Dedication – For FlamethrowerQueen. Your reviews make me smile!

Note and Warnings: I have a sandwich craving and I've been reading too many Megadeth fics. Also, I'm feeling pervy again. Forgive the language, it's at least half Dave Mustaine's fault.


"All of you, out. I mean it. Out. Don't make me hurt you." Seto snarled, retreating into his en suite bathroom and slamming the door behind himself. He sensed this tournament was not being taken seriously by the other duellists, seeing as how after the opening ceremony they'd all migrated to his room to drink themselves into comas. His room was the closest to the main hall, which annoyed him greatly. And as if having all of them in his lavish hotel room wasn't bad enough, the alcohol had made them even hornier than they were before. Which was a feat on its own.

Seeing Malik and Otogi stripping Ryou on the bed and Marik pressing Yami up against the wall had shredded his last nerve. No way were they doing that in his room; he had to sleep in there!

Washing his face, Seto looked up into the mirror and glared at his own reflection for a moment before turning around to towel the water off and head back into the hopefully now empty bedroom. Opening the door, he was pleased to see that they all seemed to have left. They'd even closed the door on the way out, he could faintly hear drunken laughter disappearing down the hallway towards the other rooms.

Sighing in relief, the CEO swept his gaze over the trashed room one more time and stopped, noticing something he'd missed before. Sat on the floor in the corner, head bowed forward and long hair falling down over his shoulders, sat Bakura. He was asleep, a bottle of whiskey with only an inch or so left in it cradled in his hand, his long legs bent at the knee slightly and parted so that Seto could see the words Hail To The Thief written on his black shirt.

Striding over to the passed-out yami, Seto growled and kicked him in the side.

Bakura groaned and raised his head slowly, looking up with dark red eyes at the man who'd just woken him up so gently.

"What do you want, fuckhead? I'm trying to sleep here." The albino hissed out, raking his eyes up and down Seto's figure wickedly. Trying to ignore that look, Seto frowned.

"Get your drunken ass out of my room before I drag you out into the hallway and let security deal with you."

Bakura ignored him completely, unscrewing the cap from his whiskey and flicking it at the man standing over him. Swigging down what was left, he tossed the bottle aside and arched his back against the wall, hearing it click and pop.

"Ohhh fuck, that's better." He moaned, able to see the look of lust that caused in Seto through the curtain of his white hair. Deciding he could enjoy himself with the brunette, Bakura licked his lips and rested an elbow on one of his knees, letting his wrist hang limply and his head rest back against the wall again. "I'm fucking hungry." He muttered.

"So go and get yourself something to eat, and get out of my room." Seto demanded, still trying not to notice how good Bakura looked.

"I have a better idea." Bakura looked up at Seto with his blood red eyes, and when he spoke Seto was sure he could see fangs between his pale lips. "Why don't you go and get me something to eat?"

"Funny." Seto scowled.

"I'm a master of comedy. Now get me a fucking sandwich or something. I'll make it worth your while." Bakura grinned, confirming Seto's suspicions about the fangs.

"I'm not your servant, do it yourself." The brunette hissed angrily, although he hated to admit he was intrigued by how Bakura meant to make it up to him.

"I fucking love that little bitch attitude of yours, it's such a turn on." The thief laughed darkly, then in a fluid movement he slithered forward to end up on his knees right in front of the CEO.

"What are you doing?" Seto growled, about to take a step back because it was well known what a psychopath Bakura could be.

"Payment in advance. I suggest you shut the fuck up now and enjoy it." Bakura smirked, then before Seto had a chance to step away the yami had the front of his black jeans yanked open.

"St-ohh, fuck…" Seto groaned, about to protest when Bakura's lips closed around him and he forgot why he was complaining. His fingers fisted in the scruffy white hair and Bakura's lips curved into a devilish smile around him, working his tongue and not resisting when Seto used the grip in his hair to guide him.

The brunette could feel those sharp teeth scraping ever so lightly over his sensitive flesh, and that only made it better. He focussed on the wall so as not to have to see the amused expression he knew Bakura was wearing. That damned thief always slinked around looking like the entire rest of the world was just there to entertain him. With his looks – long legs, dark eyes, pale skin and long, white, spiky hair – he could get pretty much whatever he wanted. Still, this was definitely worth a trip to the hotel kitchens to make a sandwich.

"Good?" Bakura asked, drawing back a moment to speak and to lick at Seto playfully. Not waiting for a reply, the tomb robber leant back in again, cutting Seto off with a moan before he could answer.

Feeling the tightening of the grip in his hair, Bakura decided it was time for a little evil. He hadn't quite filled his quota for the night yet, having been too out of his mind drunk to do anything through most of it. Marik had teased Yami to the point of begging, so he was ahead on the evil. Bakura was hardly going to let Marik beat him. Seto, he suspected, wouldn't react the same way to teasing. Hopefully instead of begging, Seto would just throw him down on the bed. That would be ever so nice. He didn't seem as fucking…submissive as the Pharaoh.

Thinking about the prick Marik liked to fuck made him sneer, and he pulled back abruptly to begin his fun.

"We could do with some music in here, don't you think? Too fucking quiet." Bakura smirked, slithering to his feet and sauntering over to the stereo, fiddling with it until he got it to play something he liked. Alice in Chains' Dirt filled the room, and Seto watched in disbelief as Bakura stretched. Was he really just going to leave him hanging like that?

"Where did my shirt go?" The thief asked, looking around drunkenly until his gaze settled on his own chest. "I'm still wearing it. Why the fuck am I still wearing it?" He asked nobody in particular, scowling as he tugged it off over his head and threw it onto the floor, glaring at it. "I'm bored with that shirt now."

Seto just continued to watch Bakura's drunken antics, not quite sure what he was up to but sure it was something wicked. He could act innocent and drunk all he wanted, but his eyes gave it all away.

"I think I'll have your shirt. Blue would suit me, don't you think?" Bakura purred, slinking back over to where Seto stood and running a claw-like finger over the silky material.

Seto just kept watching, eyes locked on Bakura's pale, bare chest and those evil eyes watching him right back, like it was some sort of game to see who would crack first.

"Of course," the thief said, "if you'd like to keep the shirt on instead I'm sure we could have a fascinating conversation about your inner lizard brain and why you need to let him out to fuck me right fucking now before I make a new hole in you and fuck that instead." The last part of the sentence came out as a burning hiss, and dark red eyes flashed with amusement and slight insanity.

"All this for a sandwich?" Seto smirked, undoing the buttons and shrugging out of the shirt, placing it neatly on a chair because he got the feeling Bakura wanted to hurt it, and it was an expensive shirt. True to form, the thief stared at the discarded clothing for a moment, his eye twitching because he hated how neatly Seto had put it down. He had an obsessive-compulsive urge to take it off the chair and throw it on the floor, so he did.

"I feel better now. And yes, a sandwich is worth a fuck. But it had better be a good one, or I'm going to have to hurt you beyond repair and you'll live the rest of your life wishing you'd made a better sandwich."

Seto didn't say anything about the shirt, because it didn't matter and Bakura's weirdness was interesting.

"You have a way with words." Was all the brunette said, bringing his hand up to bury his fingers in Bakura's spiky hair again.

"You've only seen two of the things I can do with my mouth. Three if you count drinking until even that prick Keith looks hot enough to screw." The tomb robber licked his lips as the music changed from dirt to grind. Seto leant down a little and crushed their lips together, shutting Bakura up for a moment. His tongue slipped into the thief's mouth, and after a somewhat vicious kiss he pulled back for air, looking down at the yami.

"You've slept with Keith?" He asked, wondering why the jealous feeling began to flare up in the pit of his stomach.

Using the moment of rage to his advantage, he used the grip in Bakura's long hair to throw him down on the bed, enjoying the sight of him sprawled out like an offering to the devil.

"I'm a slut, not desperate. Have you fucking seen the guy?" Bakura answered, giving a fanged grin that promised he wasn't about to give in just yet.

"Yes, unfortunately. You'd better not have slept with him." The CEO warned, noticing that Bakura was wearing a silver bangle on one wrist and a long strand of lettered beads on the other, spelling out each of the seven deadly sins with a black bead in between each word. He'd covered quite a few of them, he suspected. Envy he'd just done, Pride was obvious enough, Greed probably had something to do with either all the money he had in his bank account or wanting Bakura all to himself. Sloth was one he hadn't managed yet, nor Gluttony. Wrath he had no problem with, the thought of Keith getting his hands where he was about to get them took care of that one. As for Lust… He was getting to that one.

"Possessive, are we? When did I become your bitch?" Bakura sneered, then groaned as Seto decided to show him and climbed over him on the bed, grabbing him roughly through his jeans.

"About ten minutes ago. And I don't share my toys, so this is mine now." The brunette enjoyed the choked back gasp from the albino beneath him as he gave another squeeze to make his point.

"You couldn't make me your bitch if you had me chained down, Ssseto." Bakura hissed his name, and it only made him smirk. He was in control now.

"Care to make that a bet?" He asked, unzipping those tight jeans and yanking them off roughly, tossing them over with the shirts on the floor.

"Have at it," The tomb robber hissed in challenge, enjoying where this was going. Never one to back down, Seto locked their lips again and this time with enough force to bruise.

Distracting the thief with the kiss, he once again took hold of the albino, this time without his jeans to get in the way. Bakura broke the kiss to gasp and jerk upwards a little, clenching his sharp teeth.

"That's…-Ah! That's hardly fair," he groaned, noticing a moment too late when Seto grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the sheets above his head with his free hand.

"Since when did you care about fairness?" The brunette asked, then ducked his head down and kissed the thief's pale throat. Bakura was slithering like a snake underneath him and he stopped touching the tomb robber for a moment to remove the last of his own clothing before going back to the task at hand.

"Since it applied to me." Bakura answered, managing to get his breath back and struggle a little. Shit, he really needed to stop drinking so much before sex. "And you're about to fuck a drunk person, isn't that against…something?" He was going to say morals, but he wasn't entirely sure Seto had those, and if he did they were likely ones only he could understand.

"That only works with women. You're a man. I feel no guilt." The taller male allowed himself a rare grin into Bakura's neck and released his wrists, satisfied that he'd asserted his authority over the smaller duellist. Moving down, he felt Bakura's long fingers curling in his hair as he started to lick a path down that pale chest, his other hand still working slowly.

"They're right – you are a bastard. Keep going." Bakura writhed, watching with half-lidded eyes as the brunette stopped his ministrations for a moment to part his thighs and tilt his hips up a little. Then, moving right down, he paused.

"Lube." He said, automatically knowing that Bakura was mad enough to be carrying that stuff around with him.

"Jeans. Back pocket. Want the blueberry one. Like blue." Bakura mumbled, twitching because Seto had stopped touching him and he was right on the edge of release.

Not even having to get off the bed, Seto reached down and picked up the jeans, rummaging in the back pockets until he came up with a little blue packet of lube. There was a red one too, but he left that alone and threw the jeans back onto the floor, tearing the packet open with his teeth.

"This might be cold," He said mockingly, letting it drizzle onto his hand.

"Oh, I'm going to fucking hurt you in a minute…" Bakura growled, trying not to laugh. Even Marik had never dared say something like that to him before.

Before he could make good on his threat though, two slick fingers pushed inside him and he arched his back, letting out a stream of curses that went from Japanese to Ancient Egyptian and back again.

"I take it you like that." Seto said smugly, drawing back and sliding in again with his fingers.

"Nnnh, m' only doing it for the sandwich…" Bakura insisted, his eyes sliding closed in pleasure when Seto added another finger.

"Of course you are." Sarcasm, what a gift. Three fingers were enough, he judged, and took his sweet time drawing them out. What little lube was left in the packet he spread on himself, wondering why the hell Bakura had to pick the blue one. The cd changed to Heroin and he slowly pushed inside Bakura, wondering how the thief managed to arch his back that much.

"…Ffffuck…" The tomb robber managed to grind out, gasping heavily as Seto made it all the way in and stilled to let him adjust.

"You love that word, don't you?" Seto's voice was only slightly breathless, though it felt amazing. He was good at recovering fast.

"Ah… I'd be lost without it…" The albino panted, giving a low moan when Seto decided his adjusting time was up, and gave a long, slow movement in and out. "You-! Fuck!" The thief choked, not even getting time to collect himself before Seto laughed evilly and did it again, setting a pace.

"Tell me something, do you wear eyeliner?" The brunette asked, keeping up his rhythm easily and trying to talk in a completely normal voice, as though he wasn't having amazing sex, because he knew Bakura couldn't do it.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to try, though. He was enjoying this game.

"Nnnghk. No, I'm just-just mysterious and exotic. Do you – Ra! Do you wear the same trench coat every day, or do you have lots of ones that look the same?" Bakura let out a whimper as Seto changed his angle a little, seeing stars.

"It's the same one. Do you always get drunk and screw people so they'll get you food?" Seto asked in that amused voice, wrapping his hand around Bakura again and watching him start to lose control.

"Nh! N-no, sometimes I do it for more drink. It's only… it's only you anyway. And sometimes Marik. A-ahh! And maybe-maybe the Pharaoh a couple of times." He struggled through the words, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer. Seto was good at this.

"Well, from now on it's only me." Seto's voice was a heated growl in his ear, breath burning against his throat. He could tell the taller duellist was almost at the edge too – the pace quickened and he wrapped his long legs around Seto's hips.

"Fine! Just-just-AHH!" Bakura screamed like an animal, throwing his head back and shuddering deeply in release as it hit him. A few seconds later Seto followed, growling into Bakura's shoulder.

Panting like a marathon runner, Seto stayed where he was for a long moment before raising himself up on shaky arms and moving to the side to avoid crushing the smaller thief. He got the strange feeling he should be lighting a cigarette right about now but he didn't smoke, so instead he just lay there contentedly, listening to Bakura's breathing slowly calming. After a few minutes of nothing but breathing and smug thoughts, Seto was pretty sure Bakura had fallen asleep. He was pretty drunk, and it stood to reason he'd be tired now. However, that idea was shot straight to hell when a cute little growl echoed through the room from the thief's flat stomach, and the tomb robber finally spoke.

"Ngh, so how about you get me my fucking sandwich now?"


That was more about me trying to be funny than the sex. I've been told I'm not supposed to mix the two genres, so I had to do it just to be contrary. I wrote an entire fic at 4am just because I want a sandwich, I love that.