"Bwahahahaha, at long last!" a lone laugh echoed throughout a large room undecorated save for several support columns, receiving only its own repetition in response. "Now that my new Death Ray is completed, I need only place it on top of the famous St. Louis arch, thus giving me the ultimate high ground. And when that is done, I, the famous Arch Villain shall rule the city. Bwahahahaha."
The figure paused a moment, as if expecting some kind of response, yet finding only silence, he prepared to begin again.
"ahem Now that my new Death Ray…"
"Alright, alright. We heard you the first time." came a young female voice from the side. Arch Villain turned about to see two figures standing within his sanctuary. The first was a young woman with long red hair and emerald green eyes sporting some kind of basic black shirt exposing her mid-drift and brown mission pants. Standing next to her was a blond haired, brown eyed young man sporting similar attire.
Arch Villain seemed unconcerned with this unannounced arrival. "Kim Possible! So, we meet at last. And you have no doubt uncovered my master plan and come to try and stop me!"
"Uhmm, yeah, after you emailed my website to tell me about it!" Kim rolled her eyes before gesturing to her partner, Ron Stoppable, who was holding a piece of paper.
Ron began reading the email. "Dear Team Possible, Hello. Nice to finally make your acquaintance. I am Arch Villain, and am planning to hold the entire city of St. Louis hostage with my new Death Ray. Try to stop me if you dare. Yours truly, Arch Villain."
Arch Villain paused, his cheeks blushing a deep crimson hue before speaking again. "Still, I suppose I must congratulate you on finding my secret lair in time, and getting past my formidable defenses!"
A look of incredulousness came over the young super heroine's face as she responded. "You sent us a map showing us how to get here. Not that we needed it, since as soon as we got into St. Louis, every phone pole, stop sign, electric pole, parking meter and tree had signs with arrows on them saying 'This way to Arch Villain's Secret Lair.' And when we actually got here, your front door was unlocked and you even left out cookies for us!"
Arch Villain pulled at his collar desperately trying to vent nervous sweat that seemed to be collecting around his neck. "Well, uh… it's my first time doing this you see. I didn't want to be rude."
"They were STALE COOKIES!" Ron Stoppable added, clearly upset. "Frankly, that right there is just meaner than attack dogs." Ron added flatly.
"Look I didn't know when you were coming, ok!" Arch Villain replied defensively. "And as for the guards and dogs… well they're expensive! Do you have any idea how much your average henchmen charges by the hour, plus with the medical, and the dental… why do henchmen always have to have dental? It's not like most of them have all their teeth anyway!"
By this point, Arch Villain's voice had degraded into a pitiful whine that had completely eliminated all traces of any threatening quality that it might have once held in someone's wildest dreams. Try as they might have to think of something else to do, the only action that Kim and Ron could bring themselves to take was to look at each other with curiosity, trying to determine if this was in fact actually happening or if one of them was just dreaming.
"Besides," Arch Villain continued, his voice now taking on a sinister tone once more, "I spent all my money on my Death Ray. Let's find out if it was worth it!" With this, Arch Villain reached into his outfit, retrieving some kind of remote control. As he pressed a button on the remote, the large device that looked like every other massive death ray from every cliché movie or TV show or real life incident that Kim and Ron had been through seemed to come to life, humming deeply as it took aim on the two heroes.
"You know I've got to say, as far as Death Rays go, I've seen bigger." Ron added plainly, his tone of voice betraying the all too lethal nature of the situation. Fortunately, Kim Possible reacted before the Death Ray could fire, quickly leaping to her side and pushing Ron out of the way as a green blast of energy lanced out from the large machine and blasted through the ground behind them. Kim and Ron rolled to their feet in time to see that the machine had perfectly re-aligned itself for another shot.
"That would actually be so cool… if I hadn't already seen a hundred others just like it!" Ron shouted in defiance in Arch Villain's direction. The costumed madman could only growl in frustration and slam down on the targeting remote in response.
Again and again, the machine continued to target and fire at the two heroes who ducked, dodged, ran, leapt, flipped, dived, dipped and slid to avoid the assorted blasts. Finally, Kim was able to spot some cover for the two of them behind one of the rooms few support columns. Grabbing Ron by his right arm, she lead them behind the pillar just as a spare shot hit the column an inch from her hair.
"Wow, you know he really did get a good deal on that thing. I wonder how much a Death Ray actually goes for anyway?" Ron asked casually.
"Ron, stay focused for a minute. We need a plan." Kim peaked around from behind their cover to take in the situation. As she took in her surroundings, Ron's attention was finally drawn to something along the side wall.
"Ok, here's the plan. I'll draw his fire while you try and sneak around and disarm that device."
Ron paused for a moment, as if considering the assignment placed before him, before responding with a casual "Ok."
"Ron this is serious!" Kim insisted. "Here, take the Kimmunicator. Wade can talk you through how to disable a Death Ray." Kim retrieved from her pocket the small, blue device and placed it firmly in Ron's hand.
"But Kim, I don't think it'll be as…"
"Ok, ready, set… GO!"
Kim leapt out from behind the stony barrier, leaving her best friend speechless. With a stone resolve in her face, she moved to face the enormous Death Ray as it turned menacingly upon her.
The machine fired three blasts in rapid succession. Kim's muscles tensed for a minute and then leapt; spinning and twisting through the air with all the agility and grace that one would expect from the captain of the all-state champion Mad Dog cheerleading squad. Each of the blasts shot past her, missing her completely as she moved through the air.
Kim landed squarely on her feet, only to find that the machine had kept perfect track of her aerial maneuvers. The machine fired again, forcing Kim to duck the blast, then side step the next one, and finally back flip out of the way of the next and right into a corner of the room. Kim tensed for a moment as she realized that she had backed herself into a dead end with no room left to maneuver.
"Ah-ha! And now Kim Possible, say good bye to the world as you know it!" Arch Villain smiled with menacing glee as his Death Ray powered up again for one more shot… only to suddenly power down and deactivate. Arch Villain's facial expression quickly changed to one of confusion and panic as he began frantically pressing all manner of buttons on his remote, hoping to initiate some kind of response or function within the Ray.
"Ahem." came a confident and triumphant Ron Stoppable, swinging the electrical plug to the Death Ray in his right hand. "Dude, a free piece of advice. Next time you buy some all powerful doom device, you might try buying one that doesn't need to be plugged into the wall socket!"
For a moment, there was silence, save for the poorly muffled laughter of Kim Possible, who realized that even Drakken had never been this easy to foil. However, deep within the mind of Arch Villain, a storm was brewing. The humiliation, the casualness with which his foes had treated him, all brewing and culminating into a terrifying and horrible experience for all those around him.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Arch Villain began brawling out, spilling tears like a faucet as he ran forward, screaming and crying at Ron Stoppable. The goofy young hero wore a look of concern on his face as Arch Villain struck out with a weak left slap that Ron casually avoided.
"Hey, come on. Stop it." Ron added quickly as Arch Villain attempted to strike the young hero with a right slap, which Ron again avoided.
This was followed by another attack by Arch Villain and another effortless dodge.
"Would you just…'
"Ok, that's enough!" Ron added finally as he raised his right foot into the air, only to bring it crushing down on Arch Villain's right toe. The costumed buffoon let out a high pitch squeak, and then remained quite still as he simply fell over to the ground.
Kim Possible came over to Ron's side, looking down at their defeated foe. For a moment, the two looked at each other in confusion, as if expecting some kind of ruse or trap. Yet when no more death rays came to life, and when Arch Villain did not rise up for a renewed battle, it seemed the day had been won.
"Hahahaha, Kim Possible, you and your sidekick are now right where I want you." Arch Villain added hysterically as the police officer escorted him into the back of the squad car.
"Hello! We just won. You might have noticed… you're under arrest, right to remain silent and all that." Ron responded defensively, hoping that Arch Villain might pick up on the subtle hint of his last statement.
"Oh you only think you have won, but this is merely a battle. The war goes on and on…"
"And on and on and on." Kim finished the sentence after closing the door to the police car behind Arch Villain, sealing him inside to rant on in silence. Kim had to admit, she did not envy the poor officer who would have to listen to that all night while driving him back to the station.
"Team Possible," the Police Sergeant spoke, walking up to the young pair "I can't thank you enough for what you did. The city of St. Louis owes you a huge thanks."
"Oh, it was no big." Kim added a little uneasily, rubbing the back of her neck, while Ron pretended to look off to the distance, whistling nervously. In truth, it was a much larger 'big' than either would admit. Ever since their High School Prom, Ron and Kim had been overwhelmed with homework and stopping all manner of super villains it seemed. The two young teens had been fiercely fighting for some time together, and finals had pretty much made that all but a completely loosing battle. Having only recently finished with their last week of school, the two had actually just started their second date together in as many nights when their friend, Wade, had called them up on the Kimmunicator to inform them of Arch Villain. The young couple had reluctantly run out on some rather nice dinner reservations that their parents had been kind enough to make for them at The Fancy Truffle and hitched a ride over thanks to a private jet company that owed Kim a favor just to get here. Spending their second date together foiling some second rate nut job with a death ray was not their idea of a romantic evening, at least not for tonight.
It was some time later after the police had finally left and Kim had managed to get Wade to arrange their ride home for them that the two young heroes actually got a chance to sit down together in peace on a nearby bench.
"Some night, huh?" Ron asked, a hint of fatigue in his voice.
"Yeah, although I suppose I can't complain. After all, how many other girls get to go to St. Louis for their second date?"
Ron tried to force his same, usual, stupid grin that he normally wore, but for some reason, it just wouldn't come. "I'm sorry KP. I really did want tonight to be special."
"Ron, it's ok. Really. These things happen, I guess."
"Well I'm not going to let that ruin anything. I'm going to make up to you. Tomorrow night at seven sound good?"
Kim smiled and rubbed her nose against his warm cheek. "Tomorrow at seven sounds perfect." She added, throwing her arms around Ron as the two sat together under the glow of the full moon.
From atop a nearby building, a lone figure stood perfectly still as he watched the young couple. The figure wore dark clothing covered with gray patches of body armor over his arms, legs and figure. His face was completely concealed in a half black, half orange mask, with only a single eye opening on the left orange side. The figure spoke with a cold, emotionless, almost metallic voice.
"Tomorrow night at seven my young friends. It's a date."