I don't own it, most likely never will. Disney does, and they won't sell. Don't worry folks, was just getting caught up in some writer's block, saw this little challenge on RS net, and decided it looked like fun. Probably falls under dark humour, but should be good for a laugh.


Life is Unfair

"KP, I'm telling you, senior year will be a breeze! We get to sit at the senior table, eat the best food, we rule!"

Kim sighed beside him, shaking her head slightly. "Just don't go getting all big heady about it Ron. After all, we have SATs, and you still need to pass all your courses if we want to go to the same college together."

Ron pouted as he turned to her, his lower lip quivering slightly. "Can't I get just a little big heady? I mean, I am walking into the first day of school as a senior, dating the most beautiful, talented, amazing woman in the whole world!"

Kim smiled broadly, pulling Ron in for a brief kiss. "All right, but only a little."



Ron and Kim, hand in hand, walked into their first class, reluctantly parting when they noticed Mr. Barkin eyeing them. Ron was surprised to see him, sure that Ms. Crenshaw was scheduled to teach first period, and made his way over to the front desk.

"Um… Mr. Barkin… where's Ms. Crenshaw?"

Steve Barkin glared at the young man in front of him. "I'm afraid she won't be here. She had to go in for an operation, and I'll be covering her class. Now, find your seat Stoppable, so I can begin class."

Ron slunk over to his seat, and smiled that Kim had managed to save a spot beside her. Mr. Barkin rose from his seat, tugging at his shirt to keep it straight. "Welcome to Advanced Algebra. For those that don't know me, my name is Mr. Barkin, and I'll be your teacher for this class."

Ron's eyes widened, and he leaned quickly over to Kim. "Advanced Algebra? I thought this was Geography? You know, like countries and stuff."

Kim leaned over whispering quietly. "Ron, you knew we had this class since the beginning of summer. I thought you were fine with it."

"Fine with it? I've never been able to understand this stuff! How am I…"

"Stoppable, no talking in my class!" Mr. Barkin leaned down, bringing him face to face with Ron. "Am I understood, or should I separate you from Possible?"

Ron slunk down in his chair, cringing. "I'm good here, sir."

Mr. Barkin smiled, and straightened up. "Good. Now, since this is Advanced Algebra, I'd like to see what everyone remembers. We're going to have a pop quiz."

Ron's jaw dropped to the floor, his eyes wide. "Pop quiz? We haven't even had a class yet! That is so ferociously unfair!"

Mr. Barkin glared at Ron, before turning to the rest of the class. "Anyone else have a problem with a pop quiz right now?"

Ron glanced everywhere, but no one spoke up or raised their hands. Even Kim was silent as she just sat there smiling. Ron sank deeper into his seat.

"I didn't think so. Now, everyone pull out a piece of paper. I will tell you the question, and you will write it out and answer it. If you haven't got an answer by the time I move on to the next question, you'll have to move on to the next one. Is that understood? Good."

Mr. Barkin returned behind his desk, sitting down with a grin on his face. "First question, 3 + 2 5x(y + 1). Begin!"

Ron had barely been able to write down the question, and he stared blankly at the page in front of him. He looked at it, trying desperately to remember anything from last year that could help him with this. He knew that the letters had to move, but had no idea where to begin. He fiddled with the figures, glancing around as everyone around him seemed to finish at the same time.

"Second question…"

"Mr. Barkin?" Ron stared wide-eyed at the teacher, clenching his pen tight in one hand. "I'm not even close to ready."

Mr. Barkin looked over the rest of the classroom, smiling. "Anyone else not ready?"

Almost as one, the rest of the class responded. "No Mr. Barkin."

Mr. Barkin shrugged as he turned back to Ron. "Sorry, but I can't hold up the test for just one student. Second question… Evaluate b + x2, where b equals-2 and x equals p + 1."

Ron stared blankly, as he frantically tried to write out the problem. "Um… what was…"

"No talking Stoppable. If you didn't hear me the first time, that is your problem. It won't help you to disturb the other students."

"But Mr. Barkin…"

"What did I just say Stoppable?" Mr. Barkin rose from his seat, standing over by Ron now. "Alright class, question 3… factor this trinomial. 5u2 + -11uv + 6v2."

Ron was writing frantically now, desperate to get something done. Mr. Barkin's next comment didn't help matters. "Does anyone mind if I make this quiz worth 50 percent of your overall mark?"

Again, the response was spooky in its synchronicity. "No Mr. Barkin."

"Good, question four… are you getting this Stoppable? x2 - 12x + 27 equals 0."

Ron was writing frantically, but couldn't get his head around the numbers. He wasn't even sure what to do with them in the first place. "Please Mr. Barkin, can you give me just a little more time?

Mr. Barkin shook his head, looking almost sad. "I'm sorry, I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to the other students. If you don't get something on this, I can guarentee you won't pass this course, and we'll have to do this again and again until you do. Final question…"

Ron, wild-eyed, stared around the classroom and saw everyone attentive and smiling. He however hadn't gotten a single thing right yet, let alone started. Ron felt ready to collapse.

"Here we go… x4 + -1x2y2 + -2y4."

Ron didn't even catch all of the question, and his head hit the desk in despair. He wasn't even surprised when Mr. Barkin told them to put their pens down after just five seconds.

"I'll collect all your papers now and mark them right here." Mr. Barkin slowly made his way around the room, collecting all the papers. Ron reluctantly raised his up to hand it to him, and he put his head back down on his desk. He heard Mr. Barkin sit back down, and it seemed the teacher went through the papers as fast as he went through the questions earlier. "Bonnie… perfect. Monique… perfect. Kim… perfect. Big Mike… perfect."

Ron raised his head, and turned quickly to look behind him, staring wide-eyed at the huge student behind him that he had somehow missed before. He couldn't believe that Big Mike had gotten perfect. When he heard his name called, he reluctantly turned back around.

"Ron Stoppable… a zero. Looks like you'll be back next year with me.

Bonnie derisive laughter pierced his ears like a knife. "So the loser won't even be graduating with us? Why am I not surprised."

Ron felt Kim place a hand gently on his, and he looked up hopefully at her.

"Ron… I'm so disappointed in you."

Ron's heart fell into his from his chest. "But… but Kim… I tried but… I mean…"

"How could I have gone out with such a loser."

"But Kim… I thought you loved me?"

Kim frowned, looking away. "I could never love a loser like you."

Mr. Barkin now stood in front of him, smiling grimly. "Looks like we'll be sending you to the remedial class, if you'll have any hope of graduating this decade. After all, we can't have your stupidity infecting any of the others. They still have a future after all."

Ron wasn't even paying attention to him, as he looked towards Kim frantically. "Kim, I love you. Please, it can't end like this!"

The look she gave him was almost pity. "I'm sorry Ron… I'm sorry…"


"Ron, I'm sorry to wake you like this, but if you don't hurry up, we're going to be late for school."

Ron sat up quickly, staring blearily into the smiling face of his girlfriend. "What… school? It was… it was all a dream?"

Kim laughed lightly as she watched him shake his head. "And it must have been one crazy dream. You kept talking about x + 5 and it's not fair."

Ron slumped relieved back into the pillows, sighing. "It was such a weird dream. Just tell me we don't have Advanced Algebra?"

Kim sat down beside him, holding his hand. "We don't have Advanced Algebra. Though we do have a math class in the afternoon, they might have algebra there."

Ron chuckled softly, as relief was setting in nicely. "So long as they aren't going to give us a test right off the bat."


Ron and Kim, hand in hand, walked into their first class, reluctantly parting when they noticed Mr. Barkin eyeing them. Fear began to settle in on him when he saw the older man, the dream coming back to him immediately. Trepidaciously, he made his way over to Mr. Barkin, fearful for what he would hear.

His voice was almost a whisper when he asked question he dreaded knowing the answer to. "Um… Mr. Barkin… where's Ms. Crenshaw?"

Steve Barkin glared at the young man in front of him. "I'm afraid she won't be here. She had to go in for an operation, and I'll be covering her class. Now, find your seat Stoppable, so I can begin class."

"And, this is… geography… right?"

Mr. Barkin eyed the young man, appearing a bit concerned. "Of course it is. Classes don't just change."

A bit more relieved, though still freaked at how eerily similar the conversation had been to the one in his dream, Ron quickly made his way to his seat. He was startled to notice it was in the exact same spot as in his dream, even Kim's smile was reminiscent of it.

"KP, I am getting seriously freaked out here. This is so much like my dream, it's scary!"

Kim placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. Yes, there are similarities, but it's just a coincidence. Besides, it's geography, not algebra, so right there, it's not like your dream."

Ron sat back in his seat a bit. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Mr. Barkin walked in front of the class, sizing them up. "I'll be covering this class for the duration, due to a medical situation with Ms. Crenshaw. Now, while I am aware that this is the first day back to school, I would like to know just how much everyone knows on the subject of political geography."

Ron's eyes widened, a silent no slipping past his lips.

"Now, normally I wouldn't do something like this, but it might be good to get into the practice of this. Life isn't fair after all, and you never know when a boss might do this to you on the spot."

"Oh no…"

Mr. Barkin smiled. "So we're going to have a little pop quiz."



Author's Notes – To my faithful readers, never fear. The next chapter of Recovery will be out tomorrow. Just have a little more to do on it, and I'll send it out. For now, I hope this tides you over.