty much all his self righteous speech (his English is just as bad as mine, mind you, his accent is horrible, so there), and since I was, am, pretty much a prat, I answered him with the only logical phrase that could apply to my situation.
"What?" I added the little flagbastered expression Yuri seems to find so cute… though I don't know why, it's no like I do cute. But why does that redhead of my boyfriend continues to coo me and calling me things like cute and adorable, I will never know… it's annoying too. I mean, I've got a reputation to maintain, you know? Almost twenty years of being a bastard and all that… really deflates the ego that the little minx sees me as such… at least he's over the fluffy comments, they irked me really, really bad. Kinda the worst turn off ever.
So… what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Wonder Cat.
Man, was the fur ball pissed off.
"Go get Yuri off Kai!" Ok, I was confused, not that he would notice, but I was. "Go get your psycho boyfriend off mine this instant!" He repeated with a slit eyed glare. Gah, I hate his eyes, they're so… freaky. I don't like cats in general, him in particular.
"Why don't you do it yourself if you're so pressed!" I couldn't help retorting, glaring. "The only one bothered by the situation here is you! Leave me alone, I'm no one's babysitter, let alone Yuri's!" Have I ever mentioned how much I hate my accent when speaking English? 'Cause god, I hate it. Passionately, with a loathing few things can inspire within me. My vocal chords weren't made for speaking English. Period.
Anyway, Fur ball was about to go berserker on me when Sergey, thankfully, interrupted.
"Rei, drop it." That's it. Simple and easy and the cat retreated, folded back his claws and hid his fangs. Don't ask me why those two are friends, I haven't figured out yet, but they are. More like Sergey's the cat's older sibling that always knows what's best. And he actually listens. Makes you wonder what kind of blackmail our little Whale has on the cat… not that he can't make friends without blackmail, 'cause he certainly can, but really, Sergey's a manipulative bastard, plain and simple, and manipulation, deceiving and misunderstandings are what he does best.
"But, but… Sergeeeey…" I stood corrected, there was something worse than having the brat yelling at me, and it was him whining at Sergey's feet. And now there he was, bemoaning how much of a bastard I was, am, and how Yuri's a prat, to which I might be inclined to agree since the incident and the matchbox thing, but since I'm already over it, I don't… but really. Though, I must admit it's a surprise I managed to get all that from that horrible English he has, 'cause really, it's unbearable! I glared at him and I was about to snap that he wasn't welcome here and that he could go mop at Kai's feet when there was a slight explosion from Ivan's room.
"Whoa dude…" Said Shrimp came out of his room, which was at the moment filled with smoke, grinning madly. I'll never know how he can speak so fast when he's excited, I couldn't make much of what he said, anyway. "I knew I could make the radio blow, Nikita's surely getting his due when we get back home…" He raised an eyebrow at the Cat's sudden appearance, Sergey's flagbastered expression and quite possibly my own disbelieving stare. "Hey Rei."
Why is that my whole team has been bewitched by the little black haired minx? Ivan likes him. Ivan! The prat that pulls pranks on everyone, but he wouldn't touch the cat! Said he was too nice to get involved in his prank wars! He respects the fur ball but gives me a fucking miniature car made out of a matchbox when I was mourning! The bastard.
Just breathe Boris, in and out, slowly, no need to kill somebody…
"Hey Krevietka." Misleading, little bastard. He can't speak Russian! I don't know why he even bothers, and… it's pronounced Krievietka. As if one could smile that widely when seeing your former enemies. Ha! Noble my ass… well, no. My ass ain't noble, it's quite… er, know what, forget it. But I mean it; he's bewitched my whole team to like him! Not even Takao's so annoying! Goddamn it.
So there I was, annoyed, bored and now pissed off at the conversation two my so called friends had with the single person I hate beyond explanation. God, we need to take an English course, Ivan speaks all in present tense and Sergey can't get stop speaking in plural… and of course, Rei and his unreadable accent, but perfect grammar… Bastard. But didn't God just hate me? And Ivan was going on how he was going to prank Nikita with the radio stunt, Sergey pointing out that it was his fault the war had started, and Rei laughing wildly at the prospect of it. He even said he would love to come back with us just to see it. Ha! Excuse me while I snort. They were looking at me strangely as I scowled at the TV, trying my hardest to ignore it, when, yahoo, they came in. Yuri looked like he wanted to beat the crap off someone, Kai like the cat that ate the pet canary. The redhead slumped next to me, glaring for good measure at the dual haired male, snuggling against my side and sulking. Kai walked over the other three, slipping a hand around the cat's waist, and joining the conversation.
"I hate the bastard." My blue eyed minx bemoaned lowly, face still buried in the crook of my neck. I snorted.
"Lucky bastard, then, at least you don't ask him to lend you his car." I couldn't resist the remark, and it got me a finger jabbed mercilessly in between my ribs.
"You said you forgave me." He gave me that sick, pathetic beaten puppy dog look that made it impossible to say no to him and I narrowed my eyes. What do you wanna bet he learnt it with that hyper kid on Hiwatari's team, Max?
"I might forgive, but I shan't forget. Not until you really make it up for me, anyway." Did I mention that I was on sex whildrawal and I wasn't getting any, since Yuri just doesn't operate on Tournaments? I'm male. I have needs. And the primadona I date happens to be inhibited when he's blading! You can't get close to him with that kind of intentions on those times. It's like he's a woman on his period, like my sis, Opal, oh damn it, but isn't she the bitch when she's like that? For those short days you can actually feel pity for Nikita, I mean, the poor guy can't get any and he has to deal with her mood swings on top of everything else… And really, if people think I am the evil psycho of the family, they haven't met my baby sister. Hell I get out of her way… But I wasn't talking about that, I was on the fact I was sex deprived. Yeah, that's it.
"Shut up. You know you ain't getting any." Bastard. Double bastard. He gave me a sneer, raising an eyebrow in mocking as he snuggled even closer, teasing but nothing concrete, his hair tickling at my nose.
"Hey guys, we're going downtown for lunch, you coming? Rei knows this cool Chinese place and all." Ivan called over in Russian, the whole phrase being very obviously too much for his English skills, hair falling over his eyes as he looked at us with mild amusement, knowing full well what were the causes of the tension between us.
I'd rather spoon out my eyes and eat them with bbq sauce, thank you very much.
"I'd rather spoon out my eyes and eat them with bbq sauce, thank you very much." I retorted dryly, in Russian of course.
Ok, perhaps I should have edited that thought. I mean, they were trying to be nice. And, I can be nice. Really. Like, not evil and all that. I can even smile for a short while. I even bother on charming from time to time… Yeah, I can be Boris Charming Kuznestov…
Who the hell am I kidding? I'm anti-social and I love it!
Yet, for some unfathomable reason, twenty minutes later I found myself sitting on the damn restaurant, straining myself so as to not perform Gore-rated acts on my teammates, friends and cat. Seriously, when did I stop commanding fear and started following orders? I mean, I so didn't want to be there… but at least it wasn't sushi. I hate sushi. I mean, how can you eat fish that's raw? With all fear of sounding like a stupid bimbo-ish school girl, ew. That just makes me sick, and urg. And the conversation! You know, there's nothing worst than a bunch of guys from different nationalities trying to speak English without the horrible accents each of us have. I think Kai has the cleanest, 'cause you know, you can actually understand him, but all in all, I don't know why they don't get a headache for it. So, what was the earth shattering conversation about? Women. Yeah, plain old women. Why was a bunch of gay guys eating Chinese in New York, talking about women, I'll never know, but really.
Just breathe Boris, in and out, slowly… That phrase was becoming my personal mantra to avoid bloodshed.
"And, you know, Takao made the whole racket out of that, it was hilarious." Everybody laughed at the cat's comment, 'cause, of course, nice, lovely, perfect Rei is funny. Funny my damn ass. Well, my ass ain't funny but… we've been there before. Anyway, I was grinding my teeth together and trying not to snap at them. Hell, even Yuri liked him. Yuri.
You know, life ain't fair.
Really, really deep, Boris, just breathe, everything's gonna be fine, just breathe…
"Heh, this Mao person sounds a lot like Opal, ne Bo?" Huh? Ivan was talking to me? I blinked as all eyes on the table fixed on me, a pair of accusing golden ones flashing insolently and I shrugged. Oh, and he had called me Bo in front the cat, great, just… great. Why must they shorten my name! I like it the way it is, damn it. It's a dignified name! It has… Boris-ness in it! I wanna sulk.
"What?" Ivan sighed.
"That Mao and Opal are alike." Yuri smoothly answered. Have I mentioned that everything he does is smooth? No, I mean it. Even when he wakes up, he walks smoothly to the bathroom, and then he gets dressed smoothly, and even when he's yelling himself hoarse at some slacking student he does it so smoothly… er, back to the topic at hand, right?
"Really?" I arched my eyebrows, genuinely interested for once. Hey, do you know how scarce are the chances I get to bitch about my sister? Ok, to bitch out loud… "I doubt she's a spoil rotten, evil wench from hell who believes to be god's gift to men. She probably doesn't grab all your stuff, nor she goes through your mail, nor she grabs your cds, nor she takes possession of your computer, nor she wears your cloths, never minding the fact they're like, six sizes larger than needed, nor she takes your credit card and spends nearly sixty hundred American dollars on lingerie, and most importantly…" I made sure I was glaring at Yuri as darkly as it was humanely possible, snarl included. "She does not conspire with your so called boyfriend to steal your car and return less than a freakin' matchbox of it."
"I said I was sorry!" The redhead bursted out with a groan, but to his credit, he seemed rueful.
To my utter annoyance, the rest laughed. How dared they laugh at my misery! I shan't ever forgive or forget! I was so utterly infuriated, so annoyed, so incredibly pissed off, I did the only logical thing to do.
'Lo and behold, I, Boris Kuznestov, the greatest prick (figuratively and otherwise) on the face of earth… sulked.
I sulked all the rest of the evening, because, that let's-get-lunch-together thing, became a let's-go-to-the-movies thing, which then morphed into a let's-catch-dinner-at-the-hotel's-restaurant thing. And really, there's just so much Kai-Rei flirting I can stomach. I mean, sure, everyone likes to show affection, hell even I do (never mind it's on short, un-sappy, un-saccharine ways; I'm physical, words just ain't my way), but that was plain enough. Another thing to add to my why Boris Kuznestov hates Rei Kon list. He's… mushy. And by gods I don't know how Kai can stomach it, let alone reciprocate. I bet that if the lights had been a little bit lower, they would have been stuffing their tongues down each other's throat. I mean, gee can't they show a bit of self control?
Just breathe, in and out, slowly… you don't want to stain that beautiful tablecloth, would you?
"So," My god, can't you be more bimbo-ish? "I've been wondering…" Congratulations, should we drop at your feet and praise you? "What's with everyone mentioning an incident?"
I thought he was smart. Not a genius, that's the geeky, short kid on his team, but until then, the only decent thing I could say about Rei Kon and that I had never doubted, it was his mild intelligence. Again, is nothing for Guinness, but enough to be, you know, respectful.
But he had asked what against all hope I had hoped he wouldn't.
Deeply, as deeply as you can… just breathe…
There was this uncomfortable, stony silence in the table as all eyes turned to me and Yuri. I was glowering, my lover was looking for an exit. And then, I did what no one would have expected, I implanted fear of Boris in their hearts, a fear so deep they would have nightmares about it. Mwahahaha, my evil ways are scary…
I smiled benevolently.
Ivan dropped his spoon, splashing himself with his soup, while Spencer filled his glass with water until it overflowed. Kai was staring horror struck at me and Rei bleached. Yuri buried his head into his hands.
"Well Rei, you see, there was this accident last month," The redhead at my right was begging any god to kill him, I bet. "And someone who dared to call himself my boyfriend…"
So yeah, that narration was so fun! So what if it was sadistic and insulting to Yuri's intelligence, he deserves it! For being an ass and not letting me have any! Well, not that he was an ass, in you know, the literal sense, but rather, he's got a nice ass. Really cute, the kind of ass you just want to… er. I'll stop that train of thought now, promise. But I can't say things got better afterwards. Rei scurried into Kai's embrace and kept shooting glares at screamed evil-psycho and insulting things to me. I didn't, don't, really care, 'cause Yuri's face at the end was worth it. He was looking for a hole to hide his face in. Sergey was smiling thinly, keeping his laughter in check, less he provoked the redhead's wrath, while Ivan, ever reckless Ivan, laughed until his sides hurt. Kai was giving me funny looks though. Oh well, his loss if he can't appreciate my refined sense of humor.
Let's not dwell on the fact I would be sleeping on the couch that night, despite the fact I apologized. Twice. And you know what else I found out? The small living room of our suite was cold at night. Not just damn-it's-cold-in-here, no a full blown blizzard-in-town type of cold. And guess what, I wasn't even granted the pleasure of a blanket. Oh no. So, I did what a desperate man does in that situation.
"Oh damn it, fine." Yuri gave in. The bastard loves me, I know it, and he knows I know he does. He can't stand the thought of me suffering, despite how much I actually deserve it.
I crawled to bed thankfully, nestling comfortably in the warm sheets. Five minutes later, one of my arms was snaking it's way around his waist. He turned and glared at me. Darkly, with that whole my-irises-turn-into-minuscule-dots-of-color that's just plain scary. Oops.
Breath, Boris, just breath, in and out, slowly…
"You still aren't getting any." Was the stony sentence and I, again, sulked.
At least things couldn't be worse, I figured. Yeah right.
"And you are going to come with us to visit the Statue of Liberty tomorrow morning. And you will be civil with Rei." I groaned.
Sod breathing, the Gods do hate me.
Notes on this chapter:
Er… that was strange. It was incredibly fun to write, because really, you can't say it's OOC, since he doesn't say it out loud. How do you know our favorite Russian doesn't think like that all day long? I mean, it's a possibility, right? Heh, done for the B/Y, T/B wave, under direct instigation from her greatness, LadyFiction. Go and read her, you mere mortals!
And, so you know, I don't hate Rei, I actually love him, but… yeah, Boris' amusing...
As a side note, Opal is a "Learning to Fly" Character who's makinga ghost appereance here. Don't mind her much.
But before that, you think you could leave me a review? Please?